CHAPTER XXXVI
AN APPARITION
Mr. Ludolph had hoped to hear on his return that Dennis was dead. Thatwould end all difficulties. Mr. Schwartz did not know;--he was not atlast accounts. Ernst was summoned. With a bright, hopeful face hestated that his mother had just received a letter saying Dennis wasa little better. He was much surprised at his employer's heavy frown.
"He will live," mused Mr. Ludolph; "and now shall I permit him toreturn to my employ, or discharge him?"
His brow contracted in lines of thought that suggested shrewdness,cunning, nothing manly, and warily he judged.
"If I do not take him, he will go to Mr. French with certainty. He hadbetter return, for then both he and Christine will be more thoroughlyunder my surveillance.
"Curses on Christine's waywardness! There may be no resisting her, andmy best chance will be in managing him. This I could not do if he werein the store of my rival;" and so for unconscious Dennis thisimportant question was decided.
At last, as we have said, his delirium ceased, and the quiet light ofreason came into his eyes. He looked at his mother and smiled, but wastoo weak even to reach out his hand.
The doctor, coming in soon after, declared danger past, and that alldepended now on good nursing. Little fear of his wanting that!
"Ah, mine Gott be praised! mine Gott be praised!" exclaimed Mr. Bruder,who had to leave the room to prevent an explosion of his grateful,happy feelings that might have proved too rude a tempest for Dennisin his weak state. He was next seen striding across the fields to aneighboring grove, ejaculating as he went. When he returned his eyesshone with a great peace and joy, and he had evidently been with Himwho had cast out the demon from his heart.
Day after day Dennis rallied. Unlike poor Christine, he had beneathhim the two strongest levers, love and prayer, and steadily they liftedhim up to health and strength and comparative peace. At last he wasable to sit up and walk about feebly, and Mr. Bruder returned rejoicingto his family. As he wrung Dennis's hand at parting, he said, in rathera hoarse voice: "If any von tell me Gott is not goot and heareth notprayer, den I tell him he von grand heathen. Oh! but we vill velcomeyou soon. Ve vill haf de grandest supper, de grandest songs, degrandest--" but just here Mr. Bruder thought it prudent to pull hisbig fur cap over his eyes, and make a rush for the stage.
As if by tacit understanding, Christine's name had not been mentionedduring Dennis's recovery. But one evening, after the little girls hadbeen put to bed, and the lamp shaded, he sat in the dimly lighted room,looking fixedly for a long time at the glowing embers. His mother wasmoving quietly about, putting away the tea-things, clearing up afterthe children's play; but as she worked she furtively watched him. Atlast coming to his side she pushed back the hair that seemed so darkin contrast with the thin, white face and said, gently, "You arethinking of Miss Ludolph, Dennis."
He had some blood yet, for that was not the glow of the fire thatsuffused his cheek; but he only answered, quietly, "Yes, mother."
"Do you think you can forget her?"
"I don't know."
"Prayer is a mighty thing, my son."
"But perhaps it is not God's will that I should ever win her," saidDennis, despondently.
"Then surely it is not yours, my child."
"No, mother," said Dennis, with bowed head and low tone, "but yet Iam human and weak."
"You would still wish that it were His will?"
"Yes; I could not help it."
"But you would submit?"
"Yes, with His help I would," firmly.
"That is sufficient, my boy; I have such confidence in God that I knowthis matter will result in a way to secure you the greatest happinessin the end."
But after a little time he sighed, wearily, "Yet how hard it is towait till the great plan is worked out!"
Solemnly she quoted-"God will render to every man according to hisdeeds. To them who by patient continuance in well-doing seek for gloryand honor and immortality, eternal life."
Braced by the stirring words of inspiration, strengthened by hismother's faith, he looked up after a moment and said, earnestly, "Atany rate I will try to be a _man in your sense of the word_, and that issaying a great deal."
She beamed at him through her spectacles over her knitting-needles;and he thought, as he gazed fondly at her, that in spite of her quaint,old-fashioned garb, and homely occupation, she appeared more truly asaint than any painted on cathedral windows.
He soon noticed that his mother had grown feeble, and he determinedto take her with him on his return, believing that, by his care, andthe wise use of tonics, he could restore her to her wonted strength.His increased salary now justified the step.
Early in November his physician said he might return to business ifhe would be prudent. He gladly availed himself of the permission, forhe longed to be employed again.
The clerks all welcomed him warmly, for his good-nature had disarmedjealousy at his rapid rise. But in the greeting of Mr. Ludolph hemissed something of the cordiality he expected.
