If only she had time, time to think of a way out of these murder charges, time to find her family a home, time to decipher the feelings she had for Grayson. She glanced up through her lashes at the man who would be her husband in only moments. She truly looked at him and saw the man there behind his intense gaze. A man who had suffered, a man who deserved so much more than she could give.
“The ring,” her father said, interrupting her thoughts.
Grayson took her hand, his grip strong and sure. She watched, as if seeing a play; unable to move, unable to think, focused on that ring. Sparkling emeralds surrounded a large sapphire. A ring that could feed her family for decades. He slipped the cool circle around her finger. The metal wrapped around her, a manacle chaining her to his side for the rest of her life. To the side of a man who didn’t love her. A man she wasn’t sure she fully trusted.
She stepped back, her breath coming out in soft pants. Grayson needed a family, he needed her, but what kind of a family was she giving him? A Papa who liked to drink? A wife who was a suspected murderer? Surely what she had to offer was nothing in comparison to what he could give her; safety, money, freedom. Grayson tightened his hold, as if he sensed the direction of her thoughts.
“Meg?” Papa said.
“I have nothing,” she blurted out.
Papa’s bushy brows drew together. “Pardon?”
She looked into Grayson’s eyes. “Nothing, I have nothing to offer you.”
Grayson’s face was as stoic as always, but she swore she could see the emotion in his eyes, an emotion that tore at her heart. “Excuse us for a moment, please.” He pulled her between the roses under an arch, hidden from view. In the background she could hear the soft chatter of her family who were most likely discussing how mad she had become.
“I have nothing to give you,” she blurted out. “No money, no name. I can’t marry someone merely because they feel guilty or because they want me physically. Or because…they desire my blood.” She took the ring from her finger and pushed it into his hand. Without another word, she turned to leave. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, stopping her.
“You make me feel alive.”
Her heart slapped against her ribs. Had she misheard him? Was he merely saying the words to get what he wanted?
“For years I’ve felt nothing, been numb. You’ve made me feel again.”
Slowly, she turned to face him and in his eyes she saw the truth. A truth that warmed her, that made her believe in impossible dreams, made her believe that life might possibly be worth it all.
“Please,” he whispered. “Stay. Be my wife.”
Tears pooled in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. Even as her mind warned her not to listen, her heart knew what she would do. “Carlisle. Beth is in Carlisle.” One secret gone… freed. One more to go.
He blinked, showing his surprise when the man merely showed emotion. “Meg, no, you don’t have—”
She stepped closer to him and brought their clasped hands to her heart. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t help her. Please, protect my family, protect Beth.”
He pulled her up against his chest and she took comfort in the solid strength of him. “I will not let anything happen to those you love, I swear it.”
She nodded. She believed him.
“Meg?” her father peeked around the corner looking so unsure, she almost laughed. “Are you ready?”
“Yes.” She stepped back and looked up at Grayson. “Yes, I am.”
His gaze drilled into her, so full of heat she felt it to her bones. Grayson might not love her, but he cared. His hand tightened on hers, a silent message, a promise for more that sent her heart racing. Together they made their way to Papa.
Papa stood before him, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears as if he knew, felt the shift in her feelings. Was it written on her face? Sally, Hanna, Mary Ellen and even Millie were grinning. He took her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger, every fiber of her being alive with his touch.
“It’s beautiful, Meg,” Sally whispered from behind her.
“Shh, Sally.” Mary Ellen clasped onto their sister’s arm and jerked her back.
Meg had the sudden desire to laugh like a mad woman. Perhaps she was mad. Perhaps her entire family was mad. But Grayson was serious, his face so stoic, always calm.
“Smile, Grayson,” she whispered. “You don’t want them to think our marriage is off to an unfortunate start.”
He glanced up through his thick lashes. Before she could think, before she could understand his intentions, he pulled her forward and pressed his lips to hers. It was a quick kiss, a hard, possessive kiss that was over before it had begun.
