“Tals,” Erik began, grabbing my hand and leading me to a bench.
The gesture unnerved me further. If Erik wanted me to sit, he was obviously anticipating a poor reaction to whatever he had to tell me. For once, I didn’t peek into his head.
“My family is in danger. I need to go to them. I need to get them somewhere safe.”
“I know,” I replied, oddly relieved that this was what he wanted to talk about. “Henri and Cadence are going to go with me,” he continued evenly, bracing himself for my reaction.
“What?” I snapped. “What are you saying? Are you saying you don’t want me to help?”
“I want you safe. I need you to be safe,” Erik pleaded. “I wasn’t joking when I told the Director you were like my family. I can’t put you at risk by asking you to go with us.”
“You aren’t asking, I’m offering. Erik, please, I want to help,” I begged. Didn’t he realize that I wasn’t going to sit twiddling my thumbs while he put his life in danger?
“What about Alex?” Erik asked. “He’s scared and he is already attached to you. He just lost his mother. Toxic knows he’s missing now, that we’re all missing, and they are looking for his father. It’s only a matter of time before they figure out it’s Donavon. And once they do, they’ll come after him with a vengeance. Henri says the whole Agency is on high alert over our disappearances.”
“Cadence can stay with him,” I said weakly. But I knew that wasn’t a viable option. Alex barely let her touch him. There was no way he would stay with her and even if he did, I couldn’t be sure she would protect him.
“You know that isn’t a good idea,” Erik said gently. “Tal, I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. That is why I need you to stay here where it’s safe.”
“I’m a good Hunter. Nothing will happen to me as long as I’m with you and Henri,” I urged.
“You are a good. You’re one of the best, which is why you need to stay and protect Alex and yourself,” Erik said, cupping my cheek in his hand.
“What about you? What if something happens to you?” I couldn’t handle losing you, Erik.
“Nothing will happen to me. I have a plan and it’s a good one since I devised it myself,” he bragged, trying to lighten the mood.
“Is that why you brought Cadence? To help you?” I asked, slightly annoyed that he preferred her to me. I was being childish, but I didn’t care.
“Sort of,” Erik admitted. “She wanted to help and she is a Light Manipulator, which will come in handy.”
“And you trust her? Why does she want to help? What does she have to gain?” I asked incredulously.
“I told her who Alex is and she saw for herself what Donavon went through to keep him away from Toxic. Like you and me, she knows that the Director’s son wouldn’t have taken such a risk if there weren’t a good reason. And she’s started to think her brother, Randy, had the right idea when he helped that Coalition woman escape,” Erik tried to explain.
“And I’m the one who is too trusting?” I demanded with a short laugh. “Erik, you barely know her.”
“Cadence is the one who turned her brother in, Tal. She’s beating herself up over it. At the time, she thought it was the right thing to do. After visiting him at Tramblewood, she knows she messed up. She can’t help Randy. She can help me help my family,” Erik replied.
“She isn’t even that strong of a Talent,” I grumbled, again being unnecessarily petty.
“Well, we took care of that,” Erik responded sheepishly.
“Took care of it? How?” I asked, confused.
“I borrowed some of the amplification drug they’ve been giving the children during testing. According to Anya, the drug will magnify Cadence’s powers ten-fold for a couple of hours. She and I can become invisible and possibly extend the ability to Henri. I’ve known Elite Level Light Manipulators who can do that,” he explained.
“Really?” I was fascinated. If that were true, the possibilities were incredible.
“I hope so. I’m banking on it being true,” Erik admitted.
“When will you leave?” I asked, finally admitting defeat.
“Tonight,” he answered tentatively.
“That soon,” I mused. The thought that I might only have a couple of hours with Erik was causing my chest to tighten and tears to burn the backs of my eyes.
“It’s only a couple of days, Tal. I will come back to you,” he promised.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I warned, choking on the tears now pouring down my cheeks.
