My fingers curl in on themselves, my throat burning with the need to kill her as she pulls herself back together.
With an exhale, she adds, “I’m beginning to think he likes torture. Maybe it gets him going, if you know what I mean.”
It feels like spiders are crawling all over me, dumping buckets of disgust on my flushed skin. “Or maybe it’s because I’m not going to let him die. I won’t let you kill him. Put me in the machine,” I say, taking my bag off my back and dropping it.
Her eyebrows rise. “Eager, are we?”
“You need me to wake Mourdyn, don’t you? Put me in. Let’s get this over with.” I’m bluffing my way through this. Begging my courage to stay with me as I walk toward her, training my fingers to stay where they’re at and not reach for my last two fluxes.
“I do, yes, but I promised Bael we wouldn’t start without him, and he’s currently tending to your annoyingly persistent army trying to storm their way in here.”
“Call him here then. I’m ready.” I look over her shoulder at Weldon and the machine. I know every inch of it. Every strap. Every button. I just have to get close enough to get him out.
“So pushy,” she says, swatting me away. “Come and sit with me for a moment. After all, I’d say you’ve earned it.”
I follow her steps, locking eyes with Weldon as we near the machine. There’s a key to the cage he’s inside of, and I have an inkling that key is somewhere on Clara’s person.
She pulls out a chair in front of a small, round table sitting behind the machine. “Sit,” she says, pointing to it.
I do.
She takes her seat across from me, her lips tight and her violet eyes piercing through me.
“You honestly didn’t think you could walk into the Underground, and we wouldn’t know? Wouldn’t expect it?” she asks, looking way too pleased with herself.
I keep my lips pressed tight. Refuse to speak until the time is right. My finger hovers over the button on my ring, but I don’t press it. Not yet. Not until I get my moment to watch the light dim from her eyes once and for all.
“Faye? Are you okay?” Weldon asks through our link.
“I’m good. You?”
“As good as it gets,” he says. “The key… it’s in her jacket pocket.”
Clara’s hands slam down on the arms of my chair, her face popping into my line of vision. “Why weren’t you with the army? Why did you take a different route?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, keeping my voice even and my gaze trained on hers.
She narrows her eyes on mine. “You were searching for something. You took one of Bael’s keepers. My sister’s to be exact. Oh, and by the way, how was Jaxen’s reaction when he saw daddy dearest?”
I glare at her.
“That good, huh? So, tell me, is that what you came all the way down here for? For her, or for something more?”
“Yes. We came here for her, and for my part in getting in the Exanimator. I’m here, so let’s get started.”
She stares at me. Squints her eyes. “Okay. Fine. But it really was a waste considering Claire didn’t get very far. Now, I think I’m done talking with you for now. I’ll just finish him off so we can get this party started. Bael should be here any moment now.”
I don’t have a chance to react.
She gets up, presses the button to the machine, and I scream out in horror and pain as Weldon’s body is put through another round of electric torture. It’s slicing through me, his pain, meshing with my mind, and I welcome it, pulling more of it in, hoping to ease what he’s feeling because I can take it.
I can save him.
By the time she shuts it off, my arms dangle by my sides. I’m trying so hard to sit up. Trying not to think about how my blood feels like it’s been replaced with honey. How my skin feels like I’ve laid too long in the sun.
“That isn’t going to work,” Clara says, looking between Weldon and me. “You can’t keep taking on his pain, you silly girl. What good will you be if you’re dead before I can even get you in there?”
My lips feel swollen when I try to speak. My tongue’s sore from straining so hard from enduring the pain, but I can take it. I can take more. “Put… put me in,” I say again, trying to catch my breath as my heart pounds and pounds.
She isn’t listening to me. She’s standing in front of Weldon, clicking her teeth. “What to do with you?” She presses her finger to her chin. “I could… stab you in your stigma… no. I could… I could rip your extremities off, one by one… but then I’d get blood all over me, so that’s out. What about shooting you?” She tosses a glance in my direction, wiggling her eyebrows. “It worked on your mother, although she seemed to almost lust after that bullet with the way she so willingly…”
I am fire, and her words are oxygen, feeding me.
A switch flips inside me. Maybe desperation. Maybe my need to fill the hollow darkness inside of me that’s waited for this moment. Or maybe… maybe it’s a dire, animalistic need to save those I love, but one thought screams through my mind.
I can end this.
I’ve been able to all along, I just don’t think I ever believed in myself enough to actually do it before. This strength is my gift… my curse… and I’ll die before she hurts another person I care about. I’ll avenge my mother, Cassie, and all the other names on my arm, because they died for this moment.
They died… for me.
I center myself, pulling on the strength hidden deep within, and stand. My legs and arms feel like thick steel. My heart is pumping out adrenaline. In one swift motion, I have her by the neck, her body flying through the air, until I slam her against the table. “I told you, you’re not going to kill him.”
She’s writhing beneath me, scratching and clawing at my face, trying to break free as I pull on her life force, but she isn’t going anywhere. And I think she sees this in my smile. Just seeing the flicker of fear in her eyes does something to me. Renews me for another round.
The last round.
