For a long moment, they ate in silence, and then Haven said, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Always,” he said. Part of him was curious to learn what she wanted to know. Most of the time they’d spent talking over the past few weeks had been about her background and situation, and Dare half wondered what a sheltered twenty-two-year-old and he could have in common to talk about—part of him hoped it wasn’t much. Although he’d already been surprised more than once about the experiences they’d shared—their abusive, megalomaniac fathers, missing out on school and the typical teenage experience, running away from home and knowing they were being pursued. And finding shelter with the Ravens—he certainly couldn’t forget that.
She swallowed a bite and took a long sip of water. “Why did you join the Raven Riders?”
He almost laughed. The question seemed simple on its face but was actually the single thing she could’ve asked that would unravel lots of strands of his life. And there was almost no way to answer without either sharing the way he’d failed Mom and Kyle or omitting the way he’d failed the two most important people in his life—and hadn’t there already been enough lies and omissions between them?
“Well, it’s a bit of a long story,” he said, taking a bite. “The short version is that I ran away from my father’s house in Arizona when I was fifteen. After a few years of being homeless and floating around on my own, I worked up the courage to approach my grandfather. I hadn’t come here right away because my father had said for years that Doc was a mean, selfish bastard who wanted nothing to do with me or any of us. But life on the road alone wasn’t easy . . .” Which, given the things he’d done and sacrificed to survive, was a major fucking understatement. But whatever. “. . . and I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep living at all if I had to keep living like that. So I figured, what the hell, it was worth the try. Doc knew who I was with one glance and took me in without even a question. I should’ve known my father had lied and come here sooner. But after escaping two bad situations, I just hadn’t wanted to risk a third until I got desperate. The Ravens already existed then, but they were small and the members were mostly older or aging out. I’d grown up around my father’s club, and I liked the loyalty and brotherhood, the family, that a good club could be. So Doc and I agreed that I could stay on and earn my keep rebuilding the club and running the compound. On one condition.”
Haven’s expression was nearly rapt as she listened to him. “Which was?”
“That I never make the Ravens into the kind of club my father’s Diablos were.” He finished his first slice and wiped his fingers on a napkin. “A lot of bikers are drawn to clubs not only because they want to share in the motorcycle lifestyle with others who know and appreciate it, but because they also want to live life on their own terms. Some clubs, like the Diablos, take that a step further and want to live life without the restraints and oversights of rules and laws and authority. Instead, they want to make the rules and be the authority, which often leads to territorial disputes and conflicts with other clubs or gangs or criminal organizations. They go on the offense to secure territory and have no problem using violence—in some places, your number of kills or prison terms is often a way of proving your loyalty and moving up in the organization.”
Haven nodded as she grabbed a second slice of pizza. “Okay,” she said.
“Doc didn’t want that for us, and having lived it in my father’s club, I agreed. We believe in live and let live. We’ll resort to violence in the interest of self-defense if we have to—we’re not going to let anyone push us around. But we specifically chose business interests for the club that would create the least likelihood for treading on anyone else’s toes.”
“The racing?” she asked, her tone still interested and not at all disapproving.
Dare nodded. “And the betting that takes place around it, yeah. That’s our primary asset. We also do some trucking escorts in the region—we’re hired to provide additional security for sensitive or high-value transports. Basically, we make sure things get where they’re going unmolested. I’m not going to sit here and tell you all this is on the up-and-up by the feds’ book, but we try to keep out of guns and drugs as much as possible, because that’s where the biggest contentions arise.” Given her background and her father’s criminal activities, Dare wasn’t sure how she’d react to a frank admission that they weren’t a hundred percent aboveboard.
“And how did protecting people come into it all?” She took another big bite of her pizza, her seeming acceptance of what he was sharing encouraging him to dig into another slice himself. He hadn’t realized that he’d care what she thought of him and the Ravens, but talking to her like this made him realize he did. It mattered to him for reasons that weren’t entirely clear and probably didn’t make a shitload of sense. But it mattered all the same.
“It really started with Bunny,” Dare said, his memories easily taking him back to when her first marriage unraveled in the most violent of ways, the law doing almost nothing to protect her.
Haven’s mouth dropped open, surprise shaping her pretty face.
Bunny’s history was pretty widely known by the club, so Dare wasn’t talking out of turn by telling Haven, and Bunny had been known to tell some of the women that landed here herself when it seemed like it could help. “Her first husband—Maverick’s father—had always had a controlling streak none of us liked, but Bunny seemed happy with him, and as long as she was, we didn’t make too much of it,” Dare said. “But then he lost his job and Bunny was bringing in most of their money working for me and Doc at the racetrack, which caused all kinds of problems, especially as his paranoia grew that she was running around on him with a Raven. She wasn’t, but of course that didn’t matter. There was no convincing him. When the abuse started, we closed ranks around her until he agreed to a divorce and a restraining order we were willing to enforce however necessary. That whole experience changed a lot of things for me and Doc and Maverick. Made it personal. Made it something we wanted to be able to do for others like her if we could.”
“It’s hard to imagine Bunny . . .” Haven shook her head. “She’s so amazing.”
