Crashing at my bow…
“I’d kick off my sneakers, because, well, I’m really not a Manolo sort of girl … that’s high heels to you, Hunter.”
He rolled his eyes. “I lived in Paris for six months, Caro. I have heard of Manolo Blahnik.”
“Yes, well, he’s from Spain, so there’s no need to look so superior, Sebastian.”
Secretly, I was thrilled he was playing along and had relaxed enough to be able to tease me.
“Besides,” I went on, “I can’t walk in high-heels unless I’ve got you to hang onto … but I’m not averse to wearing them in the bedroom.”
His breath caught in his throat, and his hands gripped the edge of his chair. I tried not to stare at his briefs, but that was the area I really wanted to affect. I hoped our banter would help him to relax, because I longed to feel his body—next to mine, inside mine.
I kept the smile plastered on my face and tried to sound natural and cheerful—maybe even a little bit sensual, if I could remember how.
“So, after I’ve kicked off my sneakers, I’d peel off my socks, because leaving them on just isn’t sexy, and if you ever do that, Hunter, I’ll be justified in filing for divorce—after we’re married, of course, which you keep putting off.”
He frowned slightly, so I decided to concentrate on the mission in hand, so to speak.
“I’d imagine your fingers teasing me around my waistband,” I said, mimicking my words. “And then I’d think about you unzipping my jeans and standing back while I shimmy out of them.”
His eyes followed my pants, as I slid them down my legs to the floor.
“And I’d pull off my t-shirt because I’d be feeling hot, just thinking about you touching me.”
My t-shirt followed my jeans, making a small pile.
“And then I’d touch my breasts like this, Sebastian,” I said, squeezing my breasts together and throwing my head back, “like you asked me to once before, and I’d imagine you running your hands over me and unhooking my bra, and you’d torment my nipples with your hands and your hot, sweet mouth, your tongue moving around and around me like this.”
I glanced at him, and saw that his eyes were transfixed by my breasts and—yes! There was a significant bulge in his briefs—my plan was working.
I unhooked my bra, dropped it to the floor, and then turned my back on him.
“And I’d have to climb onto the bed, just like this, Sebastian,” I said, provocatively wiggling my ass at him, as I slunk up toward the pillows.
Then I knelt up and turned around to face him. “And I’d think about how you’d toy with the lace on my panties, just like this, and how your fingers would tease me, sliding inside me, finding me all hot and wet and wanting.”
I rubbed myself inside my panties, and closed my eyes as sensation began to pulse through me, making me moan softly.
“And I’d think what it was like to feel your mouth on me, and your tongue inside me, tantalizing and torturing me, bringing on an orgasm with a flick of your tongue.”
“Fuck!” I heard him hiss.
“And I’d lie back on the bed and imagine your long, hard cock, sliding inside me, thrusting fast—really fast—and bringing on another orgasm, just like this.”
I lay back on the bed and shimmied out of my panties, then propped myself up on the pillows, pulled my knees up slightly and opened my legs.
I gazed up at him from beneath my eyelashes as I continued to touch myself. I saw him lick his lips and shift on the chair.
“And I’d wish you were with me, Sebastian, because although I’ve got a damn good imagination, I’d rather have the real thing any day.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, then looked up to meet his.
“I’m so wet for you, Sebastian. Do you want to touch me?”
He swallowed and I saw some of his anxiety return, so I closed my eyes and rubbed myself harder.
Then I heard the floorboards creak as he stood up, and felt the mattress shift as he climbed onto the bed. He hesitated for a second, and then I felt him nudge my hand out of the way, as he circled his fingers around, then pushed two inside me.
I groaned loudly when he fastened his mouth over my breast and started to tease the nipple out, sucking hard. I ran my hands over his shoulders and felt a slight tremor ripple through him. He moved over to my other breast, swirling his tongue around and over me, pulling lightly with his teeth, filling me with need.
Then his kisses trailed down my body, and I held my breath as I felt his tongue sliding inside me.
I called out his name, and he pushed my legs further apart, really working me, and I orgasmed loudly, watching as he moved up to kiss my thigh.
“Much, much better than my imagination, Sebastian!” I gasped.
He chuckled quietly.
I brushed my hands over his briefs, unable to help myself.
“Oh, you’re so hard, tesoro … I want you inside me.”
“Where are the fucking condoms, Caro,” he said, in a tight voice.
“Don’t need them: I’ve been taking the pill. Just you, Sebastian, now.”
I pushed his briefs over his hips, and fastened both hands over his erection and guided him inside me.
He groaned, a long, drawn-out sigh of pleasure.
It felt so good, stretching and filling, deep inside me. I clenched around him.
“Fuck, Caro!” he gasped.
“Don’t try and control it,” I begged him, “Just love me. Love me, Sebastian.”
He flexed his hips and began to thrust into me.
It felt so intense; we were so intimately connected, joined together, man and woman, moving as one body, one soul, one purpose.
He cried out and shuddered, pouring himself inside me, filling me with his love and trust, bringing us together again.
When he’d finished, he rested between my thighs, his face buried in my neck, his breath still coming in gasps. I stroked his back and told him I loved him.
