I was now completely lost. My footsteps echoed around me, making me feel more alone and more secret than I should. I reached a door and pushed quietly through, finding myself on an outdoor balcony that wrapped around the building. The sky had a strange, warm hue to it, which made me feel warm and alive.
I followed the balcony around, running my fingers along the stone balustrade. Soft voices drifted to me. They sounded very high and very sweet, and they made me curious so I kept walking. Some part of me didn’t want to be spotted; not as the outsider.
As I reached a corner the voices grew so that I knew they were just on the other side.
‘… not without beauty,’ said a soft, deep voice I recognised as Ava’s. ‘Sailors often wish for the sea to be their graves.’
‘Wouldn’t it be lonely?’ asked the voice of a child – a little girl.
‘No, because all the other souls would be there to keep them company,’ Ava replied.
‘Is the sea full of souls then?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘King Thorne?’ the girl asked, making my heart lurch. ‘Is he in the sea?’
‘I don’t know, my darling. Maybe he is. Or maybe he is north in the ice. Perhaps he preferred the warm earth beneath this fortress. We cannot know where he wished to go.’
‘But is he happy, Mama?’
‘Do you know how he died?’
‘He was poisoned,’ came the answer.
‘Do you know why?’
There was a confused pause. ‘No, Mama.’
I couldn’t help it then – I had to turn the corner just an inch to see. There was a regal looking statue in this new section of the balcony, but I couldn’t see its face. Sprawled on the ground below it were three figures. Two of them were very small children who wore identical faces. Twin girls, I realised. The princesses. Their mother was lying next to them, and all three were immersed in charcoal drawings on large pieces of parchment.
Ava’s long blonde hair was splayed out over the stone beneath her, and her purple eyes were focused on the lines she was scribbling. Her daughters were equally as focused on their drawings, but kept looking up at their mother, waiting for her answer. They couldn’t have been much older than six or seven.
‘Someone wanted to hurt him,’ Ava said eventually, her voice sounding odd. ‘A man. He sent the poison to King Thorne’s room. That poison is called prylene. It is a strange concoction. When you smell it, you want to drink it more than anything.’
‘Why?’
‘Its properties are beguiling. On this day, when the prylene was sent to King Thorne, his wife Roselyn was in the same room.’
‘Aunty Rose!’ both the girls cried in excitement.
Ava smiled sadly, and I was startled to see the cracks in that smile. She wore a broken smile just like my da did.
‘Yes, Aunty Rose. This was a long time ago, when she was much younger and when she lived here in the fortress.’
‘I wish she lived here with us now,’ one of the girls sighed.
‘So do I, darling. In any case, when the prylene was uncovered, Rose and Thorne both smelt the deadly poison. Now, King Thorne was no normal young man. He had been taught at a very young age to survive the smell of prylene, just as Da had.’
‘Who taught them?’
‘Their mother – your grandmother.’
I was very curious about what they had been told in regard to their evil barbarian queen of a grandmother. The girls simply nodded as though they knew exactly whom Ava was talking about.
‘So Thorne knew the scent, but unlike everyone else he could withstand its pull. Rose, on the other hand, had no defence. She was overcome with the need to drink the poison. King Thorne, seeing this, stole the poison from her clutches and did the only thing he could think of to save his wife – he drank the poison himself, so she could not get to it.’
There was a long silence as the girls concentrated on their drawings.
I felt like I could not breathe. I had never heard this story before, and now I felt pulled back into another time, another room, another life. In my mind I watched King Thorne kill himself to save his wife. And every part of me ached.
I’d thought, rather naively, that I had understood love. But I hadn’t even come close. In Kaya we said that we loved more than anyone else. We thought that we loved bigger and lost bigger.
But that was no truth. The only truth in our lives was that we were blind and arrogant and foolish. Here in the north, where the sky was red and the ground was frozen, they loved just as hard as we did. The only difference was that they used that love to make them stronger, braver, instead of letting it ruin them.
