And I was suddenly terrified that was going to ruin me forever.
Chapter Fifteen
Luc
Natalie was a quivering mass of hunger beside me in the car. I couldn’t claim to be much better. I’d been hard as stone ever since I’d seen how turned on she was by the sight of that clamp pinching her tender nipple.
Just the thought of it brought my head around in the car, and I glanced down at her dress, aching to pull the bodice aside and devour those breasts with my mouth.
Since we weren’t alone, I shifted against the seat instead and tightened my fingers around hers where our hands rested on the seat between us. The movement did nothing to alleviate the ache in my stiff cock, and feeling Natalie tense beneath my palm only reminded me just how hot and aroused she still was.
The car pulled to a stop. I immediately popped my door open and pulled Natalie with me, desperate to get to the hotel. Her top teeth sank into her bottom lip as she stood and faced me. I took in her flushed cheeks and glazed eyes and knew she was suffering. Not from pain but from an intense arousal she needed released.
Fuck, I needed it too. I was more turned on than I’d ever been, and if I didn’t get inside her soon, I was afraid I might just lose it.
Taking her hand, I pulled her with me. “Come on. Just a few minutes more.”
I led her out of the parking lot and onto the dock while the driver got our bags. Ten feet from the water taxi, Natalie jerked back hard on my arm, and said, “No.”
Annoyance pulsed through me that she was fighting me now when we were minutes from complete and utter bliss. I turned toward her, intent on reminding her of that, but froze when I saw her eyes.
They weren’t glazed and lust-filled as they’d been in the car. These eyes were wide and brimmed with fear. Panic drained the color from her face as she yanked her hand from mine and scrambled backward on the dock, gripping the railing at her side until her fingers turned white. “No, no, no,” she muttered.
One glance over my shoulder told me her eyes were locked on the boat waiting to take us to our hotel.
“Hey.” I approached her slowly, confused by what was going on. “Everything’s okay.”
She let me wrap my arms around her, but I could feel her racing heart against me, and the way her fingertips dug into my pecs and she shook her head quickly from side to side told me this wasn’t just fear. It was terror.
“You don’t understand,” she whispered against me. “I can’t get on that thing. I can’t swim. Please don’t make me get on that.”
She trembled and clung to me like I was her last lifeline. My pulse shot up as I held her tight and rubbed a hand along her back, trying to soothe her. “Nothing bad is going to happen. These water taxis go back and forth all the time.”
“No.” Panic hitched her voice higher. “I can do almost anything you ask me to do, but not this.”
“I know you’re scared, but—”
“You don’t understand.” Her voice spiked. “My father threw me out of our boat and into the lake when I was five. He was trying to force me to learn to swim because he thought I was a sissy for being afraid. I sucked in too much water, and I almost drowned. The paramedics had to come. I haven’t been able to go near a boat since. I haven’t—”
“Okay.” My own heart pounded hard at the scene she painted in my mind. “Okay,” I said again, in part to reassure myself that she was okay but also to calm my suddenly raging temper at what had been done to her. “We won’t get on the boat. I’ll have the taxi take our luggage to the hotel, and you and I will walk.”
She buried her face in my chest and shook. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “When you said we were going to Venice, I was so excited. I thought I would be okay, but then I saw the boat, and I just—”
“Shh.” I held her tighter. “It’s okay. I’m not upset.”
She relaxed into me. Her hands slid around my back, and she turned her cheek until it rested just above my heart in a way that was so tender, everything inside me ached to console her.
“I don’t understand you,” she whispered long minutes later.
“What don’t you understand?” I asked, tracing my hand up and down her spine.
“How you can be so caring when a few minutes ago you wanted to…”
My chest contracted. “When I wanted to hurt you?”
She swallowed against me and whispered, “Yes.”
Her vulnerability absolutely shattered me, and the way she clung to me filled my soul with so much sweetness, my heart felt as if it might burst.