“I never do,” he swore, wiping my face with his thumbs, his turquoise eyes now watery, too.
Erik assured me Adam would take care of whatever I needed while he was gone. I had enough semi-fresh food in my bag for me and Alex to last several days before we would be resigned to eating the canned beans and dehydrated meats common among the citizens of the Underground. He gave me a bootleg communicator that operated on a different frequency than the Agency’s. Erik said if I needed anything from aboveground, to send a detailed message to the first stored number and someone on the outside would deliver it. I had enough medication to last me another two weeks and Erik made me promise I would continue to take it.
As the day wore on, I became more and more reluctant to let Erik out of my sight. I was being selfish. He probably had things to go over with Henri and Cadence, but he indulged my neediness anyway. I wanted to be strong for him and assure him the rescue mission would go off without a hitch, but I had an awful feeling he was walking into a trap.
The Agency knew he would come for his family. They’d been lording his father and brothers’ safety over his head to keep him in line for years. Secretly, he, too, knew Toxic Operatives would be waiting for him. Neither of us mentioned it.
After dinner, we put Alex to bed in Cadence’s alcove. The boy clung to Erik when he hugged him goodnight and it was obvious he feared it might be the last time he saw him. Cadence and Henri had turned the table into a make-shift command center and were pouring over maps and crudely drawn diagrams. Neither one protested when Erik said he was going to lay down with me for the hour before they left.
In the makeshift bedroom, Erik stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed. His mind was no longer guarded. All his secrets were finally out in the open, so I knew he had no intention of having sex with me. He just wanted to feel my skin next to his. I removed everything but my underwear and snuggled up next to him. We didn’t talk much; there was nothing left to say.
Erik traced the contours of my face, memorizing every detail. He ran his fingers over the scars on my back and hip and kissed along my collarbone. He nuzzled his face against my chest before resting his cheek against my stomach. I held him, savoring the feel of his touch and the way his warm body felt on mine. His mind was open and the intimate mental connection we’d shared in my hotel room returned. I shared every thought and emotion he possessed. His soul was laid bare and his vulnerability was so touching, it made me want to cry.
For one blissful hour, nothing else in the world mattered except Erik. Tangled in his arms, I forgot about Toxic and Mac and how quickly my life had been turned upside down. Even Alex and our uncertain futures seemed inconsequential. I would have done anything to prolong the time we had left.
“I have to go, Tal,” Erik sighed, raising his head from its resting place.
“I know.” I tried to smile, but I was numb. Erik kissed me softly and I tasted his salty tears.
I watched as Erik climbed out of the bed and dressed. He kept sniffling and wiping his face with his palms. I chewed my lower lip and curled my knees to my chest, hugging my legs as my body trembled.
“I love you, Natalia,” he said simply once he was dressed and I was still curled practically naked on top of the thin comforter.
“I love you,” I replied, hoping with those three words I could convey the millions of others I wanted to say to him. The look on his face said they did. I pulled myself together and got
dressed.
Henri and Cadence were anxiously standing at the table when I exited the alcove. I hugged Henri and told him to be careful.
“You would have been a great Hunter,” I told Cadence when I wrapped my arms around her. And I meant it, too.
“Thanks, Talia.” She smiled. “We’ll be back before you know it.”
I watched them walk out of the room. Erik’s eyes were still puffy and he kept rubbing his nose. Once they were gone, I crawled into bed with Alex, gathering the sleeping child against my chest, and cried myself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Tals? Tals? Wake?” Alex whispered, his face so close his breath tickled my nose.
“Whatdaya need?” I mumbled, reaching absently towards the sound of his voice.
“I haveta go potty,” he whispered back.
I groaned. Welcome to responsibility, Talia.
“Okay, sweetie. I’m up,” I declared, blinking my eyes open.
Alex’s small face startled me. Cloudy blues eyes stared blankly down at me from a pale face. His blonde hair was mussed from sleep. Cherubic lips parted in a small smile as I spoke.