"Perhaps she has told him," thought he; and at once his own mannerbecame tinged with a certain coldness and dignity. He determined thatboth father and daughter should think of him only with respect.
At the Bruders' the millennium came with Dennis. Metaphorically thefatted calf was killed; their plain little room was trimmed withevergreens, and when he entered he was greeted by such a jubilant,triumphant chorus of welcomes as almost took away his breath. Whatlittle he had left was suddenly squeezed out of him; for Mrs. Bruden,dropping her frying-pan and dish-cloth, rushed upon him, exclaiming,"Ah! mine fren! mine fren! De goot Gott be praised;" and she gave himan embrace that made his bones ache.
Mr. Bruder stalked about the room repeating with explosive energy,like minute-guns, "Praise Gott! Praise Gott!" Ernst, his great eyesdimmed with happy tears, clung to Dennis's hand, as if he would makesure, by sense of touch as well as sight, that he had regained hisbeloved teacher. The little Bruders were equally jubilant, though fromrather mixed motives. Dennis's arrival was very well, but they couldnot keep their round eyes long off the preparations for such a supperas never before had blessed their brief career.
"Truly," thought Dennis, as he looked around upon the happy family,and contrasted its appearance with that which it had presented whenhe first saw it, "my small investment of kindness and effort in thiscase has returned large interest. I think it pays to do good."
The evening was one of almost unmingled happiness, even to his sore,disappointed heart, and passed into memory as among the sunniest placesof his life.
He found a pleasant little cottage over on the West side, part of whichhe rented for his mother and sisters.
With Mr. Ludolph's permission he went after them, and installed themin it. Thus he had what he had needed all along--a home, a resting-placefor body and soul, under the watchful eye of love.
About this time Dr. Arten met him, stared a moment, then clapped himon the back in his hearty way, saying, "Well, well, young man! youhave cause to be thankful, and not to the doctors, either."
"I think I am," said Dennis, smiling.
Suddenly the doctor looked grave, and asked in a stern voice, "Are youa heathen, or a good Christian?"
"I hope not the former," replied Dennis, a little startled.
"Then don't go and commit suicide again. Don't you know flesh and bloodcan only stand so much? When an intelligent young fellow like you goesbeyond that, he is committing suicide. Bless your soul, my ambitiousfriend, the ten commandments ain't all the law of God. His laws arealso written all over this long body of yours, and you came near payinga pretty penalty for breaking them. You won't get off the second time."
"You are right, doctor; I now see that I acted very wrongly."
"'Bring forth fruits meet for repentance.' I am rich enough to givesound advice," said the brusque old physician, passing on.
"Stop a moment, doctor," cried Dennis, "I want you to see my mother."
"What is the matte
r with her? She been breaking the commandments, too?"
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Dennis. "She is not a bit of a heathen."
"I am not so sure about that. I know many eminent saints in the churchwho will eat lobster salad for supper, and then send for the doctorand minister before morning. There is a precious twaddle about'mysterious Providence.' Providence isn't half so mysterious as peoplemake out. The doctor is expected to look serious and sympathetic, andcall their law-breaking and its penalty by some outlandish Latin namethat no one can understand. I give 'em the square truth, and tell 'emthey've been breaking the commandments."
Dennis could not forbear smiling at the doctor's rough handling ofhumbug, even in one of its most respectable guises. Then, rememberinghis mother, he added, gravely: "I am truly anxious about my mother,she has grown so feeble. I want, and yet dread, the truth."
The bantering manner of the good old doctor changed at once, and hesaid, kindly, "I'll come, my boy, within a few days, though I am nearlyrun off my feet."
He went off, muttering, "Why don't the people send for some of theyoungsters that sit kicking up their heels in their offices all day?"
Dennis soon fell into the routine of work and rapidly grew stronger.But his face had acquired a gravity, a something in expression thatonly experience gives, which made him appear older by ten years. Alltrace of the boy had gone, and his countenance was now that of theman, and of one who had suffered.
As soon as he recovered sufficient strength to act with decision, heindignantly tried to banish Christine's image from his memory. But hefound this impossible. Though at times his eyes would flash, in viewof her treatment, they would soon grow gentle and tender, and he foundhimself excusing and extenuating, by the most special pleadings, thatwhich he had justly condemned.
One evening his mother startled him out of a long revery, in which hehad almost vindicated Christine, by saying, "A very pleasant smile hasbeen gradually dawning on your face, my son."
"Mother," replied he, hesitatingly, "perhaps I have judged Miss Ludolphharshly."
"Your love, not your reason, has evidently been pleading for her."
"Well, mother, I suppose you are right."
"So I suppose the Divine love pleads for the weak and sinful," saidMrs. Fleet, dreamily.
