My insides that had felt so twisted up for so long now suddenly relaxed. In truth, I had been terrified constantly for the last few weeks. Even if Cole really was following me around, he couldn’t touch me. Alex was right. He’d given everything to protect me. And even if Cole could get me, Alex was more than capable of protecting me.
I felt myself relax and Alex wrapped his arms around my shoulders and cradled me into his chest. Maybe I didn’t have to be afraid of Cole anymore but I still couldn’t get the question of why out of my head.
Alex’s phone started ringing. As he pulled it out and checked the caller ID, a smile crossed his face. “Hey, it’s Rod!”
I smiled at Alex as he answered the phone with an excited “What’s up!” and went back inside to give him some privacy.
Rod was Alex’s best friend and could have been his twin if not for the extreme difference in their skin color. I had met Rod once but had not exactly gotten to know him well since I had been having massive swings between normality and being within moments of death.
I went to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. I downed the entire thing in one breath, the same way I used to down caffeinated beverages when I went without sleep for days on end. It was the first thing I had drunk since Austin had poured a massive amount of hot chocolate down my throat the day I nearly passed out.
“Hey.”
I spun around as I heard the door open and Emily walked in. She dropped her purse on the floor and flopped down on the couch.
“Hey,” I said as I put the cap back on the bottle and threw it into the recycle bin. I then noticed the look of unrest on Emily’s face and could almost cut through the unhappiness that was rolling off of her. “Is something wrong?”
Emily’s eyes dropped and she started picking at a hangnail. “I heard back from the University today. I didn’t get the teaching job. They said they found someone ‘better qualified’ for the job.” She made quotation marks in the air with her fingers.
“Oh Emily, I’m so sorry,” I said as I crossed to the living room.
Just then Alex came back inside, a wide grin plastered on his face. “That was Rod. He said he’s moving up here for the rest of the summer. He’s found an apartment and needs some help moving in. I’m going to help him unload the truck. Sounds like it’s in the same area as your place, Emily.”
“Who’s Rod?” Emily asked, irritation in her voice.
Alex gave Emily a slightly surprised look when he heard her tone. It lasted only a moment though before that brilliant smile was back. “My best friend from California. I’ll invite him over for dinner tonight.”
“You sure you want to do that?” I asked him. “Are you going to be able to fake eating an entire meal?”
Alex shrugged his shoulders slightly, his smile and mood undeterred. “I’ll figure it out. I want you to meet him Emily. And I want you to get to know him a little better, Jessica. As long as you don’t mind him coming over that is.”
I gave a little chuckle at this. “It’s your house. And of course I don’t mind.”
If it was possible, Alex’s smile widened as he closed the gap between us and laid his hands on either side of my waist. “It’s as much your house as much as it is mine,” he said quietly. His eyes burned with such intensity I couldn’t form any coherent thoughts. He gently pressed a kiss to my lips, leaving my own burning and tingling in an intoxicating way. My head was spinning when he took half a step away, still keeping his hands on my waist.
“I’ll be back tonight. You’re invited too, Emily. I’m not sure exactly how long this will take but I’ll plan on being back by at least seven so I can get dinner made. I love you,” he said as he pressed a quick peck to my forehead and headed out the door.
“I love you too,” I breathed. It was ridiculous how my entire body ached when he let go of me and walked out the door. Things may have been tense between us but I still knew the way I could light up whenever we were together.
I instantly regretted the smile that was plastered on my face when I looked back at Emily. The glare that was on her face literally made me jump.
“Emily…” I stuttered. “What…what’s the matter?”
It took a moment for Emily to speak and I saw the blood build up under her skin as her face turned a bright color of red and purple.
“It’s not fair!” she finally exploded. I took a step back. “It’s not fair!” she screamed again.
“What?” I said as I took another step back. “Emily, what’s going on?”
“It’s not fair that you get to be so happy and have mister perfection fawning all over you! It’s not fair that you get the two most flawless looking men in all the history of the world chasing after you with their tongues hanging out of their mouths.
“Why can’t I find someone who is so ridiculously in love with me that he would give his life for me? You guys might be fighting lately but you’re still gushing with so much love it almost makes me sick.”
“Emily, I…” I tried to stop what I knew was only the tip of whatever iceberg had been turning Emily cold the past two months or so.
“He’s so perfect, Jessica,” Emily interrupted me and I saw her eyes turn red and moisture pooled in them. “Alex is not at all my type but with a face like that how can you not drool over him? You have to see the way other women look at him when you go out. And he’s with you. He’s yours. There’s no question about that, about how much he loves you. Even if you didn’t know what he did for you. All you have to do is see the way he looks at you! It’s enough to drive any woman insane! You have a literal angel who loves you I think more than any of us can comprehend!”
She paused for a moment and took a few sobbing breaths even though the tears had not broken from her eyes yet. I was in too much of a stunned shock to say anything.
“And I’m all alone. All these guys I’ve gone out with lately, they’re nothing. I’m just a body to them. I don’t even have someone who has a school boy crush on me. I don’t have some way beyond ‘trophy’ boyfriend to tote around and drive other women crazy. I don’t have anyone to kiss me like Alex just did you, to tell me that he loves me. I’m all by myself.”
