CHAPTER II.
"Christianity is not a theory or a speculation, but a _life_; not a philosophy of life, but a life and a living process."--_Coleridge._
Kate Turner walked slowly along the street at the foot of Terrace Hill.She looked up at the beautiful home where she had spent the previousevening, and as she saw the velvet lawn and terraced walks bordered withbright flowers, she half pitied herself because she was only a ploddingmusic teacher. She was not envious, but she had such longing aspirationsto be somebody in the world; she wanted so many things, needed so muchto complete her education, and starved herself in so many ways for thesake of completing it, that sometimes she grew discontented with herlot. Fortunately her moods did not last long, however, and especiallywhen she went home to her artist friend, Grace, with whom she sharedrooms. They were both making their own way in the world, and were agreat help to each other, as well as a great comfort.
Kate was wondering what Mrs. Hayden did every day with her leisure. Sheshould think she would be tired always going to parties and lunches andoperas, or receiving calls. "But then, I am thankful to know her," sheconcluded, casting a last glance at the stately mansion before turningthe corner. "After all, life might be worse for me, and I can be a happynobody if not a famous somebody," she said to herself, as she ranupstairs, after stopping at the baker's for a loaf of bread and a pot ofjam.
"Well, Gracious, what noble message have you given to the world throughyour work to-day?" she cried, a moment later, gaily peering into thestudio through the _portieres_ that separated their parlor from the workroom.
"Is that you, Kate? Well, I've been trying the whole afternoon to makethis Hebe look like a modern Hypatia, but----"
"In other words," interrupted Kate, "you would change innocence intointellect. Now, look here, Grace, just leave this dainty girl alone. Shewould never do to serve the gods if you gave her the aspect and bearingof a goddess. Let her alone, or the world would not recognize her as arepresentative woman," laughed Kate, inspecting the picture withcritical eyes.
"Kate, stop laughing, and tell me truly if you think it would not do togive her a little more independence."
"You know it's the worst thing in the world to give a woman even aninkling that such a thing exists," said the mischievous Kate, with atotal abandonment to consequences as she gave the artist an impetuoushug.
"Well, let us have tea, and we'll discuss the subject later," saidGrace, somewhat mollified.
"I am afraid, Gracious, you are something in the same mood I was when Istarted home to-night, but I concluded to let 'dull care' take care ofitself, and be merry while the sun shines, which means as long as wehave enough to pay our rent, and the prospect of a little more nextmonth," continued Kate as she brought a tiny oil stove from the depthsof a closet and proceeded to "put the kettle on."
"I have been so full of thoughts of the nineteenth century that I foundit hard to go back to the Pagan ages, but here this picture is ordered,and I must finish it by next week, so I guess this one will have to gowithout my message," said Grace, a little gloomily, for above all thingsshe loved to put her own individuality into her pictures, which shegenerally did with rare success.
"You mustn't have just one ideal of woman, or you'll lose the art ofpainting the sweetest phases of womanhood," replied the busy housemaidfrom the sepulchral closet.
"Oh! if I have such excellent models as you make in that checked apronand dusting cap, I can do nobly."
Grace laughed good humoredly as she cleaned her palette and set Hebe inone corner.
"Now, my dear, isn't there something I can do to help arrange thefeast?" as she went into the little back room they used for a kitchen.
"Yes, wash the grapes and open the jam while I cut the bread and pourthe tea."
A few minutes later they were _tete-a-tete_ at the little table, and asthey sat down Grace said with a comical smile: "Quite a differencebetween our banquet of last night and this, isn't there?"
"I should remark there is, but after all, Grace, I believe I am quitecontent. As I was passing along at the foot of the hill this evening amomentary dissatisfaction came over me that I couldn't have a fewadvantages _like_ Mrs. Hayden's, not hers of course, but similar ones,"with a smile at the distinction, "and then I wondered how she spends allher leisure, for of course she has the whole twenty-four hours at herdisposal, and--well, to be brief, I would not want to live without someobject in life, and so I thought it best the way it is now."
"Very wise conclusion, Kate, that's just what I always say, and reallywho is there with whom we would care to exchange places? There are somany kinds of people and so many things for humanity to contend against,I don't know that I should want to change burdens with anyone."
"Mrs. Dyke, for instance, would you not think yourself fortunate to belike her?" said Kate, with a merry twinkle in her eyes.
