Doug tucked me against his side as he continued whatever conversation he’d been having with the two Demons and the lead guitarist for OtherWorld. Soon I was being pulled into it and laughing my ass off. Someone kept pushing a drink into my hands and I downed each one of them. By the time we reached the club, I was more than a little tipsy.
Things were crazy in the club. Most of the guys got lost in the crowd. I stuck close to Doug, Jesse, and Wroth for most of the night because they seemed more interested in getting drunk and talking than finding pussy. After my fifth shot and third beer though, they started to bore me and I escaped to the dance floor.
It didn’t matter that I didn’t have anyone to dance with. No one was really dancing with any one person anyway. I got lost in the beat of the music and before I knew it I was surrounded by strangers who were all having as much fun as I was.
When I finally left the dance floor, I was covered in sweat and dying of thirst. I pushed my way through the crowd to the bar and ordered two bottles of water. When the bartender handed them over I swallowed the contents of one without stopping for air. My throat was aching from a mixture of dehydration and exhaust from singing two nights in a row.
The schedule for this tour was off-the-walls crazy, since we were in a different city almost every other night. I wasn’t going to complain, though. I was having the time of my life. The only thing that could have made this all better was if my cousin Alexis were there with me. I wished she were there instead of back in Connecticut dealing with a broken heart. If I ever saw Jared Giordano again I was going to kick his ass.
Taking my time drinking the second bottle of water, I turned around to people-watch. The first thing to catch my eye was the two idiots hanging from one of the light fixtures. And by two idiots I meant Martin and Zander Brockman. They were drunk off their asses and using the light fixtures as monkey bars.
If I’d been a little more sober I might have been concerned for them, but I wasn’t. Their stupidity fascinated me as I watched Zander make it halfway across the room before Emmie finally noticed him and yelled at him to get down. While half the club watched the exhibition the two men were making, Zander looked down at her and shook his head. When she put her hands on her hips, looking more like a displeased mother than a twenty-year-old rock band assistant, his face paled a little and he jumped down onto the table he was hanging above.
Martin ignored her when she turned that displeased look on him and kept going. Fall. Fall. Fall, I mentally chanted. My inebriated state even wanted him to break something non-life threatening when he did.
He didn’t.
A set of inked-up arms wrapped around Martin’s legs and pulled him down. Martin landed on his back on a table, and I could tell he was laughing. Had the fucktard been getting into Liam’s absinthe? I’d never seen him act so stupid in my life.
With the show over, most of the onlookers had gone back to what they’d been doing. I watched for a little longer, hiding a grin behind my bottle of water as I watched Emmie stand over Martin with a fuming Jesse Thornton right beside her. She was obviously ripping him a new one from the expression on Martin’s face.
I seriously hoped the little redhead made him cry. I’d heard a few stories that she could do that with a look if she was pissed enough.
Jesse shifted when Emmie turned to speak to him and the rocker on the sofa behind the huge drummer immediately caught my attention. All the alcohol I’d swallowed earlier churned in my stomach as I watched Liam making out with some long-legged blonde chick. She wasn’t one of the strippers from the party bus, but I’d seen Liam dancing with her earlier.
Now she was straddling his lap, her shirt pulled up over her bra while he filled his hands up with her impressive chest. Even from where I was standing across the room, I could see that she had her tongue down his throat. Neither of them seemed to care that they were pretty much having sex in the middle of a French nightclub. From the amount of absinthe Liam had drunk on the bus, I was sure that he didn’t even remember where he was.
Like the masochist I was turning into, I stood there, watching. My stomach churned more and more the longer I stood there. I knew I should look away, but like a person watching a train wreck happening right before their eyes, I couldn’t. I knew that the results were going to end in tragedy—my tragedy—but I couldn’t bring myself to turn away from the sight.
As if the rocker felt my eyes on him, Liam lifted his head. I couldn’t see if his eyes were open or not, they were so hooded, but somehow I knew that they were. I could feel his gaze on me, moving like a caress as it traveled over my body.
