CHAPTER XIX.
"Each of us is a distinct flower or tree in the spiritual garden of God,--precious each for its own sake in the eyes of Him who is even now making us,--each of us watered and shone upon and filled with life for the sake of His flower, His completed being, which will blossom out of Him at last to the glory and pleasure of the great Gardener. For each has within him a secret of Divinity; each is growing toward the revelation of that secret to himself, and so to the full reception, according to his measure of the Divine."--_George MacDonald._
"MARLOW, September ----.
"Dear Husband: Your letter seemed the only bright spot in my yesterday'sexperience, for, strange as it may seem, I awoke with the same oldheadache and pain in my limb, and felt so dull and stupid, that I wasalmost doubtful whether I had ever known anything. In vain I tried totreat myself, but the more I tried the more perplexed I became, untilabout noon, when I began to feel better, though the whole day was anovel and rather disagreeable experience. When I went into class to-day,from nearly every quarter was heard a similar story of how the day ofrest had been passed.
"It was more and more astonishing. Dr. Bright had hardly recovered fromher sick headache; Mrs. Dawn was still feeling stupid; two ladies werenot able to attend class; Dr. Johnson and Dr. Lorimer actually lookedangry, and the two ministers in the class were gravely discussing theknotty points and knitting their clerical brows over 'doubtfulexplanations' as they called them, while a perplexed and troubled airseemed to settle on everybody. But there are a few old students in theclass, and they looked at us with a knowing smile, saying: 'This is onlychemicalization; you will be all the brighter after you get over it.'
"They did not explain further, but I knew something about it from theexperience we have had, but had never thought of it in that light. 'Itis a comfort to know there is some prospect of an end to our darknessanyway,' said Mrs. Dawn, with a long-drawn breath of relief, voicing thesentiments of all.
"The kind and gracious look Mrs. Pearl gave us as she came in, sent awave of peace and satisfaction over me, for I felt that she understoodthe situation and would lift the curtains and let in the light.
"After the usual silence, which seemed longer than before, Mrs. Pearlbegan in a calm clear voice:
"We have come now to a point where it seems necessary to explain theprocess of growth, and the phenomenal changes which take place atcertain stages of our development, whether known or unknown to theindividual.
"Hitherto we have recognized material ideas, objects and processes. Wehave looked upon our physical being as the indisputable creation subjectto all changes, circumstances or conditions. Having experienced amaterial birth, we conceive of no other as being either possible ornecessary, and like Nicodemus we go in the night of our ignorance to askthe divine Teacher, Truth, questions concerning spiritual things, onlyto be told we must be born from above if we would know the things ofthe spirit. 'That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which isborn of Spirit is spirit.'
"We are covered with the cold, hard shell of material beliefs, whichmust be broken and cast away before the sweet and tender germ of spiritcan spring up. We are born like the flowers, and blossom like them.'Consider the lilies of the field, _how they grow_.'
"Seed typifies the desire for truth planted in the conscious andunconscious being. The more constantly and persistently we hold thedesire, the more rapid and perfect will be the development that producesthe fruit. The hard little kernel must first lie in the dark earth,while hidden forces make it swell and sprout until the outer shell diesand falls away, leaving the pure white germ to push its way up and upthrough the cold dreary earth. At this period it is very delicate andtender, and yet it must pass through a trying stage, for when the whitespire just peeps above the ground it has to encounter elements that atfirst seem bent upon its destruction.
"Will the sun's rays now prove too hot for it? Will the winds be toorough and stormy? Will the cold air bite, or the storm beat and bruiseit unto death? Pointing ever skyward, does it stop to shiver at theprospect of dark and cold and heat, or windy violence?
"Let us see. Bravely the young shoot goes its way. As soon as it seesthe light it displays new beauty, and the reflected glory clothes it ina brighter robe--the fresh, dainty green of spring's supernal dress,emblem of everlasting youth. But a storm of wind and rain assails it.Dense cloud-curtains hide the sun, and the air is cold and chilling.Sometimes for days this benumbing coldness lasts. But after the stormour little friend is greener and brighter and larger than ever. It haswithstood the storm and wind, by using them for its own advancement.Everything has been turned into good by recognizing only the good.
