Kenric slid into bed beside her, propping his elbow onto the pillow and his head on his hand. “Did I do okay? You approve of my choices?”
And that future now lay beside her. She would always have the beautiful memories. Moving forward and letting go didn’t mean she would be empty. She would be free. And with room for centuries more of living with the man who had captured her heart and changed her life in so many ways.
“Yes.” She nodded and smiled. “It’s perfect.” Emily stuffed the frame back inside and moved the satchel gently back to the floor. “I haven’t had a chance to thank you for saving my life.” She turned and brushed the back of his hand laying between them. Gratitude, anxiety mixed with excitement, and, yes, a little fear coursed through her veins. The rawness of her emotions kept her eyes downcast. “We haven’t really had much time to talk since my turning began.” It was time to face the next step and find out what she could expect in her new life. Emily swallowed hard, summoning her courage to hear the answers to her next question. “What kind of changes will happen to me other than the obvious: inability to tolerate sunlight, a thirst for blood? Will I be able to change into a wolf like you?”
That would be kind of cool.
Kenric smoothed his free hand down her arm. “Soon you’ll be stronger than you were before, faster.”
She liked the sound of that, being able to kick ass if the need arose.
“But as an unbonded female vampire, you’ll be weaker than most male vampires. As far as shifting into a wolf, yes, but that takes time. Most vampires can’t shift until they’re at least half a century into their turn. You should be able to phase a short distance pretty soon after your change is complete. But a vampire needs to be at full strength to do so.”
“Okay.” Emily released a long exhale and gave her head a slight shake. “So much to digest. It’s all kind of surreal right now.” She placed her palm next to his heart. He’d given so much of himself for her. After the brutal way Kenric had been forced into his life as a vampire, what he’d done for her, even if it had saved her life, could not have been easy.
“When I found you so near death, it almost destroyed me. Waiting for you to choose…”
She glanced up under her lashes. Storm clouds hovered in his gaze.
“I barely refrained from making the choice for you.”
“Are you happy I said yes?” She had to ask. Even if she didn’t like his answer, Emily had to know if he regretted having been forced into that situation.
A flash of lightning lit the blue in his eyes, and his palm cupped her cheek. “I’ve never offered another person what I gave to you. Through all the centuries, I never wanted to release the choke hold on my resentment long enough. Not for a second. Until you.” He leaned forward and placed the gentlest kiss to her forehead, yet it held the power to command her heart. Kenric made her want to forget. Forget all the reasons why she’d feared his strength. His passion.
The moment he’d offered her his world, she’d grabbed hold. The thought of not living to feel his embrace again, and causing him more pain by her death, had outweighed any of her reservations.
Her mind strayed to the night in the hospital when she’d discovered the stray vial of blood. How could she have ever thought to betray him? She needed to tell him. No secrets. He deserved that much.
“Kenric…” She cleared the tightness in her throat.
He leaned back to look at her but continued to hold her cheek.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Her gaze darted from his eyes to the wall behind him and the framed art of waves breaking the shore on some imagined, sunny beach. If only her heart held the peace depicted there.
What if he hated her for what she was about to confess?
Don’t tell him. He doesn’t have to ever know. The little demon whispered away in her ear, and she oh-so-wanted to follow his lead. But she knew better. Secrets like that had a way of rearing their ugly heads and devastating lives when least expected.
Dragging her gaze back to his, she started again. “You deserve to know about what happened the night you left the hospital after I helped you in the lab.”
His eyes narrowed on hers, and his palm dropped from her cheek. He pushed into a sitting position. “What do you mean?”
She tipped her head back to catch a glimpse of his face. His body grew tense, as if he sensed the news wouldn’t be pleasant. The queasiness that was the perpetual state of her stomach ramped up another notch.
“You know, when you left, I was pretty ticked off about the way you informed me I would be moving in with you. I’m sure you can tell by now, I don’t do well with commands.”
He grunted. “I kind of got that idea.”
After a deep breath, she told him everything. About finding the vial of blood in the trauma room, and what she’d done with it.
“I kept it.”
His bare feet dropped to the floor, then suddenly, he was up and across the room. His open palms slapped the wall, causing her to flinch.
He stood with his back to her, his rigid body braced against the hard surface. “Why did you keep it, Emily?” His words sounded tortured, uttered like torn bits of his insides.
She grabbed the headboard, pulled herself up, and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. How did she explain it without losing him forever?
He whirled around. A second later, he was beside her, dropping her purse on the side of the bed. Slowly, she tilted her head and met his glare. Her throat tightened, until she was sure she’d choke from the cold look in his eyes. He’d already known.
“I’ll ask again. Why did you keep it, Emily?”
“Fear? Bad judgment? Anger? Probably all. None of them a good reason, and all of it a sorry excuse for hurting you.” She searched his face for some sign. One that said he might not hate her. What she found cut with a sharper edge than hate. Disappointment.
“I’ve been chewing on the revelation I found in your purse over the last twenty-four hours.” He whipped around and grabbed the corner post at the footboard, holding on to it like a lifeline. “I couldn’t wrap my mind around a good reason why you had my blood and never told me.” He pivoted. The grimace on his face stabbed straight into her soul.
