I pick up my Chemistry book. “See you later.”
“I’ll wait for you at the coffee shop. We can grab some lunch or something before we head home,” Felicity offers.
“Sounds good. Bye, Flick …” I grimace. It looks like I’m getting in the habit of calling her by her nickname just like all the Hannigans tend to do. “Sorry. Felicity.”
She laughs. “I don’t mind you calling me Flick. You’re family now, whether you know it or not.”
Stupidly, that brings tears to my eyes and I quickly open the door and step out before she can see them. I’ve cried far too much in front of her and everyone else lately. Felicity waves as she drives off, heading across campus to her class. I don’t have one for another forty-five minutes so I have some time to kill.
I head into the Science Building and find the small library reserved for studying. I loved the smell of the old parchment from the books and inhale deeply as I sit and open my book along with the notes from my last Chemistry class.
But my mind won’t let me concentrate on the complicated material. Felicity’s comment about me being family now distracts me. It’s silly but I do actually feel a little like family now. It feels like I have brothers the way Raider, Colt, Tanner, and even Matt have started teasing me lately. It feels like I have a sister in Felicity, and now Willa. I’m sure I can add Raven to that category too, but I haven’t seen her since Sunday morning. Bash feels like the family patriarch the way he’s always tossing out orders and people—mostly guys from the club—that keep showing up at the Hannigans’ house to ask for help.
And Hawk … Well I’m not sure what category I can place him in. I know what one I’d like to put him in though.
Things are complicated with Hawk. I’m twisted up inside over him. Logic tells me that I should be terrified of everything male because of what had happened at the party just a week ago. And I am skittish of most guys now, even the ones I’ve grown to accept as friendly like Raider and Colt. Hawk is a different story.
I go to sleep every night in his bed—alone. I wake up every morning with his strong arms wrapped around me. His warm, bare chest presses against my back, his hot breath breathing against the back of my neck sending shivers down my spine. I can’t remember him coming to bed, can’t remember anything except that there have been no nightmares.
Sighing, I push my hair back from my face and force myself to concentrate on the notes I’ve diligently taken. I have a quiz today, and I desperately needed to get an A on it. We only have three tests for the semester: Midterm, Finals, and Lab. Even with help, I’d barely gotten a C on my midterm. Luckily, the professor is a decent enough guy. Since most of the class hadn’t even passed that first exam, he’s started giving quizzes before each class. The points earned from each quiz go toward bringing up the midterm grade.
Thirty minutes later the professor walks into class with a determined look on his face. I keep my gaze on him so I won’t be tempted to glance behind me to see if what-ever-his-name-is is in attendance. It wasn’t until I left campus the evening before that I remembered the guy that tried to help Brayden rape me is also in my Chemistry class. It kept me up most of the night, and when Hawk had finally come to bed I was still wide awake.
I stupidly told him what was bothering me, and he tried repeatedly to get me to not go to class today. He was pissed off when I finally fell asleep, and still tried to talk me out of going this morning. I hate that he’s upset with me, but this is my last semester and I need Chemistry class to complete my degree and get into Creswell’s law program.
I’m not going to let a creep who tried to destroy me stand in my way!
Professor Schmidt passes out our quizzes on the material from the week before, and I carefully answer each of the ten questions. We never know what we get on these freaking things and won’t until the week before finals. Thankfully that’s only a few short weeks away. If I don’t pass this class with at least a B, then I won’t graduate with honors. I want that prestige for no other reason than to make my mother proud. I know it’s a stupid reason, but it seems like every time I succeed at something in school my mother has always been at her happiest. Now that she’s gone, I like to think that she smiles down on me from wherever she is every semester that I finish on the Dean’s List. That she’s happy—proud—of me even in death.
Once the quiz has been collected, the professor dives right into a new lecture and doesn’t come up for air until it’s time for our break. I wait until the room is empty before standing. My trip to the ladies’ room is uneventful, but I can’t help how I keep glancing around like an escaped con looking out for the cops. I don’t even know that loser’s name, and yet he is making me paranoid to the point of embarrassment.
On the way back to the class room, I stop in front of the vending machine. I’m starving and know I won’t make it through the rest of the class unless I have a snack. The bag of salted peanuts would have been the best choice, but my gaze keeps going to the sticky honey bun. When the girl in line behind me clears her throat, I push a dollar into the machine but my fingers hover over the button.
“Pick the honey bun, Gracie,” a deep voice murmurs from right beside of me.
I blink and turn my head to find Hawk standing right there. Right there! My heart twists like a pretzel then melts. With a grin he reaches around me and pushes the button that makes the honey bun fall. He bends to retrieve my snack and hands it over. “Let’s get back to class.”
I frown at him as he walks beside me toward the right class room without any direction from me. The halls are complicated. How did he know where to go? “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” He thrusts his hands into his jeans’ pockets. “I hated the thought of you being in the same room with that bastard … By the way, his name is Kevin Samson. His dad is some kind of big deal in San Francisco. The party last weekend wasn’t the first time he…” he breaks off, clenching his jaw “…tried to hurt a girl. He transferred here from UCLA because he was expelled for the same thing.”
