“I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever wake up,” he said, grinning. The years had been good to Lonny. He’d always been handsome—as dozens of young women had noticed while he was on the rodeo circuit. He’d quit eight years ago, when his father got sick, and had dedicated himself to the Bar E ever since. Still, Letty couldn’t understand why he’d stayed single all this time. Then again, she could. Lonny, like Chase Brown, their neighbor, lived for his land and his precious herd of cattle. That was what their whole lives revolved around. Lonny wasn’t married because he hadn’t met a woman he considered an asset to the Bar E.
“How come you aren’t out rounding up cattle or repairing fences or whatever it is you do in the mornings?” she teased, smiling at him.
“I wanted to welcome you home properly.”
After pouring herself a cup of coffee, Letty walked to the table, leaned over and kissed his sun-bronzed cheek. “It’s great to be back.”
Letty meant that. Her pride had kept her away all these years. How silly that seemed now, how pointless and stubborn not to admit her name wasn’t going to light up any marquee, when she’d lived and breathed that knowledge each and every day in California. Letty had talent; she’d known that when she left the Bar E nine years ago. It was the blind ambition and ruthless drive she’d lacked. Oh, there’d been brief periods of promise and limited success. She’d sung radio commercials and done some backup work for a couple of rising stars, but she’d long ago given up the hope of ever making it big herself. At one time, becoming a singer had meant the world to her. Now it meant practically nothing.
Lonny reached for her fingers. “It’s good to have you home, sis. You’ve been away too long.”
She sat across from him, holding her coffee mug with both hands, and gazed down at the old Formica tabletop. In nine years, Lonny hadn’t replaced a single piece of furniture.
It wasn’t easy to admit, but Letty needed to say it. “I should’ve come back before now.” She thought it was best to let him know this before she told him about her heart.
“Yeah,” Lonny said evenly. “I wanted you back when Mom died.”
“It was too soon then. I’d been in California less than two years.”
It hurt Letty to think about losing her mother. Maren Ellison’s death had been sudden. Although Maren had begged her not to leave Red Springs, she was a large part of the reason Letty had gone. Her mother had had talent, too. She’d been an artist whose skill had lain dormant while she wasted away on a ranch, unappreciated and unfulfilled. All her life, Letty had heard her mother talk about painting in oils someday. But that day had never come. Then, when everyone had least expected it, Maren had died—less than a year after her husband. In each case, Letty had flown in for the funerals, then returned to California the next morning.
“What are your plans now?” Lonny asked, watching her closely.
Letty’s immediate future involved dealing with social workers, filling out volumes of forms and having a dozen doctors examine her to tell her what she already knew. Heart surgery didn’t come cheap. “The first thing I thought I’d do was clean the house,” she said, deliberately misunderstanding him.
A guilty look appeared on her brother’s face and Letty chuckled softly.
“I suppose the place is a real mess.” Lonny glanced furtively around. “I’ve let things go around here for the past few years. When you phoned and said you were coming, I picked up what I could. You’ve probably guessed I’m not much of a housekeeper.”
“I don’t expect you to be when you’re dealing with several hundred head of cattle.”
Lonny seemed surprised by her understanding. He stood and grabbed his hat, adjusting it on his head. “How long do you plan to stay?”
Letty shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. Is my being here a problem?”
“Not in the least,” Lonny rushed to assure her. “Stay as long as you like. I welcome the company—and decent meals for a change. If you want, I can see about finding you a job in town.”
“I don’t think there’s much call for a failed singer in Red Springs, is there?”
“I thought you said you’d worked as a secretary.”
“I did, part-time, and as a temp.” In order to have flexible hours, she’d done what she’d had to in order to survive, but in following her dream she’d missed out on health insurance benefits.
“There ought to be something for you, then. I’ll ask around.”
