I sigh quietly and place my hands on his chest, keeping him at bay.
‘Come on, we should go back to the green room. The others will be wondering what we’re doing.’
‘Let them wonder,’ he says, taking my hands and pulling me closer.
‘Jack, are you trying to give the game away?’ I ask with a frown.
‘Maybe,’ he replies in a low voice, caressing my cheek.
I pull back from him. ‘Do you mean it?’
He shrugs. ‘That’s what you want, isn’t it?’
‘They’ll be angry.’
‘So?’ He raises one eyebrow.
‘What if you and I split up?’ I ask.
‘I think this is heading the other way, don’t you?’ He gives me a significant look.
‘What do you mean?’ I ask. ‘If you’re talking about—’
‘I said we’d take it slow,’ he interrupts me. ‘Didn’t I?’
‘Yes, but…’ My thoughts jump to Tom and Isla. I still feel stung that he slept with her recently, but at least they were in love when they lost their virginity to each other.
‘Tell me what you’re thinking,’ he states.
I look at him, square in the eye, and force myself to open up to him. ‘Jack, I don’t want to do that with someone who doesn’t love me.’
His eyebrow twitches as he stares down at me.
‘Come on,’ I say downheartedly, stepping away from him. ‘We really should join the others.’
‘Hey, we’re not done here,’ he states, as I begin to walk away.
‘I think we are. For now, anyway,’ I reply, casting a regretful look at him as I approach the green room.
He strides over and places his hand on the door handle, his eyes flashing as he stares down at me.
‘I’ve never been in love, so I don’t know if this is it, but what I feel for you is pretty fucking intense,’ he says in a low voice, yanking open the door. ‘Just so you know,’ he throws back at me before stalking into the room.
Chapter 19
My mind is reeling as we wait backstage for the band before us to finish their fifth and final song. Jack’s last words to me keep replaying over and over inside my head. He doesn’t know what love is, but he more or less said that this could be it.
I’ve been on edge in the green room. He didn’t come and stand with me when I returned to Agnes and Tom, choosing instead to mingle with the other bands. I tried to catch his eye a couple of times, but, if he felt me staring, he didn’t show it.
Now I’m standing with Johnny, and Jack’s talking to a roadie. He feels so far away, but he’s only three metres to my right.
The crowd outside cheers and applauds as the last band finishes up, and then they’re coming offstage.
‘Ready?’ Johnny asks me.
I nod and glance at Jack again.
‘Everything OK?’ Johnny asks.
I nod and look back at him. ‘Better than OK,’ I reply with a small smile.
He raises one eyebrow at me quizzically, but I don’t elaborate, instead turning to watch the roadie hooking Jack up to his electric guitar. Jack glances my way and a jolt goes through me as he meets my eyes at last. I hold his gaze as the seconds tick by.
I want to be with him.
A moment later, his lips tilt up at the corners. Can he read my mind?
He jerks his head, beckoning me over.
‘Good luck,’ Johnny says.
‘Are you sure you won’t go and watch from the front?’ I ask him one last time, coming out of my Jack-induced trance to give him a pleading look.
He shakes his head and purses his lips, then taps my elbow and nods towards Jack.
I sigh and walk away, but my spirits lift as soon as I’m beside my boyfriend.
‘OK?’ he asks, swinging his guitar behind him so the strap stretches across the front of his chest. He slips his hand round my waist and pulls me flush to his side.
‘Ready, All Hypers?’ Brandon interrupts. I jolt, but Jack’s grip on me tightens. I’m pretty sure Brandon notices, but he’s used to his bandmate being tactile.
Miles joins us, too.
‘Is Tom out front?’ he asks me, glancing at Jack’s hand around my waist.
‘I think so. He’s with Agnes,’ I reply edgily.
‘He doesn’t like you much, does he?’ Brandon says to Jack with a cheeky grin.
‘The feeling’s mutual,’ Jack replies drily, reaching out to finger a lock of my hair with his free hand.
Brandon stares at the ceiling and shakes his head. ‘Oh, well, you’ll get over it.’ He pats Jack’s chest and glances in the direction of the crowd. ‘Better let her go now, dude. You don’t want to cause a scene if he sees you like that.’
