“Get out of bed!”
I sat up and stared at her. Her green eyes looked like they had burning fire inside of them.
“Listen, Portia, I am sorry … I—” I didn’t get any further before she stopped me with her hand held high.
“I do not want to hear it,” she said. “Get out of the bed!”
I didn’t do it.
“Now!” she yelled.
I looked around and they had all surrounded my bed. Mai was staring at me with her narrow eyes, Acacia just looked plain mad and Abhik … sweet Abhik had an angry and disappointed look in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to tell on you, Abhik, you know that,” I said to him. I got out of the bed and walked toward him, but Portia got in between us.
“Move,” I said.
At that moment, Portia lifted both her arms high while making a hissing sound with her mouth. I was somehow lifted into the air and thrown backward against the wall. As I hit the wall my body dissolved into fluid but then assembled itself again. I felt like I had been hit in the stomach. I was totally out of breath, exhausted and confused. It took me a moment to get back on my feet again.
Mai, Acacia and Abhik were standing a few feet behind Portia. All of them were staring at her with eyes wide open.
“Where did you learn how to do that?” Mai asked.
“That is not something they teach you here,” Abhik continued.
Portia didn’t pay any attention to them. She stared at me with the burning fire in her eyes.
“They wouldn’t teach you stuff like that here,” she hissed.
“What are you talking about?” asked Acacia.
Portia was approaching me slowly, seeming like she was looking forward to finishing me off.
“Don’t you know?” She continued. “They hold all the cool stuff back from us. They don’t want us to know that we as spirits can do all kinds of stuff. We have all kinds of powers. But they won’t tell you that, ’cause that would make you as strong as the Angels. And they don’t want you to be strong. They want you to be weak and dependent so they can control you.”
There was a long silence. Acacia, Mai and Abhik stared at each other.
“Who told you all that?” I asked.
She laughed. It was creepy. “It doesn’t matter who told me. The important thing is they are right. As spirits we could rule the entire world if we wanted to, if we wouldn’t let them hold us back.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” I asked looking at her, trying to meet her eyes and find the Portia I used to know. Because this wasn’t her.
And it scared me.
“Yes I do. You would too if you would only open up your eyes. But you are so blinded by all their propaganda, by all that stuff they put in your head. You don’t see what I see.”
“What do you see then?”
“This place is holding all of us back. They don’t even tell us how we died; we don’t even remember our family or the people we care about. That is cruel, if you ask me. They are the evil ones.”
I got on my feet again, still feeling a bit wobbly.
“I can’t believe I hear you saying these things,” I said, staring at her fiery green eyes.
“Neither can we,” said Abhik and approached.
Portia looked at him and then at Mai and Acacia standing a little further behind him.
“What? Now you are all turning against me?”
Mai approached her as well. “No, we are trying to help you, before it is too late.”
Portia hissed again. “I don’t need help. I am stronger than any of you. You need me!”
Portia turned around and pointed at me. “She is the one you should turn against. She got you all in trouble, remember? She is the one who told on us. She cannot be trusted.”
“But Portia …” I said.
She stared directly into my eyes and suddenly my head was filled with those horrible whispering voices again.
“You are a bad friend … look at how you betrayed Abhik… look into his eyes and see how much you hurt him. You don’t belong here … look how Mick betrayed you. How can you ever trust him again?”
I held my hands to my head and bent down on my knees. The voices were all in my head and I couldn’t escape them.
“And what about Jason? You never helped him did you? What kind of a friend does that? They tell you it is for his best, but how could it be? Where is the compassion? Where is the love in that?”
“Please make it stop,” I screamed. But Portia just kept staring at me with her green penetrating eyes and I began to feel so terrible inside, filled with a huge guilt that felt like it was going to consume me from the inside. There was nothing but despair left inside of me, like all hope and life was gone.
“Please, I beg of you …”
“Portia!” Abhik screamed. Stop it!”
Then luckily something happened. Another much deeper voice took over and filled the entire room.
“Yes, it is time to put an end to it right now.” The voice was soothing and comforting, immediately causing the whispering in my head to go away. I looked up and behind me stood Salathiel along with Mick.
“I am really sorry that I have to do this,” Salathiel said. “But I am afraid there is no other way. I really believed that we could save you, Portia, but it has gone too far now.”
Portia hissed and screamed at them. She was like a big cornered cat trying to fight its way out.
Then Salathiel lifted both of his gigantic arms in the air and he yelled: “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only.”
It was as if the floor suddenly opened up and a big gap of blackness and emptiness appeared in front of us. And it started sucking Portia into it. She hissed and squeaked in a high-pitched tone as her body was slowly sucked away into the deep darkness beneath us.
A second later the gap closed and Portia was gone.
“Where did she go?” I asked Mick. We had all gone to bed and he said he would stay with us for the night to make sure we were all okay. They had made an extra bed for Abhik to sleep in, but just for the night. After that he had to go back to the boy’s dormitory, they said.
Mick sighed.