The chick on his lap was kissing his neck while he continued to play with her tits, but his eyes were glued to me. And my body was responding. As if he were touching me. As if we were the ones practically fucking in the middle of a room full of three hundred people.
I wasn’t sure what would have happened if Jesse hadn’t shifted again and blocked Liam from my line of sight. When his wide shoulders moved to hide the two people sexing up the place, I couldn’t help what happened next.
One second I was standing there with a bottle of water in my hand, the next I was bent in half, retching out everything that was in my stomach.
The people standing closest to me moved away, but no one seemed to pay me any attention. I was thankful for that much, at least. When the heaving stopped I rushed to the ladies room to clean up. My heart was racing, my stomach still churning. All I wanted was to go back to the tour bus and take a long, hot shower.
I felt dirty. So fucking dirty. How could I have just stood there, letting him affect me like that? Letting him seduce me even while he had some other woman on his lap, basically dry-humping him?
Dio, I was so fucked up.
I washed my mouth out and threw some cold water on my face before forcing myself to leave the bathroom. I couldn’t stay at the club while everyone else partied. Not now. I’d grab a cab back to the buses…
That was the only thought I had in my mind—the only one I allowed myself to have—as I left the bathroom.
The rock god standing outside the ladies room when I stepped out surprised me. Axton was leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed over his leanly muscled chest. His face was full of concern as he ran hazel eyes over me.
“You okay?” he finally asked after nearly a full minute.
I shrugged. “Drank too much.”
His brows lifted, but he didn’t call me out on what we both knew was a lie. Pushing off the wall, he moved toward me, only stopping when he was less than a foot away. “Look, you seem like a cool chick. You rock hard, and I’m really into your sound on stage. Fuck, I wouldn’t even mind collaborating with you on something.”
My eyes widened. To have Axton Cage say something like that was more than a compliment. With his success and status, just having someone important hear him say something like that could make the difference in being at the top of the totem pole or the bottom in the rock world.
He wasn’t done, though. “I don’t want to see you fuck all of that up, though. I can tell there’s something between you and Liam, but trust me when I tell you that he’s not where you want to go right now, Brie. He’s fucked up, in more ways than you will ever know. Don’t mess up your life, your career, over him.”
I blinked, slightly touched that he was concerned about me, but more than a little pissed that he thought he needed to protect me. “Thanks for the advice,” I bit out, “but I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
Axton’s lips twisted into a grim smile. “If you say so, little girl.” Laughing, he shook his head and turned around, going into the men’s room. “If you say so,” he repeated with another laugh.
CHAPTER SIX
Gabriella
SEVEN YEARS EARLIER
My favorite way to start the day wasn’t with a cup of coffee, or a run, or even a really delicious breakfast. It was with a shower. It didn’t matter if I’d showered the night before, I couldn’t start my day without one.
I loved the feeling of being clean, of having the water running over my soapy skin, waking up every part of my body.
The shower on my bus was tiny. No, it was smaller than tiny. My petite body felt crammed into the small box that was that pathetic excuse for a shower and I couldn’t imagine how the guys in my band must have felt. Still, I didn’t care. I enjoyed every minute of being under the water, even if I was limited to a five-minute shower each morning so that the others could get one in as well.
This morning I stumbled half blind to the bathroom. Normally, I locked the door, because the guys I shared a bus with were still learning boundaries. They’d toured with another singer before, but it had always been a dude, so they hadn’t worried about walking in on one another while they were in the bathroom. I couldn’t bother myself to spare the energy for that menial action this particular morning, though.
We were just days away from wrapping up the European tour and moving on to Australia. I was exhausted from performing almost every night and then partying until nearly dawn before crawling into bed while the driver drove the bus to whatever stop, in whatever country we were supposed to be in the next night. I’d come to realize that touring is not nearly as much fun as I had always imagined it would be.