He slipped her arm through his as she tried to regain her senses. Sally and Hanna cheered, jumping up and down and throwing rose petals into the air. Meg couldn’t help but laugh, tears of joy and some of fear, blurring her vision. She’d sealed her fate whatever that may be, but for the first time in years, she was eager to see what the future held. Grayson swept her down the path and into the library through the French doors.
“Where are we going?” Meg asked, her voice breathless.
He spun around and shut the doors.
“What are we doing?” she asked.
He backed her up against the wall. His hard body pressed to hers, holding her captive. “I’m giving you a proper wedding kiss.”
Before she could respond, his lips were on hers. His tongue swept into her mouth, teasing taunting, until that pulse ached between her legs. Meg moaned and sank into him, her arms wrapping around his neck, her fingers entwining in his hair. This was right. Everything felt completely right. He moved his mouth to her neck and she tilted her head back with a groan.
His heart beat against hers, his breath harsh against her skin.
“What now?” she whispered.
He pressed the side of his face to hers, his lips to her ear. “You say good bye to your sisters.”
Meg stiffened, realization rushing in like an icy river bursting through a dam. She slipped under his arm and spun around to face him. “Excuse me?”
Grayson sighed and raked his hands through his hair. And even as she waited for his response, she couldn’t help but admire his body, his handsome face, those flashing eyes. This was her husband. “Say goodbye to your sisters.”
She blinked from her stupor. “You’re tossing them out?” Panic flared through her body and her voice came out as a high pitched squeal.
Grayson crossed his arms over his chest, that stoic face back in place. “They are going to London.”
She grasped his upper arms, her fingers digging into his muscles. “Grayson, please, you can’t be serious.”
His eyes seemed to soften and for a moment she thought he would relent. “It’s for the best.”
“You said you wanted a family!” She stepped back, the hurt apparent in her voice. “I thought me marrying you was for the best.”
“It was and now this is too.”
She shook her head, stepping further back. She should have known his proposal was too good to be true. “No, I won’t have it.”
He sighed. “Meg, listen to reason.”
Her fingers dug into her skirts. “No, I’m tired of listening to reason.”
He stepped closer, backing her up against his desk. “You are in danger, your family is in danger. There is a murderer on the loose. Your family has endured ridicule from the entire town, they need to start anew.”
“They’ll be safer here.”
He braced his hands on either side of her, his palms flattened to the desktop. “No, they’ll be safer away from this. They need to broaden their horizons, Meg. To be introduced to society. This will be a benefit to them.”
She’d be alone with Grayson? She felt completely disloyal toward her family for pausing on that thought.
“Millie has agreed to help train your sisters.”
Thoughts of being alone with Grayson fled. Anger flared through her body, and she wanted to
do nothing more than hit him. “Millie? Millie knew you would send my family to London before you told me?”
“Meg.” He stepped closer until his body pressed her into the edge of the desk. “This is for your family’s benefit.” For one long moment, they merely stared at each other, a battle of wills. Finally, he turned, but she knew she hadn’t won.
“Millie? Millie will escort them? A woman who feeds on blood?”
He sighed. “She will not feed on your family.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, fuming. “That is it, then? You’ve made up your mind?” She couldn’t believe the man was attempting to control her already. Couldn’t he have waited at least a few days to show his true self?
He pulled open the door and her family stumbled inside like a litter of pups, stumbling over each other.
“You look so beautiful, Meg!” Hanna cried out, skipping across the room and taking Meg’s hand.
Meg was barely aware of the child jerking on her arm. “Papa, did you know about London?”
His smile fell and he looked at the floor, completely guilty. “Well, sort of. I do think it would be best for the girls.”
Meg rushed to his side and grabbed his hand much like Hanna had taken hers only moments ago. “Papa, you can’t be serious. You can’t leave.” She couldn’t be alone with Grayson, she’d never been without her family.