“How do you know all of that?” I ask, opening my snack and pinching off a small piece.
“I have connections, sweetheart. Powerful connections.” He winks as he lets me walk into class ahead of him. I go to my desk at the front of the class and sit down. Hawk carelessly drops down into the chair beside me.
I grin. “Oh yeah.” I roll my eyes at him. “I forgot.”
He slings an arm around the back of my seat, leaning closer. “You’re really cute when you concentrate hard, Gracie. Do you even realize that you were twisting your hair around your finger as you were taking your test?”
“What? No, I didn’t even notice.” I tear off another piece of the honey bun and offer it to him. “So you’ve been here the whole class?”
Hawk leans forward a little more and takes the offered bite with his lips, his tongue lingering on my thumb just before pulling away. He doesn’t seem affected at all, but I’m sure I’ve stopped breathing. Sweet Holy Hotness!
“I got here before you did. I was in the back keeping an eye on Samson.”
Before I can find my voice, Professor Schmidt reenters the classroom, and I have to find the brain power to concentrate on the rest of his lecture. Easier said than done when my heart’s racing, my panties are suddenly damp, and every breath I inhale brings the scent of Hawk.
I’m so screwed for the quiz next Friday!
Raven
I really don’t want to like Willa. I want to hate her. I want to scratch her eyes out when I look at her. She’s why my friend is so unhappy. She’s been living with my boyfriend for over a year, playing happy family that I didn’t even know I want to be playing.
I can’t hate her.
I try hard … for about an hour. But during the time we wait in my new room keeping Lexa from the ugliness that’s taking place downstairs, I realize that I like Willa Blackstone. She’s feisty, funny … nice. When I find myself smiling at something snarky she says, I fe
el like a traitor. Spider’s hurting and here I am finding myself warming up to the female that has caused him so much pain.
When Colt knocks on the bedroom door I’m beyond relieved to get out of there. My brother opens the door looking as if he hasn’t just seen his club president beat his friend bloody. He actually smiles. “All clear, ladies.”
I glance at the now sleeping three year old cuddled under the covers. “Does she usually take a nap?” I ask Willa.
“Not normally, but it’s been a crazy week for her. Let her sleep a little longer if you want.” Willa pushes up from the bed and walks toward the door, frowning at Colt. “It’s been two hours. Surely he didn’t spend that entire time dealing with his cousin.”
Colt shakes his shaggy head. “No. We’ve been cleaning up the mess. Bash doesn’t want Lexa to question a few bloody spots.”
I let my gaze linger on the sleeping little girl a moment more before tucking the covers a little tighter around her and following them out. When the door closes behind us, I grab Colt’s arm. “How bad is he hurt?”
He shrugs. “Broke his nose. Probably a few broken ribs. Maybe a broken jaw. Raider took him to see Dr. Robertson. He had it coming. Tanner knew better than to run his mouth about you in front of Bash. It wasn’t the first time Tanner had to face Bash, so he knew the beating he’d have to take.”
I clench my jaw. Dr. Robertson is the MC’s doctor. He handles the things that I can’t, like the broken bones or the gunshot wounds that are more than just a graze. He had a private practice, but it was Angel’s Halo that really kept him in business and money.
Downstairs I find Matt putting dishes in the dishwasher while Bash sits at the table with an ice pack on his left hand. I kneel down in front of him and take his hand, examining the damaged knuckles. He doesn’t show a hint of the pain that I know he has to be in as I check to make sure his hand isn’t broken.
I feel his gaze on the top of my head, can feel his body actually heating up with each passing second. That’s the way it’s always been with us. I needed to make sure that I didn’t get within ten feet of him when we were sneaking around, otherwise his body would react in a way that was hard to miss.
“Are you mad at me?” he finally asks.
I put his hand back on the table and put the ice pack back on top of it. “Nope.” I stand and go to the medicine cabinet beside the fridge to get him some Ibuprofen. I pour him a glass of water and hand over the tablets.
“Then what’s wrong?”
I shrug. “I was thinking … Can’t we just build another room or two onto this house?”
“Why?” he asks, watching me as I move around the kitchen helping Matt.
“I want to live here. I grew up in this house. I would like to raise our kids here.”
My back is turned toward him, but I can feel the difference in him as soon as the words leave my mouth. Matt must have felt it too and silently leaves the kitchen, too unsure of the emotion radiating from his cousin to want to stick around and witness another blood bath. I bite the inside of my cheek, not sure what’s going on in Bash’s head either.
His chest presses against my back making me tremble with a need that goes soul deep. Strong arms wrap around my waist in a gentle yet unbreakable vice. His nose skims over my ear and his lips latch onto my neck. “Say that again,” he demands in that growling animalistic voice that never fails to drench my panties.
“I would l-like to …” a moan escapes me as he sucks on the pulse throbbing in my neck. “… t-to raise our … Bash, I can’t think when you do that!” My body is alive with a consuming desire that threatens to engulf me.
“Say it, Raven!” he comments, releasing his hold on my neck and licking away the slight sting that lingers. “Say it.”