"That is a very pleasant thought, mother, for sometimes it seems thatmy love could make black white."
"That the Divine love has done, but at infinite cost to itself."
"Oh that my love at any cost to itself could lead her into the newlife of the believer!" said Dennis, in a low, earnest tone.
"Your love is like the Divine in being unselfish, but remember thevital differences and take heed. God _can_ change the nature of theimperfect creature that He loves. You cannot. His love is infinitein its strength and patience. You are human. The proud, selfish,unbelieving Miss Ludolph (pardon mother's plain words) could not makeyou happy. To the degree that you were loyal to God, you would beunhappy, and I should surely dread such a union. The whole tone ofyour moral character would have to be greatly lowered to permit evenpeace."
"But, mother," said Dennis, almost impatiently, "in view of myunconquerable love, it is nearly the same as if I were married to hernow."
"No, my son, I think not. I know your pretty theory on this subject,but it seems more pretty than true. Marriage makes a vital difference.It is the closest union that we can voluntarily form on earth, and isthe emblem of the spiritual oneness of the believer's soul with Christ.We may be led through circumstances, as you have been, to love onewith whom we should not form such a union. Indeed, in the true andmystic meaning of the rite, you could not marry Christine Ludolph. TheBible declares that man and wife shall be one. Unless she changes,unless you change (and that God forbid), this could not be. You wouldbe divided, separated in the deepest essentials of your life here, andin every respect hereafter. Again, while God loves every sinful manand woman, He does not take them to His heart till they cry out to Himfor strength to abandon the destroying evil He hates. There areno unchanged, unrenewed hearts in heaven."
"Oh, mother, how inexorable is your logic!" said Dennis, breathingheavily.
"Truth in the end is ever more merciful than falsehood," she answered,gently.
After a little, he said, with a heavy sigh, "Mother, you are right,and I am very weak and foolish."
She looked at him with unutterable tenderness. She could not crush outall hope, and so whispered, as before: "Prayer is mighty, my child.It is not wrong for you to love. It is your duty, as well as privilege,to pray for her. Trust your Heavenly Father, do His will, and He willsolve this question in the very best way."
Dennis turned to his mother in sudden and passionate earnestness, andsaid: "Your prayers are mighty, mother, I truly believe. Oh, prayfor her--for my sake as well as hers. Looking from the human side, I amhopeless. It is only God's almighty power that can make us, as yousay, truly one. I fear that now she is only a heartless, fashionablegirl. Yet, if she is only this, I do not see how I came to love heras I do. But my trust now is in your prayers to God."
"And in your own also: the great Father loves you, too, my son. If Hechooses that the dross in her character should be burned away, andyour two lives fused, there are in His providence just the fiery trials,just the circumstances that will bring it about." (Was she unconsciouslyuttering a prophecy?) "The crucible of affliction, the test of somegreat emergency, will often develop a seemingly weak and frivolousgirl into noble life, where there is real gold of latent worth to beacted on."
"Christine Ludolph is anything but weak and frivolous," said he. "Hercharacter is strong, and I think most decided in its present bent. Butas you say, if the Divine Alchemist wills it, He can change even thedross to gold, and turn unbelief to faith."
Hope, Christine! There is light coming, though as yet you cannot seeit. There are angels of mercy flying toward you, though you cannothear the rustle of their wings. The dark curtain of death and despaircan never shut down upon a life linked to heaven by such true, strongprayer. And yet the logical results of wrong-doing will work themselvesout, sin must be punished and faith sorely tried.
Dennis heard incidentally that Christine was absent on a visit to NewYork, but he knew nothing of the time of her return.
He now bent himself steadily and resolutely to the mastering of hisbusiness, and under Mr. Bruder's direction resumed his art studies,though now in such moderation as Dr. Arten would commend.
He also entered on an artistic effort that would tax his powers andgenius to the very utmost, of which more anon.
By the time Christine returned, he was quite himself again, thoughmuch paler and thinner than when he first entered the store.
After Christine had been at home nearly a week, her father, to rouseher out of her listlessness, said one morning: "We have recentlyreceived quite a remarkable painting from Europe. You will find it inthe upper show-room, and had better come down to-day to see it, forit may be sold soon. I think you would like to copy one or two figuresin it."
The lassitude from her New York dissipation was passing away, and heractive nature beginning to assert itself again. She started up andsaid, "Wait five minutes and I will get sketching materials and godown with you."
By reason of her interdict, made at West Point, so earnestly, andindeed fiercely, and confirmed by her manner, her father had nevermentioned the name of Dennis Fleet. The very fact that no one hadspoken of him since that dreadful day when tidings came in on everyside that he could not live was confirmation in her mind that he wasdead.