He shook his head. “No. I won’t leave, my dear. Just the girls.” She felt a moment of slight relief, until Grayson paused next to them, that defiant look upon his handsome face. A look she was coming to know well.
“Sir, I think it would be best if you followed the girls.”
Frowning, Papa wrapped his arm around Meg’s waist. “No, I can’t leave my Meg.”
Then Millie butted in, damn her. “Mr. James, Grayson is trained in the military. He will protect Meg.”
How she wanted to tell Millie and her perfect face to sod off!
“The girls need your father, Meg,” Grayson said softly. She wanted to hit him, even though she knew, deep down, he was right. “In three nights we will have a ball here to introduce you as my wife. It would be best if they weren’t here.”
She was stunned by his announcement. Stunned and angry that he hadn’t shared his plans. She tilted her chin in that stubborn way. She hated the fact that he was telling her what to do. But worst of all was knowing that he was right. The girls would love to see London. To shop and go to balls. Who was she to hold them here? She was married now; it was time to be on her own. “Go Papa, go with the girls. But Hanna stays here. I will not argue on this point, Grayson.”
He nodded, much to her relief and surprise. Sally and Mary Ellen erupted into cheers of joy, while Hanna crossed her arms, pouting.
Hanna would stay here, protected. Meg had won a small victory, but she had this odd feeling her victory would be short lived.
Chapter 20
Silence settled in the house as the moon rose high in the night sky. Meg sat restlessly in the chair by the fireplace. She’d been sent to her room an hour ago, like some ill-mannered child. She supposed she should have undressed. Instead, she sent her maid away, needing silence. She stared into the flickering flames, her body numb, but her mind alert. Every creak made her stiffen, wondering if Grayson was near. She couldn’t live this way. She was used to laughter, arguing, talking.
But she was alone now. Utterly alone, her family having left for London hours ago. Hanna was asleep in her own room down the hall, after having skipped around, delighted with her fancy furnishings. And now Meg was alone, waiting for her husband and the mere idea that she was married was so preposterous that she wanted to laugh.
A soft knock sounded on the door. To her it was like a bolt of thunder on a cloudless day. Meg’s heart jumped into her throat and she surged to her feet. But finding her knees too weak, she fell back into her chair with a thud. She didn’t respond, did not call out for the visitor to enter. She knew who stood there, but could not seem to find her voice.
The door opened and Grayson appeared still in his wedding day suit. His astute gaze found her immediately and swept over her form, leaving behind a trail of heat. Lord, she felt like a virgin all over again.
“Hanna is abed?” he asked softly.
She nodded, her hands tightening on the arms of the chair and she waited, waited to see what he would do next.
Grayson shut the door and suddenly her large bedroom seemed so incredibly small. As he walked, he slowly undressed. At the door, he slipped off his jacket and tossed it to the desk. In the middle of the room, his vest came off.
“Should…should you not undress in your room?”
His eyes sparkled with what could only be called amusement. “I believe I mentioned before, although you may not remember, but we will share a room.”
At the fireplace, he pulled the tie from around his neck. He tossed the garment on a chair near the window, then slowly began to unbutton his white undershirt.
Meg stood, her legs trembling. Why was she so much more nervous now than she had been their first time? “Shall I call for your man?”
“He’s not needed. I have a wife now.”
The blood rushed from her head and she swerved. “I see.”
A wife. She was a wife and must perform wifely duties. The realization was so incredibly odd. She’d never thought to marry. Her life had been planned for her… she’d take care of her family. Now… now she felt as if she was diving off a cliff and had no idea what was at the bottom. Would she land in the safety of the ocean, or hit the ground?
She swallowed hard and moved toward him, prepared to do her duty, to show him she was a valuable asset. He stopped. She stopped. They stood only a breath away, so close she could feel his heat. Her fingers trembled as she reached out and slowly worked the remaining buttons on his shirt. Did he notice how she shook?
