I burst into tears.
‘Hey!’ He’s mortified.
‘I’m sorry!’ I reply, gulping for air. ‘I just thought for a moment that you were here.’
‘I’m really sorry,’ he says, but he sounds more amused than apologetic.
I brush away my tears and gather myself together.
‘I’m glad you want me there so much.’ He’s a bit too pleased with himself, but I don’t deny it. The phone is pressed up against my ear and it’s leaving a painful impression, but I’m still sad when he makes a move to end our call.
‘Listen, I’d better go,’ he says reluctantly. ‘Vanessa’s out the front on her own and it sounds quite busy.’
‘Are you in the garden?’ I ask.
‘Yes.’
‘With the windows open?’
‘Just a crack. I’ve taken the frosting off,’ he answers my next question before I can ask it.
‘Good.’
We both fall silent for a long moment, but I know he’s smiling. He speaks first.
‘I love you, Rose. Have a safe flight and remember to text me,’ he reiterates.
‘Okay, I will.’
After we end the call I stare down at the phone in my hand, stunned. Did Toby just tell me he loves me?
Despite their refutations, I go through the next few hours hoping that Toby and Eliza have indeed concocted an elaborate plan to sneak over to Paris and surprise me, but by the time I’m tucked up in bed that night, I have to concede that they were telling the truth. I fall asleep feeling disheartened and lonely, and the feeling doesn’t leave me all the next day.
On Sunday night I board a long flight to Brisbane via Dubai, and on Tuesday I step off a plane into a cool Australian morning.
My Uncle Simon and his partner Katherine meet me at the airport, and I’m happy to be in the company of family again.
Simon is my favourite of Dad’s three brothers. Uncle Jack lives in Scotland, but he’s a cantankerous old git who doesn’t like visitors – although Phoebe and Dad used to drop in on him when they went on climbs there. Our other uncle, Gerry, lives in America with his third wife and we barely see him at all, but Simon has come to visit often – he and Dad were very close.
I’ve only met Katherine on three separate occasions and one of those times was when she came to Dad’s funeral, but I really like her. I’d actually forgotten that she’s thirteen years older than Simon, because a stranger wouldn’t be able to guess if they saw them standing side-by-side.
The first time I met her, she had long greying hair, but she’s gradually cut it shorter and it’s currently layered into a tawny brown mid-length style with dark-blonde highlights.
As for Simon, he’s now the same age Dad was when he died and he’s grown to look more like him over the years. I feel a pang as his face breaks out into his brother’s grin, but the unfamiliar Aussie twang in his accent soon has me smiling again.
Simon and Katherine used to live in Sydney, but they moved to Byron Bay a few years ago and opened up an art gallery. It’s only a week until Christmas so by the time I arrive the town centre is jam-packed with tourists here for the festive season and we sit in bumper-to-bumper traffic all the way down the hippie-tastic main street.
Katherine’s nephews are coming over with their families for Christmas, but I have a couple of days to get over the worst of my jetlag before they arrive. I’ve never met them before, but my uncle assures me that I’ll love them. At least, he hopes so, because apparently it’s going to be a bit of a squash.
I don’t know why he’s worried. The house is huge with four double bedrooms and a large open-plan living area that opens up onto a wide balcony on the first floor. They have an infinity pool down below which has the most incredible view, broken only by two tall palm trees in the sloping garden. A white sandy beach stretches all the way along the coast, with a multitude of surfers riding the cool, blue waves. Katherine and Simon actually live on a hill overlooking Wategos Bay, which is just over a five-minute drive to much busier Byron. Simon tells me there’s a beautiful walk from here up to the lighthouse and Australia’s easternmost point.
Simon is right: I really like Katherine’s nephews and their families, although he was also right about the house feeling crammed now there are eleven people staying in it.
Sam is warm and friendly and his wife Molly is a blast, making me laugh every time she pretends to be completely harassed by her three boisterous children.
Nathan is less outgoing than his brother, but just as warm, and his wife Lucy and I hit it off immediately. Although she’s often distracted by the demands of their unbearably cute eighteen-month-old son, Finn, we find time to chat and bond over our shared love of Somerset while nursing cups of tea out on the balcony. Lucy spent quite a few years growing up in England and her mum has a place in Dunster, not far from where my Aunt Suzie lives. I think I might have actually been to her mum’s teashop in the past.