When Emily fell silent I could only stand there in stunned silence. I hadn’t had anyone blow up at me like that since Jason.
It took me a moment before I could make my brain work somewhat and move to the couch. I sat a foot away from Emily, debating whether to hit her or hug her. I still wasn’t sure how to take everything she had said.
“I’m not going to step away from Alex,” I said in a low voice, keeping my eyes on Emily’s face as she stared straight ahead. “I plan on staying with him for as long as he will allow, perhaps even longer than that if I have to.”
To my shock, Emily gave a barking laugh, wiping tears from her eyes. “Oh my heck, Jessica,” she said with a half-smile, finally looking me in the eye. She suddenly looked very tired. “Believe me; I’m not looking to steal Alex from you. Like I said, he is not my type. I’m just…”
“What?” I encouraged, suddenly relieved Emily wasn’t looking to steal the love of my life away. I didn’t think I could compete with her; Emily was one of the prettiest and most congenial women I knew.
“I’m jealous! And I know it’s shallow and for mostly superficial reasons but that’s the way it is. I want my own mister perfection that makes every woman around jealous of me because of the fact that he chose to be with me and not any of them! I know that sounds terrible but,” she paused for a moment here and I could tell she was choking back those tears. “I’m so tired of being alone.”
She was quiet after that and I could tell the worst of it was over. I cautiously wrapped an arm around her and when she didn’t jerk away I wrapped the other around her and pulled her into a firm embrace.
“There’s someone out there for you too, Emily,” I said softly. “Any man would be lucky to have you. You’re one of the most amazing people I know.”
“But how can I do that to anyone???
? she whispered. “What I’ve done… how can I do that to a good man? By being with him? I’m already damned.”
I felt my body freeze as she said these last words. I suddenly understood what the real problem was and what had been leading up to her explosion only moments before. In order to stop her own nightmares, Emily had made sure what her own judgment would be. She had murdered her sexually abusive step-father and the nightmares had stopped. She ensured she would be granted black eyes come her own judgment day and receive her own branding.
Emily was my best friend and I felt sick to my stomach that I didn’t know what to say to her. What kind of friend was I?
Emily saved me from wallowing however when she took a sniff and sat up slightly, wiping the tears away. “Did you think any more about what I said? About Cole lying?”
I was taken aback by her sudden change in conversation but grateful for it at the same time. “Uh…yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about it but haven’t really come up with a reasonable explanation. I just keep asking myself why, over and over.”
Emily considered this for a moment before she spoke again. “Where is Cole? Did he go back?”
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling like I was only telling a half truth. I had my suspicions. “I somehow doubt he went back to where he belongs though. Cole doesn’t seem to like to do what he’s supposed to. He’s the leader of the condemned for a reason.”
“Huh,” Emily said and was quiet for several long moments that stretched into nearly a full minute. Finally she sat up straight, fixed her hair and face, and stood, clutching her purse. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, Jessica. I guess I just needed to vent. You really are a good friend.”
“Any time,” I said with a slight smile as I looked up at her.
“I think I’m gonna’ go now,” she said. I could see different emotions and thoughts mixing on her face but she kept them under control. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“See ya,” I said as she walked to the door.
X
“Are you going to eat that, Jessica?” Rod said as he eyed the last half of my steak.
I chuckled as I shook my head. “Go for it,” I said, silently grateful someone wanted it. It seemed horrible to waste such perfectly cooked food. There were times when I wished I did eat more.
“Sweet!” he said as he stabbed his fork into the juicy meat and set it on his own plate. He cut a large portion off and shoved it into his mouth. “So do you have any other beautiful women in this town, Alex?” Turning to me he said, “You wouldn’t happen to have an equally beautiful female friend for me, would you, Jessica?”
Again I laughed, as I had been doing all night. Watching Alex and Rod together was like watching a comedy routine. “Like I said, I wish I could get a hold of Emily. I don’t know where the heck she is. But she does live really close to your new place.”
“I’ll have to go and introduce myself to my new neighbor,” Rod said with a wide, blinding smile. The contrast between the color of his skin and his smile was almost startling.
“You should,” I said, internally really, really hoping that Emily might get along with Rod. She needed someone apparently. I didn’t have high hopes though, Rod could have been Alex’s brother, and Emily had said twice that Alex wasn’t her type.
Alex had been quite sneaky in pretending to eat the food that had covered his plate. I just really hoped the small pile of food off the side of the deck where we ate wouldn’t draw out the animals. At least Rod didn’t have a clue. Apparently he wasn’t totally oblivious to the fact that something about Alex wasn’t right.
“So what did you do, Alex? Go and get plastic surgery? I was going to ask you all day, just couldn’t make myself say it,” he said as his brow furrowed and he looked intently in Alex’s face.
Alex burst into laughter but I wondered if Rod noticed the slight signs of anxiety on his face like I did.
“Come on, man,” he chuckled as he stole a slight glance in my direction. “Why would I go and do a thing like that?”
