She pushed up to sitting the moment she spotted me, and though she was wearing sunglasses and I couldn’t see her eyes, I sensed the apprehension and wariness my presence ignited. I also didn’t miss how it tightened her shoulders and abs and damn near every muscle in her nearly naked body.
Fuck, don’t think about her being nearly naked. For God’s sake, don’t think about how hot and wet and tight she is between those sexy thighs.
“Luc,” she whispered, slinging one leg over the side of the chaise and folding the other in a triangle shape on the cushion in front of her.
I didn’t answer. My throat was suddenly too thick to push sound past. Not from fear. Not because I didn’t know what to say—hell, I’d practiced the words the whole trip here on the boat. But because the way she was sitting, the way it pushed her sweet little breasts together and drew my gaze straight to that tempting spot between her thighs I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about made me absolutely ravenous to take her and taste her and prove to her she was still mine.
Because she was. No matter what had happened between us, she would always be mine. Even if she never wanted me to touch her again.
Chapter Eleven
Natalie
He was back.
My heart raced as I tugged off my sunglasses and stared at Luc across the crystal blue pool. After two nights with no word from him, I’d started to wonder if he’d ever return. But here he was, all broad shouldered and chiseled features, and just as dark and dangerous and tempting as he’d ever been.
My stomach tightened as he moved around the pool, his long legs in those khaki slacks eating up the space between us as if it were nothing. My mouth grew dry as my gaze lifted to the white button-down stretched across his strong chest and rolled midway up his muscular forearms. But it was the thick dark stubble on his square jaw and the unsettled look in his gray eyes that held my attention. That and the way he lifted one big hand and rubbed the back of his neck in a way that made me think he was nervous and apprehensive and just the slightest bit stressed.
Stressed was good, wasn’t it? Nervous meant he still felt something for me. I’d been driving myself crazy since the moment I’d awoken in that chair in my room and discovered he was gone. I knew he’d found the list I’d made. I knew not only because he’d left the island, but because I’d asked Sela if she’d been the one to pick up my things and cover me with that blanket, and she’d had no clue what I’d been talking about.
He stopped yards from me and sank to the end of a chaise two seats away, clearly wanting to stay out of my reach. I tried not to read too much into that.
“I hope you’re wearing sunscreen,” he said, not meeting my eyes. “Even in the morning, the rays down here can be harsh.”
I licked my lips as he leaned forward to rest his muscular forearms on his knees. His words weren’t spoken with any kind of bite, but they were definitely guarded, and tired, and his voice held none of the warmth I’d heard when he’d held me close in his bed and whispered sweet words in my ear.
“I love you, Natalie.”
My heart bumped all over again as those words flittered through my memory. Words I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since I’d awoken to find him gone.
Oh, I was a fool. A fool for leaving his bed that night. A fool for making that stupid list. A fool for being such a royal bitch to him from the moment I’d awoken on this island. I still didn’t agree with some—okay, many—of the things he’d done, but I understood his reasons. And I believed now that he’d done all of it only to keep me safe. I believed it so much, I’d made a second list, a “pro” list. One he hadn’t seen that morning because I’d fallen asleep with it clutched tightly to my chest. One with only one item. One item that had overridden every one of the items on the other list.
I love him.
And I did love him. I’d fallen in love with Luc in Italy. Madly and completely. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. After my screwed up childhood, I’d honestly never believed love was real. But I understood now the love I carried inside for him—the intensity of that love—was the reason I’d felt so betrayed when I’d awoken here.
For years my mother had been telling me that my biggest fault was cutting people out of my life the moment they wronged me in any way. I’d done that with my father—after the incident at the lake, a good year before he’d died of a heart attack. I’d done it with my ex—the instant he’d broken up with me, I’d deleted him from all my social media and blocked him from contacting me, and I hadn’t returned any of his calls, even when he’d left dozens of messages on my voice mail admitting he’d made a mistake. I’d even sort of done it with Elena—not to the same degree, but I had felt betrayed when she’d moved to New York and left me behind in Boise. I’d felt lost and alone, and I’d hated that she’d so easily moved on without me. It was why I’d made excuses for not visiting her even when she’d repeatedly begged me to come see her in New York. And it was why I’d been so desperate to find out what had happened to her. Because I’d felt like shit for turning my back on her when she’d needed me most.
I couldn’t change the past. But I could change the future. What had Sela said to me? Taking a chance was frightening. Well I was frightened now, scared to death that it was too late with Luc. But over the last two days I’d done nothing but think about him and me and us...and I knew Sela was right. If I didn’t take a chance now, I was doomed to repeat the past. I’d be stuck in the same place for the rest of my life. And I didn’t want that. I wanted Luc. I wanted the man who’d brought my heart and mind and body to life in a mere matter of days. I wanted him so much, I was even willing to put everything else aside—including my safety—all for a few more precious days with him.
I swallowed hard, wanting to tell him all that, but unsure if I should. He kept glancing away, the look in his stormy eyes one that made me think he no longer wanted me, and that I was nothing but a huge waste of his time.
Panic surged inside me. A panic I didn’t know how to abate.