After a few days, it occurs to me that my jetlag is kind of a blessing because I’m naturally waking up early – I wouldn’t stand a chance of a sleep-in with all the noise created by the children each morning. I love that the house is full and lively because it’s helping to take my mind off an approaching Christmas without Mum and Eliza, not to mention Phoebe. But two days before Christmas, Simon notices me taking a couple of headache tablets at breakfast and encourages me to head down to the beach for some peace and quiet. I sit on the cool white sand and stare out at the ocean, watching the surfers expertly navigating the waves.
‘G’day,’ I hear a voice say and look to my left to see Nathan walking towards me, carrying a surfboard. His black wetsuit has been rolled down to his waist and his dark hair is wet from the surf.
‘I didn’t know you were down here,’ I say, trying not to gawp at his chest. Lucy’s a lucky girl.
‘Yeah, I’m just going back up. You staying here for a bit?’ he asks. ‘I think Lucy wants to bring Finn down for a play in the sand.’
There goes my peace and quiet. Not that I mind.
‘I’ll be here,’ I say.
‘Cool, see ya later,’ he says, and my eyes follow him as he wanders off along the beach, his tanned feet making imprints in the sand.
‘Is that my competition?’ I hear a deep, familiar voice say.
My heart nearly jumps out of my chest as I shoot my head around to see Toby standing behind my right shoulder.
‘Oh my God!’ I murmur, scrambling to my feet.
He raises one eyebrow at me.
‘Oh my God!’ This time I squeal it, throwing myself at him.
He laughs as his arms close around me.
‘Oh my God!’ I say, pulling away to look at him.
‘You’re starting to worry me now, Rose,’ he says drily. ‘Have you lost the ability to speak?’
‘Holy shit!’ I exclaim.
He looks thoroughly entertained.
‘What are you doing here?’ I demand to know, gawping at the wide khaki green straps coming over his shoulder and then grabbing his arm and turning him to see the enormous backpack on his back. ‘You’re not!’ I gasp.
‘I am,’ he replies with a grin. ‘Turns out I won’t be buying a car yet after all.’
‘Oh my God!’
‘Rose!’ He shakes me slightly. ‘Are you happy to see me?’
‘Are you kidding? Oh my God, are you coming backpacking with me?’
‘Oh my God, only if you want me to,’ he replies, mimicking me and then smiling.
‘Of course I want you to.’ Tears fill my eyes.
‘Aw,’ he says, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close.
He feels so amazing, so real. I feel a bubble of something burst inside my chest, and it’s not excitement, it’s more than that.
‘Who was the surfer?’ he asks wryly, and now it’s my turn to tease. I pull away and shrug.
‘Oh, you know, just a guy I’ve got to know.’
He stiffens and I crack up laughing, unable to keep up th
e pretence.
‘It’s Nathan, Katherine’s nephew! He’s married.’
Toby doesn’t look particularly amused by the joke. I continue to laugh myself silly.
‘You’re so immature,’ he mutters, making me laugh more. He grins and unclicks his backpack, dropping it onto the sand with a thump before pulling me down beside him.
He loops his arms around his knees and stares straight ahead. ‘Seriously, though,’ he begins, looking a little on edge. ‘I don’t want to cramp your style. If you don’t want me to travel with you—’
‘Toby, I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather go travelling with. I can’t actually believe it, but I’m so happy you’re here.’
‘Thank Christ for that,’ he says, exhaling with relief.
‘How did it come about, though?’ I ask. ‘Were your parents okay about you leaving? How on earth did you even know where to find me?’
He reaches across and takes my hand. Butterflies start up in my stomach at the feeling of his warm, firm grasp. ‘Yes, they were happy about it. In fact, they encouraged me to go.’
I beam at him, unable to contain my delight about the entire scenario.
‘As for how I knew where to find you, well, I had a little help with that.’
‘Eliza,’ I hazard a guess. ‘She knew when I spoke to her in Paris, didn’t she?’