The affection in her voice for his aunt reached inside his chest and squeezed. “She’s the best.” A long pause, and then, “What we were able to do to help Bunny also struck home with me for another reason.”
The pizza was suddenly a rock in his gut, but while the idea of telling Haven about his worst failure was about as appealing as going ass-over-ears on his bike, it was also kinda freeing, too. To be wholly known was not something Dare permitted often. But Haven had shared some of her deepest and darkest with him, and he felt like he needed to return the gesture. Anyway, she’d be gone soon. And if it changed the way she looked at him—for which he wouldn’t blame her—little would be lost. A major gut check belied the thought, but Dare ignored it like a motherfucker.
“I ran from my father’s house as he was murdering my mother and older brother. I didn’t do a damn thing to help, which I will regret for as long as I live. So protecting others, it’s me trying to make right that first wrong. No matter how impossible it might be.” He heard the note of belligerence in his tone, almost daring her to judge him.
As if she could do it more harshly than he did it himself.
NO MATTER HOW fast she blinked, Haven couldn’t hold off the threatening tears. For Dare. For the boy he’d been. For all he’d lost. For the pain in his voice and that haunted look in his eyes she’d seen time and time again and never understood. Until now. “Oh, Dare.”
“So, yeah. That’s how it came about,” he said, shoving his plate away and crossing his arms over his chest.
Haven didn’t have the right words—assuming any even existed. All she knew was that she couldn’t be so far away from him. Nerves fluttered through her belly, but she pushed through it, got up from her seat, and rounded the table to him. And then she went to her knees on the floor, laid her head against his stomach, and wrapped her arms around h
is waist as best she could. “I’m so sorry.”
For a long moment, his body was rigid and unyielding, totally unmoved or maybe even put off by her touch. But then his muscles went loose, and it was like he was surrendering to her compassion, maybe even accepting it. A big, calloused hand stroked the hair off the side of her face. “I am, too,” he said in a tight voice.
“You were fifteen,” she said, the horror of his story washing over her. “You were lucky to survive yourself.” She peered up at him. “Imagine all the people who might never have gotten the Ravens’ help if your father had killed you, too.”
His lips pressed into a tight line and his eyes narrowed. He swallowed hard.
“Was Kyle your brother?” she asked. One of the tattoos on his chest included the name.
A tight nod, but nothing more.
Haven wasn’t sure if his silence was regret for telling her or difficulty telling her any more. But he wasn’t pushing her away, and he wasn’t telling her to drop it. So she didn’t. “What was he like?”
Dare’s expression softened, and she felt it deep in her chest. “He was a tough guy with a killer sense of humor who would give you the shirt off his back. He was a terrible student who got away with murder at school because he could charm the hell out of the teachers. And he was loyal and protective of his family and took care of my mom and me when things got bad. Which they did often. He taught me a lot of what I knew about how to be a man, or at least, the right kind of man, despite the fact that we were only two years apart. And he saved my life.”
“He sounds amazing,” she said.
“He was,” Dare said. “Come here.”
Haven rose and let Dare guide her until she straddled his lap. His hands ran up the outsides of her thighs as her arms went around his neck. “At least you’re doing something with your life,” she said. “At least you’re making what Kyle did for you mean something. That’s a form of fighting back, too. You know?” She shook her head. “Unlike me. The crap I let my father get away with for so long. I just took it. And I can’t see how I’ll ever manage to do anything half as meaningful as what you’ve done for so many others. And for me.”
“I’m no hero, Haven,” Dare said, his expression agitated.
“You are, Dare,” she said, meeting his gaze. “You are to me. And I bet you are to Bunny, too, because she adores you.”
Dare’s hands stroked her back, his eyes suddenly softer, unshuttered, uncertain. He pulled her closer until their foreheads touched. “What are you doing to me?” he whispered.
Haven’s heart tripped into a sprint, because the words held so much emotion that it made her heart ache with something a whole lot stronger than affection for him. “I don’t know,” she whispered back. “But you’re doing it to me, too.”
The admissions sparked heat between them until it seemed like the air itself was alive with electricity and desire. Between her legs, he hardened, and it shot a thrill of need through her body so hard and fast that her heart raced and her breathing shallowed and quickened.
“Fuck, Haven,” he rasped, his hands tangling in her hair.
“Yes, please,” she whispered, her whole body throbbing with arousal.
Dare had her shirt off in an instant. And then he was standing her up, stripping her down, and spinning her around. The chair he’d sat in screeched against the floor and his palm fell on her back. “Hands on the table.” Haven had barely complied when he gripped her butt cheeks in his fingers and spread them apart. And then he buried his mouth right where she needed him most.
Haven nearly screamed. She went up on her toes in pleasure, her arms bowing, her legs shaking. Dare ate her like a man possessed, hard licks, deep plunging penetration, using his whole face to drive her wild. And she was. Babbling, crying, trembling, pressing. She was nearly as mad to come as he seemed to be to make her come.
The orgasm was like a bomb exploding her world apart and putting her back together in whole new ways—of which Dare would always be a part. Like he’d imprinted himself on her very DNA.