“When I made the choice that night, for a split second, your blood seemed like the answer that would keep me from drowning with the sinking ship called my life.”
“You didn’t need the damn blood for that!” He punched the wall. “All you had to do was come to me. I would have never let you go under.”
“I couldn’t ask you for money,” she cried out. Sweat dripped into her eyes, forcing her to rub at the stinging corners. “Right then, I was pissed at you for wanting to control my life… Do you really think I would have wanted to be indebted to you for money?” She lowered her head in shame. “It made me sick even thinking of using you to save my own ass, but at that moment, I was out of options. Jeff wouldn’t leave me alone, and I love my home.” Risking a glance in his direction, she lifted her chin. Maybe it was her imagination, but his expression seemed a little softer. “I didn’t want to risk losing it.”
His palms went to his face. He gave it a quick scrub and moved back to the bed. The headboard creaked as he dropped onto the mattress’s edge and eased her purse to the floor. He didn’t say anything. Just sat there with both arms resting on his thighs.
“If it makes any difference, the night of the attack, I…” She swallowed hard. God, she was so nauseated. “I had already made the decision to destroy the blood when I got to work. Even though you had made me mad as hell that night with Jeff, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you like that.”
He lifted his arms from his legs and smoothed his palms over his pants.
“You mean too much to me, Kenric. I don’t want to be the person who brings you more pain.” She clenched her teeth against the growing knot of her own pain and nausea. Gulping for air, she added, “And if there was a way possible, I would sell my soul to go back in
time and erase this mistake.” A slicing lance of pain curled her over, but she clamped her mouth over a sob. Chills raced over her body. “Kenric! When will this end?” She shook from the wave of cold marching across her skin.
Edging over into the bed, he rubbed her back. “Soon. I know it hurts, but you’re almost there. After this feeding, I’m going to need to leave for a little while. I have to feed again.”
A growl rumbled from her throat. Her eyes flew open, startled from the sound. Her heart raced, but the speed of the beats didn’t come from pain alone. The very idea of him at another woman’s throat sent a violent streak of jealousy coursing through her.
A tingling sensation zinged her upper gums, then quickly turned into an ache. Her skin itched, creating a frantic need to move.
Lunging into a sitting position, she flung the covers from her.
“Something’s happening.” Panic shot like lightning down her spine. “What’s going on?” She clawed at her skin.
“Tell me. What are you feeling?”
“I itch all over, and my gums ache.”
A tearing sensation exploded in her gums. She screamed and dropped her head into her hands.
That’s when she felt them.
Placing her tongue to the front of her mouth, she found two sharp points sitting beneath her upper lip. She reached with trembling fingers to explore. The tip of a right fang poked her finger. “Shit!” A bright red drop bubbled to the surface.
She lifted her head. Her focus zoomed to the vein at Kenric’s neck. Each beat lifted the skin there. Fascinating. Every rush of the beautiful, dark fluid moving through his body played like an erotic melody to her ears.
She wanted him.
Wanted to sink her fangs and drink until his hot blood filled every inch of her. And then she wanted to do it again. And again.
“Oh. Dear. God.” Every inch of her pulsed with need.
He reached for her. “You’re okay. Breathe. Just breathe. Your transformation is complete. That’s all.”
She scrambled from his touch. “You don’t understand. I want you. More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life,” she growled. “I want…to sink my teeth in you.”
“I know, sweetheart. And you can have me.”
“Oh, no… No.” Emily shook her head. “I can’t. I don’t know if I can control this…this need.” She hugged her chest and rocked, wanting to curl as far away and as close to the man who wanted to give himself to her.
“Yes, you can.” His tone oozed confidence. And complete trust in her.
“You sound so sure.” She scoffed. “How do you know, when I don’t know myself?”
In the sexiest move she’d ever beheld, his gaze boring into hers, he reached behind his neck, grabbed a fistful of his sweater, and jerked it over his head. His muscles shifted and flexed across the expanse of his chest. She licked her lips and tried to find enough saliva to swallow. The impulsive need to climb up his rippled abs had her gripping the sheets.
“What are you doing? You’re insane. Get away from me!” He’d lost his mind. She might kill him.
His hands gripped her upper arms and dragged her against him.
“Please, Kenric,” she groaned against the fine hairs of his chest brushing her cheeks. “It’s too much.” She shook her head and whimpered. “Don’t you understand? I don’t know if I can stop.” The unique scent of cinnamon mixed with pine drove her mad. “It can’t be you. I don’t want to hurt you again.” Her abdominal muscles cramped. She wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. “You have to get out!” She wrenched at his hold.
“Don’t you understand?” His voice was hoarse against her hair. “It will always be me.”
Large hands clasped the sides of her face. She lifted her lashes as he tilted her head. A warm trail of tears rolled down her face.
“I won’t let you go too far,” he said. “But I don’t believe I’ll have to do anything. You’re much stronger than you realize.”
She couldn’t find her voice. Even after her confession… He still trusted her. Wanted her.
