She was so good. Patient, kind, and thoughtful. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to be a mom and have kids of her own.
He could make that happen for her. He could give her that.
He pulled a pair of sweats from one of the drawers around his bed, headed to the bathroom, and changed into them. He checked on Maddie and Emmy, then found Kimberly excitedly relaying their entire evening to Liv in a hushed whisper.
“Are you letting Lia sleep in your bed, Dad?”
“Yes. She’s upset about something and I want her to stay here until I know she’s okay. Good night, girls.”
“Daddy. It was the best birthday ever, even though Mommy wasn’t here.”
Unable to speak, Gabe nodded and kissed the top of her head. When he walked back to the living room, he found Lia awake and sitting on the edge of the sofa.
“Sounds like you really hit this one out of the park,” Lia said softly.
He shrugged. “It was all you, Lia. I just followed orders. The dress, the limo, the restaurant.”
“Gabriel.” She said nothing else until he met her gaze. “Your daughter didn’t want anybody else but you with her tonight.”
Huh. That was true. “Yeah.” He brightened at the thought. “Yeah, that’s true.” He crouched beside the sofa, ran the back of his hand down Lia’s face. “And you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Fine. I’d better go. It’s late and I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
“Stay.”
“Oh. I don’t—”
“Lia. Be with me tonight. Please.”
Lia’s entire face softened. Slowly, she leaned in and pressed her mouth to his. “There is really nowhere else I’d rather be.”
He tucked her into his bed, loved her slowly. Gently. Everything between them was usually rushed, sandwiched between all their other responsibilities. Tonight, he wanted her to feel it, to know it all the way down to her atoms, that she wasn’t just loved.
She was treasured.
She was respected.
She was everything.
He opened his eyes, astonished to see it was around six a.m., which meant everyone had slept through the night. All night, he dreamed of how life could be if he and Lia were married. They’d waited long enough. It was time to move forward. He lay there, plotting it all out in his head.
He’d take her out today. He’d buy her flowers, take her someplace fancy, lay it all out for her, tell her what she meant to him, tell her about all the plans and dreams he’d tried to bury with Janey that were still there, hiding in one of the broken pieces of his heart until Lia helped him find them.
Homework was done and the girls had no huge projects due or tests to study for. Chores, though. He needed groceries. Kimberly could watch her sisters after he put Emmy and Maddie to bed tonight. He could take Lia to Il Piacere. The food was great, the atmosphere quiet. In fact, he’d call Sal, the maître d’ and arrange things so that the ring he’d already bought could be put in her glass or on her plate.
No, that was boring.
He’d buy a book. Lia loved Austen. He’d buy a hardcover edition, tie the ring onto a ribbon and put it between the pages, like a bookmark.
Okay. He had a lot to do today and a lot riding on what he had to do today, so time to get moving.
He got up, used the bathroom, headed for the coffee maker in the kitchen. Lia, he noted, was a sprawler. The knowledge, the intimacy of it, made him grin. Of all the things he missed about Janey, it was intimacy that he missed the most. Sharing private jokes and secret dreams, even the ridiculous ones not even Mike knew about.
“What are you smiling about in the middle of the night?” she said and he nearly leaped out of his body.
“How long have you been awake?” he demanded, coming to sit beside her on his bed.
“Since you used the bathroom.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” He leaned down, kissed her full on the mouth.
She squeaked in protest. “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
“Don’t care.” He kissed her again.
Her hair spilled over his pillow and he hoped it would smell like lilacs now. Purple and peach—not a typical color pairing he’d ever seen in the clothing stores the girls dragged him into, but they reminded him of Lia. Lilacs in her hair, peaches on her lips.
“Lia. I saw the messages on your phone. I am so sorry.”
She froze in his arms and then pulled away. “It is what it is,” she said with a shrug and that rage balled up inside him again. What a stupid saying that was. People—friends, even Linda and Stuart—had said that same thing to him after Janey died. As if it helped.