“I...I am,” I managed. “But I like it out here. I like this house. It’s...beautiful.”
He huffed as if he didn’t believe me, and that panic inside surged higher, tightening the air in my lungs. “Luc, I—”
“I’m leaving, Natalie.”
“What? What do you mean? You just got back.”
“I have to return to Italy. Right away.”
Just that word—Italy—drained the blood from my face and sent my pulse skipping, not with nerves this time, but with fear. “W-why?”
“Dante’s in trouble.”
Oh shit. “What kind of trouble?”
He hesitated, and for a heartbeat, I was sure he wasn’t going to tell me, then he rubbed his forehead with two fingers and said, “Maricella is missing. A trusted source contacted me two days ago to let me know. That’s why I left. I had to get far enough from this island so I could make some calls without alerting anyone to our position here. Dante...” Luc’s shoulders tensed as he shifted his hand to his nape and rubbed at the spot again. “I guess he lost it and went after my father. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I need to find out. I don’t expect you to understand the way things work in my House, but this is serious. Dante’s not the heir to the Salvatici House. He’s not even the spare. He’s just—”
“Your brother.”
He dropped his hand, and his gaze finally met mine. And when our eyes held, I didn’t see apprehension in his uniquely sexy irises anymore, I saw fear. A fear that rocked me to my core. “Yeah.”
My mouth grew dry. I didn’t know what to say. Wasn’t sure what to think. All I knew was that Italy was not a safe place for him, not after the things he’d done to protect me from his House.
In the silence, Luc exhaled and looked down at his hands. “I need to find out what’s going on and how bad it is. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone. A week. Two at the most. I only came back to tell you I’m leaving and to pack a few things. You’ll be fine here with Sela and H
aych. Just listen to what they say and try not to cause too much trouble for them.”
He pushed to his feet and turned for the house, and in a rush, I realized he was done with me.
Disbelief surged to the forefront of my mind, shoving aside my own fear. I lurched to my feet. “That’s it?”
Slipping one hand into the pocket of his slacks, he slowed halfway around the pool and said, “Actually, it’s not. I know you’re not happy about being here. I know once I’m gone, you’ll probably figure a way off this island, but I’m asking you not to do that. You’re safe here where no one can find you. Their focus will be on me in Italy, not on finding you. So use the time to relax.” He couldn’t seem to meet my gaze again—or maybe he just didn’t want to—but I realized he wasn’t ordering me to stay as he’d done before. He was asking me to listen to reason. “Soak up the sun or use the time to make as many lists as you want. I don’t care what you do, just don’t put your life in danger all because you hate me.”
He turned into the house without another word, and as I stared at the place where he’d just stood, my heart felt like someone took a jackhammer to it and cracked it open wide.
I’d hurt him. More than I’d thought I could. Not just because I’d left his bed the other night, but because I’d left to list out every one of his sins where I was concerned. Sins I couldn’t blame him for after everything he’d admitted from his past. Sins he’d only committed to keep me safe.
Chest tight, I sank to the end of the chaise and blinked back the hot rush of tears suddenly pooling in my eyes. How was I supposed to make him understand that if he was leaving? How could I fix things between us when he clearly didn’t even want to speak to me? How was I going to make sure his evil family didn’t hurt him when he was halfway around the world where I couldn’t help him?
My mind skipped back to the way he’d been in Italy when we’d visited his family—tense, agitated, a ticking time bomb. And to the way I’d been able to calm him with a look, with a gentle brush of my skin against his, with one simple kiss that had grounded him and made him focus on me.
I was his balance. The realization slammed into me. He’d told me in Tuscany that he needed me. Seeing him today, seeing how stressed he already was at just the thought of returning to Italy, I knew he still needed me. He needed me more than ever, especially if things were as dire as they sounded. He just didn’t want to admit it because he didn’t think I needed him the same way.
But I did.
I needed him in ways I’d never needed anyone else. Not only because I loved him, but because from the first moment I’d met him, he’d ignited something inside me—a spark, an ember, a flame that had made me realize I’d been living half a life before him. And even though I’d been singed by that flame, it still burned deep in my heart. I didn’t want to lose that feeling. I didn’t want to go back to being the numb, empty woman I’d been before. I wanted him. I wanted us. I wanted everything I’d foolishly turned my back on in one moment of fear.
I licked my lips and stared at the dark doorway he’d entered the house through. The things I’d seen in that forest in Italy still haunted me. I couldn’t get them out of my head. Nor could I forget that man who’d attacked me in my house in Idaho or the things Luc had told me about that girl he’d tried to rescue.
Luc was right. I was safest here where no one couldn’t find me, but... But he’d also said I was safe with him. As his wife.
Options, choices swirled in my head. Just the thought of returning to Tuscany frightened me. But his going alone, facing his family and his House without anyone on his side—especially knowing everything he’d been through in the past—terrified me even more.
