“I knew it,” he bellows as he turns from me angrily. “I knew it when you danced around the issue back at the lake.” He turns back to me, “You plan on going back to Pathen when this is all done, aren’t you?”
“Oh my God, Tharin, will you get a grip? All I’m saying is that...”
“No, Lily, all I want to hear you say is one thing, Lily, just one thing. Is it that difficult to say?”
I stare at him, flabbergasted. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He turns and runs his hand through his hair roughly and takes a deep breath before facing me again. He steps closer but doesn’t touch me.
“Lily, do you love me?”
I come up short. “What? Why would you even ask me, Tharin?”
“Are you serious?” he asks as if stunned. “I know you didn’t want to get married, granted, but you didn’t have to be so obvious about it during your walk down death row to the altar. And if I recall, you wanted to have a choice. What other choice is there, Lily? Please tell me because I thought you felt the same way I did and being at the altar was it. And, now...now you’re telling me you don’t want to have my children?”
“Our children, Tharin. They would be our children.” I turn from him my own frustration surfacing. “This is what I’m talking about. It’s your world, your rules, your life based on your vision.” I turn back to him. “I want my voice back, Tharin.”
I watch as his body language changes. He steps back from me and I suddenly feel like a drowning person who just lost grip of her life line. He lowers his head, fingers to his lip as if recalling a past thought.
“I see,” he says quietly. “So, all this time that’s what you felt I was taking from you, your voice?”
“Yes, no...That’s not what I meant.” I try to tie in my thoughts, trying to find the right words to express them. I’m confused and no longer know what I am trying to say, or want to say. “I’m just trying to tell you how I feel.”
“I have never kept you from saying what you want or need to say, Lily” he says quietly. “I have given you every opportunity to express yourself, telling myself to be patient. I kept reminding myself you just needed time because everything happening to us is a first time ever for you.” He puts his hands on my shoulders, continuing. “But you can’t tell me you don’t know if you love me or not. It can’t be that difficult for you to say it, unless you truly don’t feel that way.”
“Tharin,” I say slowly, taking a breath. “You know I do, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.” He lets his hands drop and steps back. “Please, all I’m saying is that...”
“...that you want a choice,” he finishes.
“Yes,” I say deflated, somehow no longer caring what I have to say. This isn’t how I wanted this to go.
I note his stance again. His shoulders back, chin up, but his arms are at his side. I know this time is different and I take a step toward him.
“Tharin, I’m only eighteen. Before you came into my life, I had a life, it wasn’t much, but it was mine. I wanted to go to college, I wanted to take a summer in Europe and study anything and everything foreign. I wanted to start a business with Julia and make money at what we love to do. And...and I wanted to fall in love, be proposed to, get in engaged and then get married among friends and family. I wanted to plan a family with my husband, together.” I become even more deflated as I finish. “I wanted to live the experience.”
Tharin continues to stare me in the eye, and then nodding he says, “All right, Lily. I’ll give you what you want. When this is over and done, I’ll take you back to Pathen as it’s clear to me that that is your choice.”
I am speechless; I don’t know what to say. Is this how it is? I can only have one choice? I feel my emotions overtaking me and when I look at him, he doesn’t seem to care. But he is right. I have said it more than once that I wanted to go home, but that was then. Now…now I am home.
“Tharin.” I take a step toward him, but he backs up. He gives me a slight bow, walks out the double doors and into the garden. I watch as he makes his way into the rain and down the path to the Oak Tower.
What just happened?
Watching him walk away from me is like having Mirnuk punch a hole in my chest. This isn’t fair. All I wanted to say was I didn’t want to have kids right away; that I want to enjoy life first – with him as a couple. Yes, I do want to return to Pathen, but I want him to come with me. I didn’t mean he took my voice, but that I had buried inside when this all started and didn’t know how to speak up again. Everything moved so fast for me, I just needed time to catch up.
