I don't know what it is about this morning, but I know there is something I must do today as soon as we are done trying on these damn bridesmaid dresses. I have to talk to Kyle.
Michelle and I are the ones here, since Jenna will be with the girls all day, and we are to be the Guinea pigs, trying on basically everything Elena likes that comes from off the rack in all our sizes. I feel like a white trash model trying to fit in on a New York runway, and it ain't one bit funny, even though Michelle is cracking the fuck up about it.
I glare at her but say nothing since I am trying to keep the bridezilla calm, which she totally is not. She is under a lot of stress, with the women having come in, and combining the clubs. She is losing more members than she wanted to in her sacrifice, and it is tearing her up inside. I can tell it is. She has such a big heart, and that can be dangerous for a person, I should know.
“It's okay, Daisy, I know this isn’t working," Elena says, putting her head in her hands while cringing in her seat. Michelle stops laughing, and we both go over to her.
"I don’t know a lot about this weddin' stuff, but I know the crying is supposed to be reserved for certain moments. I don't think this is one of them," I tell her, sitting on the arm of the chair she is in and placing my hand on her back. "Look, I know what you are set on. Why don’t you give me just a few minutes, and I will go look again," I offer. Elena wants us in green dresses. Green is her favorite color, and I know the day won’t be complete without that. I need to find her something beautiful, though, and the couple of green dresses we have tried on have been the puke green like Reed's joke, or a dark hunter which just looks way too dark for a wedding.
Elena nods, but I see no confidence in her when she does. I am not letting a wedding feel like such a damn tragedy. Elena marrying Reed is supposed to be a happy time, and I am going to make sure it is.
I remember the picture I saw of the dress she showed me that her best friend has as the maid of honor, and I am looking for dresses on the rack that compare to the color, at least, regardless of the size. If I can find something close, then maybe I can convince Michelle to do some quick alterations on the dresses. I have seen her sew some things before; blankets and some designs on shirts, and a few patches even. Maybe she can do it.
Sure enough, I spot a light emerald number that comes down to the knee. It ties at the waist and had a beautiful sweetheart neckline. The size is right for me but a little big for Michelle and Jenna. I grab them anyway, running them over to the dressing room like a woman on a mission, yanking Michelle in with me.
I quickly strip out of the ugly blue poof ball I am wearing and slip on the green dress and watch how it hugs me. It is beautiful. "Michelle, do you think you can alter a dress?" I ask quietly, not wanting to get Elena’s attention just yet.
"I probably can, why?" Michelle asks. I shoot her a look like she needs a stupid sign on her forehead. This girl is irritating me today, and it doesn’t help that I am somehow becoming easier to irritate.
"These dresses are perfect but a little big for you and Jenna."
Michelle looks me over like she’s checking me out, and I can't help but giggle as she says, "You do look fuckin' hot, bet I will too. Yeah, I'll figure it out. Show her the dress." Michelle pushes me out into the open, and I pose like a chick in a magazine, making Elena smile.
"What about this?" I ask her, twirling around and making a big deal.
"It's great, but it’s not in all the right sizes.
Michelle pops out in her regular clothes already like she was Superman changing back into Clark Kent.
"I'll take care of it. Don’t you tell me you don’t like it," Michelle scolds.
Elena nods. "I love it."
***
I find Kyle outside, smokin' a ciggy with one hand and knocking back a bottle of Jack with the other. Normally, seeing him like this doesn’t bother me. It is almost his natural state, expect for the permanent frown that has now made its scar on his otherwise beautiful fuckin' face. Just because he isn't my ride or die anymore, doesn't mean I can’t appreciate the way he looks when he is happy. It hurts the most because it seems, despite what he may have had coming to him all these years, I have done this to him. I am hurting him every day I don’t choose to start things with him again, and I know that. I accept that. I need him to accept it too, accept it and give me hope that there will be a day he wakes up and won’t brood over seeing his good friend with his ex.
