The visual of Rand faded and was replaced with what appeared to be images cycling in the mini twister of glitter. I took a few steps closer, not quite able to make out the dancing pictures from where I’d been standing. Once I came closer, the cyclone began to slow and a picture began to take shape, delineating itself into something I recognized. It was the inside of a mansion, the same one I’d seen in my visions of the masquerade party when I’d supposedly been contacting Rose Pierson’s boyfriend. I watched an image of myself, again dressed in the garb of a fairy, walking into a ballroom, only to be greeted by Sinjin, dressed in the costume of a vampire.
“This is how it truly happened, Jolie,” Rand narrated over the images before me. “You met Sinjin two years ago at a masquerade party held for the creatures of the Underworld.”
I shook my head, not wanting to believe a word of it. I had no memory of this, nothing that would in any way help me believe it. It was just Rand’s artifice again, his powers of persuasion.
That image of the mansion died away, only to be replaced with one of Christa and me standing in the living room of a house I didn’t recognize.
“This is Pelham Manor, my home in Alnwick, England. You and Christa moved here with me so I could act as your protector and tutor,” Rand continued as the image of his living room died away, replaced with pictures of verdant forests and open pasture where bubbles of light frolicked in nature. “You learned from the fae, Jolie. They taught you everything you know.”
I shook my head, not understanding how any of this could be true. I didn’t even know what fae were. Fairies, I guessed.
“I know you don’t know what to think,” he continued. “That all of this sounds crazy to you and you have no memories of it.”
I seconded that. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t want to believe it, couldn’t imagine how it could be true—and if it was true, what did that mean about Sinjin?
It means he’s been lying to you all along, I answered myself.
How, though? You know you first met him when he had a flat tire (even if he orchestrated the flat tire) outside your store.
“I know this is going to sound absurd, Jolie,” Rand continued. I couldn’t really imagine anything sounding more absurd than what he’d already concocted. “This is all possible because time was altered,” he finished.
“What does that mean?” I demanded, even as I realized he couldn’t hear me. I was merely talking to a projection of him. ’Course, he was a warlock, a practitioner of magic, so maybe he could hear me.
“I am certain you have questions about all of this and I can answer all of them, Jolie. We need to meet in person.”
Well, that figured.
“I just need you to trust me, Jolie,” he continued. “Everything you think you know isn’t real. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. Time was manipulated and this is the outcome.”
I still didn’t fully grasp what the hell he was talking about. What was the difference between time travel and time manipulation? Was I supposed to believe that Sinjin—or was it Rand—had stepped into a local time machine and pulled a Marty McFly on me? Not likely.
“I just hope you will be open to the possibilities, Jolie.”
The images died away then and the image of Rand returned. He seemed pensive, as if he were pondering his next words. He glanced up at me and amazingly seemed to make eye contact with me even though he was just a hologram. It was eerie and sort of spooked me out.
“I never meant to frighten you,” he said and then paused, sighing. “Nothing has worked out the way I hoped it would so far. I would never hurt you, Jolie. Please believe that.”
And then the vision blinked a few times and disappeared into the air as if it had never been. I glanced down to see that the glittery particles were also gone. All that remained was the little green box with the peonies and the hummingbird.
And as for me? I was at a complete loss. I just didn’t understand how any of this could be true, how Sinjin could have actually met me in a situation I didn’t remember, wasn’t familiar with. Or how I had apparently spent so much time with Rand, when as far as I was aware, I’d only met him a few days ago.
The answer is time travel, a voice rang out within me.
This is ridiculous! I thought back. I can’t believe I’m even entertaining the possibility.
Well, you believe in vampires, warlocks, and witches, right? What’s a little time travel then?
I shook my head. No, I don’t believe it, I won’t believe it. Nothing that warlock said is true. Sinjin said Rand is only trying to control me, that he’s dangerous and I should stay away from him.