Head still spinning, Haven wasn’t sure what was happening as Dare hauled her off the table and backward. And then he sat her down on his bare lap, his jeans hanging around his calves. “Ride me, Haven. Fucking ride me so damn hard.” He lifted her over him, and Haven centered herself over his cock until she was taking him in, taking him deep, taking him all.
“Oh, God,” she said with a gasp as she looked down and watched her body swallow him whole. She felt full and stretched and powerful and absolutely crazed with the need to shatter him the way he’d just shattered her. Feet together on the floor, she braced her hands on his thighs, and then she rode him fast, lifting and lowering her body over his again and again and again. Dare was cursing and grunting and digging his fingers into her ass. Haven was gloriously wet and breathing hard and sweating with the exertion of taking him.
“Fuck, Haven. Fuck. So good,” Dare growled. And then he grabbed her around the waist and stood them up, his body curled around hers. Arms banded tight around her, he held her in place while his hips flew, the sound of their clashing skin and panting breaths loud in the room. It was such a frenzy of movement and emotion that Haven felt totally overwhelmed, totally out of control, but she knew that Dare had her in his arms—and that nothing could happen to her as long as that was true.
The realization wound sensation tight within her body. It spiraled inside her until it was concentrated within the tight channel Dare’s cock filled until Haven was moaning nonstop and trying to push herself back against him.
The groan that ripped out of Dare was the single sexiest thing Haven had ever heard, but then he pulled out of her, leaving her dizzy and confused—until she felt the hot lashes of his come against her butt and her back. Knowing that he’d spilled himself on her skin—that he’d thought to protect her in the heat of the moment, again—was a complete turn-on, and did absolutely nothing to detract from the arousal still whipped tight inside her.
“Dare,” she whimpered.
“Jesus, Haven,” he said, hugging her until she stood up straight, her back still against his front. He was still a little hard behind her, and she couldn’t help the way she ground her hips against him. “Fuck, baby, you need to come again, don’t you?”
Her head reclined on his shoulder just as his right hand slid down her body. “Please,” she whispered.
His fingers were relentless, centering and circling on her clit in a firm, fast, slick grind. Almost desperate, Haven thrust her hips forward into his touch, chasing, needing, wound tighter than she’d ever been in her life.
“Come on, Haven. Come on,” Dare ground out.
The orgasm stole her breath and bowed every muscle in her body. Her nails dug into Dare’s arms as her breath finally exploded from her chest in a shaking cry. Her knees went soft, but Dare caught her. Of course he did. And he sat them back down on the chair.
On instinct, Haven spun in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She buried her face against his throat and curled up against him.
And she didn’t care if it seemed needy or revealed too much about how she was feeling, or even about the fact that they were both wet with Dare’s come. Because Dare . . . Dare just held her right back.
CHAPTER 21
Dare’s thoughts didn’t get more settled as they watched movies together the rest of the night, the rain still constant, the thunder occasionally rumbling. Haven was just easy to be with, a quiet, soft comfort to a man who’d had very little solace in his life. She was a great listener, and she had a knack for honing in on the most important questions. The sound of her laughter tempted his smile every damn time. And she took pleasure in absolutely everything. Dare had to admire that.
Finally, he made a deal with himself—enjoy her while you have her. Which started with tonight. After that, he could spend time sitting and spinning on all the bullshit in his head.
Which was why he’d already decided: “You’re sleeping with me,” he said to Haven a
t bedtime. She looked up from where she reclined against his chest on the couch. “Upstairs to the left. Use whatever you need in the bathroom.”
“Okay,” she said, turning against his body and stretching to kiss him. “I’m not a very good sleeper, though.”
“Don’t you worry about it,” he said, tucking a light brown wave behind her ear. “I’ll lock up and be right there.”
She stretched, revealing the soft skin of her stomach—and bringing his cock to life for possibly the thousandth time today. Not that he minded.
As she made for the steps, Dare hauled his ass off the couch, turned off the lights, and checked the doors. Her sounds echoed from upstairs—footsteps on the floorboards, the bathroom door shutting, the water running at the sink. The noises of someone else in his space were so unusual it was like his house was new to him all over again. He liked it. Too much.
He was on her the second she walked out of the bathroom door. Pressing her against the wall and kissing her deeply. Just because he could. She tasted like his mouthwash, and there was something really nice about that. And the smile she gave him when he released her? It lit him up inside like he hadn’t ever felt before.
When he finally made it to his room, he found her sitting stiffly on the edge of the bed. And that wasn’t going to do at all.
Walking toward the bed, he shed his shirt and unbuttoned his jeans. Haven’s eyes on him were like fire in his blood. When he reached her, he tugged her shirt over her head. Because there was no way he could put her in his bed and not bury himself inside her. “I’m gonna reach for you, Haven. All night long.” He tossed a handful of condoms on the bed.
She lifted her hips and let him pull off the borrowed boxers. “Good,” she said around the edge of a kiss. “I hope you do.”
Dare stepped out of his jeans until they were both nude. He didn’t know what tomorrow might bring, so he wanted nothing between them tonight. His fingers dipped between her legs. “Aw, you’re always so ready for me, aren’t you?”