“She went to Abaddon. The kingdom of death and destruction.”
“Is that where the evil sprits live?” asked Acacia.
Mick nodded. “She is a Se’irim now.”
I shivered. “She’s an evil spirit now?” I asked.
He nodded again.
“Has she always been that?” asked Abhik.
“Yes and no. She had a lot of good in her too.”
“I don’t get that,” Mai said.
Mick leaned forward in his chair.
“Look, it is not all black and white. People are not all good or bad. Some just make bad choices and get drawn toward the wrong things.”
“So what you are saying is that it could happen to any one of us?”
“Basically, yes. I think some people are more likely to be drawn toward the bad stuff than others. But we all have to watch out for what we believe in.”
Everyone was quiet for a while. I guess we all had a lot to think about. I know I did.
“Is that what they call spiritual warfare?” I asked.
Mick nodded. “Yes it is. And today was a really sad day for all of us. Because today the Devil won.”
“How come?” Abhik asked.
“He took one of ours with him. We lost Portia and he won another spirit he can take with him. See the thing is there is a war going on and, since the Devil has already lost, he has nothing to lose in trying to take as many people as possible with him in defeat.”
I laid my head on my pillow feeling exhausted.
“So we fight to keep as many people as possible with us?” I asked.
Mick nodded again.
I stared at the marble ceiling over my head as I had done so many times before. I felt really horrible about what had happened to Portia but at least I was fin
ally understanding some of all this.
Chapter 17
As time passed I slowly stopped thinking about Portia and that terrifying night in the dormitory. Not that any of us could ever forget about it—how could we? But we never talked about it again and our life at the Academy continued as usual.
The end of the first school year drew closer, as well as the traditional extravagant ball at the castle to celebrate. I have never been very social and I never cared much for parties or dances back on earth, but I managed to feel excited about this ball.
Finally something to make us all happy again.
The girls in the dormitory had been a little down and depressed since that night with Portia. I think we all, in our different ways, missed having her around. Her empty bed kept reminding us where she had gone. It was a destiny that could happen to any of us if we weren’t careful.
But now we had something else on our mind. I had joined the all-girl party-planning committee. One day while we were having a meeting, Rahmiel showed up. She surprised us all by suddenly appearing through the wall.
“If there is one thing I have learned in my many years taking care of human spirits, it is that girls like to dress up for a big ball. Am I right?” She asked.
We all smiled and nodded.
“But unfortunately, you all look just the same as you did when you died, or just a few seconds before. And we can’t change that. You can’t dress up. You can’t put on make-up or nice shoes. Now where is the fun in that?”
She was right. We had talked a lot about the fact that we all would be looking exactly the same for the party as we did in our everyday life, and it would make the ball just another ordinary day, except for the dancing.
“So, girls, I have a small surprise for you,” Rahmiel said.
We all looked at her with great anticipation.
“For one night and one night only,” she said with her forefinger held in front of her making her look like a giant schoolteacher. “I will make you look just the way you want to. I can put you in any dress you wish, in any color, and any jewelry and makeup you would like. What do you say about that?”
We all dropped our jaws. Was that really possible? Could she really do that for us? Then after a few seconds we burst into a loud cheering.
“I want a pink dress,” Acacia said. “I want it long but with light fabric.”
“Oh, I want a purple one,” Mai said. “And a flower in my hair.”
“Mine should be red,” Alexandra said. “And could I get a tiara?”
“No, I want a tiara,” Acacia said.
“But you can’t. Not if I am having one,” Alexandra said and turned to Rahmiel. “Isn’t that correct?”
Rahmiel laughed gently.
“Well, children. It seems like you have got your hands full. I will leave you for now and see you in this room again two hours before the ball.”
The dancing gave me the most trouble. I never was a good dancer when I had to use my feet, but for some reason I was even worse when all I had to do was float in the air. I thought it would make it easier, but it really didn’t. So I practiced every evening after school with Mai. When the day of the ball finally arrived, we still had some missteps during our final rehearsal but I believe we had made great progress.
Exhausted, we threw ourselves on my bed and looked at the ceiling.
“So are you ready for this?” Mai asked.
“The ball? Sure.” I said with a smile. “I just have to get past the dancing part, I think. I will survive.”
“Will you dance with Mick, do you think?”
I felt myself blush. “I don’t know, why?”
“The two of you seem quite fond of one another.”
“Well, I guess I will. If he asks me.”
“Do you think he is like your soul mate? That you will fall in love and be forever together in eternity?”
“Wow, I have to admit I hadn’t thought about it in that way.”
“Think about it. It’s the ultimate romance story. The opposite of Romeo and Juliet. You will be together forever and nothing can separate you. Never growing older.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I said. I closed my eyes, and never told her that when I did, I didn’t picture myself in eternity with Mick. The boy beside me was Jason. I opened my eyes wide open at once.
Jason!
I sat up on the bed.
“What is going on?” Mai asked.
“What day is it today?”
“June fifteenth. You know that.”