Of course, it didn’t help that I had to see Liam-Fucking-Bryant with a different chick every damn night. That he didn’t care about having public sex right in front of me. Some nights, when I would see him with his new flavor of the night, it felt like he was putting on a show just for me. As if he were trying to hurt me on purpose.
I hated that he had the power to hurt me like that, and I still didn’t understand why he had the power to do it in the first place.
Last night had been the worst to-date. I’d seen him getting high in the limo as we’d all gone to yet another nightclub. It wasn’t pretty, watching him put that shit up his nose. Witnessing it should have turned me off of him—you would think, at least. All it had done was made me want to help him, made me want to soothe whatever demons haunted him.
Fuck, I was pathetic.
I’d tried to stay away from him all night, but it felt like every time I turned around he was there, sucking face with a different chick. I’d started tossing back one shot after another and looking for someone who would distract me from the hurt that Liam was causing me.
When I’d run straight into Axton Cage coming out of the bathrooms, it had been fate. Over the past nearly three months I’d been getting to know the rock god a little better. Even after he’d warned me off about Liam, he’d remained friendly and yeah, still concerned.
I’d been half drunk when I’d tossed caution to the wind and kissed him. It had been one hell of a kiss. I’d been panting for more when he’d finally pulled back, but no sooner had his lips left mine had my mind gone straight back to what I was so determined to forget.
Axton had brushed one more kiss over my lips before stepping back, a grin on his sexy face. “Now that is more like it, little girl. If you want to do it again, come find me.”
I hadn’t.
Not because I wasn’t tempted—because, fuck, who wouldn’t have been? Hot rocker wanted me. I hadn’t been laid in almost a year. It would have been fun…
I’d gone into the bathroom and done my business. Emmie had been in there, washing her hands. She lifted her chin in a silent greeting before leaving without speaking so much as a word to me. I was still unsure if I liked her or not. There were times she seemed like she would be a fun chick to hang out with. I knew she was loyal to a fault, would cut your throat if you so much as looked like you were going to do something to one of her Demons, and was completely oblivious to the fact that she had at least two guys pining for her. At the very least, two very hot rockers.
Problem was, she didn’t seem to get along with anyone but her Demons and Axton Cage. There were two women on the road crew and they both despised Emmie. She was perhaps the biggest bitch I’d ever met, and that included myself.
Still, she hadn’t done anything to me, so I was going to remain neutral for the moment.
I was washing my hands when the door to the bathroom opened with a big enough bang to make me jump. Turning to see what the deal was, I felt the air become trapped in my lungs when I saw them.
Some chick in a skirt that let everyone in the club know that she wasn’t wearing panties had her legs wrapped around Liam’s waist. He was kissing her, squeezing her ass with one hand, and touching her intimately with the other. Bile rose in the back of my throat when he turned around and lifted his head.
At first his gaze went to the five stalls, all of which were empty since the night was wearing down. A lot of the other club goers had already left for the night. Then, as if he realized I was standing there, he turned his blue eyes on me. For what felt like the longest time he just stood there, staring at me while the chick in his arms continued to kiss every part of him he would let her kiss.
Liam blinked and smirked at me. “Wanna join us?”
The girl in his arms giggled but I wanted to throw up. I wasn’t going to let him know that, though. He seemed to get off on making me hurt, and if he knew he was killing me right then, he would love it. Forcing a grin to my lips, I pulled a few paper towels from the dispenser and dried my hands. “Nah, big guy. You have fun, though.” I tossed the wet paper towels in the trash as I moved toward the door. “Ciao, Liam.”
After that, I hadn’t been able to stay a second longer. I’d gone outside and taken a cab back to my empty bus before crawling into bed and stupidly crying myself to sleep. Now, as I stood under the spray of the shower, mentally washing away those pictures from my mind as I washed my body, I tried not to cry again.
