He came back with a brown bag and handed it over to her.
“It’s all there.”
Maisy’s heart pounded through her chest as she realized the gesture Rook was handing her. He was giving up the only comfort he knew to be with her. He was trying to change so they could be together. Maisy knew it was going to be hard, but she was willing to try if it meant her soul was going to be at ease.
Maisy flushed the contents of the bag down the toilet, knowing the bus driver would have fun pumping it from the bus later, but she didn’t care. She wanted to get rid of it forever. When she went back into the living room area, she looked at Rook who was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.
She walked over to him and untwined his arms that were tightly encasing his chest. He placed his hands on her hips and pulled her in close so their chests were touching.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
He tilted her chin up so she was looking at those beautiful blue eyes. “No, thank you.” He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her in. She melted into his arms as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. He felt so incredibly right.
“Thank you so much.” He kissed the top of her head. “I need you, Maisy. I need you so damn much.”
“I need you too, Rook.”
She tilted her chin up and kissed him along his jaw. He lowered his head so she could have access to his lips. They gently kissed each other while holding on to one another as if they would disappear if they didn’t. His lips moved up and down hers and lightly pecked away all the anxiety that was roaring through her stomach.
She was going to work damn hard to make this work with him because she knew if it didn’t work out, there was no way she would be able to be with anyone else. Rook was it for her, even if she was setting herself up for failure. Even if she knew in the back of her head that there was no possible way that they would be able to have a normal relationship or avoid heartbreak. It was bound to happen, the question was, when would it happen?
Chapter 11
“Thank you for coming tonight!” Rook shouted into the mic, as they ended their last song for the night. It was his first-ever concert performed completely sober. Damn, if he didn’t feel good. He felt like he was on a raging high but is was purely from adrenaline. The screams from the crowd, the way the music vibrated through his body and the looks he got from Maisy from the side of the stage made him feel like he could accomplish anything that came his way.
He’d been sober for a week and it had been one of the best weeks of his life, not because his mind was clear enough to actually think for a second, but because he had Maisy at his side. They spent as much time as possible together, but always went their separate ways at night. Rook wasn’t happy about it, but Maisy insisted, saying they needed to spend time with their respective bands as well, but Rook was going to be putting an end to that nonsense. He gave Maisy a week to run the relationship the way she wanted, but he was taking over now. He refused to spend more time away from her than he already had.
Cruz backed off the obnoxious flirting with Maisy, which was good because Rook really didn’t feel like ripping his best friend’s dick off. Not that he was opposed to it, he just didn’t feel like acting on his threats. The one thing that still bothered Rook was the fact that Cruz still felt like it was ok to kiss Maisy when he saw her. Maisy told Rook it was purely friendship, but Rook didn’t care. He wanted the unnecessary affection to end. Maisy was his.
Rook bent down and touched screaming fans hands, signed some of their memorabilia and even bent down to take a picture with a few. Several girls pushed pieces of paper into his hand that had their numbers written all over them. Typical maneuver, Rook was used to it and never acted on the numbers. He stuffed them in his pocket and walked off the stage while patting his bandmates on the backs.
There was something to be said about performing while sober. He had never felt so alive before in his life, well except when he had Maisy in his arms. Did he have cravings for his previous vices? Hell yeah, but were they stronger than the cravings he had for Maisy? Not even close. Maisy was a much bigger addiction than drugs and alcohol and he had no intention of trying to quit the habit.
Looking around back stage, he didn’t see Maisy like he usually did, waiting for him to leap into his arms and plant her sweet, intoxicating kisses all over his face. So instead of looking for her, he went straight to his dressing room to take a quick shower before they got back on the tour bus. Rook hoped to God Maisy was not already on her tour bus, asleep. Well, if she was, then he would be crashing her bunk, he didn’t care what she said. Nights without Maisy were ending now.
Rook tore off his clothes and headed into the shower. He thought about Maisy and where she was, what she was wearing and if she was thinking about him. The thought of her got him excited. They still had yet to seal the deal; if it was any other woman, she would have been kicked to the curb within hours, but he knew Maisy had a rough intimate background thanks to her ass hat of a father. So, Rook decided to take it slow with her; she was worth it, but that meant he was carrying around a nice case of blue balls and unmanaged stiffies.
He looked down at his crotch and groaned as it surged to the sky. He needed release and badly. Normally, he would have his security detail let back a groupie to take care of his situation, but that was no longer an option so instead, for the first time in an extremely long time, he grabbed some soap, wrapped his hand around his dick and started pumping as visions of Maisy flew through his head.
His spare hand leaned against the tile of the wall as he bent over, trying to ease the tension that was built up in his body. Rook thought about Maisy’s sweet kisses, the way she touched his chest innocently and the way she looked in all her concert clothes. Quinn loved showing off Maisy’s legs and Rook would be forever grateful to Quinn for that.
His balls started to tighten and his release built up at the base of his cock to the point of no return. Fuck, he was going to explode.
