I look up at him and feel a rush of love and possessiveness. The other skaters bustle around us but I can see only him. ‘You will love me for always, won’t you?’
He smiles down at me. ‘To the moon and back.’
How lucky I am to love and to be loved in return.
‘I don’t want to go home,’ I tell him. ‘I want to stay here in Bruges for ever and not think about what might happen to Chocolate Heaven.’
‘It will be fine,’ he assures me. ‘Don’t spoil Christmas by worrying yourself sick about it. What will be will be.’
I wish that I could be so philosophical, but I am struggling. This is the one thing – the only thing – that I’m good at.
If only I could keep Marcus out of my life and keep Chocolate Heaven in it, then everything would be perfect in my world.
Chapter Fifty-Two
It was only being at this side of the counter that made Nadia appreciate just how hard Lucy had to work and she was grateful that she’d arranged to go to Jacob’s house for dinner this evening. She was so tired and foot-sore that she’d never have had the wherewithal to cook for her and Lewis after this.
It had been non-stop all day and Nadia didn’t even like to think how many shopping days were left before the twenty-fifth of December. But, there was no denying it, the Christmas rush had begun in earnest.
Thankfully, Autumn had been working alongside her this afternoon. The festive treats that Lucy had brought in were flying off the shelves again today. Nadia had lost track of just how many chocolate Santas and reindeers she’d wrapped. It had made her feel quite in the Christmas mood and it seemed as if their customers felt much the same. Lucy, who could get herself into trouble alone in a locked room, clearly had a flair for this business.
Finally, Autumn turned the sign on the door to closed as the last of the customers left. She breathed a sigh of relief and leaned against the glass. ‘We survived.’
‘It’s been like a mad scrum,’ Nadia agreed. ‘It’s a good job it’s not like this every Saturday. I don’t know how Lucy does it. The rag trade certainly isn’t this busy. It’s positively genteel at Tarak’s shop in comparison.’
‘All going well there?’
‘It would be if my brother-in-law would back off.’ She told Autumn about him turning up at her house unexpectedly.
‘Not good.’ Autumn moved to tidy and restock the retail shelves before they went home, so that they were ready for another onslaught tomorrow. The reindeers were looking very ravaged.
‘I don’t know what to do about it,’ Nadia admitted. ‘I don’t want to rock the boat with Anita, especially as we’ve only recently got our relationship back on track.’
‘Maybe he’ll get bored when he sees that you’re really not interested, and leave you alone.’
‘I hope so,’ Nadia said. ‘Men like Tarak don’t seem to be easily dissuaded. I think I might just drop Jacob’s name into the conversation more often.’
‘How’s it going there?’
‘Fine.’ But there was a niggling worry in her mind that it wasn’t fine. If only she could get the vision of Jacob and Chantal together out of her head then that would help. ‘I’m going to his place for dinner tonight. I’m so grateful, as I couldn’t have faced cooking.’
‘He’s very kind.’
‘He is,’ Nadia agreed. The nicest of men. So why couldn’t she quite take a step forward into a relationship with him? If she couldn’t make a go of it with Jacob, would she ever find anyone she could trust? Toby, with his gambling and lying, had really dented her faith in men. She glanced at her watch. ‘Right, we’d better go now. Lewis, gather your toys together. We’re heading to Jacob’s house and we don’t want to be late.’
That would make sure he didn’t dawdle – her son adored Jacob. Another thing to consider.
‘Have a lovely time,’ Autumn said over her shoulder.
‘Are you doing anything tonight?’
‘Addison texted and asked if he could take me to dinner.’ Autumn shrugged. ‘I thought it was over between us. He said as much and he hasn’t contacted me at all before now. I haven’t even seen him at work. Yet now he’s booked a table at that new chocolate restaurant that’s opened in town. What should I make of that?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Nadia admitted.
‘Well, I’m taking it as an olive branch. I hope I’m right.’
‘It’s supposed to be a great restaurant. I’d love to try there.’
‘That’s partly why I’ve agreed,’ Autumn laughed.