‘Oh, she’s known for weeks now,’ he replies flippantly, flashing me a grin.
‘Does my uncle know?’ I ask with a frown, wondering if he’ll offer to put Toby up, too.
‘Yeah, he knows. Didn’t you wonder why he sent you down to the beach?’
I shake my head with amazement. ‘I can’t believe you were all in on it.’
He turns his head to look at me, and my stomach flips over as his dark eyes lock me in a stare. Maybe Eliza is right: Prince Charming doesn’t always come in the package you’re expecting. When you meet someone you really, really like – possibly, likely love – then you’d be stupid not to see where it leads.
Toby reaches over and brushes my cheek. ‘Sand,’ he whispers.
‘Not soil,’ I reply, taking his hand and holding it to my face.
He leans forward and kisses me.
We stay on the beach for a far too brief time, with Toby claiming to want to go up to the house to introduce himself. I’d like longer with him alone, but I oblige, and when we walk up the hill, I notice an unfamiliar car parked on the steep driveway.
‘Is that yours?’ I ask him.
‘Nope,’ he replies, pulling my hand towards the property’s steps. I’m out of breath by the time we reach the ground-floor level of the house, and what little breath I have left leaves me when I see who’s sitting on the edge of the infinity pool with their feet dangling in the water.
‘How bloody long does it take to walk up from the beach?’ Eliza asks, trying to keep a straight face as Mum beams at me from beside her.
‘OH MY GOD!’ I scream.
‘Here we go again,’ Toby says drily.
‘I can’t believe you all came. I just can’t believe it,’ I say later when Eliza and I are sitting at the table on the balcony, a beer in her hand and a glass of wine in mine. They dropped Toby to the beach earlier. He carried his heavy backpack to keep up the pretence, bless him.
‘We’ve had it planned for ages,’ she says, looking like the cat that got the cream. ‘I had to check you were serious about Toby first, though.’
I laugh and shake my head, glancing into the house at him. He’s helping out in the kitchen, stirring something in a saucepan. Perhaps he senses me watching, because he looks over his shoulder at me and smirks. My pulse speeds up.
‘Angus couldn’t come?’ I ask, returning my attention to Eliza.
‘No.’ She shakes her head, sadly. ‘He couldn’t get time off work, but you know what he’s like about his mum. He wouldn’t have wanted to leave her on her own at Christmas for too long anyway.’
‘Do you miss him? No,’ I answer my own question. ‘It’s only been a day or two.’
She shrugs and grins sheepishly. ‘I still miss him, though. But I’m sure we’ll survive without each other for a couple of weeks, and the sex is going to be crazy when I go back.’
‘Too much information!’ I exclaim, making her laugh.
Lucy and Molly come out onto the balcony to join us. I hear the cracking open of bottles and glance inside again to see Nathan passing Toby a beer. They chink bottles and then Sam comes into the room and they go through the process again.
Mum is sitting beside Simon on the sofa, bouncing a giggling baby Finn on her lap. Molly and Sam’s three kids tear out onto the balcony and then run back inside again with Katherine in tow.
‘This house is shrinking by the moment,’ I muse, making everyone laugh.
Mum ends up sharing my bed and Eliza kips on the floor of our bedroom on a blow-up mattress. Toby chooses to sleep on the sofa upstairs, having been given the option of that or the second bunk bed in the kids’ room. By the time we set off backpacking, we’ll probably be desperate to have just each other for company. I’m looking forward to getting to know him better, but we’ll have plenty of time for that.
Christmas Day is a raucous affair, and although Phoebe is never far from my mind, nor Mum’s or Eliza’s, I am sure, we have a good day and I’m just so very happy that we’re all together like this. I feel sorry for Eliza that she doesn’t have Gus around – even I miss him – but she’ll be back with him soon enough. I imagine Christmas is hard for him without Phoebe, too, but his mum has a good shoulder for him to cry on.
On Boxing Day, Eliza and I find ourselves sitting alone on the beach. Mum has gone for a wander along the shore with Katherine, and Toby is surfing with Nathan. At the moment, they’re sitting upright on their boards, waiting for a decent wave. They seem to be having a good chat.
