"Please, Josh." My breath came in steady, short spurts, and my head felt dizzy from it all.
I cried out as he pushed a second and then third finger inside of me, all the while teasing me from behind with the warm, slick tip of his cock. I'd never had anal sex, but I found myself pushing against the pressure of his cock as it wedged against the tight puckered hole. My pulse raced at the thought of him penetrating me in every intimate way. I knew I'd never say no to Joshua. I wanted him, all of him.
"Tell me it's always been me, Rebel. Tell me there's not ever been anyone else. Just me."
His fingers dipped into the wetness as his cock pushed against me. "Tell me, Rebel, Rebel. Tell me what I need to hear."
"It's you, Josh. It's always been you. Since I can remember, it's always been you."
I moaned in disappointment as he withdrew his fingers and pulled his cock from between the cheeks of my ass. My legs shook from pushing against him. Then he nudged my feet even farther apart. I nearly lost my grip on the counter as he pulled my ass out farther. He thrust his cock into my pussy, and his hands spread my ass wide. He teased the tight puckered hole with his thumb, using the precum left behind by his cock as a lubricant.
My body trembled. The sensations started deep in my pussy and then unfurled into a long, shuddering orgasm.
"Josh! Oh, Joshua!"
I braced myself against the counter as he pumped into me, each movement growing more urgent until his groan echoed off the kitchen wall. He held me hard against him as he came.
My arms and legs were shaking as if I'd done a thousand push-ups. I turned into his arms and let him hold me up. I kissed his mouth. "I thought you were going to give me my first anal sex experience."
"You're not quite ready for that." He swept me into his arms and carried me out to the bed. "But we could have a lot of fun prepping you for that if you're up for it." He lowered me onto the bed.
I scooted over to make room for him. I hopped up on my elbow and ran my fingers along his chest. "I don't think I'd say no to anything if you're the one suggesting it." I reached up and pushed his hair back off his face. "Because it's all true, Josh. It's always been you. Even when I knew I could never have you, I figured at least I'd have you in my life." I lowered my mouth to his. "It's always been you, Butthead."
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled my mouth down to his.
Chapter 24
Joshua
I stood in the mirror and used my fingers to comb out my wet hair. Rebecca had turned on the radio, and I sang along with Mick to Wild Horses. I thought about how appropriate the song's lyrics sounded. Dylan, the past, the whole fucking world could tell me this was wrong, but nothing had ever felt so right. Rebecca and I had fallen into each other's lives and arms so naturally. It was impossible for me to come up with a reason why we shouldn't be together.
Rebecca knocked politely before poking her head into the bathroom.
I laughed. "Are you the shy, coy girl, or the beautiful woman I just had bent over the kitchen counter?"
"Well, in that case." She walked into the tiny bathroom and stood behind me. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my wet shoulder. "I was listening to you sing Wild Horses and I was falling in love with you all over again."
Her confession stunned me. I gazed at her reflection in the mirror as she reached past my arm for a brush. She began brushing my hair.
"I always thought you should be the singer in the band. Or maybe that was because I only saw you when your band was practicing. I used to sit on that old, rat chewed couch Evan had in his garage and I'd pretend to be listening to the band, but I could only hear and see you. To me, even standing in that cluttered, hot garage, you were a rock star."
She smoothed her hand over the hair she'd just brushed and put the brush down on the sink. I turned to face her. "And I always knew you were there. Sometimes you were an annoying brat, a cute little shadow that just happened to always be nearby. Then I watched you grow up, and I thought, some lucky fucking guy is going to land Rebecca. Some lucky asshole is going to get to hear her laugh in the middle of a funny movie. Some lucky undeserving jerk is going to see her face first thing every morning. Some lucky guy is going to get to have Rebel in his arms any time he wants."
Her eyes grew glassy but she smiled. "You forgot one. I make really good guacamole." She took hold of my hand and led me out of the bathroom.
"Shouldn't I at least get dressed?" I asked.