‘It seems as if Addison’s making an effort. I hope it works out with you guys. You make a great couple.’
Autumn pulled a face. ‘You wouldn’t take someone to a really nice restaurant unless you wanted to get back together, would you?’
Nadia laughed. ‘I don’t think so. No man would spend money on a good meal pointlessly.’
Her friend joined in and they giggled together. ‘You’re probably right.’
Lewis came over, toys all packed away in his backpack as requested.
‘Good boy. You’ve played really nicely. For that, you can pick a treat from the counter.’
Lewis homed in on a chocolate snowman. ‘That, please.’
‘I’ll put it in a bag and you can have it after dinner. Jacob’s making us lasagne and we don’t want to spoil your appetite.’ Nadia wrapped it and that went into Lewis’s backpack too. ‘I’d better take some chocolates for Jacob as well, or I won’t hear the last of it.’
She selected a box of six of his favourites and sat the package carefully in the top of her handbag.
‘You go,’ Autumn said. ‘I’ll tidy up the last bits here. There’s not much to do.’
‘You’d better order some more cakes from Alexandra. Lucy’s got a big Chocolate Ecstasy Tour coming in next week and we don’t want to run out of treats for them.’
‘I’ll give her a call.’
Nadia slipped on Lewis’s coat and then her own. She kissed her friend. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be here in time to open up and you can take over for the afternoon shift. Though I don’t mind staying on if we’re busy again.’
‘Let’s see how it goes.’
‘Have a good time tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,’ she teased.
‘I wish it was Chantal saying that,’ Autumn countered. ‘That would give me a lot more leeway!’
It was snowing again and Nadia and Lewis huddled together as they headed from the Tube towards Jacob’s house, sleet stinging their faces. Then they stood on the doorstep, playing a game of stamping their feet, until Jacob opened the door.
A warm, mellow glow greeted them and the scent of herbs coming from the kitchen was tantalising. It was very nice being able to pick at chocolate at will all day long, but now she did need something more substantial to eat.
‘Hey.’ Jacob was wearing an apron and brandishing a wooden spoon. His cheeks were pink from the heat and he looked sweeter than she’d ever seen him. ‘Come on in. Take your coats off. It looks bitterly cold out there.’
‘It is,’ Nadia said as they hurried into the hallway. She stripped Lewis out of his coat, scarf and hat, shaking the flakes of snow from them.
‘Put them here on this hook, right near the radiator.’ Jacob nodded towards it. ‘Then they’ll be nice and warm for when you go home.’
She took off her own coat and arranged their outer clothes on Jacob’s coat rack so that they’d dry out. Smoothing a hand through her long, dark hair, she tried to tame the ravages of the weather. While she did, Jacob held out his arms and Lewis ran into them.
‘Mind my spoon,’ Jacob warned with a laugh. ‘I don’t want your mum telling me off for putting tomato sauce in your hair.’
‘I’ve got a chocolate snowman.’ Lewis pulled it out of his backpack and proudly showed it off.
‘Wow.’ Jacob looked suitably impressed. ‘You must have been a very good boy.’
‘I have,’ he said proudly. ‘All day while Mummy wo
rked.’
‘He’s been great,’ Nadia confirmed. ‘No trouble at all.’
‘I could share it if you like,’ Lewis offered.
‘I’d very much like that.’ Jacob ruffled her son’s hair. ‘But I’m warning you, I can eat a lot of chocolate.’
‘After dinner,’ Nadia reminded them both.
They followed Jacob through to the kitchen. She didn’t come here very often, mainly due to the complexities of babysitting, as she tried very hard not to put upon Autumn too much. Jacob’s home was a smart terraced house and, although very much a bachelor pad it still managed to be homely.
‘No Christmas decorations?’
‘I’m a last-minute merchant,’ he admitted. ‘My tree usually goes up on Christmas Eve and it’s down again by the second of January.’
‘Don’t tell Lucy that. We’ve had to stop her from decorating Chocolate Heaven in August.’
‘I can imagine. I think she loves Christmas nearly as much as she loves chocolate.’