‘So he was happy,’ one of the girls murmured, and the delicate awareness of it made my eyes fill with tears and when I blinked they spilled silently down my cheeks.
‘He saved Rose,’ the other girl agreed. I watched their mother reach out and stroke both of their faces in turn. As she looked at her daughters her eyes changed to blue, a lovely deep shade.
‘A brave, noble way to die,’ Ava told the girls, then went back to her drawing.
I tried to gather myself, feeling overwrought. I couldn’t possibly reveal myself while I blubbered like this.
While I steeled myself, footsteps sounded from the other direction and I saw a very tall man round the corner. He strode towards the woman and her girls, and as he drew closer I felt my eyes widen. He was gorgeous. Like, I’d-leave-my-bondmate-for-a-single-kiss gorgeous. Like, I-might-as-well-go-blind-now-that-I-have-seen-the-most-beautiful-thing-in-the-world gorgeous. He was taller than Thorne, leaner and more elegant. His face was cut and lined in a very severe way. A long scar cut through his forehead and eyebrow. His features were finer than Thorne’s were, but his eyes were the same shade of pale blue, maybe a little deeper, and all of that together made it pretty obvious who he must be.
King Ambrose strode to his family and sank to the ground beside them.
‘You’re late, Da,’ one of the girls told him mildly without looking up. The other little girl looked up long enough to draw a streak of charcoal along her father’s cheek, then grinned and got back to her work.
‘And you’re unforgiving as ever, my darlings,’ he told them wryly. ‘Your ma has had me running around dealing with everything while she skips off to Araan and then spends the afternoon drawing with you two!’
They didn’t reply, so he leant down and pulled them both into a hug, kissing them noisily on their cheeks and making them giggle. When he finally let them go, they scolded him to behave himself and sank back to their art.
The King turned to his wife. She looked at him with arched eyebrows and he raised his hands in defence. ‘I have a good reason, I swear.’
‘Quick then, before I lose patience.’
‘You haven’t had a speck of patience in your whole life,’ he pointed out.
‘I had plenty before I met you, actually.’
Ambrose grinned and flipped her onto her back, pinning her arms on either side of her head. ‘I don’t believe that for a second,’ he told her, dropping kisses all over her face.
‘Get off, you ugly oaf!’ she demanded, which only made him more gleeful to have her pinned down. She struggled in what was clearly a futile mission – the man outweighed her by at least three times as much – but then I saw her knee jerk up and catch him in the stomach. Ambrose groaned and rolled off her. Ava laughed, leaving him to struggle upright once more.
I watched, only feeling more aware of how ignorant we were in the south. This father was supposed to be the most dangerous man in the world. All I saw when I looked at the King of Pirenti’s face was adoration and humour.
‘Is Rose here?’ he asked his wife.
‘She is. So is a certain nephew of yours. The one you told me was in Kaya. Do you ever tire of being wrong, my love?’
I strained to hear, feeling guilty but unable to help myself, starved for insights into this famous but secret world that Thorne was from.
‘What
’s he doing here?’
‘We’re meeting him in our rooms shortly for an explanation.’
‘Well I was late because I’ve had a letter from Falco and Quillane,’ the King told his wife. ‘They said Thorne has been sent on their mission, but in the meantime they wish to meet to discuss the Sparrow.’
I watched Ava’s face turn to stone.
‘What would you have me do, pretty boy?’ Ambrose asked her gently.
‘You must do what is best for the peace treaty,’ she said woodenly.
‘That means offering them aid and soldiers, which they will use to destroy the Sparrow and his men in a civil war. Do you think it best to incite more bloodshed?’
‘I want whatever is best for both countries.’
‘Ava,’ he said suddenly. He reached out and took his wife’s chin, drawing her to meet his eyes. ‘I need you. You know what is best for Kaya. I do not. Is stopping this rebel force in the country’s best interests?’
