‘What is it doing up my arse, Jeremy?’
‘You have a beautiful arse, Alex. I want to explore it more and since I won our bet, tonight I can. And the best thing is, I know I won’t have a single complaint from you.’ As his face explodes into a mischievous grin, I realise I haven’t dared to move an inch since he inserted the invader. The more tense I become, the more I feel it and try to squeeze it out but it just won’t budge. I’m not even game to put my hand anywhere near it. I am aghast, standing staring at him in the reflection.
‘The theme of our evening is Marco Polo,’ he states proudly as I maintain my mannequin position. He cannot be serious.
‘Just as he discovered undiscovered territories of the world, so am I going to explore and discover the undiscovered territories of your body.’
Oh god, he is serious and looking quite chuffed with himself.
‘Breathe, Alex, and you can move by the way. You will be okay, it will just feel a little strange until your body adjusts to the sensations it creates.’
‘Since when did you become such an expert on these things, Jeremy?’ I splutter the words at him.
‘Let’s just say I’m well researched.’
He bends down to pick up my foot. My body jerks in response to the forced movement as he deftly places my knickers back in position. His fingers gently feel the plug, giving it a little push and pull, which makes me gasp out loud before he adjusts my skirt back into a respectable position.
‘Perfect. Thanks for wearing a short skirt tonight, very convenient. Are you ready to join the others? We’ve been in here a while now.’
I stare at him in horror. It hadn’t yet dawned on me that I’d be expected to socialise.
His eyes twinkle at the look on my face.
‘Or would you prefer to go panty-less?’
‘God no!’ I freeze in fear at the thought. His lips twitch at the corners.
‘You can be such an arsehole, Jeremy.’
‘Oh, sweetheart, believe me I know, no pun intended I’m sure. And to think, the night has only just begun.’
I look at myself in the mirror and am surprised to see flushed cheeks and a post-orgasm glow on my face instead of the ashen pale face I was expecting due to the invasive plug.
‘I can assure you, you look more fantastic now than when we came in here and I have no doubt will continue to improve as we progress into the night.’ I look at him with an eyebrow raised, seeking further explanation.
‘I fully intend to remove the butt plug the same way it was inserted, but your orgasms will be far more dramatic outside the confines of a unisex toilet, I can promise you.’
His words send my cheeks into an even deeper blush and my vulva into warm spasms that ricochet against the butt plug. As I take a careful step toward the door, I notice the invader’s bite has been subdued and is now replaced by a strange tantalising, sexual pull. It surprises me.
‘Every time you feel it within you, think of me touching you and what is to come. In the meantime, let’s have a few drinks to loosen you up so you don’t look like you’ve got something stuck up your arse!’
He gives me a light slap on my backside and I tense causing the invader to assert its position inside me and then my nipples instantly harden at the sensation. Damn! Jeremy notices immediately.
‘God, I love your body, AB. It’s as if it talks directly to me.’
I congratulate myself for having eased back into conversation with my lab partners, Josh and Sally, reasonably successfully for the past half an hour, trying to ignore Jeremy’s winks and grins from the group beside us. I am resigned to the fact that the invader will be there until Jeremy removes it, mostly because I don’t want to touch it.
And it doesn’t feel too bad, actually, not too bad at all, but I’ll never admit that to him.
We are in the midst of a very animated discussion when suddenly the fucking plug starts to vibrate deep within me, causing me to jerk and throw my drink in the air. It lands all over poor Josh. The feeling is absolutely like nothing I have felt before and is intense. I try to apologise to Josh, but all I can do is hold on to the bar table, resting my head in my hands as I break into a sweat and start panting. Fucking Jeremy better turn this fucking vibrating monster off! The sensation is so strong I can’t even lift my head to throw him a death stare.
‘Alex … Jeez … what’s wrong? Are you alright? Here, come and sit down …’
Sit down? God no. But how can I explain that to your nearest and dearest friends?
Thankfully, he stops it.
‘Really … I’m okay … I’ll be fine,’ I pant out intermittently.