But that was then, and this is now. I know in my heart that if I ask him to wait on having kids, he would say yes. If I ask him to let me go back to Pathen to continue my education, he would pack up and go with me. I am such an idiot. He told me at the altar that he would give me anything and everything to make me happy. I just need to ask for it. And what does he want? There is only one thing he wants from me and I was too much of a coward to give it to him. But not anymore.
I run out into the garden, into the rain and follow after him down the path back to the Oak Tower. I know he is angry so he probably took off at full speed. I adjust my own speed to try and catch up. I focus on the path, ignoring the rain, determined to reach Tharin and tell him how I feel. Tell him what he deserves to hear and if I have to, beg him to believe me. I shake my head and at the same time laugh out loud at how simple it all is.
“I love him,” I yell at the gray skies, refusing to let the downpour drown out my words. I push my limit despite knowing my energy will be exhausted before making it to the tower. I have to reach him and let him know I believe in his vision about our babies and to share with him Jarhan’s message.
One of our daughters will carry the Dragon Seed.
~ * ~
Chapter Twenty-Six
~ Tharin ~
I start to take the path back to the Oak Tower, but at the last minute change my mind. Instead, I head toward the south side of the Willow and make my way back to the king’s suite where I know the others would be waiting. I had the queen’s suites blocked off to create my surprise for Lily. With my aunt’s help, we were able to bring forth every type of flower from our mother’s gardens. Lily doesn’t know it, but gardenias were her mother’s favorite; a gift from John from his last trip to Pathen.
In one of the spare rooms I had a small breakfast setup for just the two of us. I wanted to have a quiet moment with Lily to make plans and discuss our future, even if it ends up only being a fantasy if things don’t go well at the doorway. At least for a while I thought we could share a moment as husband and wife.
I reach the king’s balcony and decide to stay outside for awhile to calm down. Besides, I don’t feel like being around anyone at the moment. I shake my head, running my hands through my hair as if both actions would erase the scene I just had with Lily. I don’t understand how it got to the point of my promising to take her back to Pathen and then end up walking away from her. Because you promised her everything and anything to make her happy, I remind myself. And, if that means taking her back to Pathen and letting her live a life without me, then so be it.
Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
All my life I have been trained and prepared to be king, learned to control the power within me and how to use my abilities without hurting the people I care about and love. The responsibility of our people, of the clans, of our realm I carried on my young shoulders without any sign of buckling. My life was order and discipline, hard and…lonely. And then a five-foot one, one-hundred and five pound girl comes into my life and punches me in the face with her tiny fist. She calmed the Malainisi beast with a gentle rub at her tummy and penetrated the steel armor of Velesi’s First Greaneth. She turned my family against me in that they would do me bodily harm if I cause one of her tears to fall. She knocked me off my high horse and filled me with a kind of love I have never felt before. The kind that lifts you so high, no one ca
n touch you.
“Tharin?”
“Aunt Bi’irea,” I answer without turning around.
“Why are you here?” she asks. “I thought you were having breakfast with Lily? Tharin?”
I remain with my back toward her, not saying a word.
“Tharin,” she calls testily, “at least come in from the rain. You’ll catch your death.”
After a few more minutes of silence, she threatens, “Fine. If you won’t come in, then I will have no choice but to come out to you. And if I catch my death, your uncle and cousin will never forgive you.”
I sigh heavily, knowing damn well she wouldn’t. But then again, what I thought I knew about women went out the door when Lily didn’t stop me from walking away. She could have at least pretended to come after me. That is what I get for assuming to know her and what she really wants.
I turn to my aunt and slowly make my way to her. She hands me a towel that I didn’t notice she was holding at first. I throw it on my head and leave it, keeping it covered.
“Oh, Tharin,” she says. “It couldn’t have been that bad, now could it?”
She waits for an answer that I don’t give. Sighing heavily she continues, “What, she didn’t like the little bread things shaped like puppies you had the chef make?”
“Biscuits. They’re called biscuits, Aunt.”
“Fine, biscuits. What about the flowers? It took us all night to draw their roots into the room. I am sure she liked that, right?”