“Don’t,” Letty said urgently. “Not yet, anyway.” After the surgery would be soon enough to locate employment. For the time being, she had to concentrate on making arrangements with the appropriate authorities. She should probably tell Lonny about her heart condition, she decided reluctantly, but it was too much to hit him with right away. There’d be plenty of time later, after the arrangements had been made. No point in upsetting him now. Besides, she wanted him to become acquainted with Cricket before he found out she’d be listing him as her daughter’s guardian.
“Relax for a while,” Lonny said. “Take a vacation. There’s no need for you to work if you don’t want to.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“What are brothers for?” he joked, and drained his coffee. “I should get busy,” he said, rinsing his cup and setting it on the kitchen counter. “I should’ve gotten started hours ago, but I wanted to talk to you first.”
“What time will you be back?”
Lonny’s eyes widened, as though he didn’t understand. “Five or so, I guess. Why?”
“I just wanted to know when to plan dinner.”
“Six should be fine.”
Letty stood, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist. One question had been burning in her mind from the minute she’d pulled into the yard. One she needed to ask, but whose answer she feared. She tentatively broached the subject. “Will you be seeing Chase?”
“I do most days.”
“Does he know I’m back?”
Lonny’s fingers gripped the back door handle. “He knows,” he said without looking at her.
Letty nodded and she curled her hands into fists. “Is he…married?”
Lonny shook his head. “Nope, and I don’t imagine he ever will be, either.” He hesitated before adding, “Chase is a lot different now from the guy you used to know. I hope you’re not expecting anything from him, because you’re headed for a big disappointment if you are. You’ll know what I mean once you see him.”
A short silence followed while Letty considered her brother’s words. “You needn’t worry that I’ve come home expecting things to be the way they were between Chase and me. If he’s different…that’s fine. We’ve all changed.”
Lonny nodded and was gone.
The house was quiet after her brother left. His warning about Chase seemed to taunt her. The Chase Brown she knew was gentle, kind, good. When Letty was seventeen he’d been the only one who really understood her dreams. Although it had broken his heart, he’d loved her enough to encourage her to seek her destiny. Chase had loved her more than anyone before or since.
And she’d thrown his love away.
“Mommy, you were gone when I woke up.” Looking forlorn, five-year-old Cricket stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her yellow blanket clutched in her hand and dragging on the faded red linoleum floor.
“I was just downstairs,” Letty said, holding out her arms to the youngster, who ran eagerly to her mother, climbing onto Letty’s lap.
“I’m hungry.”
“I’ll bet you are.” Letty brushed the dark hair away from her daughter’s face and kissed her forehead. “I was talking to Uncle Lonny this morning.”
Cricket stared up at her with deep blue eyes that were a reflection of her own. She’d inherited little in the way of looks from her father. The dark hair and blue eyes were Ellison family traits. On rare occasions, Letty would see traces of Jason in their child, but not often. She tried not to think about him or their disastrous affair. He was out of her life and she wanted no part of him—
except for Christina Maren, her Cricket.
“You know what I thought we’d do today?” Letty said.
“After breakfast?”
“After breakfast.” She smiled. “I thought we’d clean house and bake a pie for Uncle Lonny.”
“Apple pie,” Cricket announced with a firm nod.
“I’m sure apple pie’s his favorite.”
“Mine, too.”
Together they cooked oatmeal. Cricket insisted on helping by setting the table and getting the milk from the refrigerator.
As soon as they’d finished, Letty mopped the floor and washed the cupboards. Lonny’s declaration about not being much of a housekeeper had been an understatement. He’d done the bare minimum for years, and the house was badly in need of a thorough cleaning. Usually, physical activity quickly wore Letty out and she became breathless and light-headed. But this morning she was filled with an enthusiasm that provided her with energy.
By noon, however, she was exhausted. At nap time, Letty lay down with Cricket, and didn’t wake until early afternoon, when the sound of male voices drifted up the stairs. She realized almost immediately that Chase Brown was with her brother.