Her face is turning purple. Her struggling grows weak as I squeeze harder and pull deeper on her darkness, watching the capillaries in her eyes bursting, one by one.
I’m not afraid of the dark anymore.
Sometimes… sometimes we have to crawl through it in order to find the light again.
“You aren’t going to hurt anyone, ever again,” I vow as her arms go limp. As her face lulls to the side. “Never again, Clara Ravensmoore.”
I feel her heart take its last beat.
And I feel nothing.
Not joy. Not redemption… just… just nothing.
“The key, mouse.” Weldon’s hoarse voice cuts through, snapping me back to reality.
I find it in her pocket and rush over to the cage, unlocking it. It takes a second to undo all the leather straps, but, once I do, he collapses in my arms and I hold him so tight to me.
Relief is like cool water splashed on my face.
“Just… give me a sec,” he says as I carefully walk him over to the chair. I begin a healing spell, but he swats me away. “Won’t work,” he says, clumsily reaching for Clara’s leg.
“What are you doing?” I ask, even though I think I already know.
“Healing myself,” he says as he uses what little strength he has to pull her limp body across his lap. His face scowls as he looks at her. “Funny… she looks… she looks… oh, what the hell.” His teeth find her neck and I turn back to the machine, not wanting to watch. Not wanting to wait any longer to get this over with.
I walk around to the other side. Examine the large, metal pipes crawling along the ground from out of the machine, heading further and further away, disappearing in the shadows in the back of the cavern.
If I had to put my money on it, I’d bet Mourdyn is back there.
By the time I come back around to get in, Weldon’s standing, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. His eyes glow a healthy honey color, and his smirk has reset itself
onto his face.
“She didn’t taste very well.”
I try not to shudder. “She was dead.” I get in the machine. Press my hands against the metal plates that will siphon my power. “Strap me up.”
He gets to work, and I can’t help but notice he’s avoiding my eyes, his fingers quivering. “Where are the others?”
I keep my chin up, refusing to think about what I’m about to put myself through. “Taken by demons. Claire is with them. She led us here to save you.”
Pain fills his eyes when he finally looks at me. “She’s a fighter. They all are. They’ll make it out okay.”
“Yeah, but Clara said she was going to use them against Mack.” I don’t try to hide the worry in my voice. Not with him.
He looks up at me. “They’ll be okay, Faye. They still have their rings. Have faith in them.”
I nod, keeping my eyes forward as my pulse pounds in my throat.
“Did you get the amulet?”
He’s keeping me distracted, and I want to hug him. “It’s in my pocket,” I say. “I think it holds someone’s blo—”
Explosions sound somewhere outside the cavern, followed by round after round of bullets and cries of pain.
“The Calvary must be close. Let’s get this party started.” He shuts the gate. Searches my eyes. “You sure about this, mouse?”
I don’t hesitate. “Never been more sure in my life,” I say, mentally shutting him out from me. I don’t want him to go through this again. Not for me. Not when I know I can take it.
He walks out of my line of vision. “I would tell you to prepare because this is going to hurt like a mother-fudger, but you already know this.”
“Yeah,” I say, trying not to think about the fact that I can’t move within the restraints. Not even an inch. “I’ve mentally shut you out,” I add. “Can’t have you dropping to the ground in pain in the middle of it.”
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and I wonder what he’s thinking.
“Weldon?” I ask a moment later.
“Would you… would you think less of me if I admitted I can’t press the right damn buttons because my hands are shaking so bad?” he says, sounding uneasy. “At least I can press the button on my ring. Help should be here any minute.”
I smile sadly. This isn’t easy for him… hurting me. “It’s okay, Weldon. We’re going to be okay.”
A pause. “We are,” he says, although he doesn’t sound as sure as he normally does.
I push calming vibes toward him. “Take a deep breath.”
He laughs, the sound uncomfortable. “Isn’t this supposed to be in reverse? Aren’t you the one I should be calming down?”
“You being here is the only thing keeping me calm,” I admit, closing my eyes against the searing heat.
I wait for him to respond. Feel something off prickling at the back of my mind.
“Weldon?”
Silence.
I can’t move. Can’t turn to see him.
And then I jump when Bael’s face appears right in front of me. “Boo!”
“WELDON!” I SCREAM, SEARCHING FOR him in my mind.
There’s nothing but darkness. Nothing but the steel wall I put up between us so he wouldn’t feel pain.
“He’s not available right now,” Bael says, his smile all teeth. His perfectly oiled hair has fallen out of place, as if he’s been running and running, fighting his way here. “Can’t have him getting in the way.”
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.
“I’d like to thank you for taking care of Clara. She was a pest. A useful pest, but a pest no less,” Bael continues as he disappears from my line of sight. “I was going to off her myself after she delivered you to me, but you saved me the dirty work. Now I just have to get rid of her friend… Eve… Eve…”
“Evelyn Carter?” I mutter.
His finger pops into the air. “Yes. Thank you. Evelyn Carter. She goes next. After you. One thing at a time, you know. The Sistine Chapel wasn’t painted overnight.”