"Oh, deliver me from that comparison! Why, she carries everybody's sinson her shoulders; I even heard she had taken Robert Elsmere to throw atthe world!" laughed Grace.
"But not his wife; she didn't read about her. Wasn't it too funny tohear her go on last night, and the way she looked at the minister toemphasize her position?"
"Yes, but how many there are like her--read just enough to know thereare such and such characters and such and such incidents. Now of courseshe has heard the minister define Robert's crime, as he would call it Isuppose, so she thinks she can use the whole argument," replied Grace, alittle scornfully.
"Mrs. Hayden interposed just at the right time. I was glad she did, too.It seems she has considered Catherine's position and could speak a goodword for her," said Kate, sipping her tea, thoughtfully.
"Well, if she calls her an ideal of wifely love, I don't admire thereality," exclaimed Grace, with more vigor than elegance, as she putdown her tea-cup.
"I got positively impatient," she continued, "when I read about hercruelty to Robert, judging him in that inquisitor's fashion. Poorfellow! _I_ think he died of a broken heart."
"But, Grace, she did what she thought was her religious duty, and itmust have been hard for her to withdraw herself so completely when sheloved him so much," said the more charitable Kate.
"Do you call that love which would let him go tramping off alone, withnot even a word of sympathy, and so afraid that her religion would becontaminated she could not even hear him preach? I don't pretend to bereligious, but any religion stands on a poor foundation if it can beswept away by anybody's opinions."
"It wasn't that; it was because she thought it was wrong to listen toheresy, as she supposed it was, and----"
"How did she know? Had she taken pains to find out? Did she study itcarefully and have a reason for her cruel judgment?" interrupted thewrathful Grace.
"Well, she was conscientious and was doing what she had been taught wasright."
"Kate, if there is anything that makes me out of patience with peopleit is when they hang all their actions on what somebody else says, andthat excuse is simply barbarous in this case."
"Remember that in religion one must follow what he thinks to be right,and Catherine Elsmere represents a large class of people; in fact, themajority of religious people."
Kate was naturally inclined to be charitable, and this, added to herearly training in a religious home, as well as her position as a churchmember, made her understand Catherine's position from a conscientiousstandpoint much more than Grace. She could readily appreciate the fixedlaw of conscience Catherine had made for herself by pledging her sacredword of honor to her father, whom she revered as an infallibleauthority, as most people revere the legends and doctrines of thechurch.
"I admit that it is right to follow the dictates of one's ownconscience, but I believe in having an enlightened conscience, and areason for opinions. For that matter, so did Robert have a conscience,and while I don't understand his religion, I respect his honesty andeffort. There are a great many beautiful things in what he says, butthere must be a mistake somewhere in a religion that can not sa
ve to theuttermost, and his didn't. I haven't found one that does," said Grace,with some irony.
"Nevertheless, Grace, there is nothing to warrant your assertion in theBible. The Christian religion is full of the most blessed promises ofsalvation in _everything_," said Kate, gently, but flushing a little asshe spoke, for she disliked talking religion with Grace, who was soskeptical, although if compelled to do so, it was a matter of duty tostand up for her Christian principles.
"Yes, I admit it gives many wonderful promises, but where are theyrealized? It seems to me the very fact that the church has not proventhem, made such people as Robert Elsmere doubt them even as possible offulfillment."
"Why Grace, surely _you_ don't disbelieve in the power of God to fulfillthe promises?" exclaimed Kate, deeply pained.
"I am talking from Robert Elsmere's standpoint," answered Grace,evasively.
"My sympathy is with Catherine, for to her, religion was a living answerto her deepest needs and feelings, and to doubt that answer was nothingless than sacrilege," said Kate, with a bright red spot on either cheek.
"Well," answered Grace, throwing down her napkin, "I want to see areligion that will stand infinite investigation without falling intoruins, and Robert reasoned himself away from the old beliefs and dogmasbecause he investigated them. He used his God-given reason, and I thinkthat is to be used as well as the blind, unquestioning faith ofCatherine."
"There are times when we need faith and times when we need reason, butfaith applies to religion and reason to the things of the world,"replied Kate, recalling what she had heard a few Sundays before.
"Well, to me the ideal of religion is a marriage, a union of faith andreason--but this is idle talk. What does anybody know of such perfectionas I demand anyway?"
Grace impatiently pushed her chair away from the table, and went to lookat her picture again, in a decidedly gloomy mood.