Running a brush through her short curly hair, Letty composed herself for the coming confrontation with Chase and walked calmly down the stairs.
He and her brother were sitting at the table, drinking coffee.
Lonny glanced up when she entered the room, but Chase looked away from her. Her brother had made a point of telling her that Chase was different, and she could see the truth of his words. Chase’s dark hair had become streaked with gray in her absence. Deep crevices marked his forehead and grooved the sides of his mouth. In nine years he’d aged twenty, Letty thought with a stab of regret. Part of her longed to wrap her arms around him the way she had so many years before. She yearned to bury her head in his shoulder and weep for the pain she’d caused him.
But she knew she couldn’t.
“Hello, Chase,” she said softly, walking over to the stove and reaching for the coffeepot.
“Letty.” He lowered his head in greeting, but kept his eyes averted.
“It’s good to see you again.”
He didn’t answer that; instead he returned his attention to her brother. “I was thinking about separating part of the herd, driving them a mile or so south. Of course, that’d mean hauling the feed a lot farther, but I believe the benefits will outweigh that inconvenience.”
“I think you’re going to a lot of effort for nothing,” Lonny said, frowning.
Letty pulled out a chair and sat across from Chase. He could only ignore her for so long. Still his gaze skirted hers, and he did his utmost to avoid looking at her.
“Who are you?”
Letty turned to the doorway, where Cricket was standing, blanket held tightly in her hand.
“Cricket, this is Uncle Lonny’s neighbor, Mr. Brown.”
“I’m Cricket,” she said, grinning cheerfully.
“Hello.” Chase spoke in a gruff unfriendly tone, obviously doing his best to disregard the little girl in the same manner he chose to overlook her mother.
A small cry of protest rose in Letty’s throat. Chase could be as angry with her as he wanted. The way she figured it, that was his right, but he shouldn’t take out his bitterness on an innocent child.
“Your hair’s a funny color,” Cricket commented, fascinated. “I think it’s pretty like that.” Her yellow blanket in tow, she marched up to Chase and raised her hand to touch the salt-and-pepper strands that were more pronounced at his temple.
Chase frowned and moved back so there wasn’t any chance of her succeeding.
“My mommy and I are going to bake a pie for Uncle Lonny. Do you want some?”
Letty held her breath, waiting for Chase to reply. Something about him appeared to intrigue Cricket. The child couldn’t stop staring at him. Her actions seemed to unnerve Chase, who made it obvious that he’d like nothing better than to forget her existence.
“I don’t think Mr. Brown is interested in apple pie, sweetheart,” Letty said, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence.
“Then we’ll make something he does like,” Cricket insisted. She reached for Chase’s hand and tugged, demanding his attention. “Do you like chocolate chip cookies? I do. And Mommy makes really yummy ones.”
For a moment Chase stared at Cricket, and the pain that flashed in his dark eyes went straight through Letty’s heart. A split second later he glanced away as though he couldn’t bear to continue looking at the child.
“Do you?” Cricket persisted.
Chase nodded, although it was clearly an effort to do so.
“Come on, Mommy,” Cricket cried. “I want to make them now.”
“What about my apple pie?” Lonny said, his eyes twinkling.
Cricket ignored the question, intent on the cookie-making task. She dragged her blanket after her as she started opening and closing the bottom cupboards, searching for bowls and pans. She dutifully brought out two of each and rummaged through the drawers until she located a wooden spoon. Then, as though suddenly finding the blanket cumbersome, the child lifted it from the floor and placed it in Chase’s lap.
Letty could hardly believe her eyes. She’d brought Cricket home from the hospital in that yellow blanket and the little girl had slept with it every night of her life since. Rarely would she entrust it to anyone, let alone a stranger.
Chase looked down on the much-loved blanket as if the youngster had deposited a dirty diaper in his lap.
“I’ll take it,” Letty said, holding out her hands.