‘I’m not letting her go,’ Jack states.
Our bandmates freeze, regarding us with trepidation.
‘Tom and I broke up at Christmas,’ I say guiltily. ‘He and I are just friends.’
They look taken aback at my belated revelation, their eyes darting between Jack and me, and then it dawns on them – and they are not happy.
‘You better be fucking kidding me,’ Brandon says furiously.
‘Sorry, I’m not,’ Jack replies, deadly serious. He appears relaxed from the outside, standing there with me in his arms, but I can feel the tension radiating from him.
‘Can we talk about this later?’ I desperately interject. ‘Now is not the time.’
‘There will never be a good time for this,’ Brandon snaps, throwing us both a look of disgust.
‘You’re unbelievable!’ Miles shakes his head at Jack before turning his back on us.
I stare at Jack in dismay. Did he have to do this now?
The stage manager indicates that it’s time for us to go on and I feel sick as Miles and Brandon stalk out on stage to the sound of the crowd cheering.
‘It’ll be OK,’ Jack says, clasping my head to his hard, warm chest so he can plant a kiss on top of it. It’s a fast, sweet gesture and it does make me feel marginally better, but then he lets me go. He flashes me a grin and swings his guitar round to the front, then strides out onstage as Miles starts to hammer his drum kit. I take a deep breath and join them.
Nothing prepares you for the adrenaline of being in front of a big crowd of people. The venue is even more packed than last time – there must be at least five hundred people here. I don’t think I’ll ever feel ready to perform – the nerves will never vanish completely – but will it always be such an incredible rush?
I step up to the mic. The lights are blinding – I can’t see Stu or Tom or my friends. All I can do is sing.
The bass and beat of my bandmates’ instruments reverberate through my body and my voice fills the venue.
Despite what happened only moments ago, I feel on top of the world.
The first two songs fly by. Sometimes the lights on the stage turn on the audience instead and then I seek out my friends, right near the front. I can’t see Stu, but the others are all there, jumping up and down and getting hot and sweaty in the crowd. It is the most amazing high, but it’s so hard to describe. It makes me want to do better. It makes me want to succeed.
By the third song, I’m totally in my element. I have time to take in my surroundings and I notice Johnny backstage, standing in the wings with his arms folded, smiling at me.
I glance at Jack. His dark hair is damp with sweat and falling down across his forehead. He’s wearing a dark graphic T-shirt and his POW! tattoo stands out on his right arm, his biceps lean and muscled. His other tattoo, an intricate criss-crossing bracelet of black ink running round his left wrist, is usually hidden by a series of leather straps, but not today. He is sexy as hell. He grins at me before jumping in the air and pounding his guitar with boundless energy.
I look over my other shoulder and catch Brandon’s eye. He still doesn’t look amused as he gazes back at me, but even he manages a wry smile, and then I turn and walk towards Miles, singing directly to him and trying to make him smile. It
works. He’s still angry, but finally he gives in and grins back at me.
I only just manage to stop myself from laughing into the microphone as I turn round and see Brandon shaking his head, entertained.
Nothing can dampen our enthusiasm while we’re playing. And I have a sudden surge of faith that everything is going to be alright.
The boys play a longer intro to our last song, while I address the audience. I’m slightly stunned at the noise from the crowd when I introduce myself. The stage manager raises the lights so I can see my friends at the front. I introduce the band, starting with Miles and moving onto Brandon. It doesn’t escape my notice that Jack gets the loudest screams. I imagine most of the girls in the audience would give anything to get up close and personal with him.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that, but, as we launch into our final song, I mostly just feel proud.
I don’t want the gig to end but end it does. We walk offstage to raucous applause and shouts for more, and then we’re in each other’s arms in a four-way, sweaty hug, squeezing the life out of each other.
Brandon shoves Jack gently and prods him in his chest.
‘Don’t fuck it up,’ he warns.
Jack takes it on the chin, but I notice he doesn’t make any promises.
I turn away from them and look for Johnny.
‘You were unbelievable,’ he says, laughing as he holds his arms open. I run into them and they close around me.