"Nope. This guacamole tastes even better in the nude." She patted the kitchen chair for me to sit and then circled around to her chair.
"Then shouldn't you be naked?" I looked pointedly at her panties and bra.
She picked up a chip and dipped it into the avocado. "No, I meant it tastes better to me when I can look across the table at a naked you." She pushed the chip into her mouth.
I grabbed a chip and did the same. "Hmm. You're right. I have to add excellent guacamole maker to the list of traits." I drank from the bottle of beer she'd opened for me. "I'll probably regret asking this, but you mentioned you nearly married someone in Europe?"
She wiped some guacamole off her bottom lip with her pinky. "Yes. Peter was handsome and fashionable and successful, considering he was only twenty-six."
"See, I knew I'd regret it, and yet, I let my big mouth fall open with the question." I picked up the beer again.
"You didn't let me finish. And Peter was vain, and too serious, and frankly, he was kind of boring in bed."
I grabbed another chip. "I like him already. But you let it get all the way to an engagement."
Rebecca shrugged and sat back with her beer. "Had the dress picked and everything. I was young. I was still feeling so lost, so ungrounded, and Peter offered some stability. Plus he had this adorable little summer house near a lake in France."
"Well, I don't have one of those. But I do have a house." I sat forward. "If you ever want to come back to Camden Beach, you could work at the bar."
She laughed and covered her mouth to keep from spitting out beer. She caught her breath. "That sounds like a terrible idea. You'd be my boss."
I nodded. "You're right. Don't know what I was thinking. I guess I just want you near me, Rebel."
She stared down at the beer bottle, picking at the label. The smile had evaporated from her face. "I can't, Josh. I can't ever go back there." Some of the pink had left her face as she lifted her gaze to me. "I'm sorry. I know your whole life is there but I can't go back."
"I understand," I said, but was still trying to understand.
She hopped up from the chair. "Another beer?" It was obvious that Camden Beach was a topic she preferred to avoid.
"Sure."
Rebecca returned with a beer. Instead of sitting on her own chair, she sat on my lap. She reached forward and scooped a chip and fed it to me.
I swallowed and smiled up at her. "Best fucking guacamole I've ever eaten."
Chapter 25
Rebecca
I looked at the time on my computer. Three more minutes in hell and then straight into heaven, namely Joshua's arms.
The wheels on Dustin's chair squeaked as he poked his face around the divider. "Kate and I are going to try out that new Italian place on the corner."
"That sounds fun. So things are going well?"
Dustin shrugged but then his smile showed it all. "Yeah. Things are good." His smile turned into a stiff straight line. "Ugh, here she comes," he muttered before rolling back to his desk.
Irene click-clacked past my cubicle. She'd gone on a huge tirade about a mistake on one of the pie charts I'd made for her. Apparently, I'd flipped the numbers, giving the office a negative balance for the month. The entire office watched in horror as she berated me. I just sat with my hand on the desk drawer, ready to clean out my belongings. After calling me every name from the professional bully's handbook, she clacked out of the cubicle so hard, her heels left little moon shaped crescents in the floor. But she never fired me. I almost wished she had.
I'd felt extra stupid about the mistake and scolded myself for letting my head get so clouded with thoughts of Joshua. I was losing focus at work. But then I'd pulled out the file with Irene's original data and discovered that she had made the mistake. Not me. I decided to let her know.
I grabbed the file with her reversed numbers, stood up from my chair and followed her sharp steps with some of my own. "Excuse me, Irene."
Irene stopped. I couldn't hear the frustrated sigh, but I could definitely see it as her bony shoulders lifted and fell. She spun around. "What is it, Rebecca? I'm on my way out."
After the ugly scene in my cubicle, curious faces turned our direction. I had no doubt Dustin was craning his neck to hear the conversation just past his cubicle. "Uh, I just wanted to point out something on your numbers." I opened the manila folder and pointed to the numbers I'd taken the time to highlight. "If you'll notice here and here, you had the numbers backwards on your data sheet. I created the charts directly from your numbers."