It was as if everything inside of me froze. June fifteenth was the date in the book. The date written underneath Jason’s picture. I felt my heart racing in my chest and I felt short of breath.
“What is wrong, Meghan?” Mai asked. “You look like something terrible just happened. What is it? Are you not feeling well?”
I got up from the bed feeling dizzy and nauseated at the same time. The room was spinning around me. How could I have forgotten that it was today? How was I supposed to enjoy myself?
“Tell me, what is wrong?” Mai said.
I shook my head. “Nothing, I just forgot something important.”
Mai looked at the clock on the wall. “Well, it better not be something that you have to take care of now, because we are meeting Rahmiel in the chamber in less than ten minutes.”
I rubbed my forehead, trying to think straight. What was I going to do? What were my options?
“I know.” I looked straight at Mai. I closed my eyes, took in a couple of deep breaths, and calmed myself down. There wasn’t anything I could do anyway. I had to try not to think about Jason and enjoy the evening anyway.
I looked again at Mai. She smiled at me.
“Shall we get going?” she asked.
Chapter 18
When we entered the chamber, the girls were excitedly talking about how much fun it was going to be. Rahmiel had just arrived and was talking to Alexandra. I felt like I could cry at any moment, but luckily no one seemed to notice. The girls all laughed and giggled. I really tried to be a part of it, even though my thoughts were somewhere else. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Jason lying on the floor and his step-dad bent over him with the baseball bat like I had seen in that book.
Alexandra stepped forward and we all admired her red dress and sparkling tiara. Everybody cheered and clapped except me. I felt a tear slip from my eye and roll down my cheek. I felt as if a fog descended over my head and everyone else in the room disappeared.
“Who is next?” I heard Rahmiel say in the distance.
“Meghan,” someone answered. I don’t know who. It was all still very blurry to me. And frankly I didn’t care. I sat down at a chair while the tears kept rolling quietly down my cheeks.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and warmth spread in my entire body. I looked up and Rahmiel was right next to me. She was shining, lighting up the entire room just by her presence.
“Meghan?” Her soft voice reminded me of my mother. I felt a little happiness inside. I was so happy to learn that I remembered my mother’s voice. It felt nice just thinking about it.
“You are the only one who hasn’t gotten her dress yet,” Rahmiel said.
I felt the pressure of more tears behind my eyes.
“I … don’t know if I feel up to it,” I said.
Rahmiel smiled. Then something strange happened. I heard her voice inside of my head.
“Don’t worry, Meghan. Everything will be fine. Trust me.”
I kept staring at her lips that never moved. To my surprise, I felt myself calm down a little. Then Rahmiel reached out her hand and wiped away a tear from my cheek.
“Let’s get you in a beautiful dress, what do you say? Blue is your favorite color, right?”
I sniffed and wiped the tears from my eyes. Then I nodded.
“Stand up, please,” she said and reached out her hand. I took it and now I was standing in front of her. All eyes in the room were on me.
Then Rahmiel closed her eyes and tu
rned her hands in big circles in front of my body. Slowly something truly magical happened. First my shoes changed and next my legs were wrapped in this blue fairy-dust-like glitter that sparkled. As it moved its way up, it turned into a big blue ballroom gown. It sparkled and I felt like a girl in a fairytale. When I turned it flowed around me. I felt my hair being lifted and finally a blue diamante tiara appeared in it.
Rahmiel opened her eyes slowly and looked at me. Then she smiled.
“Wow,” Acacia and Mai said at the same time.
I blushed. “No Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo?” I asked trying to make a joke out of it.
Rahmiel kept smiling at all of us, like we were her daughters going off to the prom. We all looked at each other and I made the decision to enjoy it the best that I could. Rahmiel spoke just before we left.
“Remember. Just like in the fairytales the magic wears off at midnight.”
“Really?”
“No. But that is the only joke I know, so you’d better laugh.”
Dinner in Hornam Hall was spectacular. We had wine and champagne and everybody seemed so cheerful that rubbed off a little on me as well. I stretched my neck and looked around to see if I could see Mick anywhere, but unfortunately he was nowhere to be seen. Probably doing his duty in the kitchen, I assumed. Instead I sat next to Abhik and we had a nice time chatting and making fun of each others’ outfits. Apparently Salathiel had dressed up the boys in nice white ties and tails and even silk top hats. Abhik’s was a little too big for his head and he reminded me of a little boy dreaming about growing up to be a magician.
“Where are your rabbits?” I asked him.
“Where they always are,” he said with a smile.
“Making more rabbits?”
“You said it.”
Then dessert came in on big dishes, carried by second-year students. It was even more extravagant than the appetizers and the main course had been.
“Now that is the way I like it,” Abhik said when it landed in front of him. “Dessert is even bigger than the entrée.”
I smiled and ate a little. I hadn’t had much of an appetite through the dinner; every time I ate something it seemed to grow in my mouth and make me want to throw up. Feeling heartbroken and eating just wasn’t a good combination.