“I have no idea but I just wondered why you’re all pretty boy now? And how many times a day are you working out now? Cause I know that you know how bad those ‘roids are for you.” Rod’s face had suddenly become more serious than I’d ever seen it before.
Alex’s face fell for just the slightest of moments, as if he didn’t know how to explain away how he had suddenly gotten the face and body of an angel. It was quickly recovered though before I figured Rod even noticed it. “It’s called aging gracefully. If you’re lucky, when you get to be my age, you’ll look as good.”
Rod’s face was serious for a second after Alex’s necessary lie before he burst into laughter.
Alex didn’t age at all anymore.
“Whatever man! But you do look good! Not too sure about the weird gray contacts but you do look good.”
I realized I had been holding my breath and let it out in one big whoosh as I joined in the laughter. I was glad Rod had assumed wrong about Alex’s eyes, I was getting tired of lying all the time.
The night passed by in an all too quick state of perfect happiness. This was the way life was supposed to be. Spending time with the man I loved most, seeing him with his best friend, and laughing as if nothing in the world was wrong. As if that man I loved wasn’t dead, wasn’t constantly holding back a massive, beautiful pair of wings, as if I didn’t have my own pair of wings raised directly in my skin, and an X branded into the back of my neck.
CHAPTER SEVEN
JESSICA
I woke with a jump, the way one wakes when you hear a noise that doesn’t belong. Or maybe it was the absence of it; the house was perfectly silent as I strained my ears, searching for the cause of my sharp awakening.
I was alone in the bed but when I placed a hand on the sheets I found them still with traces of warmth, Alex had been in the bed within the last ten minutes or so.
“Alex?” I called, again straining my ears for any signs of life. Only silence met my ears. I swung my legs off the bed and walked out into the tiny living room.
“Alex?” I called out, only to be met with silence again.
The living room and kitchen were empty, as was the family room in the basement. I knocked on the closed door to Alex’s room and when I got no answer, I poked my head inside.
The room was devoid of Alex’s presence. I noted however that Alex’s red t-shirt was lying on the floor, a drawer of his dresser pulled open. This seemed a little strange, Alex kept his room obsessively clean, however little time he spent in it. It was unlike him to leave clothes on the floor.
I checked his bathroom next, only to find it empty. The walls of the shower were still wet though, evidence that he had been in there recently.
I returned to his bedroom and noticed Alex’s phone, wallet, and leather wrist band were sitting on top of his dresser. He never left home without those things.
A quick search of the house revealed he was nowhere inside. I checked the garage and found the truck, my GTO, and the motorcycle all still parked inside. After checking in the back, I found both the canoe and kayak in their places.
My mind reeled as I pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a tank top. It was unlike Alex to leave without telling me where he was going and he never went on walks without me as far as I knew. There was only one other place he could be.
I let myself into Sal’s house after knocking once, as usual. Sal was sitting on one of her couches, the book I had brought home for her a few days ago clutched in her hands.
“Is Alex here?” I asked as I looked around.
“No, I haven’t seen him,” Sal said without looking up from her book for even a moment.
I checked around the house just in case. It wouldn’t surprise me if Alex had come to help Sal with something and Sal forgot he was here. But after only a few minutes, I ruled that Alex wasn’t anywhere at Sal’s.
“Do you need anything Sal?” I asked, feeling distracted and only asking out of habit.
Sal did
n’t say anything, or if she did I didn’t hear or notice. I let myself out the door and walked back home. I had just gotten back into my apartment and grabbed the phone to call Rod when I heard the doorbell ring.
I dashed up the stairs to answer it, expecting anyone else in the world to be there than the person who was.
“Amber?” I said in disbelief as I took her in, standing so unpredictably there in my doorway.
I nearly didn’t recognize my now eighteen-year-old sister. Not only had she been thirteen the last time I had seen her, but her face was slightly distorted looking, with a massive black eye, a split lip, and another dark shadow on one of her cheeks.
“Hi Jess,” she said with a sad half smile. The action caused her lip to split again, a thin line of blood forming on it.
“Oh my gosh!” I gasped. “Are you okay? Come in here!”
I grabbed her arm and pulled her inside, closing the door behind us.
“Amber, what happened?” I asked as I looked closer at her, my brow furrowed.
She wouldn’t look at me for a moment. She simply stared at where the stone fireplace rose up into the rafted ceiling. When she finally did look at me there were tears swimming in her eyes.
“I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t let them see this and I couldn’t cover it up this time,” she said, the last few words coming out as a sob. She unexpectedly threw her arms around me, nearly knocking me over. I realized then she was a good two inches taller than me now.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I said softly as I patted her hair, horrified to see the bruised imprint of fingers on her arm, just below her shoulder. “Who did this to you?”
“Todd,” she said with disgust as she stepped away and wiped tears from her cheeks. I led her to the couch and we both sat on the aging leather. “I feel so stupid. He promised he wouldn’t do it again. He said he was sorry and that he loved me. He knocked me out last night, Jessica, he hit me that hard.”