Jeremy strides coolly over to my side, putting on a great show of looking concerned for my welfare.
‘Alex, you don’t look well. Perhaps I should take you home?’
‘Yes, perhaps that is a good idea.’ I glare at him furiously for what he just did to me, but for once, I completely agree with him. Another stint like that in public would completely send me over the edge and I’m horrified to find myself in desperate need of his promised orgasm. ‘Let’s go. Now!’ He senses the urgency in my voice and efficiently gathers our belongings. We quickly say our goodbyes and promptly depart.
At home, he carefully, considerately, tenderly and lovingly deflowers my arsehole. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. In fact, the more I relax, the more open I am, and that gives Jeremy room to move within me. It feels tighter, strangely more intimate than vaginal sex, as though he is claiming me, owning me completely. The sensations are totally different, more focused on my lower back and my thighs, while my clit and front passage are being teased and caressed to throbbing intensity by Jeremy’s expert fingers.
What more can I say? Except that something I feared so much needn’t have caused me any anxiety whatsoever. Jeremy assures me such success can be attributed to the appropriate preparation and planning. As we lie naked in bed together, we are in awe of our bodies and the experience we have just shared together. Absolutely mind blowing.
Maybe I shouldn’t have fought him for so long on this issue … Oh well, either way, it was worth the wait.
‘Guess what? I have decided what I’m doing my honours thesis on,’ I state proudly as we caress each other with languid strokes.
‘Finally! Do share.’
‘I’m basing it on the writings of Sabina Spielrein, specifically examining the connection between masochism and the ego in relation to the female form.’
‘Wow, AB. Pretty heavy topics. Has it been approved?’
‘Yes, just this morning. I’m really excited.’
‘Any reason you decided on that in particular?’
Jeremy looks directly into my eyes, eagerly anticipating my answer.
Suddenly embarrassed by the look in his eyes and the tone of his question, I attempt to dismiss him by rolling on to my stomach and burying my head in the pillow.
‘Alexa? You’re not trying to hide from me, are you?’ He gently tries to pry me back over. ‘Oh Alex, there is absolutely no way I am going to let you get away with this.’
Shit, what have I started here? Why on earth didn’t I just answer him academically like I did with Professor Webster this morning?
He finally flips my body so I’m face up. He straddles my belly and starts to tickle me mercilessly and I, of course, shriek in response. ‘No, stop, please, I hate it,’ I gasp out between attacks.
‘No way, not until you promise to share.’ I’m trapped beneath him as his tortuous fingers continue their assault.
‘Okay, okay, I can’t stand it, please stop.’
He waits patiently for me to compose my breathing, anchoring my hands either side of my head so he has full view of my face. I decide to make it as fast and brief as possible.
‘I’ve always had this fantasy of being completely restrained and blind and flogged and pleasured and I want to understand the root cause because I’m deeply embarrassed by it. There, end of discussion.’
He look
s quizzically at me, a smirk on his face but his eyes wide. I silently beg him to leave it be.
‘Interesting.’ He stares at me thoughtfully, the silence expanding between us.
‘Did you enjoy tonight, Alex?’
‘Yes.’
‘A lot?’
‘Very much.’
‘Did you expect to?’
‘No, not really.’
‘I am more than happy to be directly involved in researching any part of your thesis.’
‘Thank you. I’ll bear that in mind.’
‘Thank you for sharing.’
And I can’t believe I’m off the hook.
‘Anyway, I’m thrilled that you are finally on your path of self-discovery. It means my plan is working exactly as I anticipated.’
‘Oh dear, there is nothing more ominous than you with a plan, Jeremy.’
‘Don’t sound so cynical, sweetheart. Look how far you have come already and we still have so far to go.’ He is just teasing me, I’m sure, although his reply is a little too enthusiastic to instil a large degree of confidence in my assumption. ‘Just out of interest, did you ever end up exploring the psychology of your hypotheses first-hand, like we discussed?’
‘No, Jeremy, I didn’t and besides, you would have known about it if I had.’