“I want to raise our kids here. In this house,” I manage in a rush. “I want to help you raise Lexa … if you’ll let me.” The last words come out in a whisper, a plea. I fell in love with Lexa instantly, my love for her just as intense as it is for the girl’s father.
His arms tighten around me almost painfully. “Does that mean … Fuck, Raven. What does that mean?”
I turn in his arms, needing to see his face. “If you’re asking if I’ve gotten over the living with Willa thing, then the answer is no. I’m not sure if I will ever trust you. Maybe I will one day, maybe I won’t.” His eyes darken and I can see the struggle he’s having reflected in those silver-blue eyes. “That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Bash. I wish I could turn my feelings for you off, but I can’t.”
“Raven …”
“Don’t.” I cup his stubble-roughened jaw in both hands. “We have a lot of things to work out, and I want to at least try to work through them.”
Bash
She wants to try.
That not the answer I wanted, but it’s better than the one I’ve been dreading. So I take what I’m offered and go with it. She wants to be a part of Lexa’s life, and it gives me more hope.
Over the next two weeks I watch the two females that are my world. In as little as fourteen days I’ve witnessed a change in my little girl. When Raven is home Lexa is never far from her sight. My daughter is Raven’s new shadow. Lexa starts acting more and more like her new best friend, and I’m sure I should be concerned—because fuck, one Raven is enough—but it only makes me love them both more.
Raven is changing before my eyes too. She’s maturing more and more, becoming the woman I’ve always known she would be—both hard and gentle, feisty and loving. The woman I need beside of me, the woman I want to raise my child—my children.
It’s Friday night and Lexa is not happy that Raven has to go to work. I don’t want her going either, and I’m trying to make us both happy by convincing everyone that Willa will make a great replacement. Colt, Raider, and Hawk doesn’t seem to care one way or another if it’s Raven or Willa, as long as they have help and especially for Friday nights. Of course Raven is stubborn.
“The bar is as much mine as it is any of my brothers. I want to earn my keep,” she tells me as she pulls her hair out of the work shirt she just pulled over her head. “I don’t want to argue about it anymore, Bash.”
“Fine,” I mutter, but I’m not going to give up. There has to be some way to convince her to quit working at the bar. I may not find the solution today or next week, but I will find one.
Downstairs I find Lexa cuddled on the couch with Gracie, who’s reading her a book. Hawk asks me to hire her as a babysitter to give the girl some extra money, and I readily agree. Lexa likes Gracie. With Willa trying to distance herself from Lexa to make it easier for Raven, something she really doesn’t have to do since Lexa forgets all about Willa and any other person when she has Raven’s attention, Willa isn’t able to watch Lexa as much as she used to.
When Lexa sees that Raven is ready to go to work, she doesn’t attempt to plead again. She jumps up and hugs Raven tight. “You promise you will stay home with me tomorrow night?”
Raven crouches down in front of her, hugging her tight. “I swear it, Lexa. As soon as I get home from doing the books tomorrow, I’m all yours.”
Lexa pulls back enough to look at Raven’s face. After a long moment, as if the little girl is trying to look for any deception and finding none, Lexa smiles. “Will you braid my hair?”
“Of course. And you can paint my toenails.” Raven gives her another tight hug and kisses her cheek before standing. “Be good for Gracie, okay?”
“Okay.”
I pull out my wallet and hand Gracie some cash. “Order some pizza.” Lexa claps her hands happily.
“I showed you how to use the Epipen. I know she probably won’t need it, but if she does, use it and then call me.” Raven picks up her keys. She’s driving herself tonight since I have a few things to do before I can make it to the bar for the usual Friday night meeting with the Originals.
“Don’t worry, Raven.” Gracie gives her a reassuring smile. “Lexa will be fine.”
“Yeah …” She sighs then
blows Lexa a kiss. “Love you.”
“Love you too, Raven!” she calls back as Raven walks toward the front door. Before she can walk through the door, I catch her elbow and turn her to face me. She raises an eyebrow at me, but I just place a lingering kiss on her lips. When I pull back she was breathless.
“Love you,” I mutter against her lips as I steal one last kiss and then push her out the door.
Once I hear the Challenger pull out of the driveway, I drop a kiss on top of my daughter’s head and leave. I have to meet with Spider, and I’m not looking forward to it. I haven’t talked to him since he walked in on Raven and I making love. I know that Raven spent a few hours with him the Saturday before when she did Razor’s books. She even stopped by his apartment one night after work.
I don’t want to see him now, but he’s my enforcer, I have a few things that need his attention. I pull into the parking lot at Razor’s and turn off my bike. Spider’s hog is the only one left, and I can tell that he’s shutting down for the evening. I’d sent word through Raider that I’d be stopping by tonight so he’d know to have the place cleared out.
When I walk in Spider is punching something into the computer behind the front counter. He barely glances at me before turning his attention back to the screen. “I still owe you for getting the drop on me, fucker.” Just like that I know that we’re friends again. That’s the way it’s always been between me and Spider. I could probably shoot him and he’ll still forgive me.