“I’m up,” I repeated, more to convince myself than Alex.
Donavon’s son patted my arm, feeling his way to my hand. When his warm fingers closed around my thumb, he tugged insistently. I quickly clambered to my feet, guided Alex through the curtain, and stumbled to the bathroom in the back of the room. I rested my head on the closed door until I heard the water running, signaling Alex was washing his hands.
“Are you hungry?” I asked when he emerged.
Alex vigorously bobbed his head up and down.
“Let’s see what we can find,” I told him. Then I seated him at the table and scrounged an apple, peanut butter, and some wheat bread from the bag Erik had left and spread out our breakfast.
The few other people sharing our room were still asleep. I envied them. I had no idea what time it was, but I assumed early about summed it up. Alex ate happily while I nibbled on apple bits. Towards the end of our meal, people started filtering out of their cubbies. The other inhabitants greeted us sleepily before heading to the make-shift cafeteria where, as Leisel had informed me the day before, the citizens of the Underground normally ate.
With breakfast out of the way, I decided personal hygiene was the way to go. I gathered changes of clothes for both me and Alex and our meager toiletries, before carrying him down the hallway to the showers. The showers were located in locker rooms that, as far as I could tell, used to be part of a gym. The workout equipment was no longer in working order, having been cleared out to make a giant play area for the children. The locker rooms still had running water, but the heaters no longer worked, so only cold water poured from the faucets.
I worked scrubbing Alex clean as he trembled under the frigid spray. Then I dressed him in clean clothes and sat him on a bench while I hastily cleaned two days’ worth of filth off my own body.
I’d never been responsible for another person; I was barely responsible for myself. When I was little, my parents fed me, clothed me, and made sure I had the basic necessities and then some. After they had died, Mac and Gretchen took over my care. Every minute of my day had been planned for me since I’d started at the McDonough School. I was told when to eat, when to attend classes, when to bathe, what to wear. I’d never even realized how little choice I had in my own life.
Now I wasn’t just responsible for me, but also for another person. When I’d asked Alex how old he was, he’d proudly held up four stubby fingers. I had no experience with children and I knew nothing about being blind. Now that we were alone, I worried I’d been hasty in my decision to run with the boy. Was I honestly strong enough to do this? Could I really provide for him? Keep him safe?
If something happened to Alex, it would be my fault. I kept reminding myself the situation was temporary. Erik, Henri, and Cadence would return. The five of us would plan our next move together. Doubt lingered in the back of my mind, though. What if they were caught? What would happen to them? What would become of me and Alex?
I told myself to remain positive. There wasn’t an option. Pessimism would get me nowhere. Dwelling on what could happen was unproductive. One day at a time became my new mantra.
After we’d eaten and washed, I was at a loss as to what to do. Many of the younger children were already playing in the old gymnasium. The caretakers assured me Alex would be well looked after if I wanted to leave him with them. I was hesitant to let him out of my sight. He’d been through so much in such a short time. Separating him from the only person he knew seemed irresponsible. Adam’s daughter, Leisel, was one of the caretakers and she gently suggested it might be good for Alex to interact with kids his own age. My own childhood had lacked that same companionship. Remembering how lonely I’d been constantly surrounded by adults, I reluctantly agreed.
Alex looked uncertain about being too far from me, so I took a seat in the corner of the room and watched him tentatively play with his new classmates. Despite his handicap, Alex zealously drew pictures and built structures out of blocks. He seemed to get along well with the other kids. With a twinge of sadness, I was reminded of Donavon’s easygoing nature. Donavon had always been quick to make friends and it seemed his son had inherited the trait.
“How ya doing?” Adam drawled, taking a seat next to me on the mat.
“Okay.” I smiled. “Alex is doing great, especially considering...everything.”
“A lot of the children come here under similar circumstances. In time, it will get easier,” Adam promised. “For both of you.”
