CHAPTER VI
"STARVE THEN!"
Dennis now followed the natural impulse to go to some distant part ofthe city, entirely away from the region that had become so hateful tohim.
Putting the trunk on the front of a street-car, he rode on till he wasin the heart of the south-side district, the great business centre.He took his trunk into a roomy hardware store, and asked if he mightleave it there a while. Receiving a good-natured permission, he nextstarted off in search of a quiet, cheap boarding-place. His heart washeavy, and yet he felt thankful to have escaped as he had, for thethought of what might have been his experience if Barney had tried tofulfil his threat sickened him. The rough was as strong as he, andscenes of violence were his delight and daily experience. He rathergloried in a black eye, for he always gave two in exchange, and hisown bruised, swollen member paved the way gracefully for the tellingof his exploits, as it awakened inquiry from the lesser lights amongwhom he shone. But what would Dennis have done among the merchantswith "a head on him," as the barkeeper understood the phrase? He wouldhave had to return home, and that he felt would be worse than death.In fact, he had come nearer to a desperate struggle than he knew, forBarney rarely resisted so inviting an opportunity to indulge hispugilistic turn, and had he not seen the policeman going by just atthat time, there would have been no idle threats in the case.
Dennis set his teeth with dogged resolution, determined if necessary,to persevere in his search till he dropped in the street. But as heremembered that he had less than five dollars left, and no prospectof earning another, his heart grew like lead.
He spent several weary hours in the vain search for a boarding-house.He had little to guide him save short answers from policemen. Theplaces were either too expensive, or so coarse and low that he couldnot bring himself to endure them. In some cases he detected that theywere accompanied by worse evils than gambling. Almost in despair,tired, and very hungry (for severe indeed must be the troubles thatwill affect the appetite of healthful youth on a cold winter day), hestopped at a small German restaurant and hotel. A round-faced, jollyTeuton served him with a large plate of cheap viands, which he devouredso quickly that the man, when asked for more, stared at him for amoment, and then stolidly obeyed.
"What do you ask for a small room and bed for a night?" said Dennis.
"Zwei shillen," said the waiter, with a grin; "dot ish, if you don'tvant as pig ped as dinner. Ve haf zwei shillen for bed, and zwei shillenfor efery meal--von dollar a day--sheap!"
The place was comparatively clean. A geranium or two bloomed in thewindow, and lager instead of fiery whiskey seemed the principal beveragevended. Dennis went out and made inquiries, and every one in theneighborhood spoke of it as a quiet, respectable place, thoughfrequented only by laboring people. "That is nothing against it,"thought Dennis. "I will venture to stay there for a night or two, forI must lose no more time in looking for a situation."
He took his trunk there, and then spent the rest of the day inunavailing search. He found nothing that gave any promise at all. Inthe evening he went to a large hotel and looked over the files ofpapers. He found a few advertisements for clerks and experts of variouskinds, but more from those seeking places. But he noted down everythinghopeful, and resolved that he would examine the morning papers bydaylight for anything new in that line, and be the first on hand. Hisnew quarters, though plain and meagre, were at least clean. Too wearyto think or even to feel more than a dull ache in his heart, he sleptheavily till the dawn of the following day. Poor fellow! it seemed tohim that he had lived years in those two days.
He was up by daylight, and found a few more advertisements that lookedas if they might lead to something. As early as it was possible to seethe parties, he was on the ground, but others were there as soon ashimself. They had the advantage of some knowledge and experience inthe duties required, and this decided the question. Some spoke kindly,and suggested that he was better fitted for teaching than for business.
"But where am I to find a position at this season of the year, whenevery place is filled?" asked Dennis. "It might be weeks before I couldget anything to do, and I must have employment at once."
They were sorry, hoped he would do well, turned away, and went on doingwell for themselves; but the majority merely satisfied themselves thathe would not answer their purpose, and bade him a brief, business-likegood-morning. And yet the fine young face, so troubled and anxious,haunted a good many of those who summarily dismissed him. But "businessis business."
The day passed in fruitless inquiry. Now and then he seemed on thepoint of succeeding, but only disappointment resulted. There were atthat season of the year few situations offering where a salarysufficient for maintenance was paid, and for these skilled laborerswere required. Dennis possessed no training for any one calling saveperhaps that of teacher. He had merely the fragment of a good generaleducation, tending toward one of the learned professions. He had fineabilities, and undoubtedly would in time have stood high as a lawyer.But now that he was suddenly called upon to provide bread for himselfand those he loved, there was not a single thing of which he couldsay, "I understand this, sir, and can give you satisfaction."