She dreaded going to the store, especially for the first time, foreverything would irresistibly remind her of him whom she could notthink of now without a pang. But as the ordeal must come, why, thesooner it was over the better. So a few moments later her hand was onher father's arm, and they were on their way to the Art Building asin happier days.
Mr. Ludolph went to his office, and Christine, looking neither to theright nor to the left, ascended to the upper show-room, and at onces
ought to engage every faculty in making the sketch her father hadsuggested. Since Dennis was not, as she believed, either on the earthor elsewhere, she tried to take up life again as it had been beforehe came, and to act as if he had never been.
Hopeless task! In that familiar place, where they had begun therearrangement of the store, everything spoke of him. She saw his glowingcheeks; again his dark, eager eyes followed her every movement andinterpreted her wishes even before she could speak. Some of the pictureson the walls his hands had handled, and in her strong fancy his litheform seemed moving the ladder to take them down again, while she, withheart and mind at rest, looked with growing curiosity and interest onher humble helper.
What changes had occurred within a short half-year! She shuddered atthe thought that one who was then so instinct with life and happinesscould now be dust and nothingness, and she the cause.
Association and conscience were again too powerful. She was becomingnervous and full of a strange unrest, so she concluded to finish hersketch at another time. As she was gathering up her materials she heardsome one enter the room.
She was in such a morbid, unstrung state that the least thing startledher. But imagine if you can her wonder and terror as she saw DennisFleet--the dead and buried, as she fully believed--enter, carrying apicture as of old, and looking as of old, save that he was paler andthinner. Was it an apparition? or, as she had read, had she dwelt solong on this trouble that her mind and imagination were becomingdisordered and able to place their wild creations before her asrealities?
Her sketching materials fell clattering to the floor, and after onesharp exclamation of alarm she stood as if transfixed, with partedlips and dilated eyes, panting like a frightened bird.
If a sculptor had wished to portray the form and attitude of onestartled by the supernatural, never could he have found a more fittingmodel than Christine at this moment.
As she had been seated a little on one side Dennis had not seen herat first; but, on recognizing her so unexpectedly, he was scarcelyless startled than she, and the valuable picture he was carrying nearlymet sudden destruction. But he had no such reason as Christine for thecontinuance of his surprise, and, at once recovering himself, he setthe picture against the wall.
This made the illusion still more strange and terrible to Christine.There was the dead before her, doing just as she had beenimagining--just what he had done at her bidding months before.
Dennis was greatly puzzled by her look of alarm and distress. Then hethought that perhaps she feared he would break out in bitter and angryinvectives again, and he advanced toward her to assure her of thecontrary.
Slowly and instinctively she retreated and put up her hands with adeprecatory gesture.
"She cannot endure the sight of me," thought he, but at once he said,with dignified courtesy: "Miss Ludolph, you have nothing to fear fromme, that you should regard me in that manner. You need not shrink asif from contagion. We can treat each other as courteous strangers, atleast."
"I--I--I--thought you were dead!" she gasped, in a loud whisper.
Dennis's cheek grew paler than it had been in all his sickness, andthen as suddenly became dark with anger. His eyes were terrible intheir indignation as he advanced a few paces almost fiercely. Shetrembled violently and shrunk further away.
"You thought I was dead?" he asked, sternly.
"Ye-e-s," in the same unnatural whisper.
"What!" he exclaimed, in short and bitter emphasis, "do you mean tosay that you never cared even to ask whether I lived or died in mylong, weary illness?--that you were so supremely indifferent to myfate that you could not articulate one sentence of inquiry? Surelythis is the very sublimity of heartlessness; this is to be callousbeyond one's power of imagination. It seems to me that I would feelas much interest as that in any human being I had once known. If evena dog had licked my hand in good-will, and afterward I had seen it,wounded or sick, creep off into covert, the next time I passed thatway I would step aside to see whether the poor creature had lived ordied. But after all the wealth of affection that I lavished upon you,after toiling and almost dying in my vain effort to touch your marbleheart, you have not even the humanity to ask if I am above ground!"
The illusion had now passed from Christine's mind, and with it heralarm. The true state of the case was rapidly dawning upon her, andshe was about to speak eagerly; but in his strong indignation hecontinued, impetuously: "You thought I was dead! The wish probably wasfather to the thought. My presumption deserved no better fate. Butpermit me to tell you, though all unbidden, I did not die. With God'sblessing I expect to live to a good old age, and intend that but fewyears shall pass before my name is as well known and honored as theancient one of Ludolph;" and he turned on his heel and strode from theroom.