‘Oh, why is that?’
‘Do you really need to ask me that? As if I would do anything like that with anyone other than you.’
‘I can’t tell you how much that pleases me, Alexa, in so many ways.’ I’m not one hundred per cent sure what his comment implies but I am one hundred per cent sure I want to move away from this conversation, quickly.
‘Okay, far be it from me to put a dampener on this journey you have so carefully planned for me.’ I finish my coffee and place the empty container on the table.
I really need to use the bathroom after my coffee. This is going to be awkward. I can’t believe I have to ask him; it is so embarrassing. It is at these times that being dependent is just plain awful. But what choice do I have?
‘No problem, just in here.’ He guides me through a door. His hand threads through my legs and pulls a zipper down around my bottom, between my legs and up toward my belly. I can’t honestly believe he has just done that.
‘The toilet is right behind you. Oh, and don’t worry about your knickers. They’re French, for easy access.’ I can hear the smile in his voice.
‘I’ll leave you to it and wait outside.’
Is there one minutia of detail he hasn’t considered this weekend? Anything left unaccounted for? Probably not, he has always been a meticulous planner and obviously those skills have only been more finely tuned over the years. Zips and French knickers. Good grief! I wonder whether they are for convenience such as this, or did he have something else in mind? The thought shudders through me as I make myself focus on the task at hand.
‘Right, all set?’ he asks.
I nod.
‘Great, come with me. Let’s get you harnessed up.’
Oh crap, is all I can think.
My feet remain anchored to the ground as my stomach embarks on another roller-coaster ride of anticipation, fear, calm, fear, calm, fear, fear …
‘Harness …’ I ask hesitantly. ‘And that’s a statement, not a question,’ I add quickly for clarification.
He leads me silently and blindly forward. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll love it.’
‘Love it? Love what?’ My voice turns suspicious, as I cast around for something that I love that involves a harness. I draw a blank.
Straps are placed over my shoulders as I hear ‘click, click’. I feel rough hands around my legs doing the same thing; around my waist, ‘click, click’. It’s all I can hear as my anxiety rises.
‘Jeremy?’ They don’t feel like his hands. I can smell stale cigarettes.
‘How does that feel, love?’ A strange man’s voice. I realise he is talking to me as one strap is pulled tighter and readjusted. I am tugged and pulled, clipped and then a final snap.
‘That’s better,’ the voice says. ‘Looks like you’re both set. Don’t worry, love, you’ll be right once you get into the swing of it. It’s only the first part that’s shit scary.’ He laughs and pats my shoulder as if to reassure me. My voice leaves my throat and is unable to protest that I can’t see through these sunglasses, just as my legs begin to liquefy. Swing of it? Shit scary for the first part? Although my mouth is attempting to shape the words, there is no sound forthcoming. I desperately try to make sense of what is happening minus the visual stimulation. I have clothes on; that has to be good, doesn’t it? But the zips, the access between my legs, the straps, the clips, they are all very, very worrying. My mind is filled with images of wild sex games and orgies.
How could he? Why would he? This is going too far. I can’t do this, I will never do this … It is not who I am. My breath is shallow and my mind freezes as panic sets in.
I hear someone’s voice.
‘Alex?’ It is in the distance somewhere. My knees buckle as my head spins and I struggle for air. I crumple toward my feet and am caught before I hit the ground.
‘God, AB, are you alright?’
‘No, I am not alright at all.’ I’m not sure whether my mind or voice speaks the words.
‘Just take your time, breathe.’ Strong arms around me keep me walking somewhere as my legs wobble beneath me. ‘It’s okay, I’ve got you, that’s it, one step at a time.’
Yes, one step at a time, that’s right, stop the feeling, stop the spinning. Good advice, my mind confirms, as we continue up some steps and along a little further.
‘Here, sit down, would you like some water?’ I’m lowered onto a hard, cushioned seat.
Yes, water, good idea.
‘Alexa, water?’