And that was when I made up my mind not to put any trust in Rand.
I was agitated, nervous about the fact that Rand knew where I lived. How he’d gotten my address was anyone’s guess, but it made me feel like I wasn’t safe in my own house anymore—that any moment he could drop by in person.
Hurrying to the Jetta, I buckled up, started the car, and backed out of my garage, heading for Sinjin’s. I needed to see him, now more than ever before, needing the strength of his embrace. And, furthermore, he would know what to do.
I drove the five minutes to Sinjin’s house in silence. Well, the radio might have been on but I couldn’t say I noticed it if it was. Instead I was trying to construct an apology for Sinjin, trying to think of a way to say I knew last night had been my fault, that I’d overreacted and, consequently, been a dumb-ass.
What if he doesn’t accept your apology? I asked myself.
I took a deep breath. That’s a risk I’m going to run, I guess.
At his house I didn’t bother with parallel parking on the street out front. Instead I pulled into the driveway, hoping Sinjin wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon because I was completely blocking the garage.
Maybe he isn’t here, I said to myself.
Well, there’s only one way to find out.
I opened the car door and stood up, holding my head high as I steeled myself for what I was about to do. Without waiting any longer, I closed the car door and strode up Sinjin’s walkway, not pausing as I reached for the doorbell and pressed.
There was no answer, so I rang it again.
I was convinced he wasn’t home, and had started to leave when I heard the door open. Feeling my heart in my throat, I turned to face Sinjin, my heart now racing.
“My pet?”
“I, uh, I came to tell you a few things,” I started.
Sinjin just smiled at me languidly, as if he had no idea how stunningly handsome he was in his black shirt and slacks. “Oh?” he asked.
I cleared my throat, wondering where the speech that I had planned to make had gone. It was like it was hibernating and now I had only my nerves to rely on. “Yes,” I said.
Sinjin chuckled and held the door wide. “Come in, my love, I do not like to see you shivering in the cold night air.”
I didn’t say anything but nodded and entered his house, trying to get my nerves in order.
“Come,” he said and took my hand, leading me upstairs.
“Where are we going?” I demanded, all too aware that Sinjin’s bedroom was upstairs.
“To my bedchamber,” he answered nonchalantly. “I was repairing a faulty light switch.”
I smiled at the thought of Sinjin repairing anything. He didn’t really have the essence of “handyman.”
“Okay,” I said as I followed him up the stairs and into his bedroom, my heart in my throat the entire time.
“I am pleased to see you, love,” he said. “I did not care for the way our last visit ended.”
I swallowed hard. “About that,” I started.
But then Sinjin turned his attention to me and smiled sweetly. He opened his arms and I smiled in return, falling into them. I rested my head against his chest and toyed with the buttons on his shirtfront.
“I am waiting,” he said with a chuckle, his breath tickling the top of my ear.
I glanced up at hi
m. Time for my apology. “I’m sorry I freaked out and stormed out of here,” I said with a guilty smile. “This is all just pretty new for me and I guess I’m having a hard time with it.”
Sinjin nodded. “Apology accepted.”
I laughed and shook my head, pleased and relieved by the fact that Sinjin never seemed to take things too seriously, that he could find it in himself to see beyond my issues. “Thank you.”
“And I would like to apologize as well, poppet.”
I glanced at him curiously. “For what?”
“For leading you to believe that I do not care for you,” he said, his eyes pools of concern. “The truth is very much the opposite.”
I frowned. “I’m not sure you did lead me to believe that. I think it was just a conclusion I reached all on my own.”
“I—hm.” He cleared his throat and then smiled over at me as if he hadn’t been about to just say something.
“You what?”
He swallowed hard and stepped away, turning his back on me as he faced the window. That was when I realized Sinjin may have been an all-powerful master vampire, but he had his own fear—showing emotion. It was as obvious as the tightness in his shoulders, the rigidity of his whole body.