"When the sunshine comes again the little slip is baptized with dew andwarmth and light, and joyously springs on toward budding time, and thenanother and different experience befalls. Instead of rolling every newleaf outward to be bathed in the light and kissed by the wind, there isa rolling inward, a curling up and shutting in of the new and delicateleaves. A hard, unlovely roll or lump now displays itself on the greenstem, and every day the roll becomes larger and harder. The green stalknever questions, though for a time her face is veiled. She lives in thewaiting silence, content with what is. One bright day she looks at herugly bud and finds it a rare blossom of surpassing beauty and sweetestfragrance. Thus is born the fair-robed lily, pure emblem of the child ofGod.
"But we have many and various symbols of divine thought in the many andvarious flowers, from which we learn divine lessons. There are theviolets that come so early in the spring, with their wildwood fragranceand dainty blue cloaks, and the lovely roses of summer, the goldenrodsand asters of autumn, while among the rarer kinds we have thenight-blooming cereus, the beautiful but slow blossoming century plant,and many others. These are types and symbols of ourselves and ourprocess of birth and unfoldment.
"The new birth is a development from material to spiritual knowledge.The individual corresponds to one or another plant, but none may know atwhat particular stage.
"Some blossom early, some late, some manifest a nature like the violet,others the rose, the water lily or the century plant. I can not tell,you can not tell, none can tell. Even the Master said, 'The wind blowethwhere it listeth and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tellwhence it cometh or whither it goeth, so is every one that is born ofthe spirit.'
"The wonderful seed (desire for truth) we have planted must be moistenedby the water of right words, warmed by the sunshine of faith, fed by thedew of patience.
"Our trials will be similar in character to the flowers, and the outcomewill be the same in proportion as we follow their example ofunquestioning faithfulness.
"The very desire to grow is a challenge to the elements that _seem_ tooppose growth, but the plant overcomes all obstacles by itsnon-resistance, and herein lies one of our most valuable lessons.
"In our progress we meet with many conditions and circumstances that tryus, that seem indeed to call in question our earnestness in thusstarting out, with new assumptions. Sometimes these adverse conditionsare called trials of faith and they may come to us in one way oranother, sometimes in sickness, sometimes in misunderstandings,sometimes in grief, sometimes in disagreeable duties.
"Peculiarities of disposition that we thought overcome, may manifestthemselves very unexpectedly and cause us great annoyance, not onlybecause we may have congratulated ourselves on having risen above them,but because it would be a mortification to us to have our friends knowthat we who believe in the possibility of such high moral attainments,should be guilty of these old weaknesses and follies. In every way, thetempter--mortal thought--may show us the fallibility of human nature andtempt us to disbelieve in our high ideals.
"The forty days' temptation in the wilderness is the soul history ofevery human being who starts out to lead the life of Jesus. Tempted ineverything as we are, he was the type of strength, purity andfaithfulness to principles, which we most earnestly should seek tofollow. After his
baptism, 'He was conducted by the spirit into thedesert to be tempted by the enemy.'
"We are baptized by the spirit when we have come into the realization ofour sonship and daughtership, our true relation to the divine Father andMother Love, and have consecrated our lives to the service of Truth. Inorder that we may be fully aware of the magnitude of our desire, we are,as it were, led by the spirit to the desert which literally signifiesforsaken, where every means of comfort and companionship are gone, wherewe must learn to choose between the ever present but invisible thingsof God and the transitory but gratifying pleasures of the visible world.Having a glimpse of the power and blessedness conferred by the knowledgeof Truth, we are tempted to keep hold of the power, at the same timefellowshipping with the world, which by our recognition and fellowshipwill be greatly pleased through the acquisition of our society andtalents.
"When tests are required of us similar to the turning of stones intobread, healing the lepers, raising the dead, will we realize ourdependence on the word of God which is the 'bread of life?' Temptationsto dare the protection of the power, give us an insight to the very sametrial of Jesus, and when we are led up to the mountain of knowledge fromwhich we may view the pomps and vanities of the world, realizing thesuperior insight that gives power, then comes the decisivequestion--shall God or mammon gain our allegiance? Shall we forego theseductive allurements of mortal thought (which is really only thenegative thought or the false power called the world's beliefs reflectedupon us), or shall we, in ringing tones cry out, 'Get thee behind me,adversary (or opposer). Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God and him onlyshalt thou serve.' Then the enemy leaves us, and behold, angels come andminister to us.