‘It’s a close-run thing,’ Nadia agreed.
‘How’s she getting on in Bruges?’
‘None of us have heard from her, so I think that’s a good thing.’
‘Let’s hope she leaves Bruges in one piece.’
‘It’s never a given with our Lucy.’
Lewis tugged at her arm. ‘Can I watch television, please?’
‘It’s already on in the living room,’ Jacob said. ‘You know where the remote is, champ.’
Lewis wandered off, leaving them alone.
‘Right.’ Jacob clapped his hands. ‘The lasagne’s in the oven.’ He crouched down to look at it. ‘It’ll be about twenty minutes or so. There’s also a glass of passable red already poured for madam.’
‘Much needed.’
He handed Nadia the glass and she sipped the wine gratefully. ‘I bought you a little gift.’ She dipped into her handbag and then gave him the chocolates.
Jacob grinned at her. ‘I must have been a good boy, too.’
She was filled with a sudden rush of affection for him. He was so kind and caring. ‘You’re always wonderful.’
Before she knew what she was doing, she’d stepped forward and kissed him softly, warmly on the lips. Instinctively, her hand reached up to his hair and her fingers twined in it, surprising both her and Jacob.
‘Sorry,’ she said, flustered when their mouths parted. ‘I don’t know why I did that.’
‘I hadn’t expected it,’ he admitted.
‘I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.’ Her heart was pounding wildly, but there was no way that she was ready for this. The shaking of her legs was, she was sure, more down to terror than elation. Wasn’t it? The last thing she should do was rush into anything. Particularly with Jacob. She needed to be sure that there was nothing going on between him and Chantal. There needed to be clear water between them and she had to be in no doubt that there was. It all seemed still quite murky. There were a couple of pertinent questions that needed asking and she wasn’t ready to do that. There was no way she could risk starting a relationship until she was absolutely certain.
‘It’s OK. Really. We’re friends. Don’t think about it.’ Jacob stroked her arms. Kindly rather than erotically, but it still sent a shiver through her. ‘It never happened.’ He stepped away from her. ‘I’d better check on the food.’
What was the expression on Jacob’s face? She couldn’t read it. After the initial surprise was he pleased or simply puzzled? If he’d wanted to start something with her, then would he have responded differently? Or did she really just take him so much by surprise that it had been awkward? Damn, she was so out of practice and it wasn’t like her to do this kind of thing. She could have kicked herself for being so impulsive. Now where did she stand?
Chapter Fifty-Three
Addison was waiting at the table when Autumn arrived. He kissed her warmly, if a little formally, and held out a red rose.
‘Thank you.’ Self-consciously, Autumn took the rose and sat down opposite him. ‘This looks lovely.’
‘I wanted to apologise for my behaviour the other night. It was out of order.’
‘It was a silly mistake on my part.’ She lowered her voice. ‘You know how I feel about drugs, Addison. It was a moment of madness. A one-off. I did try to explain.’
‘I know.’ Addison hushed her. ‘It doesn’t matter. I’ve said I’m sorry and I hope you accept that I messed up. Shall we try to put it behind us and have a nice evening together? It’s a long time since we’ve done this.’
He’d certainly pushed out the boat, there was no doubt about that. This place was beautiful. It had only recently opened and was modelled on an old plantation house; it was all stripped wood and, owing to the chocolate theme, sumptuous cocoa-coloured furnishings. The menu, when it came, was impressive too. Expensive. And Addison didn’t really do expensive.
‘Order whatever you like,’ he said, expansively. ‘Shall we have a glass of champagne?’
‘Wine’s fine. Honestly.’
‘Nothing’s too good for you, Autumn.’ His hand covered hers. ‘I mean that.’
This was a sharp turnaround, Autumn thought, and she wondered what had happened to make Addison change his mind. Was it simply the thought of life without her that had made him backtrack like this?
They ordered from a selection of dishes that all featured chocolate in some shape or form. She chose bitter chocolate pasta filled with ricotta cheese, spinach, and portobello mushrooms, while Addison opted for a rack of lamb rubbed with cocoa, basted with chocolate balsamic vinegar and served with horseradish mash.