“Finish what you were going to say, Sinjin,” I said, wanting—no, needing—to hear the words from him.
Instead of turning to face me, he stared out at the clouds that were obscuring the moonlight. It made the dark night sky a fuzzy haze. It looked like the backdrop to a horror movie.
“I am not a man who confesses love,” he said and turned around, facing me. His lips were tight. “It is not in my nature.”
“I never asked for that, nor would I,” I said immediately, thinking it ludicrous that he’d even brought the L-word up.
“The truth is that I have wanted to make you my own from the moment I met you,” he said quickly, his eyes penetrating me to my core. He took a step closer. “I have lusted after your body, yes, but my need to possess you did not end there.” He shook his head and continued inspecting me. “There is something about you that fascinates me.” He paused for a few seconds. “You have always fascinated me.”
I shook my head, refusing to allow my heart to rejoice because there was a time-line issue here—something that waved a red flag and prevented me from succumbing to the beauty of his sentiments. “You act as though we’ve known each other for a lot longer than we actually have.”
“Perhaps that is because we have known each other in ways time cannot specify,” he said simply. I felt my stomach drop. The vision of Sinjin at that masquerade party suddenly reared its ugly head again.
“What do you mean?” I demanded.
He shrugged, and whatever he was going to admit died on his tongue. “A day, a week, a month are mere moments of time, love. They mean nothing in terms of the soul’s understanding. How can you qualify or, for that matter, quantify my feelings for you based on that?” He shook his head. “You cannot.”
I couldn’t argue with that, so I chose another tack. “Then what are you saying?”
He took a few steps closer to me until we were face-to-face, er, face-to-chest. “I am doing a rather poor job of explaining my desire to be your mentor, teacher, and protector. More urgently, my desire is to be your lover, the one man to capture your heart.” He suddenly grabbed both of my arms, pulling me into him. He was going to kiss me; I could see it in his eyes. “I want to be the man who haunts your dreams and thoughts, the man whom you cannot live without.”
I wasn’t sure when it happened, but at some point during Sinjin’s admission, I simply stopped breathing. Suddenly light-headed, I remembered my respiratory system and tried to take a deep breath but, before I could get a word out, Sinjin’s mouth was on mine. His tongue immediately entered my mouth and I was shocked to find my body’s response dominating my brain’s. My tongue met his fervently and I felt myself lapping at him, wrapping my arms around his neck so that I was as close to him as possible. He pulled me even tighter to him with a moan, and I responded with feelings of lust that I’d kept bottled up for too long. Now they were refusing to be quelled until they were satiated.
And instantly everything was crystal clear.
I wanted Sinjin to make love to me.
I wasn’t sure why I’d suddenly decided to seal the proverbial deal with a vampire, with Sinjin, but there was no going back. It was as if my body had suddenly tasted filet mignon after months of Spam.
I pulled away from his embrace and looked into his eyes, wondering how such an incredible man had arrived in my life, how I had been so lucky. But there was also a part of me, in true Jolie Wilkins form, that wanted to prevent myself from moving to Heartbreak Avenue. I couldn’t allow those feelings of doubt to penetrate me now, though. Not now when whatever I was feeling for Sinjin seemed to be natural, right.
“Sinjin, swear to me that everything you said is true,” I whispered, knowing that whatever we did here tonight was going to change everything. Yes, I was attached to Sinjin now. But I also knew myself well enough to know that if I had sex with him, I would become even more attached, and if our relationship failed, my anguish would be all the worse.
Anguish if it fails …
Who am I kidding? Sinjin is a vampire; of course it will fail!
But there was something in me that wanted to take the leap anyway, to believe in what could be. And, really, who’s to say that a vampire can’t sustain a healthy emotional relationship?
Um, he’s been around for six hundred years, so chances are he’s going to get bored with you in, oh, I’d say a week—max. I mean, come on, he’s got 572 years on you! What could you possibly offer him? How could you even hope to prolong his interest?
