CHAPTER XLV
"PRAYER IS MIGHTY"--CHRISTINE A CHRISTIAN
The day was now declining, and the fire in that part of the cityopposite them had so spent itself that they were beginning to have alittle respite from immediate danger. The fiery storm of sparks andcinders was falling mostly to the northward.
Dennis now ventured to sit down almost for the first time, for he waswearied beyond endurance. The tremendous danger and excitements, andthe consciousness of peril to the one most dear to him, had kept himalert long after he ought to have had rest, but overtaxed nature nowasserted its rights, and the moment the sharp spur of danger was removedhe was overpowered by sleep.
Christine spoke to him as he sat near, but even to her (a thing hecould not have imagined possible) he returned an incoherent reply.
"My poor friend, you do indeed need rest," said she, in kindest accents.
He heard her voice like a sweet and distant harmony in a dream, swayeda moment, and would have fallen over in utter unconsciousness on thesands, had she not glided to his side and caught his head upon her lap.
In the heavy stupor that follows the utmost exhaustion, Dennis slepthour after hour. The rest of the day was a perfect blank to him. ButChristine, partially covering and shading his face with the edge ofher shawl, bent over him as patient in watching as he had been bravein her deliverance. It was beautiful to see the features once so coldand haughty, now sweet with more than womanly tenderness. There uponthat desolate beach, cold, hungry, homeless, shelterless, she washappier than she had been for months. But she trembled as she thoughtof the future; everything was so uncertain. She seemed involved in alabyrinth of dangers and difficulties from which she could see noescape. She knew that both store and home had gone, and probably most,if not all, of her father's fortune. She felt that these losses mightgreatly modify his plans, and really hoped that they would lead himto remain in this country. She felt almost sure that he would not goback to Germany a poor man, and to remain in America was to give hera chance of happiness, and happiness now meant life with him over whomshe bent. For a long time she had felt that she could give up all theworld for him, but now existence would scarcely be endurable withouthim. In proportion to the slowness with which her love had been kindledwas its intensity--the steady, concentrated passion of a strong,resolute nature, for the first time fully aroused. All indecisionpassed from her mind, and she was ready to respond whenever he shouldspeak; but woman's silence sealed her lips, and more than maidendelicacy masked her heart. While she bent over him with an expressionthat, had he opened his eyes, might have caused him to imagine for amoment that his sleep had been death, and he had wakened in heaven,yet he must needs awake to find that the look and manner of earth hadreturned. Her sensitive pride made her guarded even in expressing hergratitude, and she purposed to slip his head off upon her shawl wheneverhe showed signs of awakening, so that he might believe that the earthonly had been his resting-place.
But now in his unconsciousness, and unnoted by all around, indeed morecompletely isolated by the universal misery and apathy about her thanshe could have been in her own home, with a delicious sense of security,she bent her eyes upon him, and toyed daintily with the curling lockson his brow. Whatever the future might be, nothing should rob her ofthe strange, unexpected happiness of this opportunity to be near him,purchased at such cost.
As she sat there and saw the fire rush and roar away to the northward,and the sun decline over the ruins of her earthly fortune, she thoughtmore deeply and earnestly of life than ever before. The long, heavysleep induced by the opiate had now taken away all sense of drowsiness,and never had her mind been clearer. In the light of the terribleconflagration many things stood out with a distinctness that impressedher as nothing had ever done before. Wealth and rank had shrivelledto their true proportions, and she said, half aloud:--
"That which can vanish in a night in flame and smoke cannot belong tous, is not a part of us. All that has come out of the crucible of thisfire is my character, myself. It is the same with Mr. Fleet; butcomparing his character with mine, how much richer he is! What if thereis a future life, and we enter into it with no other possession thanour character? and that which is called soul or spirit is driven forthfrom earth and the body as we have just been from our wealth and homes?I can no longer coolly and contemptuously ignore as superstition whathe believes. He is not superstitious, but calm, fearless, and seeminglyassured of something that as yet I cannot understand. One would thinkthat there must be reality in his belief, for it sustains him andothers in the greatest of trials. The hymn he sang was like a magnetintroduced among steel filings mingled with this sand. The mere earthcannot move, but the steel is instinct with life. So, while many ofus could not respond, others seemed inspired at the name of Jesus withnew hope and courage, and cried to the Nazarene as if He could hearthem. Why don't people cry for help to other good men who lived in thedim past, and whose lives and deeds are half myth and half truth? whyto this one man only? for educated Catholics no longer pray to thesaints."
Then her thoughts reverted to Mr. Ludolph.
