“Three. Downes Tallert. Downes will remain in your employ. It’s written into the will, you have no choice. He didn’t want to separate what Kenton described as his family. Mr. Ward placed a large sum of money into a separate account and the interest from said account will be transferred into Downes’ bank account as payment for his services. So, in short, you and your family – which includes Downes – will be the only residents of the home.”
“And four. He asked that the family visit his grave on Memorial Day each year.”
I sat and stared, still in complete shock. Slowly, I stood and walked to the window and looked out over the city. Off in the distance, toward La Jolla, I could see the same beach and ocean we often viewed from the deck at Kenton’s home.
My home.
Our home.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Hec walked to where I stood. As he placed his hand on my shoulder, he spoke, “Take a few days or a week to digest everything, Parker. Come in and see me. I’ll do all I can to make this as easy for you as I am able. And, I must advise you, Kenton left me a sizeable sum to ensure I took care of your financial and legal needs. Anything you need, anything at all regarding the estate or investments, I’m here, gratis, at your service.”
“Very well,” I said, still staring out over the city.
As I spoke, I realized I too had developed some of Kenton’s speech patterns. Something else he had left me as a reminder of our time together. Still staring over the city, my focus on the ocean, I began to speak.
“There is one thing I’ll need you to do rather promptly. For my peace of mind,” I said.
Hec squeezed my shoulder in his hand, “Name it.”
I took a shallow breath, “I’ll need you to advise me on setting up a trust, and a college fund.”
“Easy work for me. May I ask…”
Before he finished speaking, I proudly responded.
“For the baby. Our child. Victoria’s pregnant.”
“Oh my word. Well, congratulations, Parker. Keep me apprised of the developments. And a trust will be nothing to set up. We’ll have fun doing so. The pregnancy…that’s sure exciting. It certainly didn’t take you two very long,” he patted my shoulder lightly as he chuckled.
After careful consideration of his statement and some serious thought, I responded, “You should live every day as if you’re going to die at midnight. And ask yourself throughout the course of each day, if this were my last day on this earth, would I do anything different?”
“Wise words,” Hec nodded his head and grinned.
“May I ask its origination?” he asked.
I turned to face the window and focused on the ocean once again as I responded.
“Certainly. He was my father.”
EPILOGUE
Although I had very few problems with the baby to speak of, for some reason today was much different. After feeding, he had not burped. Now, he continued to cry and fuss. Parker’s futile attempts to burp him were followed by Downes’ who was also unsuccessful. Frustrated and tired, I wished there was something more I could do.
“I’ll call the doctor if he continues,” Downes sighed.
“We’ll see. Maybe it’ll naturally work its way out,” I shrugged.
“Should we go ahead and try to go?” Parker asked
I nodded my head as I walked along the hallway, bouncing with each step.
“I’ll pull the B7 around,” Downes said as he walked from the room.
It had been about a year since Kenton’s death. We had each found our own way of dealing with his death as well as his absence from the home. Having the home as ours was one of the best things for us all, and had certainly drawn us closer as a family. Karen stayed, which was a blessing in itself. Together, we had developed our own friendship, sharing recipes and taking turns cooking for the men. Her peach tea was something we all continued to enjoy during our time together on the deck – a reminder of things since passed.
Parker followed as I walked out onto the porch. The month of May in San Diego is about like every other month, and today was no exception – eighty degrees and sunny. Downes opened the door of the car as I approached, and I lowered the baby into the car seat. After buckling him in, I walked to the other side and got into the car beside him.
“Sit in front, Parker. I’ll ride back here alone and relax,” I sighed.
As Parker got into the front seat, I exhaled. For now, the baby was lightly fussing and attempting to fall asleep. It was a great improvement from earlier, as the morning had been filled with his constant wailing. I closed my eyes as the car began to maneuver through the long drive and away from our home. I knew the drive to the cemetery shouldn’t take long. We’d all been there before, but this was our first of what would surely become many traditional visits. It was our first Memorial Day. Exhausted from the sleepless night, I fell asleep to the sound of the car’s tires humming on the surface of the road.