I was smart enough to know if I told him that right now, though, he’d never believe me. Luc was a complicated man. A proud man. An intensely sensitive man, even if most of the time, he acted like he didn’t give a shit about anyone else. He’d bared his heart to me the other night when he’d told me he loved me, and in his eyes, I’d rejected him. It would take a lot more than one declaration of love to convince him I was serious. I had to make him believe it through action.
Rising on shaky legs, I reached for the towel hanging over the back of my chaise, wrapped it around my hips, then crossed the pool deck and tugged the sliding door open. I didn’t know if it was too late for us. I didn’t know if we could ever get back to where we’d been before. I only knew that this mattered. He mattered, and I couldn’t let him face his House alone.
I found him in his bedroom, standing at the foot of the bed where he’d devoured me only two nights ago, tossing clothes into a duffel bag.
“What?” he said without looking up, not stopping what he was doing.
I deserved that reaction. I deserved that and more. But I was taking the first step at fixing that now. “Where are you staying in Italy?”
“With a friend.”
“Are you safe there?”
He sighed as if he didn’t want to be having this conversation and shoved a shirt into his bag. “There are rules. No House member can step foot on another House member’s property without an invitation.”
“And you trust your father’s men will follow those rules?”
He huffed and pushed a pair of jeans into his bag. “Not that it matters, but yeah. I do trust that they’ll follow the rules. I know you can’t understand this, but the ancient rules are the only things they follow. They’re more sacred than laws. I’ll be perfectly fine on Marco’s estate.”
I didn’t know who Marco was, but that was all I needed to hear. “Then I’m going with you.”
He scowled as if that was the stupidest comment on the planet. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.”
His head came up as I turned for the door, but I didn’t let the shocked look in his eyes stop me. “I’ll be packed and ready to go in ten minutes.”
He rounded the bed and grasped me by the arm before I could reach the hall, whipping me back toward him. “What do you think you’re doing? This isn’t a game.”
“I know it’s not.” A tempest raged in his stormy gray eyes, one that hadn’t been there seconds before, but it didn’t deter me. If anything, it spurred me on. Just as the heat seeping into my flesh where he held me pushed that flame inside even higher. “It’s a matter of life and death. Which is why I’m going with you.”
He dropped his hand as if my skin had burned him, and as he stepped back, I didn’t miss the disbelief in his features. “Why the hell would you want to go with me? You don’t care about Dante. You don’t care about me. And you’re safe here.”
My heart pinched, but I knew if I tried to argue just how much I did care, he’d never believe me. So I ignored those comments and focused on the battle I could win.
“How would you know?” I crossed my arms and tipped my head. “You won’t be here.”
He rested his hands on his hips and exhaled what I knew was a frustrated breath. “Natalie—”
“If you leave without me, Luc, I promise I’ll find a way off this island by myself. And I’ll go to Italy on my own.”
His eyes darkened. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“Wouldn’t I?”
“No, you wouldn’t. Because you’re not stupid.”
“No, I’m not stupid. I’m your wife, remember? You said spouses are protected so long as they’re willing participants in the marriage. Were you lying when you said that or telling the truth?”
His jaw tightened beneath that sexy stubble. He didn’t immediately answer, and for a heartbeat, I wasn’t sure if he was going to. Then he muttered, “I told you the truth.”
“Then I’m going. I’m safer with you than without you. You just confirmed that no one can touch either of us on your friend Marco’s estate. Where you go, I go.”
I turned back for the door, but before I did, I saw the fear flash in his eyes. A fear that flared like victory in my veins because it told me he wasn’t willing to risk my safety on the what-if gamble of leaving me her
e on the island.
“I’ll meet you at the dock,” I said.
He didn’t respond. And as I headed for my room, I told myself the fact he wasn’t arguing was a good thing.
Then I prayed I was making the right decision for both our sakes.
I changed into a knee-length red walking skirt, a loose-fitting white T-shirt, and tennis shoes. After twisting my hair up into a knot, I tossed whatever items I thought I might need into the leather duffel I’d found in my closet, flipped the light off in my room, and headed for the kitchen.
Sela was sitting at the table in the breakfast nook, jotting notes on a pad of paper, when I stepped into the room. Her hair was pulled back into a neat tail, her face void of makeup, and she wore denim cutoffs and a loose coral tank that made her look young and innocent and nothing like the beta kitten I’d first thought her to be.
Guilt stabbed at me for the way I’d treated her too, but I told myself I was past that now and working to make amends.
“Hey,” I said, hoping not to startle her.
The sound of my voice brought her head up, and a slow smile spread across her face. “I take it that bag means you’re going with him.”
“Yeah.” I shifted the leather duffel on my shoulder and fought back the little voice in the back of my head screaming I was playing with fire. I already knew I could potentially be walking into an inferno. I didn’t care. This was the right thing to do. Luc needed me even if he’d never admit it. “He’s not happy about that.”
Sela dropped her pen on the table, rolled her eyes, and rose from her seat. “He’ll get over it. I’m glad you’re going with him. He’ll need you there.” She stopped in front of me, her eyes growing serious. “But you need to be careful.”
“We’re technically married. He said I was protected by that.”
“You are. But there are probably several Knights in that House who wouldn’t think twice about using you to punish him.”