Her nostrils were wider than usual, and I could have sworn her perfume grew stronger, almost like the scent of an angry beast trying to warn off enemies. She plucked the folder from my hand and turned sharply on her heels. She marched toward the elevator without a word. Not even the glimmer of an apology.
"My god, she is the worst person on the planet," Dustin muttered from behind the partition.
The elevator dinged. Irene shot a sideways glance my direction. I waved politely with a grin. A grin that grew into a smile when Joshua stepped out of the elevator. Irene froze and gave him a disapproving scowl as he walked past her. Joshua nodded and smiled back at her.
He walked toward me. Irene had disappeared into the elevator by the time he reached me. "I think I just had a run in with Cruella."
I took his hand. "Could you sense the villainy as you walked past? Wait until you hear about my day. She really took herself to the top of the awful people chart today. I just need to get my stuff." I led him back to my cubicle, but Dustin's chair shot out to block our path.
Dustin raised a brow. "Uh huh, so this is who has you so distracted."
Joshua stuck out his hand. "How do you do? I'm Josh, and you must be Rebecca's friend, Dustin."
Dustin had to work hard to not smile. "Yes, that's right. And, as her friend, I like to make sure she's keeping good company."
"O.K., Dad," I said. "We're off to the county fair. I'll bring you back a bag of cotton candy. Pink or blue?"
"Blue," Dustin said, temporarily breaking out of his severe dad impersonation.
"Hey, I see you're a Led Zeppelin fan." Joshua took note of the framed concert ticket and flyer Dustin had purchased on Ebay. "Jimmy Page is a god to me. I met him once. I mean I was in a crowd, but I was just five feet from him and we made eye contact so I considered that meeting him."
Dustin sat forward and his eyes lit up. "Yeah? Shit, I'd give anything just to stand in the same room with the guy." Joshua had already won him over. "Favorite song?" he blurted.
"Going to California. After Stairway, of course."
Dustin looked at me and nodded. "I'm jealous as hell but I approve."
I laughed as I swept past into my cubicle to grab my purse.
I took hold of Joshua's hand. "Good night, Dustin."
"Don't forget my cotton candy. Josh, take good care of her otherwise you'll be talking to me. And it won't just be about the Zeppelin."
"You got it."
We got to the elevator and walked inside. Joshua pulled me instantly into his arms. "I have fucking missed you, Rebel."
"It's only been three days."
"Three days too long," he said just before his mouth covered mine.
Chapter 26
Joshua
Rebecca climbed onto the ride, and I slid in next to her. The Scrambler was one of those long armed, spider shaped rides that made you dizzy and, at the same time, gave you a mild form of whiplash. But Rebecca had insisted we go on it.
We pulled the bar down over our laps. Rebecca hung her head over the side of the ride to look at the long metal arm holding our cart in place. "I sure hope the guy taking tickets isn't the person who put this ride together. He looked kind of, kind of—"
"High? And maybe we should have pondered that question before we climbed onto this rickety looking ride."
She wrapped her arm around mine. "Where's your sense of adventure?"
"I think we have different definitions for adventure. To me—adventure is hiking up a mountain or rafting down a river. Getting thrown through a fair crowd trapped in a rusty ride car is not adventure."
Rebecca kissed my cheek. "I'm glad you thought of this. I haven't been to the fair in such a long time."
"Me neither. It's somehow smaller and less overwhelming now that I'm a grown up." The start to the ride was stalled as the ticket guy walked around to check that everyone's bars were locked in place. He got to one car and asked the small boy sitting next to his older sister to get out. Then walked him down to the sign that showed the height limit.
"Well, I misjudged the man," Rebecca quipped. "He's more with it than I gave him credit for. But I still hope he wasn't the person who built the ride."
"I second that." My phone rang. As badly as I wanted to ignore it, I'd told Dylan to call if he needed me. "Sorry, I've got to answer this." I turned my head away from the noise out in the fairground. Unfortunately, that meant closer to Rebecca. She pretended to busy herself watching the Ferris wheel across the way.