I prayed he was right. I had no intention of trying to replace Kandice as the boy’s mother. But I hoped that, eventually, his life would return to something resembling normal. After my parents’ murders, I’d been consumed by the desire for revenge. The promise that those responsible would pay became my reason for waking. It drove me, sustained me, to the point of obsession. I wouldn’t let that happen to Alex. The hatred would not gnaw at his gut, turn him into someone he was not.
“This is quite the operation you have going on down here,” I commented, changing the subject.
“We try. Most only stay a couple of weeks until we can get them out to an above-ground community. We do have some lifers. They’re really what keeps this place running,” he replied fondly.
“Well, as long as I’m here, I’m happy to help with whatever you need,” I offered honestly. I liked the idea of people depending on me for once instead of the other way around.
“Got any special skills?” Adam asked, trying to hide a smile.
I think he already knew my “special skills” were limited. “Unless you have the need for somebody who can manipulate minds, well, I’m kind of useless,” I replied sheepishly.
“I wouldn’t say you’re ‘useless’,” he laughed. “You seem to be doing pretty well with the boy.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“I think I have something you can help me with,” Adam said, getting to his feet and gesturing for me to follow.
I glanced over to where Leisel was helping Alex glue dried noodles to a piece of paper. He seemed okay, but I didn’t want to leave without telling him.
Sensing my hesitancy, Adam smiled and said, “I’ll wait.”
I walked over to Alex and bent down beside him. I placed my hand gently on his back so I wouldn’t frighten him when I spoke. My concern was misplaced. He sensed my presence as soon as I was close.
“Tals, picture,” he declared, triumphantly holding the noodle portrait in my direction.
I had no idea what it was supposed to be, but the gesture touched me and a knot formed in my throat. “It’s great, Alex,” I managed to get out. “I’m going to go help out Adam for a little while, but I’ll be back soon. Will you be okay?”
“Yup,” he replied, happily returning to his picture.
“I’ll stay with him,” Leisel promised.
I thanked her before rejoining Adam. I
followed him out of the gymnasium-turned-school-room and through the mall. He led me back down into the Metro Station and to the door we’d entered this bizarre new world through. We trekked down the narrow corridor and descended the tube. Thankfully, the shaft felt less claustrophobic without the added bulk of the huge pack I’d carried in.
“We have a lot of contacts on the outside that help us get food to feed all these people,” Adam explained. “They drop packages down the grates on street level and I go pick them up. Unfortunately, it’s mostly canned vegetables and meats. If we’re lucky, we get some dried fruits and cheeses, but either way, we make do.”
Adam expertly navigated the twists and turns of the tunnels until we came to the first drop site. Bags of canned corn and beets were waiting for us. After several more stops, our hull included canned green beans, potatoes, peaches, something called spam, and several bags of dried cranberries, bananas, and almonds. I quickly realized why Adam thought I might be of use to him in this onerous task; he needed a pack mule. I didn’t mind. I was happy to have a purpose.
After we’d visited all the collection spots, we returned to the Underground with our newly acquired wealth. We deposited the food with the kitchen staff. They were already hard at work preparing dinner over open fires made in trashcans. I marveled at the effort it required to provide meals for all the residents. A worker inventoried the donations and stashed them in a large closet lined with shelves brimming with similar fare.
“How often do you check for supplies?” I asked Adam as we made our way back to the school room.
“Once a day,” he said. “I usually go myself since most people here are either too scared to venture out or they don’t know the tunnels well enough to find their way back.”
“I imagine it’s easy to get lost down here,” I agreed.
“That’s what keeps us safe,” he said softly.
Our trip had taken so long, the school day was nearly over when I returned to Alex. The children were helping the teachers pack up the arts and crafts supplies when I entered the room. I decided in favor of joining the rest of the community for dinner in the food court. Alex and I sat with Adam, Leisel, and his two other children, Jules and Iris. Jules and Iris were ten and twelve, respectively. They dominated the conversation with what they had learned in school that day.