Helplessness replaced his rage. “Talk to me, Lia.”
She shook her head. “About what? He has a baby. I never will.” She tossed aside the covers and headed for the bathroom. He gave her a couple of minutes and then he followed.
“You done in here?”
“Yes, you can use—”
“Don’t need to use it.”
He reached out, hauled her against him, and touched his mouth to hers, waited the second it took for her to catch up, and poured himself into the kiss. When it was over, he had to sit on the edge of the tub or he’d have fallen. Lia felt it, too. She sank down to the toilet facing him, head cocked to one side, a tiny frown line between her eyebrows.
“Whoa,” she said.
“Good whoa or bad whoa?”
Lia smiled. “Good whoa. Always good. How do you do that?”
“Truth is, I don’t do anything. It’s all you.” He leaned over, took her hand, stroked his thumb over the soft skin and let those words sink in. She loved him. She had to. Would she deal with all his chaos if she didn’t?
“Lia, what would you say if I told you I’ve always wanted to open my own engineering firm?” he suddenly blurted.
Lia’s eyes popped wide. “I’d say you should totally do it. It would be a ton of work, but luckily, you know a virtual assistant who could provide all sorts of organization tips and help whenever you needed it.”
He felt twenty pounds lighter. “What about you? What have you always wanted to do?”
Lia bit her lip and whispered. “I’m already doing it. My little business. I’ve wanted to expand it for years and it’s finally happening.” She slid her hands along his thighs but he caught them so he could think straight.
Frowning, he asked, “Why did you say it was little? Your business.”
“I don’t know,” she admitted with a shrug. “It’s just what Jared—”
“I’m not Jared,” he reminded her for what had to be the hundredth time. “I think your business is awesome. I love that you’re expanding it with new clients and soon, a staff of your own. I know all about the work it takes, wearing all those hats, and you impress and inspire me.”
Believe me, he begged her silently. “You know, not even Mike knows about my imaginary firm. I can tell you all the things nobody else knows about me.”
She smiled and he stared at her for a minute or two. Why couldn’t she admit they’d crossed a bridge, one he’d been dead sure he’d never travel again? He took a deep breath and dove in.
“Lia, last night was amazing. Kimberly was so happy.”
Her smile widened.
“It’s because of you,” he continued. “I wouldn’t have thought of any of those things by myself.”
“We make a pretty good team.”
A team. Yeah. Yeah, exactly that. Certain now, his smile bloomed as he took the leap. “We do. We really do. Let’s get dressed. I’ve got some chores to do this morning but I want to take you out tonight. Nice dinner. Dress-up clothes.” He stood, found his razor and the shaving cream.
“You’re gonna put the suit back on?” Her eyebrows rose.
“Women love men in suits,” he said, dropping his voice down real low and waggling his eyebrows.
But she didn’t laugh. Instead, she shook her head, turned on the faucet, splashed water on her face. “I don’t think I’d
be very good company,” she finally said, grabbing the towel he kept on a hook next to the sink.
Gabe sighed and scratched his neck. So much for all his big plans. Maybe…maybe he should just…ask. No fanfare. No gimmicks. The truth. The whole of it.
“Your ex’s news really shook you, didn’t it?”
Her eyes snapped to his, her pain clear. “Yes, Gabriel, it did. Of course it did.”
“Why?”
Her face changed, exasperation twisting her features. “Why? Oh, I don’t know,” she said, flinging the towel at the sink. “Maybe because karma is clearly a stupid bitch who keeps punishing me instead of him?” She put her hands on her hips, nostrils flaring.
Gabe’s eyebrows shot to his hairline at Lia’s language.
“First he cheats, then he leaves, and now he gets the baby I wanted? What do I get?” she demanded, pulling up her top, revealing her incisions. “Scars. Nothing but scars.”
He sank slowly to the toilet and must have made some kind of sound because Lia turned, and pressed both hands to her mouth. The fury that drove her a second before was gone.