He rotated and leaned against the headboard, bringing her down on top of him. “Come here,” he said, sliding her closer to the pulse at his throat. With one hand at her nape and the other placed possessively at her right hip, he breathed into her ear, “I’m dying to feel your bite. Take from me.”
The beating of his heart called her. Irresistible. She licked once at his skin and choked on a moan. He shivered beneath her. Please, God, don’t let me hurt him.
She opened her mouth and struck.
His blood filled her mouth, but the man who held her filled her heart to overflowing. She snaked her arms around his neck and her palms into his hair. The thick, silky locks slid through her fingers while her lips and tongue pulled his delicious essence into her. Nothing in her life had ever felt so right.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kenric slipped back into the house through his private entrance. Leaving Emily, though he’d craved more, had been difficult. He’d ached to have her beneath him, his cock buried deep inside. But she’d fallen into a deep sleep after her feeding, and he’d neglected his own nourishment for too long. He’d also had to check in with his Enclave. Two nights had come and gone, but as he’d expected, Guerin had everything under control, and he was glad to hear Emily had survived her transformation and all was well.
Nearing the bed, his heart swelled. A pink tinge colored her cheeks. Her reddish brown locks lay spread across her pillow in a sea of curls that he hungered to sink his fingers into. Taking care of her, feeding her—nothing had ever felt so right.
Before their earlier talk, he’d questioned his sanity. As leader of the Enclave, he couldn’t fathom how the woman whom every cell in his body said was his soul mate could so easily stab him in the back. Though she’d confessed, her fleeting thought to betray him had hurt like hell. But the hopelessness that had driven her actions had shattered his defenses. How could he not forgive her? She owned too much of his heart, and the thought of not having her in his life… His fist clenched. He’d rather walk into the dawn.
At least between them everything was resolved, and they could move forward, because he still had a psychotic vampire bitch on the loose who wanted the beautiful woman in his bed dead. Unfortunately, that was only one part of her agenda. He was sure she wanted more.
When he found that sadistic whore, he would rip her apart bit by bit. Anticipation juiced his veins. Oh, there were many, many ways he wanted to dole out his vengeance. Ripping her apart was just the beginning.
With his clothes shed, he eased under the covers. Emily’s body matched his perfectly. He wrapped his arms around her. She’d brought an almost forgotten emotion back into his life: happiness. A feeling that had been absent for what had seemed like an eternity. And he never wanted to let her go.
She stirred. He loosened his hold, allowing her to roll over. The sleepy smile she gave him had his pulse racing and his mind and body wanting to grab her and never look back. Never reflect again on the mistakes he’d made in the past and his failure to save the lives of the two women who had loved him.
He could not let Emily down again. There would be no more second chances. He had to keep her safe, until he’d personally handled the extermination of Marguerite.
“Hello, there.” Her voice had that husky, just-woke-up sound. It fueled an already kindled fire.
The curls that graced her pillow tumbled in chaotic ringlets around her face. Too enticing. Kenric worked his fingers into a handful of her soft locks and smiled.
“I see you’re most definitely up.” With a mischievous grin on her face, she brushed her thigh against his erection.
“Why don’t you come a little closer and see for yourself.”
Her lips glided over his in a seductive, playful dance of desire. She parted for a breath, and he dived in to capture a taste.
A moan escaped her throat. He didn’t need any more encouragement. Almost seventy-two hours without her touc
h had proved to be too many. He dropped to her shoulder, then lower, to the gorgeous, dark nipples poking through the material of her nightshirt. He pulled at the neckline until he exposed one sweet nub. Perfection. Under the attention of his tongue, the tip pebbled, and she gasped, arching under his palm.
He wanted to imprint her taste and texture into every molecule of his senses. She was alive. Here, breathing and responding with every touch he showered over her.
What an excellent idea.
With one last kiss to the glistening bud, he rolled away.
The frustrated cry of a disappointed woman came from behind him.
He rotated and offered her his hand. “Come with me,” he said with a grin.
Her eyes narrowed with a speculative look, but she took hold of his palm anyway. “What are you up to?”
Drawing her against his chest, he spun and backed her into the bathroom. At the shower door, he jerked on the handle and opened it.
Understanding lit her face. If she only knew all the wicked things he’d love to do with her. With one deft move, he grasped the hem of her nightshirt and lifted it up and away from her delectable body. No more secrets between them. No more clothes. The passion in her eyes mesmerized him. He swooped her into his arms. Where she belonged.
A startled rush of air tickled his ear before she wrapped her arms around his neck and tucked her head under his chin.
Gently, he lowered her feet onto the tiled shower floor and closed the door shut behind them.
“Wait right here,” he said.
“No.” She grabbed his arm. “Please.”
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling weak?”
“No. I feel fine. I…” She lifted her chin. “After what I did, I need to know if we’re still okay.”
Fear.
It swirled in her beautiful hazel eyes. A sight he never wanted to see there again. One he planned to erase tonight, and if he had his way, for eternity.
He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close. Her nipples brushed against his skin, and for a second, he forgot how to breathe. “You want to know how I feel about last night. About your confession?”