Eventually he pulled out and curled up next to me: I could feel his cheeks were wet with tears.
“Are you okay?” I said, quietly.
He nodded without speaking, and then he opened his eyes and smiled at me.
“Very okay, Caro. I’m very okay.”
And we held each other without the need to speak again.
After that, the dam holding back our intimacy had been breached, and Sebastian’s mind started to heal as well as his body.
There was something I had to ask him, and I didn’t know if it was going to be a good idea or not.
We were slumped together on the sofa, drinking herbal tea just before going to bed. I didn’t really enjoy the thin, bitter liquid, but caffeine made Sebastian jumpy.
“Sebastian, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, baby,” he said, running his hand down my arm, and twining his fingers with mine.
“Well, I was wondering … what are your nightmares about?”
I felt him tense immediately, and regretted my question.
“It’s hard to talk about, Caro,” he said, his voice low and quiet.
“It’s okay—you don’t have to tell me.”
“I just don’t want you to have that shit in your head.”
“Sebastian, you wake up screaming every night—it doesn’t have to be me, but I think you need to tell someone.”
“I’m not seeing a fucking shrink,” he said, testily.
I didn’t reply.
We sat silently, staring out of the windows, watching the horizon growing paler as the sun sank behind the sea.
And then he began to speak.
“I can’t tell you everything, Caro, because it’s classified, and you can’t report any of this.”
“Of course not!”
I was hurt that he’d even think that.
“Sorry, baby, I had to say it.” He sighed. “We were in Now Zad in the first place to make contact with someone—a local guy—who was going to get us to one of the Taliban leaders—so we
could take him out. That’s why they wanted me there, because they were worried about using local interpreters for a sensitive op. It was supposed to be a small patrol, just the 14 of us, with Jankowski in charge. At the last minute, Grant was told we had to take these two guys from the Afghan National Army with us. He wasn’t happy, but he got overruled. We headed out into the mountains for what we thought would be three or four days, but we didn’t get that far. When we got to the village for the meet, we knew right away that something was wrong—it was just too damn quiet. There was nobody in the fields, no one sitting outside their houses. We were all on edge.
“I went ahead with the ANA guys and they were calling out for the man we were supposed to meet. Then this guy came out from behind one of the buildings and he was talking really fast, and he looked fucking terrified. I realized he was quoting from the Koran and I knew then he’d been turned into a human fucking bomb. I yelled at everyone to get back, but then I felt like I’d been punched in the shoulder and I realized I’d been shot. One of the ANA guys had tried to take me out, then shot his colleague and turned his rifle on the rest of the squad. The firefight started, and I could hear Jankowski yelling at the contact to get down. Mark and Jez came running over to help me—and that’s when the bomb was detonated.”
Sebastian swallowed and closed his eyes.
“The Afghan contact was just pink mist: Jankowski, Mark and Jez were caught in the blast. If Jez hadn’t been so close to me, I’d have been killed, too, but he took it for me.”
Sebastian’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“I had pieces of Jez all over me. That’s what I dream about.”
His hands were shaking and his breathing had become shallow.
“I understand, I do, tesoro,” I murmured, gently stroking his cheek. “When I was in Iraq … it was the sound of the helicopters; they were bringing in wounded and I saw … I saw. But I don’t have that nightmare anymore, Sebastian, because my worst nightmare is losing you.”
I held him tightly, because that was all I could do.
Two days later, just as he was finishing his exercises, a sheen of sweat making his body glisten in a way that made my mouth water, I decided it was time to take a further step into the world.
“How do you feel about another challenge, Sebastian?”
He glanced over at me and smiled. “Sounds interesting. Does this one involve leaving the bedroom?”
I grinned at him. “Yes, it does, but now you’ve got me thinking other things, Hunter, and my once pristine thoughts are getting a little dirty.”
“How dirty?” he said, his eyes heating under my gaze.
I stood with my hands on my hips and looked him in the eye.
“Very dirty.”
He groaned. “Why didn’t you say that before I did that damn workout, Caro?”
I laughed. “Rain check until tonight, Hunter. It’s a beautiful day, we should be outside.”
He nodded his agreement, then lifted my hand to his lips, brushing soft, sweet kisses over the tip of each finger.
“Yeah, okay. I need to see Atash anyway. He’s got some problem with immigration that he wants me to look into.”
Atash was the name of one of the Afghan men from the café and, against the odds, he and Sebastian had become friends. Atash’s family had been forced to leave their village near Lashkar Gah in Helmand province and were lost and alone in a new country. Being useful to them brought Sebastian back to life, day by day. And day by day, it brought him back to me.
I wasn’t sure if he and Sebastian had bonded over baseball or because Sebastian was probably the only other person in all of Long Beach who spoke his language. But most days they found an excuse to meet up. And once Sebastian had started helping Atash and his family with their legal status, they spent even more time together.
Atash was shy about coming to our home so, mostly, Sebastian walked over to see him. I was glad he had a reason to leave the bungalow, and one that was completely separate from our life together. He needed it, and I think he knew that.
“So, if you’re not talking about sex, Caro,” he prompted me, “what’s this ‘challenge’ that you’re on about?”