‘Nice view,’ Eliza says with a smirk.
‘Get off,’ I reply.
‘I’m talking about Nathan.’
‘What would Angus say?’ I admonish.
She laughs. ‘He knows he’s the only man for me.’ She pauses, before saying quietly: ‘It’s only ever been him.’
‘Check out the look on your face,’ I tease. ‘You’ve gone all puppy-dog-like.’
She grins at me. ‘You have exactly the same expression when you’re staring at Toby.’
I purse my lips at her. ‘You once said I looked like that over Angus.’
She shakes her head. ‘No, that was different. I’ve seen you go through crushes, but that’s not what this is with Toby. I could tell from the way I saw you together at my gig. I’m really glad you’re giving him a chance.’
I shrug. ‘We’ll see how it goes.’
‘That’s all you can do.’
We’re going out in town tonight to see a live band – Toby, Eliza, Nathan, Lucy, Sam and Molly. Mum has convinced a slightly freaked out Katherine and Simon that the three of them will more than be able to handle four kids. Nathan and Sam are the closest things Katherine and Simon have to children – Katherine took them in when they lost their parents, but they were teenagers at the time. Mum, on the other hand, raised triplets, so she’s more than capable, even at her age.
Triplets...
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ I say to Eliza, resting my cheek against her shoulder.
‘Me too.’ She wraps her arm around me and draws me close.
‘I miss her so much,’ I whisper.
She hugs me tighter, but I don’t want to cry, and neither, as I well know, does she.
‘Do you remember that time that Joanne Osborn tried to test our telepathic powers and you guessed that Phoebe wanted pizza for dinner?’ I say, trying to sound light-hearted.
Eliza laughs. ‘I do! You were so cross that I got it right.’
Eliza speaks next. ‘What about the time we all went to Hannah Longstaff’s birthday party and everyone freaked out when you and Phoebe said: “Oh please can we play musical chairs?” in exactly the same
pitch at exactly the same time?’
I laugh loudly. ‘That’s right! I’d forgotten that one. What about when bully boy Danny Riley said to you: “How do you know which one you are?’” I affect his dumb voice. ‘And you sarcastically replied: “Gosh, I don’t know. I look in the mirror and even I get confused.’”
She hoots with laughter and we fall back on the sand, staring up at the sky.
It’s my turn next. ‘Remember that time Phoebe went climbing with Dad and you tried to teach me to play the guitar?’
‘You weren’t having it,’ she replies sardonically.
‘I was just jealous that you were so good and I was so crap, but I appreciated your effort.’ I reach across and pat her knee. She makes a swipe for my hand and holds it to her chest. ‘You and I both got our periods that same weekend,’ I recall.
‘That’s right!’ Eliza exclaims. ‘Phoebe was quite put out!’
We both laugh. ‘She didn’t get hers for another few months. She was gutted,’ I say.
‘We’ve been through a lot together, haven’t we?’ She squeezes my hand.
I squeeze hers back. ‘We have. Every single awkward phase. We were meant to be together, right from the beginning.’
‘That’s kind of comforting,’ she murmurs.
‘It is,’ I agree.
A shadow falls over us and we raise our heads to see Mum standing a few feet away on the sand.
‘Look at you two,’ she says warmly. ‘Let me take a photo.’
As Eliza and I press our cheeks together and smile up at Mum, I think of the photo frames on Mum’s bookshelves in her new house. Months ago I wondered if Eliza and I would ever feature in a photo of just the two of us. And now I know that we will.
It is just the two of us now. Eliza and Rose. Rose and Eliza.
But in our hearts, we will always be triplets.
Acknowledgements
It’s been ten years since the publication of my debut novel, Lucy in the Sky, and I still want to pinch myself. Thank you to my readers for making me laugh and cry (usually in happiness – phew) with all of your social media interactions and outstanding online reviews. I feel very lucky to be doing what I love every day, but I wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much if you weren’t all so sweet to me, so I’m truly grateful. Please continue to help spread the word about my free book club, The Hidden Paige, which I created as a way of showing my appreciation for your support. Visit paigetoon.com and sign up to receive exclusive extra content from me, including short stories, hidden chapters and competitions.