"Shouldn’t you be inside with Seamus, talking all about the shit you tried on today?" he quips as I approach. I take a stance right in front of him, with my hand on my hip.
"Don’t be a fuckin' ass. I came to talk to you, okay?" I say, not fuckin' around. I want to make this as right and clear as I can, but I can’t do that if he’s gonna to be the asshole, tough guy right now.
"What is it that you have to say to me you ain't already said in front of the whole fuckin' club, Dais?" he asks, finally looking directly at me. He looks tired and aged in a way I didn’t expect.
"You have a right to feel a loss and be hurting a little, Kyle, but you don’t have a right to be pissed at me. No matter your excuse for running off, you still did it. You did it for a long fuckin' time, and I changed, I healed without you. I am still healing without you, and I am sorry if that is hard to see and hear. But I need you to listen because I have something so damn important to say, and I don’t think I will have the courage to say it again."
I feel like I am giving him a lecture, but I guess, in a way, I am. I relax my stance as he nods. "Okay, Dais."
"I will always love you, Kyle. I know better than to deny that part of my heart, but I will never be able to trust you again. You need to let me go and let me be happy with Seamus. He makes me so happy, Kyle." I take a deep breath and blow it out, feeling like I got the world off my chest. I fight a tear that dares try to come out of my eye as I wait for the man that was once the love of my life to say something.
"Your happiness is all I have ever wanted for you," he says in a husky voice. That is enough for me.
"Thank you." I walk away before he can say anything else. I know he will probably spend the rest of the day drinking, and I want to spend the rest of the day doing something productive to get my mind off it all. I guess I can help with the Russian girls. It’s not my job, but knowing how they got here, they can use all the support they can get.
I knock on the door where I know Jenna will be with a few of the girls, including the one I was told was drugged to make it here and a girl named Galina who spoke better English than the rest.
Jenna opens the door, and I can see she has one of her dogs, Maximus, in there for the girls to pet. The one that had been drugged before, a girl known as Ksenia, even smiled as the dog came up to lick her and be petted.
"Girls, this is Daisy. She is a bartender," Jenna says slowly. Other than Galina, there is little knowledge of English, and we are kinda counting on Dmitri to help bridge that gap, though, there has been some strange whispers about him since the girls were picked up. I am not in the loop and unsure if I want to be. The men have a habit of keeping secrets form us women but for good reason, I’m sure.
I sit down on the floor, trying not to make any sudden movements when Galina reaches out to get the dog to come to her. As she does, I can see scars on her wrists, the exact kind that I had once upon a time. I don’t know whether to scream or cry for her.
"Galina, is it?" I say gently, and she looks up at me shyly. It is my understanding that it has been explained to them many times that they will be safe here, and the men will not touch them; that their lives are going to get better with no one running them, but many of them are still either traumatized or trying to serve every man they see. They know nothing else.
Galina nods but nothing more. "Your wrists," I say, holding out mine to be sure she knows what I mean, "are they burned, or electricity?" I wasn't sure how to communicate it to her. She spoke in an understandable way, but still knew little of the English language compared to
even Maria.
Galina pushes her straight black locks out of her face. "Da, pain with shock. It was punishment sometimes. Did to Ksenia too, but she fights so much. They must do much more to her."
Ksenia seems to ignore the statement, preoccupied with the dog again. I am not sure if she just doesn’t understand or doesn’t care to talk about it right now. I look to Galina. "There were some men once who did that to me," I tell Galina, hoping she gets the gist. I want her to see that it will be okay one day. "It is okay now, see?" I scoot a little closer and show her my wrists so she can see that there is no scaring anymore. It has faded back into my skin tone. Most of my outside scars have.
Galina surprisingly takes my hands and looks them over, turning them every which way with shock and hope on her face. I think I am going to be able to make an impact here. Maybe it will help me too.