“I’m sorry, Gabriel. Like I said, I’m not good company.” She reached for the door.
“Wait,” he said, his voice rough. She turned back, faced him. “Am I a fling? Is this—are we—am I just sex to you?”
Her eyes narrowed and a distinct flush began to crawl up her neck.
“What, exactly, are you asking me?”
“It’s a yes or no question, Lia.” His tone curt. “Either I’m…handy or I mean something to you.”
She only stared at him, that flush now tinting her cheeks.
Ice ran through his system. He’d sworn he’d never do this again, never risk this kind of hurt again but somehow, she’d sneaked past all his defenses. He’d let himself believe, let himself hope. He should have just kept his head down. He had his children. Why couldn’t that have been enough? And the real irony was that he’d been so sure. Well. He supposed that was his answer. He stood up, moved for the bathroom door.
She shot out a hand to stop him. “I…God, Gabriel. I literally just realized I was all the way in love with you about eight hours ago. I snooped through your photo albums and I saw your wedding and the look on your face and I wanted that. I want that so badly.”
The hope all but exploded out of him. He stepped closer, cupped her cheek in his hand. “Good. Okay,” he said, relieved. “Here’s the thing. If Jared wasn’t such as monumental ass, we’d never have met. So I’m glad he’s an ass, Lia. I’m glad he cheated and glad you divorced because that mistake led you right here. To me.”
She opened her mouth but he shook his head.
“But I’m not glad about your surgery. I know how much you want kids. But, Lia, I have four of them. They’re yours. We’re yours. If you’ll have us.”
Her face went completely, almost comically, still.
“Lia? Breathe.”
She gasped. “What?”
Shit. He was fumbling this. Christ, they were in a bathroom! What the hell was wrong with him? “Lia. Say something, please?”
A breath exploded out of her and then she gasped another one in. “Are you—did you—you want—Did you just propose?”
“Yeah,” he admitted, kind of sheepishly. “I bought you a ring. It’s in the other room. I’m sorry. I had it all planned. Nice dinner, just us. I was gonna buy you a book and put the ring inside it but—” He trailed off when he realized she wasn’t happy. “I want you. There’s no reason for us to wait. Life is so short—I’m already thirty-seven—and we’re just wasting the time we’ve got.”
Her eyes narrowed and she tugged her hands back. “That’s not enough for marriage, Gabriel.”
“You don’t think so? Lia, a few months ago, the only reason I got up in the morning was to take care of my girls. Since I met you, I’m thinking about a future again. A future where I can do the kind of work I love, open my own place, and know with absolute certainty that my girls are loved when they’re with you.”
“So I’m the babysitter.” She tightened her lips.
“No!” Was she deliberately being difficult? Impatience snapped at him but he forced himself to respond calmly. “I’m saying I see you as my partner in this future, as my wife.” His breath exploded on that last word in a happy laugh because it all made sense, such perfect fucking sense. He had to make her see that. “I’m not the most patient—”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
He bit back a curse. “Lia.” He ran his hands up her arms, tunneled them through her hair. “I love you, I’m completely in love with you, and I’m pretty sure I’ve grown on you by now—”
“Jesus, Gabriel. You’re not mildew.” She moved aside but he blocked her.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’m doing this all wrong but it makes perfect sense. I love you. I want us to be a team. Always. You don’t have to say yes right now, but please, just tell me you’ll think about it?”
She didn’t answer him. Instead, she took a very definite step back. Frowning, he tried to figure out how he could salvage this. He wanted to marry her, for God’s sake. Did she not get how monumental this was for him? How impossible it was to even think about such a thing even a few months earlier? He’d thought she was practical, with her life hacks and tips for working smarter. He’d thought she’d appreciate him laying it all out in a logical way. But he’d missed a step or two.
He needed to show her his whole heart.