‘Really?’ I ask hopefully, smiling up at him.
‘Even better than last time.’ He shakes his head at me. ‘Seriously, chick. You really didn’t need me.’
I purse my lips at him in amusement.
‘So what now?’ he asks. ‘Back to the hotel bar for a quick drink before I fly home?’
‘Sounds great. Can I see if the others can come?’
‘’Course. There’s a tour bus waiting outside.’
‘You mean limo?’
‘Nah, swapped it for the tour bus. I didn’t realise how many people you had coming.’
‘Nice one!’ I hold up my hand to high-five him and he raises his eyebrows at me as he drily obliges.
‘Jess?’ Jack calls, nodding towards the stage. ‘They want us to do one more.’
‘Are you serious?’ I glance from him to the stage manager. Nobody else did an encore.
‘Go for it,’ Johnny says with a grin. I’m stunned as I follow my bandmates back into the light.
Chapter 20
‘You look tired,’ I say to Stu. We’ve taken over a whole corner of the hotel bar and everyone is in high spirits. ‘You should probably call it a night,’ I add solemnly.
‘You trying to get rid of me?’ he asks.
‘Yes,’ I state.
He shakes his head good-naturedly. ‘OK, Jess, but you know what Johnny said. Stay—’
‘—in the venue!’ I finish his sentence for him.
Johnny and Sam left half an hour ago, but not before reiterating the rules.
‘I know.’ I nudge Stu’s ribs with my elbow. ‘I’ll see you at breakfast.’
‘Text me when you’re upstairs,’ he replies. ‘So I know you’re safe. No later than midnight.’
‘Come on!’ I squawk.
‘One a.m., then.’
‘OK. One it is. Thanks.’
That was easier than I thought.
I grin at all of my friends as the last of the adults finally leave us. I’m not including Jack’s brother Drew in that description, although he has recently turned twenty-one.
Agnes and Drew are deep in conversation, her dark head and his blond head pressed together. Brandon is, as usual, getting up close and personal with Lottie. I watch them uneasily. He’s a fine one to talk, telling Jack not to mess things up. He has a girlfriend, yet he flirts with Lottie every time he sees her – and she’s affected by it. I don’t know what he’s playing at.
Tom is surrounded by Gina, Margarita, Sienna, Rafe, Jenna, Justin and Peter. They’ve all gone nutty over his English accent.
And Jack is on the other side of me, talking shop to Miles.
I never did ask Johnny about flying my other friends over from the UK. They were all a little off the last time we talked, and I didn’t feel comfortable asking my dad to splash out again so soon after the last time. I was only going to be here for the weekend, so I wouldn’t have seen much of them. Stu has asked me to go home for Spring Break, and that would be nice, but right now I think I’d rather stay here with Jack.
I squeeze his leg.
‘You OK?’ he asks, reaching over and stroking his thumb across my lips. ‘It’s wearing off,’ he notes of my lipstick.
‘Shall I reapply some?’
‘Not if it means I can’t kiss you.’
We smile at each other. I notice Miles taking a sip of his drink and realise that I’ve interrupted their conversation. I nod pointedly at Miles for Jack’s benefit and pat his leg again. ‘See you in a bit,’ I whisper.
He nods and lets me go.
I’ve barely spoken to Tom tonight. As soon as I approach the huddle he’s in, everyone sits back and merrily makes room for me. It’s still a squash, though, so I end up completely flush with Tom’s right-hand side.
‘You having fun?’ I ask him with a grin.
‘It’s a bit surreal,’ he replies under his breath.
I giggle. I know what he means. We’re surrounded by Gina and Peter, two of the country’s hottest up-and-coming actors; Margarita, child star turned sexy pop starlet; Justin and Jenna, tween music TV hosts; and Sienna and Rafe, who are well on their way to supermodel stardom. And then there’s Tom and me.
‘Do you like them?’ I whisper. ‘They’re nice, aren’t they?’
He smirks at me. ‘A bit full of it,’ he replies.
I frown. ‘What do you mean?’
He cocks his head to one side, a curious expression on his face.