When she reached his waist, she paused, unsure how to continue. Her gaze traveled the length of his chest, exposed through the opening of his shirt, up higher to his throat. Finally, her gaze met his. The heat there frightened and excited her.
His fingers wrapped around her wrists and he pulled her hands from his waist. The entire world seemed to hold its breath.
“Come,” he said softly and took her hand. He led her toward the small dressing table. She sat, her back to him, and watched in the mirror. Why was she so nervous? It didn’t make sense. Her breath held as he reached up and pulled the pins from her hair. One by one, the curls fell, whispering across her neck in a gentle caress. Perhaps this undressing each other every night wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Perhaps being married to Grayson wouldn’t be so terrible.
Meg closed her eyes and took in the feel of his touch as his fingers slid into her heavy curls in slow, languid movements. Lower, his hands moved down her neck, lower still to sweep over her collarbone, until his warm fingers rested on the tops of her breasts. He leaned down then and kissed the back of her neck, a soft kiss that sent shivers over her skin.
She opened her eyes and found a woman looking back, a woman she barely recognized. Her face pale, her eyes wide, but there was a heated flush to her look and she knew her gaze was glazed with passion. Who was this woman who stared back?
“What are you thinking?” She jumped forgetting he was there. In his eyes she saw the same burning need, if not more intense. The difference was he knew what would happen. He had complete control. Did he plan to feed on her as well as be intimate? The thought sent her stomach fluttering with nerves and desire in a way she didn’t dare admit.
“Nothing, I am thinking nothing,” she murmured, tearing her gaze from him. She reached around her neck and struggled with the rope of pearls Millie had given her. She bit back a curse, as the clasp refused to come undone. Warm fingers skimmed her neck as he effortlessly removed the necklace. He leaned forward his chest pressing to her shoulder as he set the pearls on the tabletop. He wasn’t nervous. He was never nervous.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
He nodded and went toward her bed in the middle of the room, giving her a moment to herself. She heard the soft whisper of clothing and her gaze jumped to him once more. Her breath held as he pulled his shirt tails loose from his waistband. She didn’t turn, but continued to watch him in the mirror, too frightened and shy to look at him directly, yet too interested to look away.
She couldn’t stop the heat from pooling in the pit of her stomach, couldn’t stop her heart from racing. She was married to him. Under his control. She couldn’t be married. She couldn’t…couldn’t. She stood so fast the stool fell over. Grayson turned around at the sound.
“Is everything all right?”
She pressed her back up against the vanity and nodded, knowing she looked like a hare at the end of a rifle. Tense and stiff, while he sat on the edge of the bed as if he hadn’t a care in the world. He slipped his boots from his feet, then raised his gaze to hers as he shrugged his shirt from his shoulders. Fascinated, Meg watched his muscles move, round and hard under his skin. Her fingers curled, the desire to touch him almost unbearable. So perfect. He was so bloody perfect.
“Meg,” he said softly.
She jerked her gaze from the sprinkling of dark hair that tapered into his trousers. “Yes?”
“Come here.”
It wasn’t a suggestion, but a demand. She took a step forward, then hesitated. “I’ve never much…that is, I’ve never slept with anyone much…that is a man.”
His lips quirked, his dimple flashing. “That’s good to know.”
“I assume you’ll want to…to sleep in the same bed every night?”
“Well, the floor does look rather uncomfortable.”
“I see,” she whispered and took another step forward, her heart slamming harder with each pace.
“Do you need assistance?”
She froze. “With what?”
“Your gown. I don’t suppose you want to sleep in it?”
Her face heated. What choice did she have? She doubted he’d allow her to call for a maid. She could merely nod. He stood and she was reminded of how tall he was, the way he towered over her. Yet, she felt no fear over his size. If anything, it comforted her to know he had such strength. He gripped her shoulders and turned her so her back was to him.