Shut up, you stupid voice!
“Poppet,” Sinjin started, tearing my attention from my mental debate and refocusing it on the beauty of his ice-blue eyes. “Sometimes I marvel at the thoughts going through that brain of yours,” he finished and chuckled, shaking his head in apparent wonder.
I smiled, embarrassed. “Sorry … I, uh, sometimes get into arguments with myself.”
“Why does that not surprise me?” His archangel’s grin combined with a cocked eyebrow told me he was nothing if not amused. But a few seconds later, the look of delight was replaced by a solemn expression. “Everything I have told you is true, love, and it reflects my innermost feelings.” He studied my face and became silent as he secured a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. Then he added, “You have certainly burrowed your way into my heart—something I never imagined could happen.”
I felt warmth penetrating me at his words, and even though something inside me still doubted them, and must have recognized the fact that I was walking out on an emotional limb, I didn’t care. I had never pursued a man before, and it was time for me to step out of my comfort zone. I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn’t. Sinjin Sinclair was not the type of man who came into your life every day. He was a once-in-a-lifetime prospect, and I wasn’t about to let him get away. “Sinjin, I want to know that this will be lasting … something long-term.”
He stayed silent but continued gazing at me. Something in his expression, however, seemed out of place—a triumphant gleam just beyond the ice-blue veil of his eyes. “It will last as long as you will allow it, love.” He took a deep breath that, once again, was only for show. “I have always been by your side, poppet, and so shall I always remain.”
I could feel the smile spreading across my lips, involuntarily echoing the joy that was blooming within me. “Then you aren’t opposed to a real relationship?”
He smiled. “Nothing would please me more.”
And that was enough for me. Without another word, I tightened my hold around his neck, pulling him closer to me. I closed my eyes and felt his lips on mine, and this time, his kiss was hungry, needy—seemingly insatiable. He pulled me into him, and I could feel his hardness beneath his pants. I felt the flame of excitement radiate through my entire being as a sense of we
ightlessness flashed through me.
Somehow—and I wasn’t sure what I’d done to warrant the gift; this incredible man, this exquisite (dare I say it?) vampire, had fallen for me … Me! It was almost too good to be true. Thankfully, I was beyond the point of self-doubt now. No, I was a new Jolie Wilkins—like a phoenix rising from the ashes of the old wallflower. Someone who now acted without doubt, someone who was going to blaze her own way in the world and stake her claim.
I caught my breath, surprised to discover that I was panting. I had to tell him what I wanted—no, needed. “Sinjin, I want you to make love to me.”
He said nothing, merely stared at me for a few seconds, a smile on his lips. Then he hoisted me into his arms and started for the bed. I couldn’t breathe—couldn’t force myself to inhale or exhale. “You do not know how I have longed to hear those words, love,” he said in a deep, throaty voice.
But I couldn’t take my eyes away from his fangs as a tremor of fear and excitement erupted through me. “Are you going to bite me?”
“Only if you want me to, but as I mentioned, it would be painful as you are a witch.”
Somehow the idea of Sinjin feeding from me was the most enticing, erotic thought possible. I couldn’t even fathom the idea of pain. I didn’t even hesitate. “I want you to.”
He chuckled heartily and, standing above me, eyed me up and down with approval.
“Sinjin?” I started.
“Shh.” He shook his head as his gaze raked me from head to toe. “I want to paint every moment with you into my memory, poppet.”
“I had no idea you were such a poet,” I said with a nervous laugh.
How are you going to go through with this? You aren’t like Christa, Jolie. You haven’t had sex in … how long?
Shut it!
God, you can’t even remember because it’s been so long. What if he thinks you’re a total bore in the sack? What if …
I closed my eyes and shook my head, ordering those damn voices in my brain to take a hike. Then I remembered I wasn’t alone and my eyes shot open as I focused on my incredibly handsome bed partner.