It takes all of my strength not to wrestle within the straps. Not to try to find a way out of this machine, because this is what I came to do. This is what I must to do.
His voice trails over the machine as I bite my lip to keep it from trembling. As I beg my heart to slow down so I can think straight. “Just hang tight, Everlasting. This will only take a second. I think I know how to work this machine.” He laughs. “I mean, I’ve seen Clara and the other Darkyns use it enough, you’d think I’d have it down pat by now. But being a demon and all, I don’t really have need for this kind of hoodoo voodoo.”
He laughs at himself, and I think I’m going to be sick. I think a lot of things, most of them the fact that I should have known it would be like this.
My end.
It would come to this. Bael and me.
And maybe this is for the best. Maybe, if I hold tight to the ones I love, then I can make it, because when I see their faces I’ve engrained in my mind, it’s then I know I don’t want to die. I don’t want my life to be over, and I don’t think I truly realized that until just now.
Until I was left to face this alone.
“Got it!” Bael says.
I don’t think there’s a word in the English language to describe the horrific pain I’m instantly dipped in. It’s like acid being poured over my skin. Like knives stabbing and slicing every inch of me. Like fire in my throat, and like a blow dryer pressed against my brain.
And then it stops.
“It’s working!” I hear Bael shout as vomit spews from my mouth. “Your power… he’s taking it!”
The machine starts up again.
I think I’m seeing stars. Think I might be dead already as my vision splices in and out. As my teeth bite down hard on my tongue and a metallic tang fills my mouth. The electricity is so intense, so strong, it feels like a weight bearing on my bones. Squashing my resistance until the moment I give in. Every muscle in my body is so tight that I think they might snap. And I think I want them to just to relieve the hellish pressure.
And then it stops.
Bael is laughing like a madman as the cavern seems to shake around us, rubble falling from the ceiling like tiny meteors.
Breathe, I tell myself, trying to find somewhere inside of me that’s safe from this excruciating pain. You can take it. You can take it. You can take it.
I think the amulet shattered in my uniform from the electricity because it feels like sharp shards have pierced my skin just above my heart. It stings like bees are constantly sticking me. And then, almost instantly, my blood feels like it’s on fire. It starts at the corner of my chest and spreads out through my veins like molten lava. I can’t tell if it’s from the electricity starting back up again, or from my power draining.
I try to hold onto reality without much luck. With every jolt, I feel myself slipping further and further away as my body begins to shake within the straps, going numb from shock. The machine is sputtering… vibrating from all the power it’s absorbing.
It’s going to implode.
I could give in. I could give up.
But then I see his face. His smile. And I see my mother telling me be brave. To finish this for her.
And so I will.
The machine stops again, the metal plates my hands are fastened to searing against my flesh.
All my pain has blended into one. I think the wall bursts open in front of me, rock and rubble flying everywhere, but I’m scared I’m imagining what I’m seeing. That my mind has made up the Elites taking out demons left and right, with Jaxen and Jezi running toward me as a means to keep me grounded.
The pain starts again, and this time, it’s taking my air. It’s shocking me so hard, with no reprieve, that I can’t catch my breath. My heart stutters, pushing harder to pump, only to falter as the machine makes its last pull on my power, filling the large, glass tank next to me with a metallic-colored light.
This is it, I think sadly. Th
is is the end Cecilia predicted all along.
I’m trying so hard to hang on. Clawing against my own mind to keep my eyes open to see if they’re still there, because I want to believe they are. I want to think there’s more to this hell. I want to see them one last time.
My heart slows. Nearly stops as a foreign, louder heartbeat grows stronger in the back of my mind. Almost as if the weaker my heartbeat grows, the stronger the foreign one gets.
I know why without question.
Mourdyn.
I feel him in my soul, like fingers digging through an open wound. Hear a manic scream that sounds a lot like Bael behind me as the heartbeat grows louder and louder, drumming in my ears.
“Give up,” a deep, gravelly voice says in the back of my mind.
“No!”
The electricity zaps hard through my spine, and I can’t feel my legs and arms anymore. Can’t even open my eyes as my entire body racks hard against the currents driving through me. I suddenly realize it doesn’t matter how much I want to live.
My body can only take so much.
I feel Mourdyn wake. Feel it like a piece of duct tape being ripped from my skin. He’s here, and then he isn’t, and all that’s left is this excruciating, scorching pain and the never-ending torture of the machine.
I don’t fight death as it wraps around my heart and constricts. As I take in tiny gasps of air, like a fish out of water.
As my last breath struggles to spread through my lungs.
I accept it. Embrace it even.
And then…
I…
Let…
Go…
I THOUGHT DEATH WOULD BE hard. Painful even.
I was wrong.
There’s an indescribable peace that comes with not feeling anymore. No pain. No worries. No struggles.
Just… endless quiet.
“Faye?”
It’s my mother’s voice calling to me. Coaxing me awake.
I open my eyes, and it’s like a floodgate of light swarms my senses. Like I’m breathing air for the first time. Seeing color as I’ve never seen it before. It’s overwhelming, and I want to cry. Want to laugh. Want to thank whoever ended my torture so I can finally breathe again.