Fuck, I was not that girl. I wasn’t the kind of chick to let a douchebag beat me up emotionally like this. He obviously didn’t want me. It had been thrown in my face for nearly three full months now. It was time I got over it, over him, and the fact that he didn’t want anything to do with me.
From now on, I wasn’t going to let Liam Bryant fuck with my heart anymore…
Ah, shit. My fingers stilled in my hair, suds half blinding me, but that didn’t matter. Not when the real reason for why Liam had so much power to hurt me finally hit me so hard. I was in love with him.
“No!” I cried and pounded my fist on the shower wall. “No way.”
I decided then and there that even if I did love that bastard rocker, I wasn’t going to let it bother me anymore. It was time I moved on, found a lover, and fucked Liam out of my head and my heart.
Rinsing my hair, I scrubbed the rest of my body until my skin was pink and tingling. I was just about to cut off the water when the bathroom door opened so suddenly that I didn’t have time to shield my body.
Startled, I wiped water from my eyes to find Martin standing in the small bathroom watching me with eyes that were bright with a desire that turned my stomach nearly as much as seeing Liam with other girls had. Belatedly, I covered my breasts with my one arm and opened the shower door to grab my towel before finally turning off the water.
“Get out!” I yelled at him.
Martin licked his lips, his hands going straight to the top of his sweatpants and pushing them down his narrow hips. I might want a lover, but it was definitely not going to be this creep. “Get. The. Fuck. Out!” I screamed.
“Come on, Gabriella. You know you don’t mean that.” Martin had his pants down now and he wasn’t wearing any underwear. When I saw his erection, I nearly gaged and started screaming again. “I’ve seen those sexy little looks you send me. You want this, babe.”
“Get out, you stupid sonofabitch. You repulse me. Get out!”
He threw his head back and laughed. One hand wrapped around his dick and he started stroking himself. Fucking gross. I hated this guy. No way I wanted him. He was crazy if he thought I would ever give him any reason to think I would ever—ever—want his nasty ass.
“Stop playing hard to get, Gabriella. You got me, babe. I’m all yours.” He took a step to
ward me and I realized several things all at once. One, he really was mental. Two, no way were the other guys on the bus. I’d just screamed this place down, yelling at Martin and calling him names that should have had the other three rushing to see what was going on. With the exception of the creep now standing in front of me, the other three guys in my band were decent men. They had all told me to let them know if I ever needed anything, but especially let them know if anyone gave me any problems. And three…
This guy was going to rape me if I didn’t do something to protect myself.
That thought had everything inside of me going stone cold. I tightened my hold on my towel and refused to cower like some scared little girl facing down the big, bad wolf. No way was this guy going to hurt me. I refused to become a victim.
Thinking fast, I tried to relax. Best form of action was to act like I wanted what Martin thought he could give me. When he got close enough, I was going to knee him in the balls. I pictured him falling to his knees and then completely to the floor where I would kick the shit out of him.
Another step forward and Martin was almost close enough for me to raise my knee and make him wish he’d never been born a man. Bile was choking me, rising more and more with each breath I inhaled and smelled Martin’s cologne. He’d always worn too much, and I’d always thought it smelled like old-man aftershave mixed with ass.
He stopped. Letting go of his dick, he lifted the hand he’d been holding himself with to touch my face. I smelled the muskiness on his skin and all plans of kicking the shit out of him went flying out of my head with the contents of my stomach as I bent over and puked my guts out.
Martin jumped back but not in time to avoid getting sprayed with the revolting bile as I practically projectile vomited all down his stomach, dick, and legs.
When the bathroom door suddenly opened—more like it was jerked off its hinges—I couldn’t help the startled scream that left my lips. Martin groaned seconds before I heard flesh hitting flesh and then Martin slumped to the floor, nearly falling into my mess. Still bent in half, trying to catch my breath after emptying the contents of my stomach onto the floor, I tried to lift my head enough to see what was going on.