Ava’s eyes went gold. ‘Falco is a drunken fool, but I’d not have him dethroned, Am. No matter who rules Kaya, they will continue on this search for a way to break the bond. No one will stop until its existence has been proven once and for all. Even if the Sparrow were to win this and rule, I doubt it would be long before he, too, wanted the choice. What he will also want, however, is an end to the power of the warders.’
I froze, shocked by the sentence. It had never occurred to me that Kayans would want less power for the warders – though, honestly, it should have. There had always been those uncomfortable with what the soul magic wielded.
‘So if we let him win one war he will simply begin another,’ Ambrose surmised. He cupped his wife’s cheek gently. I saw with astonishment that his eyes turned gold as he looked at her. And I realised I had never seen love like this, so blazing and defiant in the face of impossibility. This woman … she had crawled her way back from oblivion, and she had found the courage to love a man she was supposed to loathe. And Ambrose – we all knew the story – had fallen in love with a boy from the country he was supposed to abhor, and he had helped that boy to find his freedom, even when it meant betraying his own queen. They humbled me, the two of them, and they made me realise what kind of fight was in my own heart.
I was loath to interrupt such an intimate moment, but I couldn’t stand still, not with these words on my tongue. I stepped around the corner and said, ‘No one can fight the warders.
All who tried would die.’ All four looked sharply at me and then proceeded to stare.
‘I was eavesdropping,’ I explained stupidly.
Ambrose rose, peering at me with deepest curiosity while Ava merely hid a smile. I looked into the King’s face, flustered by the handsome, handsome handsomeness. Most of the girls I knew would find him too frightening to be beautiful; they preferred the pretty slenderness of Kayan men. I, on the other hand, seemed to prefer the brutes from the north.
‘You look Kayan,’ he pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest and levelling me with an appraising stare.
‘What incredible powers of perception you have, Majesty,’ I replied, to which he grinned.
‘You and my wife will get along nicely,’ he said. ‘You share a penchant for making me look stupid.’
‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I get obnoxious when I’m nervous. My name’s Finn.’
‘Finn of the cliffs of Limontae. She came with Thorne,’ Ava supplied.
Ambrose’s eyes sparked with interest.
Two things attached themselves to my legs and I looked down to see that the little girls were clutching at me. They had dark hair like their father, and purple eyes like their mother. They were extremely pretty, and I knew they would grow up to hold the kind of beauty that was very rare in the world. It was something about their eyes, which were too deep and too clever for girls of their age.
‘Hello,’ I said, taken aback.
‘Hello,’ they chimed in unison.
I grinned. ‘Who are you?’
‘She’s Sadie –’
‘– and she’s Ella.’
I blinked. ‘Pleasure to meet you. How old are you?’
‘Six and three quarters,’ they said in unison.
‘They do that all the time,’ Ambrose grinned.
‘I used to do it too,’ I confessed. ‘I have a twin brother.’
This was, clearly, the most incredible news the girls had ever heard. They squealed with delight and pulled on my arms wickedly. They felt like drifting pollen on a summer’s afternoon and the gossamer shine of spider’s webs, with both the innocence and the cunning of each for good measure. It was a lovely thing to feel, and I knew they would be incredible women when they grew up – if they were able to withstand the corruption of those hearts.
‘I’m Ambrose,’ the big man laughed, moving to offer his hand. I didn’t want to take it, feeling already too overwhelmed, but I couldn’t exactly refuse to shake the King of Pirenti’s hand. I took it and felt a whoosh of air leave my chest. Snow, falling, violet eyes, swords made of iron, pegasis fur, black hair, heavy and light and full and yearning and rage and grief and love and –
Quickly I snatched my hand back, not because what I’d felt was bad, but because it was simply too rich. Like taking a bite of the darkest chocolate cake in the world and savouring its deliciousness but knowing you couldn’t possibly have another bite or you’d vomit. What an incredibly curious man. My head spun for a moment and then settled itself in time to hear Ambrose ask, ‘You’re a believer in the warders?’