"What's up?"
"Wasn't sure if you'd answer. What the fuck is all that noise?"
"Did you call for a reason?" I barked through the phone.
"Yeah, I did. Tory cut her thumb badly on a broken glass. I need to take her to the clinic for stitches."
"Shit. It's that bad? I'm a good hour away. Who else is around that can watch the place until I get there?"
"Helena is taking over when I leave, but you know that's not ideal. So hurry back."
"Yeah, I'll be there soon." I hung up and put the phone back into my pocket.
"I heard," Rebecca said. "We'll head out as soon as the ride ends. I guess it's kind of hard on you with me living in the city, so far from your business and home."
"The moon wouldn't be too far as long as I knew you were at the end of the journey." I placed my hand on the back of her head and brought her mouth to mine for a quick kiss. "I'm just disappointed our evening is cut short."
"Me too."
While we waited for the kid's height to be checked, Rebecca rested her head against my shoulder. She laughed. "I was just thinking about when Michelle and Dad took us here. Em and I were getting off the scary monster cars that take you through the fun house, and her sandal got caught on the edge of the car." She lifted her head and laughed again. "And the cars were on a conveyor belt that never stopped, so we both stood by in horror as the car rolled away from us with Emily's sandal dangling precariously off the side. By the time we reached one of the workers to help us, the car had disappeared back into the fun house. They had to stop the entire ride and turn on the lights, ruining, of course, the special scary effects and everyone else's ride. Poor Em was mortified as she stood there with one shoe. Everyone was skewering her with angry glares while the workers looked for the sandal."
"I think she told me that story once." I curled my fingers around hers. "I think it was when we were at a carnival, and I asked her if she wanted to ride in the fun house. Her answer was a decisive no. Then she told me about the rogue sandal story."
"I'm glad I have someone to talk to about Emily. My dad really wanted to push the memories away. While the feelings were pretty mutual when he and my mom split up, he was genuinely heartbroken about losing Michelle." She looked over at me. "Sometimes I wonder if all this would be easier if that kiss had never happened. It would feel like a cleaner start."
I hadn't expected the topic change, so I took my time responding. It was something I'd thought about too, but every time, I came back to the same conclus
ion. The kiss was just one fleeting moment in a long string of moments. Even as far back as Rebecca's sixteenth birthday, things between us were changing. My gift wasn't just some quick, last second decision. I knew I wanted her to have my Iron Maiden t-shirt because I loved her. And Emily's reaction assured me that she was slowly figuring that out too.
"Rebel, that kiss—" I shook my head. "Shit, it's a kiss I will never forget. But, for me, that kiss had happened in my head and in my heart a million times before your lips pressed against mine."
The tinny music began playing, and the ride jolted to a start. The big metal arms creaked as if they needed new bolts. Rebecca was still gazing at me.
"Joshua," she said softly, and the sound of it tightened around my heart.
Chapter 27
Joshua
It was one of those noises that woke you from a deep sleep but you couldn't make sense of what it was or where it had come from. I stretched and turned over on my bed, waiting for sleep to take hold of me again. It had been a long, crowded night in the bar. Tory was off for two weeks with her stitched thumb. Both Dylan and I had taken turns behind the bar. We knew we needed more employees, but skilled, worthwhile applicants were few and far between. Tory's injury meant Dylan and I both had to be at the bar during the busiest times, which lately seemed to be all the time.
I lifted my head and pummeled my pillow back into shape. The kitchen floor creaked just as I rested my head back down. I sat up to listen for another sound, deciding it was probably just the floor settling. The next sound was louder and sounded distinctly like someone opening the refrigerator. Apparently a hungry or thirsty thief had broken in to my house.
I put my feet on the floor, pulled on my shorts and took out the wooden bat I kept under the bed, my primitive security system. I crept down the hallway, making sure to avoid the creaky hallway floor planks. A new sound came from the kitchen. Paper rustling. I lifted the bat and rounded the corner, ready to break a skull.