Framing her face, I drew back and looked down into her damp eyes. “Did the clamps really hurt you? For more than a few seconds?”
“No.”
“Do your nipples hurt now?”
She blushed. “No. They’re…tingly.”
“And are you wet?”
Her eyelids dropped. “Yes,” she whispered.
“Natalie.” I tipped her chin higher, forcing her to meet my eyes. Forcing her to see the truth. I was already demolishing my plan, not even twelve hours after I’d made it, but I didn’t care. I knew in the long run what I was about to admit might make things worse, but I needed her to understand. She’d just laid herself bare before me, and I wanted to give her the same. Yes, I needed her to listen to me so I could keep her safe, but not at the expense of damaging what was so precious inside her. I wasn’t my father. I wasn’t my brother. I’d hate myself forever if I truly broke her.
I brushed my thumb across her jaw. “I’m not a sadist. What I do, I don’t do for pain. It’s for pleasure. To train your mind and body to surrender to someone who only wants to please you.”
Her gaze searched mine. Aroused yet wary at the same time. “I’m not like those models back in New York. I can’t call you sir like they did with Gio.”
The corner of my mouth tipped up. “Why would you do that? Sir is an admission someone else has power. I know your mind too well, Ms. James. You’d never admit I’m in control.”
A shy smile pulled at her lips as she looked down at my shirt, and it was so sweet, so pure, it revved my heart and made me realize this woman had absolutely no idea what she could do to me.
I shouldn’t say anything else. I’d already revealed way more than was safe, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “I won’t lie and say I don’t want to dominate you, because I do. But I wouldn’t even try if you didn’t enjoy it just as much. Last night, when I saw the way you reacted to me, it made me crazed to give you more. You think I have the power here, but I don’t. You do. You can shatter me with a single look. You can make me melt with just a smile. And when you trust me, like you did on the plane, it makes me absolutely fucking weak. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to open your eyes and take you places you never knew were possible. I want you so desperate for my touch you can’t think, only feel, only give in to the desires I know you hide. And then I want to touch you and hold you and kiss you until you feel safe and know you’re mine. Because you are. You were mine the moment you let that dress fall to the floor last night. You were mine the second you let me touch you.”
Her eyes darkened. And her mouth was on mine before I could take a breath, her tongue sliding between my lips and over mine to drive me completely wild.
Desire raced through my veins like an electrical shock as I gripped her jaw harder and took control of the kiss, tasting her deeper, letting all the lust and hunger inside me free.
Her arms slid up my back. Her hands tightened in my shirt. Against my lips, she whispered, “I need you. I need you right now.”
I groaned because I needed her too. So fucking bad. My dick was a rod of steel.
Sucking in air, I lifted my head and glanced over the dock and the buildings around us, looking for anywhere even semiprivate I could drag her and satisfy this burning hunger inside us both. “Our hotel’s on the other side of the city. It’ll take us at least a half hour to get there on foot.” Probably longer because I’d be in pain the whole way. “Cazzo.”
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She lowered her face to my throat and fisted my shirt tighter at my back. “H-how long by boat?”
I stilled and looked down at her. “Ten minutes.”
“I can’t walk like this for a half hour.” She turned her face into my throat and trembled. “If we take the boat, will you—”
“I’ll protect you.” My pulse raced. “Nothing will happen to y—”
“No, I meant will you keep me distracted so I can’t see?” she asked in a small voice. “If I don’t see the water, maybe I won’t…freak out.”
My heart cracked open wide, and I completely fell for this woman, right there on the dock. She might struggle with the thought of submission, but she was giving herself to me in the midst of her greatest fear, and she didn’t even realize it.
“I can do that.” I lifted her into my arms, my heart racing as I turned toward the boat. “Hold on to me. And keep your face pressed to my neck.”
Her arms wound tightly around my shoulders, and she buried her face in the space between my throat and collarbone. She tensed as I headed down the dock and stepped into the boat. Holding her closer, I moved beneath the canopy where the wind and spray wouldn’t reach us, then sat and cradled her on my lap, stroking one hand up and down her spine and the other across her thigh to reassure her.