“Lia, I’ve been…” he searched for the right word “…waiting. No. Wasting, I think. Just killing time. I didn’t care about anything except taking care of my girls and the truth is, I wasn’t doing a good job of that. I know I’m not as patient as I should be, especially with Maddie and Emmy. But ever since you came into my life, I’m…Christ, Lia. I think I’m…well, it’s like I woke up. I want to make plans. I want us to get married. I want to start that business. I want to find a house, a real home where there’s room for dollhouses and…and that fluffy dog Maddie wants…and your office with that big-ass desk. Lia. None of this happens without you. I don’t want it without you.”
“I…I don’t understand. I’m not her, Gabriel. You told me I’m not at all like Janey, so how is it possible that you love me? And even if you are, we never talked about us being long-term, being permanent.”
Her use of the word if burned like acid but he let it go. “Isn’t that what being in love means?” he snapped.
She held up a palm. “You’re still mourning your wife and then…what? You wake up this morning and decide to propose? You’ve gone from zero to sixty in seconds and I’m—I’m dizzy. I…I need to think. I need time.”
Think? Time? They loved each other. She loved him. People in love got married, made a family. There was nothing simpler to his mind. But there was one huge blaring mistake he had to rectify. She still believed she was nothing but a stopgap measure. “Amelia,” he whispered, pulling her back. “I’m in love with you. I think I have been since the first day. You didn’t just jump-start my car. You re-started me. I was half-dead inside. You brought me back to life.”
The smile that split her face warmed him down to his bones.
“I was afraid, Lia. So afraid to lose the few pieces of my heart I have left but I’m done with that. I’m not scared anymore. I want us to be together. You, me, the girls. I’d want you to adopt them, if you want, so you could really be their mother.”
“You want me to be their mother?” she echoed.
“Yes, if that’s what you want. But more than anything, I want you to be my wife. Lia, please. Please say yes.”
She sank back down to the toilet. “Gabriel, I…I’m overwhelmed. This is all so…so confusing. I need to think—”
“Lia, do you love me?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation.
“The girls?”
“God, yes.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Seems pretty clear.”
“Daddy!”
 
; His expression immediately changed to one of concern as he pulled open the door. “Take the time you need. I’ll be right here.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Lia sat at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee and her client to-do lists. She hadn’t seen Gabriel in a few days now.
He was giving her time.
She laughed once, shook her head, and put a hand to her heart. Patience was so not a virtue of his, but he was giving her time. And he had so many others. Tender, loyal, smart, and insanely hardworking, he didn’t rest until he made somebody’s dream come true. Kimberly’s thirteenth birthday was such a success, he was planning to make the Daddy Birthday Night a tradition with each of the girls, albeit not quite as fancy as that one. Baby Emmy’s third birthday was in March and both Olivia’s and Madison’s birthdays were in the summer.
Maddie wanted a night at the theater. Gabe had revealed he’d prefer to visit the dentist than the theater, but she knew he’d go.
It was what he did.
He provided. He said yes to whatever was in his power to give his daughters. Yet, they weren’t spoiled to her mind. She’d noted that Kimberly still hadn’t received the cell phone she’d been asking for since Christmas.
Her smile faded when she wondered when he got to do the things he enjoyed. She knew he liked to fish but he hadn’t been out east since she’d met him. Then again, it was winter.
With a start, she wondered when was his birthday? His daughter said it was in April, like hers, but when, exactly? God, there was so much about him she didn’t know. He rarely spoke about his own family. She knew through Mike that they’d grown up near the Putnam Valley house Gabriel’s in-laws owned. She knew he adored his work and missed it. He was still working in the city once or twice a week and when he came home, he couldn’t seem to stop talking about his day. And she knew he felt guilty about leaving the tenants as well as the girls. That was why he often made his rounds well into the evening after he got off the train.
Her phone buzzed and she lunged for it, pressing the button for video.
Roseann appeared, still in bed by the looks of her. “What in the actual hell?” she demanded. “I just opened my eyes, read your text, and thought I was dreaming. Does Viv know?”