***
I go into our room after a long day, feeling satisfied at my good deeds for the day, but also exhausted. I find myself seeking out one of those big tees in his drawer, enjoying his smell as well as the comfort of the soft fabric on my skin. I lay down on my stomach, ready to relax, when the door opens, and I know who has come in. He is the only one that comes in without knocking unless someone hears us fighting, like the other night.
I can't stay pissed at him about Pain even though I want to. It’s something I will have to wear all the men down on as time goes on. Instead, I wait for him to slide into the bed next to me, to give him a tired grunt as he kisses my head and down my neck.
"Long day, Dais?" he asks in that familiar voice of his. I don’t know how I mistook it for Kyle's before, probably because I always expect it to be Sea behind me or beside me at all times. I don’t know what I will do if we don’t make the cut long term.
I nod into the pillow my face is now in as he starts to massage me with those big, capable hands of his, rubbing the kinks out of my neck and upper back so that I relax into a pile of mush. I roll over and smile groggily at him, looking into those eyes I love so damn much. "Thank you for that. Looking for the perfect bridesmaids’ dresses is no easy task, apparently," I say with a little giggle.
“Well, at least you get a little sneak peek of what it's like, you know, for future reference”. I sit straight up, almost knocking my head into his at that statement. He has never directly mentioned anything about our future beyond staying together and fucking me hard every night before. It wasn't like he said that he meant to be the groom in that situation, but it made me perk up real damn fast.
"Who says I am getting’ married ever?" I snap at him, trying to recover quickly form my shock. He is so close, I want to just kiss him and pull him down on my body, but I also don’t want to ruin whatever moment we might be having.
"It would be a damn shame to leave a woman like you free and single the rest of your life," Sea responds with a sparkle in his eye.
"Are you drunk?" I laugh at him being a little more sentimental than I expect.
"What, you can’t tell me doing all this stuff with Elena doesn’t make you think about it a little. Besides, weren’t you going to marry..." He trails off, knowing better than to finish that sentence for the sanity of both of us. I get the feeling that behind all his anger over the way Kyle has treated me is a worry that Kyle might be right about us ending up together eventually.
"To answer the one good question you asked," I begin, sliding up onto his lap. "Yes, I suppose it does make me think about weddings and marriage a little, but I can’t say I want to make such a big deal. I mean, I want it to be a big deal that my man is becoming my man, officially, but I don’t want a fancy dress or anything like that. I just want my vows, my family and friends, and a nice party." I slap his thigh as I finish like the period at the end of a sentence as I smile at him.
"I think I can handle that," Sea says, going for my lips.
I stop him, trying not to smirk as I tease. "I thought I told you it wasn’t clear that I was getting’ married ever. What makes you so sure if I did that it would be to you?"
Sea gets a mischievous look on his face, and I know I’ve damn done it, and I fuckin’ love it.
He pushes me off his lap and gets over me, a leg and arm on each side of me so I can barely move. "Because I am the only one who knows just how you want it and like it, Babygirl," he growls out sexily before diving into me, his lips traveling down my body, which is only covered in one of his shirts. I may have done it on purpose.
As he realizes this, pulling up the shirt to reach my navel and further down, he makes a sound like a starving animal who has just got a sniff of fresh meat. Nothing makes me wetter than how hot my ox gets for me.
His lips land against my groin, and my breathing picks up just before he makes it to that sweet spot in between my legs. Without hesitation, he spreads them apart, nuzzling into the area before his warm, wet tongue lands just where I want it to be. I arch my back at the contact, gasping for air as he flicks his tongue across my clit. It is the most torturous area for a man to mess with, especially one who knows exactly what the fuck he’s doin'. It can make me come so hard and fast and drive me to insanity waiting for it. I believe that to be true of a lot of women from what I know.
Sea laps me up, moving downwards to the true prize, letting his tongue slide inside of me. I sit up and fall back down onto the bed, grabbing the sheets in my fists. He knows this is torture. He knows what I want. If he wasn’t mouth deep in my pussy right about now, he would be laughing his ass off at what he knew he was doing to me. I want him now.