I have already said yes, then I realise it’s my mind talking so maybe he hasn’t heard me. I nod my head. I feel water at my lips and take a sip, then some more. I need to prolong this to gain control over my head and stomach, and tell Jeremy we need to stop what we are doing.
Take a deep breath … My stomach is still churning but the dizziness is leaving me, thanks to the oxygen.
‘Keep breathing. Good, that’s better,’ a voice says, although I’m unsure whether it is the man’s or Jeremy’s. Breathe in, breathe out, air in, air out , I say to myself in concentrated effort.
‘Alex, please answer me, are you okay? Can you hear me? I’m not sure what happened to you.’
‘I, I’m, I’m a little …’ I hear a door close nearby. Sound becomes muffled.
‘It’s alright, I’m here, right beside you, sweetheart. Honestly, I won’t leave you.’ Something in his tone is mildly reassuring.
‘I can’t, I …’ Words still find it very difficult to follow the path from my brain to my lips. I take another sip of water. I hear another click around my waist and it sends me off. ‘I’m not going to be harnessed up in the air in some kinky sex machine, Jeremy.’
My voice is hoarse, frantic. ‘This needs to stop. How could you? With some man smelling of tobacco. I can’t believe you would ever put me in this situation. You can’t, I won’t.’
I feel tears welling up inside me and I swallow hard in an attempt to keep them there.
‘It’s too much, you have pushed me too far.’
‘Alex.’ Jeremy places his arm around my shoulders. ‘Is that what you’re thinking? What you thought I wanted you to do?’
Tears erupt and my shoulders shake. ‘I can’t, Jeremy, I won’t. I’m just not like that.’ I sob out the words.
‘Sweetheart, I’m not asking you to. This is meant to be fun for you, not something that makes you upset.’
‘How can it not, Jeremy? Look at me, I’m a mess.’
I hear engines roar into life, a propeller, movement.
‘What? We’re on a plane?’ I ask incredulously as the slow turning stops and we accelerate suddenly forwards. The force pushes my body back into the seat until suddenly we are swept off the gro
und and the atmosphere cradles the plane as it climbs higher and higher. My tears stop in their tracks. I throw Jeremy’s arm off my shoulder and swing my fist into where I assume his chest would be as hard as I possibly can.
‘You bastard,’ I screech. He catches my wrist just before full impact. ‘You absolute bastard!’ Holding my fist in his hand, he replaces his arm around my shoulder once again, anchoring me into the seat, knowing I am desperate to lash out toward him again. I can feel his body convulsing with silent laughter. I could explode as I struggle against him. His arms assert their strength and restrain me further.
‘Come on, AB, I can’t help it if you have a dirty mind. I thought we were just taking a plane ride and here you are, thinking about a kinky sex machine? You’ll have to share with me exactly what you had in mind …’
‘Oh, shut up, Jeremy, just shut up.’ He is in absolute hysterics, laughing uncontrollably. I snatch my arms away from him and fold them together defensively.
I don’t answer him. I am furious, deceived, embarrassed.
I can’t answer him, as I am honestly not sure of the answer myself. Where had the thought come from in the first place, why had my mind automatically leapt to that conclusion above all others? That has to be of concern.
As Jeremy is lost in wild hysterics, I take the opportunity to elbow him sharply in the ribs, causing him to choke on his laughter. This makes me feel a little better as I am seething from the inside out. I decide enough is enough with the glasses, the barriers covering my eyes, and desperately hope the potency of the drops has worn off. I quickly move my hand to peel the glasses off my face when just as quickly my hands are, yet again, snatched away from me. Is he ever not watching me?
‘Don’t you dare, Alex. We went through this last night and you know exactly what will happen.’ He pins both my wrists together in his one hand as if he is perfectly content to sit the rest of the journey this way. No remorse. No apology. I seethe in silence for what seems like ages.
His tone lightens again as he snuggles his face into my neck, the humour returning to his voice.
‘You must admit though, it is pretty funny.’
I can’t believe him.
‘There is absolutely nothing funny about it,’ I respond defiantly.