“I want you to meet my friends. I miss them, and they really want to meet you.”
His gaze dropped to the floor.
“Okay, I guess it’s time.”
He didn’t look thrilled by the idea, but he didn’t object either.
I spoke to Nicole first.
“He’s doing much better now, and I’d like you to meet him. We want to invite you over this weekend.”
“Oh, he’s finally going to let you see the light of day, is he, Lee?”
I was taken aback.
“That’s … harsh. He’s been ill, Nic.”
I could sense her indignant and judgmental silence on the other end of the line.
“Okay,” she said, rather reluctantly. “Yes, of course I’ll be there. Do you want me to talk to Jenna and Alice?”
“No, that’s fine,” I said, trying to keep my tone neutral and the hurt I felt out of my voice. “I should make the calls. Come for lunch?”
As Saturday approached, I threw myself into a frenzy of cooking. I’d dragged Sebastian all over Long Beach to get the ingredients I wanted. He was beginning to look much more like himself. Although he was still very slender, he was beginning to pile the muscle weight back on. His hair was longer than I was used to seeing it, turning into a crazy, blond mop.
“Thought I’d grow it for a while,” he said, casually.
“Fine by me,” I grinned, tugging a lock in my hand.
Day by day, he was looking more like the surfer boy I’d fallen in love with. He still had bad days and some very bad nights, and he was still in a considerable amount of pain from the shrapnel wounds in his thigh. But on good days he was able to walk without a cane, although he still had a significant limp.
“I spoke to Ches while you were out,” he said casually.
“You did?”
I was pleased that he’d finally gotten around to talking to his friend—but nervous about what had been said: particularly about me.
“And?”
“He said he and Amy would fly out for our wedding.”
I caught my breath and stared at him.
“If you still want to marry me, Caro?”
The small stone of grief that I’d been carrying in my heart melted away.
“Of course I do, Sebastian. I … I thought you’d changed your mind.”
He shook his head slowly, his eyes full of love.
“Never that, Caro, but I didn’t want to marry you if … if I couldn’t be a man … with you. And I promised myself I wouldn’t be using a fucking stick when I walked down the aisle.”
“They don’t have aisles in City Hall,” I said, somewhere between a laugh and a sob.
He gathered me into his arms and rocked me slowly, repeatedly kissing my hair.
“So what else did Ches say?” I mumbled into his chest.
I was pleased that I’d managed to get the words out without sounding too pathetically shaky.
“He said that he’d decided if he still hadn’t heard from me by Labor Day, he was going to come out here and kick my ass himself.”
“Good idea,” I agreed with a murmur, “he should do that anyway. Did he say anything about me?”
Sebastian smiled.
“I guess he was surprised—and pleased, I think—that you hadn’t kicked me out. He’s cool, Caro, don’t worry about him.”
“And Amy?”
“Oh, she just wants to kick my ass, period.”
I smiled. “I think I’ll get along with her.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” muttered Sebastian.
He was only half joking.
He held my face gently and looked into my eyes.
“Just promise me you won’t turn into one of those bat-shit crazy women about the whole wedding thing, Caro.”
“Such sweet nothings you
whisper,” I teased him. “Don’t worry, Sebastian, that’s not my style.” I slapped his chest. “I don’t care if I get married in jeans.”
“Jeans?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
“Well, my favorite jeans,” I replied, with a challenging stare.
“Okay, jeans. Cool.”
Sebastian was nervous about meeting my friends, understandably, perhaps. I tried to reassure him, but he felt they’d be judging him: he was undoubtedly right.
He looked delicious in a white t-shirt and blue jeans, and, with his bare feet jammed into a pair of flip-flops, he looked like he’d just strolled off the beach. Except for the fact that when he walked, he still had a pronounced limp.
I heard Nicole’s car pull up and I leaned out of the window, waving excitedly. I pretended not to hear Sebastian murmur, “Incoming.”
I ran out of the door, and Alice leapt on me first, hugging me tightly.
“Oh my God! It’s so good to see you, Lee!”
“You’ve lost weight, beotch!” yelled Nicole, grappling me around the waist, and smearing a lipstick kiss onto my cheek.
“I’ve brought chocolate and champagne,” sang Jenna, flinging her arms around me.
And then Nicole shrieked.
“Omigod! Omigod! Is that what I think it is?”
She grabbed my left hand and stared at my engagement ring. There were loud gasps and shocked looks from Alice and Jenna.
I nodded.
“You guys are all invited to a wedding in the Fall,” I said, quietly.
At that, there were loud shrieks and cries of congratulations, plus a few tears. They all hugged me again but I was growing uncomfortable, aware that Sebastian would be watching, and waiting for us to come in.
“When did this happen?” said Alice, grabbing my hand again to look at the ring.
“That’s a nice piece of rock, Venzi,” murmured Nicole. “But are you sure about this? I mean right now, the way everything is…”
“I’ll tell you all about it later. Just be … cool, okay?”
“Well, come on,” said Nicole, rather tersely, “let’s meet the paragon.”
“Nic!” I said, my voice warning.
She held up her hands. “I’ll be good.”
Which didn’t fill me with hope.