They chatted about nothing in particular while they waited for their meals. She told him that Lucy was in Bruges and that she and Nadia were looking after Chocolate Heaven in her absence. She thought that Addison’s attentiveness seemed a little forced. It was probably better to get him onto a subject he was more keen on.
‘How was your Think Tank day in Manchester?’
‘Good, good,’ he said, animated now. ‘We came away with some great ideas. The trouble is, all of these things come down to funding and, as you know, we’re looking at cuts rather than an extra input.’
‘You said that my classes might be for the chop.’ That would be a hard one to forgive and forget.
He waved a hand dismissively. ‘We can talk about that.’
Their food arrived and it tasted as good as it looked.
‘We could think about changing to a charitable status,’ he said. ‘That’s one option. Monica is very keen.’
‘Oh,’ Autumn said, trying to keep her voice non-committal. Monica, she mimicked in her head. There was something about Monica Desmond she didn’t like. The woman was a bully, a player. The atmosphere at the Stolford Centre had been completely different from the minute she’d joined.
‘We could look to companies for donations, private individuals,’ Addison continued.
‘Sounds like you’ve done a lot of thinking about it.’
‘Monica suggested that you might be the perfect person to help spearhead the fundraising. After all, you’re very well connected.’
‘Not me,’ she protested. ‘Beyond the girls of the Chocolate Lovers’ Club, my circle of friends is mainly made up of impoverished artists and musicians. It’s my parents who mix in the higher echelons.’
‘Perhaps they’d like to become involved? It would be the ideal cause for them – what with Rich and everything.’
‘I’m not sure they’d see it that way. They rather like to hide their heads in the sand when it comes to Rich.’
‘You could get them to change their minds. You’re very persuasive when you need to be. They could do it in memory of him.’
‘I’m not sure.’ Autumn fiddled with her hair, uncomfortable. She felt as if she was being chugged. ‘My parents are of the school that believes charity begins at home. They like to pretend that unfortunates don’t exist. Now that their son has gone, they can completely ignore it.’
It seemed that now Rich was out of sight, he was very much out of mind.
‘It would really help us out,’ Addison pressed on. ‘If they could only donate a bit of money. A hundred grand would secure our future for the year.’
‘A hundred grand?’ Autumn spluttered out a laugh. ‘That’s hardly a “bit” of money.’
Addison frowned. ‘I thought they were rolling in it.’
‘They are.’ She sighed. ‘But they also rather like to keep it for themselves.’
‘It’s only a thought,’ he said more brusquely. ‘Promise me that you’ll think about approaching them. For me.’
‘Of course I will. But I wouldn’t get your hopes up, Addison. My parents would rather invest in property or fine wines than disadvantaged children.’
He snapped open the menu. ‘Are you ready to order dessert now?’
‘Yes.’ Once again the food was sublime. The Chocolate Evolution she tried featured chocolate-coated cocoa beans, a shot glass of liquid chocolate and a selection of truffle mousses.
Addison tucked into a white chocolate mascarpone cheesecake topped with mango jelly and drizzled with a rich chocolate sauce. It looked divine and she was happy to taste the proffered spoonful.
After coffee and another glass of wine, Addison insisted on paying the not inconsiderable bill. He did so without flinching. Mostly. Outside, in the frosty night, he hailed a cab and climbed in with her.
As they headed through the brightly lit city streets towards her apartment, he took her in his arms. ‘Can I stay tonight?’
If she was honest, Autumn wasn’t sure that she wanted him to, but heard herself saying, ‘Yes. Of course.’
For the first time in weeks, he kissed her deeply and her head started to spin. There were times when they could be very good together.
In her apartment, they didn’t even turn on the lights, but went straight to the bedroom. They made love, swiftly, silently and her primary emotion was for some reason bordering on regret rather than enthusiasm. Somehow it felt perfunctory, as if they were going through the motions. The connection they’d once had simply didn’t seem to be there.