I glanced at his wife, who stared at me expressionlessly. I wasn’t sure how to answer the question. ‘I hate them, actually.’ Honestly, then. ‘Most of them. But I know what they’re capable of, and it’s not a matter of believing in them or not. I wouldn’t have normal humans go up against them unless it was the end of the world and we all wished to die.’
‘No need to be blunt,’ he murmured.
I shrugged. ‘You asked.’
‘And what do you think of the bond, Finn?’ the King of Pirenti asked me next. He certainly got right to the point. I wondered if he questioned every Kayan he met this way, or if it was my friendship with Thorne that made him so curious of me.
I met his eyes. ‘Here in Pirenti you endure your broken hearts. I would that we could do the same.’
‘Do you think it possible?’
I looked at Ava once more, at her wolf scar. ‘I know it’s possible, Majesty.’
He appraised me thoughtfully. After a moment his eyes turned sharp. ‘Tell me, child. Why did you follow my nephew into our fortress?’
I met his gaze. ‘Because he asked me to.’
Just not with words.
Ambrose stared at me, and then he smiled, looking very much like a wolf. He took my hand and dropped a kiss on the back of it. ‘In that case, you are very welcome here, Finn. I hope we can speak more tonight, if there is time between the obscene amount of fun we are required by law to have. Now I think we need to start making ourselves pretty, don’t we, girls?’
Ella and Sadie giggled and followed their da inside, leaving me alone with the Queen. She continued to watch me closely, but I had no idea what she was thinking. After a while she turned and stared out at the forest below the fortress. I did the same, watching her out of the corner of my eye. I hadn’t touched her skin yet, and I realised now that I wasn’t going to. Somehow it was an intimacy too far, and to broach that felt disrespectful. Some secrets weren’t for sharing, and I got a sense that whatever was in Ava’s heart was not a secret for me to know.
The statue, from this angle, was quite clear: King Thorne, his expression as detached as any human’s could be. I wondered if this was how he’d been, or if the artist had taken liberties. Either way, he was everywhere, this man. His presence hung heavy in every corner of the fortress. I knew now why Thorne didn’t live here – it would be suffocating.
‘You are either very brave or very foolish,’ Ava said abruptly.
‘Your Majesty?’
&nbs
p; ‘No titles,’ she muttered bluntly. ‘I’ve been trying to work out your motives, Finn. At first I thought that perhaps you sought fortune and fame, tying yourself to a prince. Then I thought that you might wish for danger, because I can see a startling amount of that in your eyes. I also entertained the thought that you might be here to spy.’ At this, the Queen looked sideways at me with enough of a glint in her eye that I knew she was only half serious. ‘I did not entertain that thought for long,’ she conceded less bluntly. ‘So I can only conclude that you care for him, and this leaves me with a certainty: you are either very brave or very foolish.’
I didn’t know what to say. ‘Whatever you do, don’t ask my family. They’d be only too happy to tell you which it is, and unfortunately for everybody bravery has nothing to do with it.’
Ava faced me. ‘Thorne is extremely dear to me. He is my kin – I love him like a son. He is kind and brave and clever. He is gentle in a way men from this land tend not to be. But hear this, Finn – loving a Pirenti man is no easy life for a Kayan woman. Easier, certainly, for I, who left my world and everyone I loved long ago, and was saved by a man braver and more foolish than any. But for a daughter of the cliff such as yourself, with family and friends and a life to live …’ She licked her lips, looking weary.
‘It’s cold up here,’ Ava finished simply.
Thorne found us shortly after that and the three of us went to see Ambrose. Ava let us into their chambers and I found myself staring around in wonder. The room was made of stone and timber, with furs on the floor and tapestries lining the walls. In brackets in the roof were dozens of tiny lamps, making the ceiling look like it was dotted with rosy coloured stars. There was a large fireplace to one side, with cushions scattered all over the floor before it, and lots of doorways leading into other areas of the chambers. The girls were already lounging around on the cushions, but when they saw Thorne they jumped up, shrieking their delight and tackling him to the ground.