"Please," I begin to whine and beg like the horny little girl I become when Sea does things like this to me. It takes about ten minutes of that for him to crawl up my body and unzip his pants, showing me his rock-hard cock before plunging it into me. I call out, knowing full well someone is going to be able to hear. Most everyone is in their rooms at this point, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t have to hide how I love or lust after Seamus anymore. So, I call out his name as he fucks the tired out of me over and over again.
Chapter 18
Seamus
I love laying here next to my woman, feeling her skin up against mine and her lips on mine. The problem is, I know for a fact the sun has been up for some time, and I have a lot on my mind; a lot that I cannot burden this lovely brunette with.
My head keeps taking me back to when we were there to get the girls and that woman who had the message for Reed was talking to, and about, Dmitri. She seemed to know him, and I wasn’t able to catch every word because some of it was in fuckin' Russian. I don’t like the idea that we are dealing with one of the worst, most brutal criminal ring leaders in the world and they know something about a member of our MC. Not only do they know something about him, but they know him. It means there is a link there, and Dmitri's knack for being mysterious as fuck did not help to ease my mind at all that there was something to worry about. I gotta talk with him and find out what to expect.
I turn on the light in the room and begin getting dressed. I hope that I don’t wake Daisy up, but I can see she is already stirring. The idea was too good to be true. Her eyes flutter open, and I can’t help but smile down at her. Not only did we have a good romp last night, but we kinda talked about our future. It is something I have thought about but have been scared to mention in the past. I felt like we would be a secret forever sometimes until we just fell apart. Now that we are out in the open, I feel like it might be time to think about it. What does she want from me? I certainly would not mind putting a brand back on her, having her as mine. But I would never do that to her unless she wanted it, knowing what she went through with the last person who tatted her and claimed her.
"Good morning," Dais says, stretching and looking up at me, kicking off the blanket so that I see her body in its full glory. Even as I get my pants on, knowing I must do this now before shit hits the fan, my cock stands at attention for her, looking up at me like that.
"Good morning, Babygirl," I say, pulling on my shirt and then my boots. I can't be conv
inced to stay, and the more I talk to her the more likely it is she will get me back in our bed.
"What’s the rush?" she asks in her sultry morning voice, her hair a hot mess behind her.
"I have some MC business, Babygirl. I am sorry, but I gotta get outta here. You have a shift at the bar today, don't you?"
"Mmhmm," she answers, and I walk over to her, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "Hurry back!" she calls after me as I walk out and close the door behind me. My mind immediately gets off of her and onto Dmitri and the shit show that is dealing with the Russians. I never expected to find a bunch of young girls, ready to be our slaves, shipped in a damn box.
I go to Dmitri's door and knock, but I am greeted by a loud barking. Shit, I forgot that Jenna and her two dogs were in there with him. It is her that answers the door in her pj's, and I immediately go into an apology. "So sorry, I need to talk with Dmitri. Tell him to meet me outside in five." Jenna nods, not looking like she can’t do much more. These club women are not morning people, are they?
I make my way outside, pacing back and forth until Dmitri finally joins me. "Da?" he asks, and I have come to learn it means yes. He is asking me what I want.
"Look, I don’t want to start any trouble, but all of this shit with the Russians is bad enough. It can get us in some deep shit, you know? I know something was going on when we met that woman to pick the girls up. She knew you, and you must have known her. I know you don’t like to talk about your past, but I need to know, for the safety of this MC family, what the hell is going on, Dmitri?" I ask him, plain and direct. I stand my ground, only two feet away from him. If intimidation is what it takes, I am more than willing to dish it out.
"It had to do with my past, yes," Dmitri answers, his chin up in the air as if he is challenging me. "You know enough of my story to know I was dealt a raw hand as a child. But none of what was said or happened that day concerns you, Seamus. It is between me, myself, and I," he spits out.
Now that, is a sure way to piss me off. "You're denying me information that could be crucial to the safety of this damn club?" I ask him.