"Poor father!" said she; "how will he endure these changes? We havenot felt and acted toward each other as we ought. He is now probablyanxious beyond measure, fearing that I perished in my sleep, and soI should have done, had it not been for this more than friend that Ihave so wronged. Oh, that I could make amends! I wonder--oh, I wonderif he has any spark of love left for me? He seems kind, even tender,but he is so to every one--he saved Miss Brown--"
But here a most violent interruption took place. Christine, in thecomplete absorption of her thoughts, had not noticed that a group ofrough men and women near by, who had been drinking all day, had nowbecome intoxicated and violent. They were pushing and staggering,howling and fighting, in reckless disregard of the comfort of others,and before she knew it she was in the midst of a drunken brawl. Onerough fellow struck against her, and another trod on Dennis, who startedup with a cry of pain. In a moment he comprehended the situation, and,snatching up Christine and the shawl, he pushed his way out of themelee with his right arm, the wretches striking at him and one anotheraimlessly in their fury; while both men and women used language thatwas worse than their blows. After a brief struggle, Dennis and Christineextricated themselves, and made their way northward up the beach tillthey found a place where the people seemed quiet.
Dennis's sudden awakening had revealed to him that his head had beenpillowed, and it seemed such a kind and thoughtful act on Christine'spart that he could scarcely believe it; at the same time he was fullof shame and self-reproach that by his sleep he had left her unguarded,and he said: "Miss Ludolph, I hope you will pardon you recreant knight,who slept while you were in danger; but really I could not help it."
"It is I who must ask pardon," replied Christine, warmly. "After yoursuperhuman exertions, your very life depended on rest. But I made awretched watcher--indeed I have lost confidence in myself every way.To tell the truth, Mr. Fleet, I was lost in thought, and with yourpermission I would like to ask you further about two things you saidthis morning. You asserted that you knew God loved you, and thatChristianity was sustained by arguments that no candid mind couldresist. What are those arguments? and how can you know such a comfortingthing as the love of God?"
His eyes lighted up in his intense delight that she should againvoluntarily recur to this subject, and he hoped that God was leadingher to a knowledge of Him, and that he, in answer to his own and hismother's prayers, might be partially instrumental in bringing thelight. Therefore he said, earnestly: "Miss Ludolph, this is scarcelythe time and place to go over the evidences of Christianity. When inhappy security I hope you may do this at your leisure, and am sure youwill be convinced, for I believe that you honestly wish the truth. Butthere is no need that you should wait and look forward into theuncertain future for this priceless knowledge. The father will notkeep his child waiting who tries to find him. God is not far from anyone of us. When our Lord was on earth, He never repulsed those whos
ought Him in sincerity, and He is the true manifestation of God.
"Moreover," he continued, reverently, "God is now on earth as trulyas when Christ walked the waves of Galilee, or stood with thelife-giving word upon His lips at the grave of His friend Lazarus. Themighty Spirit of God now dwells among men to persuade, help, and leadthem into all truth, and I believe He is guiding you. This DivineSpirit can act as directly on your mind as did Christ's healing handwhen He touched blind eyes and they saw, and palsied bodies and theysprung into joyous activity."
Under his eager, earnest words, Christine's eyes also lighted up withhope, but after a moment her face became very sad, and she said,wearily, "Mystery! mystery! you are speaking a language that I do notunderstand."
"Can you not understand this: 'For God so loved the world, that Hegave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should notperish, but have everlasting life'? and that the Bible tells us thatHis Son did, in very truth, die that we might live?"
"Yes, yes, I know that the Bible seems to teach all that, but theremust be some mistake about it. Why should an all-powerful God takesuch a costly, indirect way of accomplishing His purpose when a wordwould suffice?"
"We will not discuss God's reasons; I think they are beyond us. Butimagining the Bible story to be true, even though you do not believeit, is not the love of God revealed to us through His son, JesusChrist?"
"Yes, it is the very extravagance of disinterested love, So much sothat my reason revolts at it. It is contrary to all my ideas of Deityand power."
"Pardon me, Miss Ludolph, for saying it, but I think your ideas ofDeity are borrowed more from mythology and human greatness than fromthe Bible. Let your reason stand aside a moment; this is not contraryto it, but beyond it. Imagining the Bible story true, can you not wishit true? If the man who died on Calvary out of love for you I and forus all is also God, would you fear to trust yourself to Him? Couldyou distrust One who loved you well enough to die for you?"
"No! no, indeed! if I only could believe it, no! But how can I everbe sure it is true? I am sure of nothing. I am not sure there is aGod. I am not sure the Bible is more than human in its character. Ifeel as if my feet stood out upon those shifting waves, and as if therewere nothing certain or stable."
"But in part you know the truth, Miss Ludolph, though you do not believeit, and I believe that the God of whom we have spoken _can directlyreveal Himself to you_ and make His truth as real to you as it is tome."
"Mr. Fleet," cried Christine, "if I could believe as you do, I shouldbe the happiest of the happy, for I should feel that, however much Isuffered in this brief life, in the existence beyond I should be morethan compensated;" and covering her tearful face with her hands shemoaned, as if it were wrung from her, "I have suffered so much, andthere seemed no remedy!"
Dennis's feelings were also deeply touched, and the dew of sympathygathered in his own eyes. In the gentlest accents be said, "Oh, thatyou could trust that merciful, mighty One who invites all the heavyladen to come to Him for rest!"
She looked up and saw his sympathy, and was greatly moved. In falteringtones she said: "You feel for me, Mr. Fleet. You do not condemn me inmy blindness and unbelief. I cannot trust Him, because I am not sureHe exists. If there was such a God I would gladly devote my whole beingto Him; but I trust _you_, and will do anything you say."