“Rook?” Maisy’s voice trailed through the door.
Rook tried to pull away from his dick but it was too late, he couldn’t stop even if the president just walked in the room. He was a goner.
He groaned as he released himself all over the tile wall. He pumped his hand until every last drop was gone. He didn’t need to look up to know Maisy was in the bathroom, he could feel her gaze boring a hole through him. He felt like a total ass for relieving himself, but he couldn’t take the pent up tension any longer; he needed some sort of release.
Feeling like a complete dick, he turned off the shower, grabbed the towel that was right next to the door and wrapped it around his waist. He exited the shower and was greeted by Maisy who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest, looking pissed.
He didn’t know what to say. How do you start a conversation with, “Hey, so you just heard me come all over the bathroom wall. What did you think?” So instead he took another towel and dried his hair.
“You have a good time?”
Rook blew out a frustrated breath. “Maisy, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why you’re mad at me. I didn’t want to pressure you into sex, so I have to get release somehow. You have to understand that.”
Maisy walked toward him, anger still etching her eyes. She lifted her hand up to him and opened it, revealing multiple pieces of papers with numbers written all over them.
“Why didn’t you make a call if your girlfriend wasn’t doing it for you?”
Shit.
He always emptied his pockets before he took off his jeans since a piece of left over gum was left in his pants one time and ruined his favorite pair. He was in such a hurry to get showered and get to Maisy that he just left the contents from his pockets on his coffee table, not even thinking they would be out in the open for anyone to see, especially Maisy.
“Maisy, it’s not what you think.”
“Oh?” she cocked her head to the side. “It looks to me that you have multiple
phone numbers from fans that you kept instead of throwing away and I don’t seem to be doing it for you,” she said waving toward the bathroom.
Irritated, Rook grabbed the numbers out of her hand and threw them in the waste basket near the sink. He then pulled Maisy toward him as she struggled to release herself.
“Stop,” he said in a stern voice. She stopped, but wouldn’t look at him. He moved her chin so she had to look him in the eyes.
“Those numbers were shoved at me, I planned on throwing them out. They’re trash to me. The only number that matters to me is yours. As for what you just saw, I’m sorry if that offended you, but hell if I’m going to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do.”
“I’m not some piece of china, Rook. I know how to suck a dick if you need me to do that for you.”
The thought of Maisy sucking someone else’s dick made Rook fly off the deep end. He didn’t want to think of her perfect lips wrapped around someone else’s cock, milking him. No, those were his lips and they were meant for only him.
“How many dicks have you sucked?” he knew the words were not supposed to come out of his mouth, but he couldn’t help it. He had absolutely no filter when rage roared through his body.
Outrage exploded from Maisy’s mouth. “That’s none of your fucking business!”
“To hell it’s not. You’re mine now.”
“Is that so? Well if that’s the case, how many girls have you fucked?”
Touché.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Oh no, you’re the one who brought this up, so please indulge me. How many girls have you stuffed?”
Rook was drowning in boiling water now. He had no clue how many women he had been with and even if he tried to guess, he didn’t want to give an estimate to Maisy because frankly, it was a scary fucking number. Plus, even though he was the one who brought up the number game, he actually didn’t even want to know how many guys Maisy had been with. If he knew how many other men put their hands on her or let her put her hands on them, it would slowly eat away at him.
“Let’s stop this conversation.” He pulled her into his chest, but she resisted and walked away.
“How many?” she shouted
Frustrated, Rook raised his voice. “I have no damn clue, alright? I’ve been drunk off my ass or drugged up for the last couple of years. I can’t remember how many pussies I’ve fucked because I can barely remember what I’ve done in day-to-day life.”
Maisy looked shocked. “So you might have a child out there somewhere?”
“Jesus. No! No matter how high or blitzed I’ve been, I’ve always used protection no matter what. I can promise you that.”
“Fine.”
“Fine?” Rook asked, almost confused. Why was she conceding so easily? It was startling.
“I’m going to leave. I’ll see you around.” She went for the door and he slammed it shut before she could squeeze her body through the opening.
“Oh no you don’t,” Rook said, while pulling her back to the couch, making sure to keep his towel firmly closed. “You’re not leaving like that and we’re no longer sleeping separately. We will go back and forth between buses, but we’re done with saying good night at the door. We will be saying good night while in each other’s arms.”
“What if I don’t want to be with you?”
Rook’s heart seized from her words. The thought of Maisy not wanting to be with him was like a blade cutting his heart. He felt himself back away as the picture of Maisy leaving him came in full force. Fuck.
“Don’t even say that,” he said with a strangled voice.
Maisy caught what she had said and started backpedaling. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant what if I don’t want to be with you right now because I’m pissed at you?”
The five second torment that just ran through Rook’s body eased from her reassurance. Jesus, when did he become such a pussy-whipped little bitch?
Fuck it, he didn’t care. He had Maisy and that was all that mattered.