The water taxi’s engine hummed as we pushed away from the dock, and her whole body went rigid against me. Afraid she might stop breathing, I leaned close to her ear and whispered all the naughty things I planned to do to her when we reached the hotel. And to distract her, I bumped the nipple clamp still attached to her breast with my elbow.
She groaned and breathed hot against my neck. My dick swelled even more, making it painful to sit.
The short trip through the Grand Canal was the longest of my life. I’d always found this city breathtaking, but tonight I didn’t see the early evening lights flickering off the water. I didn’t see the gondolas or the Old World architecture or even the arched bridges. All I saw was her—this gorgeous, vulnerable, powerful woman who had ensnared me with her sweetness.
I was sweating by the time we reached the dock to the Gritti Palace. Pushing to my feet, I tightened my arms around her and climbed out of the boat. She gasped against me but held on tighter. I knew I could put her down now that we were on land, but I didn’t want to add any kind of delay.
I carried her into the hotel and lowered her feet to the ground only so I could check us in. Ten minutes later, I had her pressed up against the wall of the elevator as I devoured her mouth.
“Luc,” she gasped, lifting her leg over my hip and pressing all her hot wet heat against me while she clawed at my back. “I can’t wait.”
I couldn’t either. I was past the point of reason. I slid my hands under her ass and lifted her off the floor. She immediately wrapped her legs around my waist and kissed me harder.
The elevator came to a stop, and the doors opened. I didn’t look to see if anyone was waiting for the lift. Didn’t even care. Keeping my lips on hers, I carried her down the hall to our room and pressed her spine up against the door long enough to use the key. Once inside, I slammed the door, shifted her around, and trapped her between the hard wood and my even harder body.
“Cazzo, Natalie. I need to feel how wet you are.” My blood pumped hard and fast, condensing in my cock as I wrapped one arm around her to hold her up and used the other to slide two fingers straight into her pussy.
“Oh yes…” She tightened around me. “More.”
She was absolutely dripping. My erection throbbed with the need to thrust hard and deep inside her. I growled and kissed her, unable to wait another second. Pulling my hand free of her slick center, I grappling with my belt.
She groaned at the loss of my touch. But the instant I let her down, her hands shot right to my fly, tugging the button open and ripping the zipper down. I reached for a condom from my pocket. Her soft, hot, tantalizing fingers darted into my pants and found my cock. I grunted at her wicked-hot touch and leaned forward to kiss her. She wrapped her hand around my shaft and squeezed, sliding her fist up to cuff the head, then working it back down. Pleasure arced through me. There was no way I was going to last if she kept that up.
“Santo Dio, stop. You’re making me fucking mad.”
She giggled, and the sound was so light, so right, so perfect, I couldn’t help but smile as I sheathed myself.
Reaching for her, I lifted her off the floor once more. Her legs immediately slid around my waist. I nipped at her lower lip. “That giggle is going to get you fucked, Ms. James.”
“Yes, yes, yes.” She gripped my shoulders and kissed me. “Oh yes, Luc, now, now please now.”
Her plea was gasoline to a spark. I thrust deep inside her. She gasped at the tight fit, and the sound heightened my lust and made me groan. Drawing partway out, I drove inside her again, wanting to get as deep as I possibly could when I exploded, which I knew wouldn’t take long after how worked up she’d made me.
“Oh fuck.” Her head dropped back against the door, and her eyes slid closed in pure ecstasy. “That feels like heaven. Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.”
I couldn’t. I was too far gone. Ready to detonate. Grasping her dress at the bodice, I pulled hard. Fabric tore as I flexed my hips and plunged inside her again and again. Finding the front clasp on her bra, I flicked it free. Her gorgeous breasts spilled into my hand. I fingered the right nipple clamp. She moaned long and deep. Every time the small metal clasp moved, her pussy tightened around my cock to almost painful levels.