“Yes, she did. In fact, I believe she was touched by the whole thing,” I answer sullenly.
“Tharin, this isn’t like you and to be honest, you’re being very annoying. Sit up and tell me what’s going on and where is Lily?”
I sigh as I straighten in my seat, tossing the towel beside me. “I left her in the queen’s suite so she can think about her choice to leave me and return to Pathen.”
“Don’t be silly, Lily loves you. I saw it the second I laid eyes on her. Granted she looked frightened and unsure at the ceremony, but…” I groan out loud, my eyes turned upward, seeking patience. “Now before you go off, just let me finish. She’s young and she was raised in the realm of men. You’ve been prepared for this all your life, and how much time has she had?”
When I don’t respond, she reaches over and takes one of my hands, forcing me to look at her.
“What did you expect?” she asks gently.
“Oh, I don’t know, for her to finally tell me she loves me? I mean, after all, it’s obvious to everyone else, right?”
“Tharin, be still, my king,” her words and her will sent to calm my heated temper, sooths me and I begin to relax.
“I don’t know what to expect anymore, Aunt Bi. I know she loves me, I feel it every time she’s near me, when she touches me, when we sit and speak of everything and when we speak of nothing.”
“Is that not enough?”
I think about that for a moment. “No. I thought it would be, but for some reason I can’t explain, I need to hear her say it. To look me in the eye and tell me she loves me.” After another moment of silence, I shake my head and look at her. “Maybe you’re right. I am a fool. It’s ridiculous for the King to be defeated by such emotions. I’ve opened myself to her and she has broken me.”
She takes me by the chin with tender fingers and looks me in the eye. “You are only a fool in love. And there is nothing wrong with that, king or not.”
I am touched by her words and I take her hand, kissing it in gratitude.
“Now, go back to her and this time let her say her peace,” she urges.
I shake my head again. “No. I think we both need some time to think this over. I need time to think this over.”
My aunt smiles and gets up, leans over and kisses me on the head, saying, “You deserve her and she you.”
She leaves me to my thoughts which I am grateful for, but the solitude I seek is short lived.
“Hey,” greets Julia. “What are you doing here? I thought you were with Lily?”
“Ah,” says Tolan from behind her. “She didn’t like the breads you had chef make for her?
“Biscuits,” I correct absently. “They’re called biscuits.”
Julia turns to Tolan, asking, “Yeah, about that – why don’t you have biscuits here?”
“We do have biscuits,” laughs Tolan. “We just refer to them as breads.”
“Oh.” She smiles back at him. “Just asking.”
He wraps his arms around her from behind and leans in, giving her a kiss.
“Lily is back at the queen’s suite,” I say, getting up and moving to the edge of the overhang looking out.
I can sense the change in their attitudes as Julia says, “Um, I think I’ll check on Lily.”
Tolan waits until she leaves before moving to my side.
“Is everything all right?”
I sigh again and refuse to think of the matter with Lily any further, at least for now.
“It will be.” I half smile and he nods, letting it drop.
Changing the subject, I ask, “Is everyone ready?”
“Yes. Ziri is with Colsea and Mellis going over strategic placement of the men. Alorn, of course, was up early and left the Willow before light. He wanted to see what’s happening in the city and reconnect with some of his intel.” Staring out into the distance, he asks, “What of the Kufftai?”
“Colsea was able to reach Motai earlier this morning. The wolf leader recognized him as a direct bloodline of Kalinest and allowed him to speak on behalf of the Oak. He is mourning the passing of his king, Ka, but has promised to be here during the summoning.”
Tolan glances back at the double doors and then leans in. “Tharin, what can you tell me of Frank and Chris? Did you run into them?”
I nod. “But I wasn’t close. They were coming out of one of the tunnels when I came for you and Lily.”
He shakes his head, disappointed. “Lily should have told me when they passed us in the tunnel. I would have taken care of them then.”