Chase gave it to her, and when he did, his cold gaze locked with hers. Letty felt the chill in his eyes all the way through her bones. His bitterness toward her was evident with every breath he drew.
“It would’ve been better if you’d never come back,” he said so softly she had to strain to hear.
She opened her mouth to argue. Even Lonny didn’t know the real reason she’d returned to Wyoming. No one did, except her doctor in California. She hadn’t meant to come back and disrupt Chase’s life—or anyone else’s, for that matter. Chase didn’t need to spell out that he didn’t want anything to do with her. He’d made that clear the minute she’d walked into the kitchen.
“Mommy, hurry,” Cricket said. “We have to bake cookies.”
“Just a minute, sweetheart.” Letty was uncertain how to handle this new problem. She doubted Lonny had chocolate chips in the house, and a trip into town was more than she wanted to tackle that afternoon.
“Cricket…”
Lonny and Chase both stood. “I’m driving on over to Chase’s for the rest of the afternoon,” Lonny told her. He obviously wasn’t accustomed to letting anyone know his whereabouts and did so now only as an afterthought.
“Can I go, too?” Cricket piped up, so eager her blue eyes sparkled with the idea.
Letty wanted her daughter to be comfortable with Lonny, and she would’ve liked to encourage the two of them to become friends, but the frown that darkened Chase’s brow told her now wasn’t the time.
“Not today,” Letty murmured, looking away from the two men.
Cricket pouted for a few minutes, but didn’t argue. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had, because Lonny and Chase left without another word.
Dinner was ready and waiting when Lonny returned to the house that evening. Cricket ran to greet him, her pigtails bouncing. “Mommy and me cooked dinner for you!”
Lonny smiled down on her and absently patted her head, then went to the bathroom to wash his hands. Letty watched him and felt a tugging sense of discontent. After years of living alone, Lonny tended not to be as communicative as Letty wanted him to be. This was understandable, but it made her realize how lonely he must be out here on the ranch night after night without anyone to share his life. Ranchers had to be more stubborn than any other breed of male, Letty thought.
To complicate matters, there was the issue of Cricket staying with Lonny whi
le Letty had the surgery. The little girl had never been away from her overnight.
Letty’s prognosis for a complete recovery was good, but there was always the possibility that she wouldn’t be coming home from the hospital. Any number of risks had to be considered with this type of operation, and if anything were to happen, Lonny would have to raise Cricket on his own. Letty didn’t doubt he’d do so with the greatest of care, but he simply wasn’t accustomed to dealing with children.
By the time her brother had finished washing up, dinner was on the table. He gazed down at the ample amount of food and grinned appreciatively. “I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve had a home-cooked meal like this. I’ve missed it.”
“What have you been eating?”
He shrugged. “I come up with something or other, but nothing as appetizing as this.” He sat down and filled his plate, hardly waiting for Cricket and Letty to join him.
He was buttering his biscuit when he paused and looked at Letty. Slowly he put down the biscuit and placed his knife next to his plate. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Sure,” she answered, smiling weakly. Actually, she wasn’t—the day had been exhausting. She’d tried to do too much and she was paying the price, feeling shaky and weak. “What makes you ask?”
“You’re pale.”
That could be attributed to seeing Chase again, but Letty didn’t say so. Their brief meeting had left her feeling melancholy all afternoon. She’d been so young and so foolish, seeking bright lights, utterly convinced that she’d never be satisfied with the lot of a rancher’s wife. She’d wanted diamonds, not denim.
“No, I’m fine,” she lied as Lonny picked up the biscuit again.
“Mommy couldn’t find any chocolate chips,” Cricket said, frowning, “so we just baked the apple pie.”
Lonny nodded, far more interested in his gravy and biscuits than in conversing with a child.
“I took Cricket out to the barn and showed her the horses,” Letty said.
Lonny nodded, then helped himself to seconds on the biscuits. He spread a thick layer of butter on each half.
“I thought maybe later you could let Cricket give them their oats,” Letty prompted.