‘What’s that look for?’ I ask, bemused.
‘You are keeping your feet on the ground, Jessie Pickerill, aren’t you?’
My insides flutter as I stare back at him. It’s been a long time since anyone’s used my name like that. My real name.
‘Of course I am,’ I whisper, wanting it to be true, but not entirely sure that it is.
‘I hope so,’ he says, not once taking his brown eyes from mine.
Considering all of the people around us, it feels like we’re alone in the room. I jolt suddenly and look away, instantly locking Jack in a stare.
I force a smile, but he doesn’t smile back, so I impulsively stick my tongue out at him. He returns to his conversation with Miles.
‘So what did you think of the gig?’ I ask Tom, trying to perk up our conversation a bit. It was getting kind of heavy.
‘Incredible,’ he replies, nodding. ‘Bit of a change from SingStar.’
‘I rocked SingStar,’ I tease. ‘When I was drunk,’ I add offhandedly.
‘Exactly.’ He laughs. ‘Seriously, you’re like a proper rock chick now. It’s pretty nuts.’
‘Aw, thanks.’ I bump his arm with mine. ‘So you fly home tomorrow?’
‘Yep, tomorrow evening.’
‘Maybe we could catch up for lunch?’
‘Maybe. I’ll have to see what my dad and Riley are doing first.’
‘OK, cool. Listen, I’ve got to head to the bathroom. See you in a bit.’
As I’m washing my hands, I note that my lipstick has indeed worn off. I have a sheer lipgloss with me so I apply some of that instead, smiling as I remember Jack’s earlier words.
‘Hell, yeah, let’s do it!’ I hear Rafe saying as I return.
‘What’s this?’ I ask, sitting back down opposite Jack.
‘There’s a club around the corner,’ Sienna tells me. ‘Let’s go!’
‘Oh. I can’t. I have to stay here,’ I reply with regret.
‘Come on, it’s literally a minute away,’ she tries to persuade me. ‘Don’t you feel like dancing?’
 
; I really do feel like dancing, actually. ‘Absolutely, but…’
‘No selfies,’ Margarita interjects. ‘Your dad will not know that you’ve left this hotel.’
‘Scout’s honour!’ Gina says, holding her hand up. ‘I’ve already posted a dozen pictures tonight, anyway.’
‘You know you want to,’ Sienna urges. ‘Anyone would have to get through all of us to get to you,’ she points out. ‘We can be your bodyguards.’
I look at Jack. He shrugs, leaving me to make up my own mind.
‘I’m pretty tempted,’ I say with a grin. I’m rewarded with cheers.
That’s when I see Tom’s face. He’s looking at me like I’m mental.
I get up and go over to him as everyone else finishes their drinks and gathers up their things. ‘Honestly, it’ll be fi—’
He cuts me off. ‘Are you crazy? After what happened in England?’
‘It’s not like that over here!’ I whisper, not wanting to draw attention to us. ‘That was a one-off. Johnny’s gone totally overboard on all of this security nonsense.’
‘You’re out of your mind,’ he says. ‘It’s not worth it. Aren’t you having enough fun here?’
‘Yeah, but I want to dance. And everyone else wants to go, too.’ In fact, Rafe, Sienna, Brandon, Lottie and Peter are already halfway across the room.
‘Come on!’ I urge.
‘What’s the problem?’ Jack asks, as he joins us.
‘Are you seriously letting her do this?’ Tom asks Jack.
‘Have you tried stopping her?’ Jack replies, draping his arm round my shoulders.
‘I have, as a matter of fact,’ Tom tells him, his hackles rising.
‘And where did that get you?’ Jack challenges.
‘Stop it,’ I say, putting my hand on Jack’s chest. It’s hard as a rock, he’s so rigid.
‘Almost killed, if you want to know,’ Tom states furiously, balling up his fists.
‘Tom, please,’ I beg, slipping out of Jack’s grasp to stand between them. ‘I’m sure it’ll be OK.’ But inside I’m wavering.
‘Are you guys coming or what?’ Margarita shouts from across the bar. Miles is standing beside her, frowning at us.
Oh, God, I don’t know!