“I’m gonna take this off,” I grunted, driving into her harder. “It’s going to hurt when the blood rushes back to your nipple, but it’ll make you come so hard, you won’t care. Are you ready?”
She lifted her head, tightened her arms around my shoulders. Lust glazed her eyes when they held on mine. “Do it.”
I pulled the clasp free. Her whole body jerked, and she cried out as her pussy pulsed around my aching cock with the force of her orgasm.
I thrust harder. Faster. Couldn’t stop. Shoving aside the other half of her bra, I released the second clasp. Another orgasm hit her the instant it was free, this one even stronger than the last, making her scream so loud I knew anyone in the hall or elevator could hear her. And as it claimed her, it triggered my release.
The orgasm streaked down my spine and exploded in my balls, erupting with so much force, I lost all ability to think or see or even hear. All I could do was feel. Feel her giving me everything I’d never known I’d wanted.
Finally giving me a reason to truly live.
* * *
It made zero sense, but after the amazing evening Natalie had given me, I felt…guilty.
As I lay in bed later with her curled against me, her hand drawing lazy circles against my chest, her sexy legs entwined with mine beneath the sheet, I tried to shove aside the guilt but couldn’t. We’d shared a delicious dinner naked in our elegant suite, had pleasured each other until we were both weak, and now we were comfortably silent as the twinkling lights of Venice shone through the windows.
Except…I wasn’t comfortable. This pressure in my chest told me I was a hypocrite. This woman knew almost everything about who I was inside, and yet I’d shared virtually nothing about where I’d come from or what had shaped me into the man I’d become. I knew all about her jackass father. I knew how her best friend’s death had changed her plans for the future. I even knew about that louse of a lover who hadn’t appreciated or pleasured her in the ways she deserved. She’d given me almost everything, and I’d shared nearly nothing. If I truly wanted her to belong to me, I had to make myself as vulnerable as she’d been with me on that dock.
I skimmed my hand down her arm as I stared up at the coffered ceiling and gathered my courage. “I hate Italy.”
Her fingers stopped their lazy circles against my chest. “You do?”
“With a passion.”
“You haven’t acted like you hate it.”
“Th
at’s because you’re here with me. If I hadn’t been desperate to get you away from my brother, I wouldn’t have come on this trip. I’d have sent someone else and stayed as far away as I could.”
She pushed up on her elbow and smiled at me. The warmth in her eyes told me she liked that answer. The heat resurging in my veins told me I liked her liking that answer.
“Speaking of your brother.” Her gaze dropped to my throat. “He texted me.”
My stomach tightened because I didn’t like the sound of that. “When?”
“At the Cipriani fashion show.”
“What did he want?”
Her gaze lifted back to mine. “To tell me his new assistant is terrible and that he wants me to join him in the Caribbean.”
My jaw clenched reflexively. I’d known Giovanni wouldn’t leave her alone. When my brother set his sights on something, there was very little that could be done to distract him. If I hadn’t known before that bringing Natalie with me to Italy was the right decision, I did now. She wouldn’t have been safe in New York even with Giovanni thousands of miles away. “And what did you tell him?”
“Well.” A sexy smirk tugged at her lush mouth as she glanced up toward the ceiling. “I have always wanted to lie on a white sand beach, soaking up the rays.”
She was teasing me. Instead of growing jealous or angry, the pressure and guilt I’d felt before slowly slipped away. “Oh, is that tempting to you?”
She grinned and looked down at me once more. “Only if you’re there with me.”
Something warm and light filled my chest. I slid my fingers into her hair, knowing I didn’t deserve this woman who was both sweet and good, wanting her even more.
“But no,” she went on. “Your brother is definitely not tempting to me. And I didn’t respond to his text. I ignored him.”
A relief I hadn’t known I needed slid though me. “Don’t worry about Giovanni. I’ll make sure he leaves you alone.”