“Wake up, we’re here,” Parker said as he opened the car door.
I blinked my eyes and focused on the gravestones along the horizon. I’d never been to a cemetery before my mother or Kenton passed away; my father had been buried in another state, and my mother and I never took the time to travel to his grave. I turned toward the baby who was sleeping.
“Want to take turns?” I asked as I motioned toward the car seat.
Parker shrugged, “I guess it’d probably be best. I love you. We won’t be long.”
“Leave the flowers, or at least some of them,” I said out the open door.
Parker nodded his head and raised his index finger to his lips. I looked down at the baby as he quietly slept and smiled. I turned toward the door again and slowly pulled it closed.
“You shhhh,” I smiled as I pulled against the door handle.
Parker and Downes weren’t gone for long, and they returned. After Parker took my position in the back seat, Downes and I quietly walked to the gravesite. As we stepped to the gravestone and stopped, Downes handed me some the fresh flowers we had brought with us. Standing in front of the grave, clutching the flowers in my hand, I slowly lowered myself in front of the etched stone.
“Well, it’s Memorial Day. Not that we need a special day to come visit, but this is the first of our family tradition. I’m sure Parker told you, but in case he didn’t, I will.”
“We have a baby. He was born six weeks premature, but he’s doing really well. For some reason, today he’s really fussy. Although I always do, I really wish you were here today to help. I know you’d find a way to fix it. And I didn’t sleep much last night, so I need a hug. One like we had that day out on the deck. Remember? The one where you rocked on your heels?”
I paused as my eyes welled with tears.
“Oh, and there’s a little more. We named him Kenton Ward. Kenton Ward Bale. We all call him K.W. because it’s hard to think of having another Kenton in the house, at least for now. I love you. And I miss you so much. I’ll be back soon. Maybe by then K.W. will be feeling better.”
I stood from my crouched position and dropped the flowers beside the grave.
Goodbye father.
Downes wrapped his arm around me as I turned toward the car. Together, we walked silently to the car. Downes didn’t speak much, and he didn’t need to. His facial expressions and his actions made his thoughts clear and left nothing to the imagination. What little he did speak was truly meaningful. I remain extremely grateful to have him in my life.
The drive home was uneventful and rather relaxing. Soft music kept the baby asleep, and we refrained from speaking to allow him to sleep. For the entire drive, I prayed when he woke up he felt better, and wasn’t in such pain. As we pulled around the fountain, and came to a stop, I unbuckled the baby from the seat. Immediately, I realized my prayers weren’t quite answered. He began crying and squealing as soon as I removed him from the seat’s restraints.
“I’ll take him for a walk,” I said as I pulled him from the car.
I wal
ked through the house and out onto the deck. Frustrated, I began to pat his back as I held him against my bosom and against my shoulder. He continued to scream and his stomach felt tight and bloated.
I continued to bounce in place and lean over the handrail as I patted the baby on the back.
Please God, help me. He’s in pain.
As I prayed there be nothing seriously wrong with our baby, I patted his back lightly and bounced. I stared out at the ocean toward the location where we had spread Kenton’s remains and attempted to find some inner peace. The day was clear, and minimal smog allowed me to see to the horizon. The water was the most beautiful of deep blue colors. As I absorbed the beauty of the ocean and hugged the baby, I remembered the day of Kenton’s hug, and the smell of the beach. I closed my eyes and became lost in the memory as I continued to pat the baby.
The scent of the beach filled my nostrils. My heart raced. It lingered for the longest of moments, and continued as I took two conscious breaths. The baby burped and rested his head on my shoulder.
The scent of the beach still lingering strong, I opened my eyes and spoke out loud.
“I love you too, father. I love you too.”
Scott Hildreth, Finding Parker
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