He knew that if he could get a chance at almost anything, he couldsoon learn enough to make himself more useful than the majorityemployed, for few had his will and motive to work. But the point wasto find some one who would pay sufficient for his own and his mother'ssupport while he learned.
It is under just such circumstances that so many men, and especiallywomen, make shipwreck. Thrown suddenly upon their own resources, theybring to the great labor-market of the world general intelligence, andalso general ignorance. With a smattering of almost everything, theydo not know practically how to do _one thing well_. Skilled hands,though backed by neither heart nor brains, push them aside. Take theyoung men or the young women of any well-to-do town or village, andmake them suddenly dependent upon their own efforts, and how many couldcompete in any one thing with those already engaged in supplying themarket? And yet just such helpless young creatures are every daycompelled to shift for themselves. If to these unfortunates the pathsof honest industry seem hedged and thorny, not so those of sin. Theyare easy enough at first, if any little difficulty with conscience canbe overcome; and the devil, and fallen humanity doing his work, standready to push the wavering into them.
At the close of the next day, spent in weary search, Dennis met atemptation to which many would have yielded. As a last resort he hadbeen going around among the hotels, willing to take even the situationof porter, if nothing better offered. The day was fast closing, when,worn out and dejected, he entered a first-class house, and made hisusual inquiry. The proprietor looked at him for a moment, slapped himon the back, and said: "Yes, you are the man I want, I reckon. Do youdrink? No! might have known that from your face. Don't want a man thatdrinks for this place. Come along with me, then. Will give you two anda half a day if you suit, and pay you every night. I pay my helppromptly; they ain't near so apt to steal from you then."
And the man hurried away, followed by Dennis with beating heart andflushed, wondering face. Descending a flight of stairs, they entereda brilliantly lighted basement, which was nothing less than a large,elegantly arranged bar-*room, with card and lunch-tables, andeasy-chairs for the guests to smoke and tipple in at their leisure.All along one side of this room, resplendent with cut glass and polishedsilver, ran the bar. The light fell warm and mellow on the variouskinds of liquor, that were so arranged as to be most tempting to thethirsty souls frequenting the place.
Stepping up to the bulky man behind the bar the landlord said: "There,Mr. Swig, is a young man who will fill capitally the place of the chapwe dismissed to-day for getting tight. You may bet your life from hisface that he don't drink. You can break him in in a few days, and youwon't want a better assistant."
For a moment a desperate wish passed through Dennis's mind, "Oh, thatwrong were right!" Then, indignant with himself, he spoke up, firmly--"Ithink I have a word to s
ay in this matter."
"Well, say on, then; what's the trouble?"
"I cannot do this kind of work."
"You will find plenty harder."
"None harder for one believing as I do. I will starve before I willdo this work."
The man stared at him for a moment, and then coolly replied, "Starvethen!" and turned on his heel and walked away.
Dennis also rushed from the place, followed by the coarse, jeeringlaugh of those who witnessed the scene. In his morbid, suffering statetheir voices seemed those of mocking demons.
The night had now fallen. He was too tired and discouraged to look anyfurther. Wearily he plodded up the street, facing the bitter blastfilled with snow that had begun to fall.
This then was the verdict of the world--"Starve!" This was the onlyprospect it offered--that same brave world which had so smilinglybeckoned him on to great achievements and unbounded success but a fewdays since--"Starve!" Every blast that swept around the corners howledin his ears, "Starve!" Every warmly clad person hurrying unheedinglyby seemed to say by his indifference, "Starve! who cares? there is noplace for you, nothing for you to do."
The hard, stern resolution of the past few days, not to yield an inch,to persist in hewing his way through every difficulty, began to flag.His very soul seemed crushed within him. Even upon the threshold ofhis life, in his strong, joyous youth, the world had become to himwhat it literally was that night, a cold, wintry, stormy place, witha black, lowering sky and hard, frozen earth.
His father's old temptation recurred to him with sudden and greatpower. "Perhaps father was right," he mused. "God was against him, andis also against me, his son. Does He not visit the iniquity of thefathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation? Notbut that He will save us at last, if we ask Him, but there seems somegreat wrong that must be severely punished here. Or else if God doesnot care much about our present life, thinking only of the hereafter,there must be some blind fate or luck that crushes some and lifts upothers."
Thus Dennis, too sad and morbid to take a just view of anything, ploddedon till he reached his boarding-place, and stealing in as if he hadno business to be there, or anywhere else, sat down in a dusky cornerbehind the stove, and was soon lost to surrounding life in his ownmiserable thoughts.