“Tough shit. There’s no running away. We talk it out.”
“Fine, how come you don’t want me to please you?” she asked matter-of-factly, while crossing her arms in defiance.
Rook was shocked by her question. She wanted to please him? Well shit, he’d wanted the same thing, but he wanted to please her, he was just too damn scared to do so.
“Baby, God, that’s not the case at all. I just don’t want you to think I’m pressuring you. I want you to be comfortable with me.”
“I am,” she said, while tracing her finger along his towel.
Shit.
God help him, his balls seized and his cock stood at attention. He stilled her hand and took it in his.
“I have a serious question that I want you to answer honestly and I don’t want you to get mad at me.” He prayed that she wouldn’t storm out the door. She nodded, so he continued. “Your dad, uh, did he ever put himself in you?”
Maisy sat back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. Tears started to form in her eyes and Rook instantly hated himself for asking her such a personal, and obviously painful, question.
“Don’t answer that, I’m sorry I brought it up…”
“He was never inside of me. He did other things, and pleasured himself while touching me but that was it. He never penetrated me with his dick…”
Rook ground his teeth at the thought of a parent violating what was supposed to be an unbreakable trust. Rook thought he had a rough life growing up, at least his mom never tried to molest him, she just tried to hook up with all his friends when he was in high school and sold her body for loose change.
“We don’t have to talk about it, but I have one more question if you’re comfortable answering it.” He treaded lightly. He really needed to know what he was getting himself into.
“Ok...” she responded hesitantly.
“Are you a virgin, baby?”
Maisy looked Rook dead in the eyes and nodded her head yes.
Fuck!
“I’m sorry,” she said while hanging her head low. Her hand was still in his but the other one was picking off imaginary lint from her skirt.
Rook told Maisy that whenever they were near each other he would be either holding her hand, touching her, or making some kind of skin contact. He needed the warmth for himself, but he also wanted anyone walking by to know that she was his, that was why he was still holding her hand, sending her that reassurance that he was there for her.
“Why are you sorry? There is no need to be sorry.”
“I’m not experienced like all the other girls you’ve been with. I’ve done plenty of other things but I’ve never fully given myself to someone else. I’m going to disappoint you.”
“No,” Rook said firmly, as he dragged her little body on top of his lap. He stroked her hair as he stared into her deep brown eyes. “You could never disappoint me.”
“Rook, come on. I’m going to be lame if you ever decide to do it with me.” She shook her head. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why?”
“Because, you’re going to do it with me once and wish you never gave up everything for me. You’re going to wish that you kept all those phone numbers.”
“Never, not even possible, so stop thinking that way. When it does happen for us, it’s going to be so much more because we have a connection. We’re connected by our souls and no one can change that.”
“No one better,” she said, while poking him in the chest. “I’m going to tell you right now, I’m an extremely jealous person and I don’t take well to other girls throwing themselves at you. You hear me?”
“That makes two of us, but I can’t promise it’s not going to happen. You’re just going to have to trust me,” he countered.
“Help me trust you. Reassure me.”
“How do you want me to do that?”
Maisy leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips as she squirmed on his lap so she was now straddling him. He couldn
’t think as he felt her little body climb over his and take charge. His cock surged high and pressed against her center. She smiled down at him.
“That’s reassuring.”
“That’s uncontrollable. You do that to me, boo.”
She kissed him lightly again and smiled into his lips. “You’re going to drive me insane.”
“You’re already driving me to an asylum.” He kissed the back of her hand. “I’m sorry about the numbers. I promise you won’t see those again.
“I better not. I’m serious when I tell you I’m insanely jealous, so don’t mess with me. I will go ape-shit crazy on you and you won’t like it. Also, if I catch you whacking off again without me, you’re going to be in some serious trouble. If I belong to you, then you belong to me and that means your cock belongs to me,” Maisy said while grabbing him, making him almost fly off the couch.
He breathed heavily as she just held him, but didn’t move. He swallowed hard and was about to rip his towel off when a knock came on his door.
“Rook, let’s go man. We leave in five minutes.”
“Shit.” He removed Maisy from his lap, secured his towel around his waist and walked toward the bathroom, with his erection leading the way. Before going all the way in, he looked back at the girl who so quickly owned his heart and said, “My bus or your bus? Those are your only choices.”
Maisy thought about it for a second. “My bunk.”
“Bunk? You know there are bigger beds on both buses.”
“I’m aware. I also know that you won’t be getting any tonight, so you can either hang out with me in my bunk or you can sleep alone. Take your pick, ace.”
“You’re going to be the death of me, woman.”
As he walked away, he heard Maisy laugh to herself. Damn little vixen.
***
“I’ve got to go,” Maisy said, while trying to pull away from Rook. He only held her tighter.
Kissing her lips, he said, “Why are you leaving again?”
“I have a meeting with the label, Rook. Come on, I’m going to be late.”