"Will you kneel on these sands with me in prayer to Him?" he asked,earnestly.
She hesitated, trembled, but at last said, "Yes."
He took her hand as if they were brother and sister, and they kneeledtogether on the desolate beach. The glow of sunset was lost in theredder glow of the fire that smouldered all over the ruins, and stillraged in the northwest, and the smoke and gathering gloom involvedthem in obscurity.
Though the weary, apathetic fugitives regarded them not, we believethat angelic forms gathered round, and that the heart of the DivineFather yearned toward His children.
When they rose, after a simple prayer from Dennis, in which he pleadedalmost as a child might with an earthly father, Christine trembledlike a leaf, and was very pale, but her face grew tearless, quiet, andvery sad. Dennis still held her hand in the warm, strong grasp ofsympathy. Gently she withdrew it, and said, in a low, despairing tone:"It is all in vain. There is no answer. Your voice has been lost inthe winds and waves."
"Wait the King's time," said he, reverently.
"You addressed him as Father. Would a good father keep his childwaiting?"
"Yes, sometimes He does; He is also King."
After a moment she turned to him the saddest face he ever looked upon,and said, gently, again giving him her hand, "Mr. Fleet, you have doneyour best for me, and I thank you all the same."
He was obliged to turn away to hide his feelings. Silently they againsat down on the beach together. Weariness and something like despairbegan to tell on Christine, and Dennis trembled when he thought of thelong night of exposure before her. He bent his face into his hands andprayed as he had never prayed before. She looked at him wistfully, andknew he was pleading for her; but she now believed it was all in vain.The feeling grew upon her that belief or unbelief was a matter ofeducation and temperament, and that the feelings of which Dennis spokewere but the deceptive emotions of our agitated hearts. To that degreethat the Divine love seemed visionary and hopeless, she longed for himto speak of his own, if in truth it still existed, that she couldunderstand and believe in. If during what remained of life she couldonly drink the sweetness of that, she felt it was the best she couldhope for--and then the blank of nothingness.
But he prayed on, and with something of his mother's faith seemed atlast, as it were, in the personal presence of Christ. With animportunity that would not be denied, he entreated for her who despairedat his side.
At last, putting her hand lightly on his arm, she said: "Mr. Fleet,waste no more time on me. From the groans I hear, some poor woman issick or hurt. Perhaps you can do some real good by seeing to her needs."
He rose quietly, feeling that in some way God would answer, and thathe must patiently wait.
Going up the beach a short distance he found a German woman lying juston the edge of the water. In answer to his questions, he learned fromher broken English that she was sick and in pain. A sudden thoughtstruck him. In seeking to help another, might not Christine find helpherself, and in the performance of a good deed, might not the Authorof all good reveal Himself? Returning to her, he said: "Miss Ludolph,the poor woman you have heard is sick and alone. She is German, andyou can speak to her and comfort her as only a woman can."
Christine went at once, though with little confidence in her powers.Indeed it was, perhaps, the first visit of charity and mercy she hadever made. But she would have done anything he asked, and determinedto do her best. She helped the poor creature further up from the water,and then, taking her hands, spoke to her soothingly and gently in hernative tongue.
"Heaven and all the angels bless your sweet face for taking pity ona poor lone body, and so they will too," is the free rendering of hergrateful German.
"Would you please say a little prayer for a lone, sick body?" sheasked, after a little while.
Christine hesitated a moment, and then thought: "Why not? if it willbe of any comfort to the poor thing. It can do neither of us harm."
Dennis saw her kneel at the woman's side, lift her white face to heaven,and her lips move. Her attitude was unmistakably that of prayer. Hecould scarcely believe his eyes.
Her petition was brief and characteristic: "O God--if there is aGod--help this poor creature!"
Then Dennis saw her start up and glance around in a strange, bewilderedmanner. Suddenly she clasped her hands and looked up with an ecstatic,thrilling cry: "There is! there is! God lives and loves me, I feel,I know, and therefore I may hope and live." Turning to the still ragingflames, she exclaimed: "Burn on with your fiery billows, I do not fearyou now! I am safe, safe forever! Oh, how can I ever love and praiseThee enough!"
Then, springing to Dennis's
side, she took both his hands in hers, andsaid: "Mr. Fleet, you have saved my life again and again, and I am,oh, how grateful! but in leading me to this knowledge you have mademe your debtor for evermore. God does live, and I believe now He loveseven me."
As the glare of the fire fell on her face, he was awed and speechlessat its expression. From its ecstatic joy and purity it seemed that thelight of heaven, instead of her burning home, was illumining it.
At last he said, brokenly, "Thank God! thank God! my many, many prayersare answered!"
The look of love and gratitude she gave him will only find itscounterpart in heaven, when the saved beam upon those who led them tothe Saviour. The whole of her strong womanly soul, thoroughly aroused,was in her face, and it shone like that of an angel.
To Dennis, with the force of fulfilled prophecy, recurred his mother'swords, and unconsciously he spoke them aloud: "PRAYER is MIGHTY."