“And gotten you both killed in the process,” I interject. “There were more than half a dozen with them in the tunnel. I saw them coming out of the caves before meeting up with you and Lily. You’re good, brother, but not while you had Lily there to worry about.”
“Cessa was with us, and as you know, Lily is becoming more adept with her abilities and damn good at it,” he shoots back.
“She had her reasons,” is the only response I give him.
He moves back to his chair and sits back. “Julia hasn’t said much about them except that they’re here. I can only guess they will try and take her to get to either Lily or me, or both. But here’s the thing, why would Harlu and Kolinest need two humans from Pathen to take Julia? They have people who are more capable.”
I think it over before answering. “Alorn told me they ran into Frank and Chris at the hospital. He said Julia froze, I mean scared to death paralyzed, and if he didn’t take her out of the room when he did, they would have been discovered. It’s easier to take a submissive Julia than one who will fight to her death for her friend.”
“Submissive?”
“Frank has a hold on Julia that no one else can break but her,” I reply. “And, she needs to do it before something happens to him or she’ll remain his prisoner long after he’s gone. She’s come a long way, Tolan. Let’s give her the chance to take back what he took. If she’s unable to, then you can take care of him and his son.”
Tolan is quiet, lost in his own thoughts and then finally says, “Yes, yes I will.”
“Besides, I believe Kolinest needs them,” I add.
“He needs them? Why?”
I look off into the rain. “Something Ka shared with me during the passing of his core energy. It was fleeting, but I believe I have an idea of Kolinest’s plans. He has followers here in Velesi, even during his time of imprisonment, and I’m pretty sure he still has followers in Eirrell. He’ll need someone in Pathen to help him acclimate to their wo
rld. Someone he can easily manipulate to help with his plan for the destruction of their realm. There are three things Lily told me that motivates Frank. Greed, ego, and Julia. And Kolinest knows it, too. He’ll give Julia back to him in exchange for his servitude.”
“Not going to happen,” states Tolan simply.
“No, it’s not. Dorlan and Kalis have come to the same conclusion that Kolinest’s plan doesn’t include anyone, not even Aureinia. He plans to kill everyone before moving onto Eirrell. And since the demons from the UnderRealm can’t be killed, he only has to summon them from any realm he’s in.”
“But what of Lily? You told me she killed the demon Falsad?”
“Yes, she did, but she can’t kill an entire army of them. I’m thinking that part of the gift is from her direct bloodline to the Unnamed Sidhe. I believe he can destroy an army of demons and then some.”
Julia rushes out from the suites. “Tharin, where is Lily? I’ve checked the queen’s suite, our rooms, and the garden. I can’t find her anywhere. Could she be somewhere else in the Willow?”
Did she come after me? I look at the path I took to get here, sending my senses back to the queen’s garden. Nothing, damn it. If she did come after me then she would have thought I was heading back to the Oak Tower.
“Where is she?” demands Julia, a worried look on her face.
“I think I have an idea.” I turn to Tolan. “Proceed as planned, get everyone ready. We’ll meet you at the garden.”
“Tharin, wait let us come…” starts Tolan.
I don’t let him finish. “When you see Alorn, send him to the garden.” I walk up to Julia, “I need this.”
I reach behind her and release the chain from around her neck. I give her a look of gratitude before turning away and heading back the way I came.
I backtrack to the path leading to the Oak Tower, sending my senses out. I see her footprints and a desperate need to get to her overwhelms me. Whether Harlu has found a way into the queen’s suite or not, there still could be danger waiting for Lily. I speed forward without another thought but soon realize by the pattern of Lily’s footprints she used her newly found ability to try and catch up with me. With the amount of time since I left her and at the speed she is going, I am guessing she will run out of energy soon. I should reach her within an hour. Her footprints, her essence, are fading fast because of the rain. It doesn’t matter; there is only one place she will end up and that’s the garden. Hopefully she will have the sense to hide within the pando forest. The tree trunks of the pando are too slender to provide shelter, so she won’t be able to call up a thela. I just pray that Harlu hasn’t found a way to enter the queen’s suite.