"After the long forty days, which with some seem longer than withothers, after the darkness and desolation of a desert night, we areministered unto by the blessed angels--good thoughts--and the glory ofthe Most High shines round about us. The struggle is ended, the Goodwhich is ever ready to be our guide when we choose, leads us into manysweet experiences that bring us nearer and nearer to the 'promisedland,' the true inheritance of God's children. We begin the ascent ofthe mount of transfiguration, and though we come to many steep places,though we sometimes stumble over rocks of ignorance, though we encounterclouds of doubt that veil the glorious peak from our longing view for atime, though we meet wild beasts, (untamed human nature), though wecross shadowy valleys and dark ravines, lighted only by the torch offaith, we shall have transcendant glimpses of the fair Beyond, shallbreathe the perfumed air of Zion's Hills, and be transported withdelight at the never ceasing revelations made to the true seeker aftereternal wisdom.
"After faith, comes knowledge. If we were overcome by the tidal wave,when wading out a little way from shore, and a rope were thrown us, weshould at least catch hold the rope, hoping to be delivered from thedanger. After several successful experiences, we should have faith inthe rope, so when we feel the tidal wave of trial overtaking us, we areto catch hold of our denials and affirmations which correspond to thesaving rope. An invariable rule in Christian Science is to deny theundesirable and affirm that which can be predicated of spirit. _Nomatter what inharmony_ assails you, whether it be pain, poverty,sickness, loneliness, fear or anxiety, _deny_ it positively andrepeatedly and _affirm_ the opposite. Like Jesus, we must speak of thatwhich is true, but not visible. Thus when called to raise the daughterof Jairus, he said: 'She is not dead but sleepeth.' The appearance ofdeath was denied, and its opposite, life, affirmed.
"When talking to the Jews, Jesus said: 'If ye continue in my word, thenare ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth and the truthshall make you free.' It is continuance in the word that brings theblessing, mark that.
"And now let us enter into the silence with one accord, saying: 'For Thyblessed words and example we thank Thee, O, beloved Master, and with Thywords we enter now into Thy faith.'
"An impressive ten minutes, and then, with reverent voice and gesture,Mrs. Pearl dismissed us with the words: 'It is finished. We havereceived that which we asked, and are filled with the peace that passethall understanding.'
"While we sat thus, just before she spoke, I had one of those peculiarexperiences they tell about, coming so often in the silence. It seemedas though I was in the cool quiet of early morning, watching the signsof a summer dawn. All at once the creeping rainbow colors shot up towardthe zenith, and the most glorious sunrise I ever beheld flooded me witha dazzling glow of gold. The moment she spoke it vanished, but oh, howlovely it was! What could it mean unless the dawn of the 'Sun ofRighteousness?' I must wait and see, for surely the understanding ofthese things will come when I am ready for it.
"Several of the class have been having strange signs or hints ofsomething on which they have been studying deeply. Dr. Bright said thateverything turned black before her one day when she was denying, andwhen she could see again it seemed as though there were no walls to thehouse and she was gazing into empty space. This is on account of denyingtill material things seem immaterial, and we begin to realize thereality of spirit.
"The saying of the affirmation for strength, Mrs. Dawn says, makes herbody feel almost electrified with vitality, and she can realize that thewords bring to her what they claim.
"One young man, who sits just back of me, told his experience in denyingthe reality of matter. He was quite rebellious at first about sayingwhat seemed such a huge lie, but finally concluded to do the best hecould, and so said it over and over one day till he fell asleep.Suddenly he was awakened by the words sounding in his ears, 'Be notafraid, but trust,' and opening his eyes, he saw written on the wall thevery same words, and immediately a restfulness and satisfaction cameover him, so that he no longer demurred at the thought of saying thewords and, though he did not yet understand, he felt willing to wait.
"Oh, how I wish the great busy world would listen to this beautifuldoctrine. It seems that we must compel it to come to the feast. I thinkwe all feel like a child delightedly showing its new toy to everybody.But the little experience I have had before, will teach me to withholdwhere there is antagonism to the truth, beautiful though it is, becausemy work at home even with my cure, did not interest or convince somewho would shut their eyes and ears to all. I remember so well how I feltlike shouting to everyone in my joy the glad story of my recoveredhealth, but the cold, incredulous looks, and the averted faces chilledthe tidings on my lips, and I learned that only when the world isthirsty, will it appreciate the cool and sparkling waters of truth.
"Well, dear John, I have not answered your letter at all because I wasso afraid I would forget the substance of the lesson to-day, but I am soglad it seems plain to you as I present it, and it is such a help toknow you are glad I came here. How we shall grow together when we_begin_ together. Continue to write your opinions and ideas of thelessons, for you have such a clear way of expressing yourself. Don't letJamie forget to write again when you all write. Bless his dear littleself! I would so like to see him, but then, I know all is well with you,for Good is everywhere.
"Good night and good-bye,
"MARION."