“Maybe it’s sexist to even mention it was a woman,” Nathaniel said.
Kelly thought about it. “It’s definitely optional. Our language is probably to blame for making basic gender distinctions. I’m not a woman so I can’t say if they find that as offensive. I’m guessing they don’t.”
“Want to find out?” Nathaniel asked. “For the rest of the day, we’ll draw attention to gender as much as possible. ‘Excuse me, woman, do you know what time it is?’ Or ‘Thank you for the menus, woman, but could you tell us about the specials?’”
Kelly shook his head. “You’re determined to be offensive, aren’t you?”
“Maybe I’m trying to scare you off,” Nathaniel said, feeling brave.
Kelly looked him over. “You’ll have to try harder than that, but only because you’re hot.”
Nathaniel smiled. “I’m no model. And don’t worry. I’m not usually an asshole.”
“Too bad,” Kelly said. “I’ve had my fill of nice guys.”
“Really?”
“Yes. The problem with a truly nice person is that they’re nice to everyone, not just you. Most of the time that’s endearing, but in some situations it hurts like hell.”
“Yeah,” Nathaniel said, thinking of Caesar. “Some people have a little too much love in their hearts.”
“That they do,” Kelly said.
“Too much salt, not enough pepper.”
“Too much angel, not enough asshole.”
After a pause, they both laughed.
“I promise you I’m no angel,” Nathaniel said.
Kelly’s smile was playful. “Prove it.”
As the date continued—and even Nathaniel had to admit that’s what it was—he found himself more and more eager to prove himself in any way possible. During dinner, Kelly very generously let Nathaniel ramble on about movies, having plenty opinions of his own, which was refreshing. Zero might be his movie buddy, but he never weighed in on his favorite directors or revealed what he thought about a film’s plot. Kelly was intelligent and at times charming, squashing any qualms Nathaniel had about his age. He was damn fine too, and sitting across from him at a table for a few hours had the animal inside Nathaniel roaring to get out. As rusty as his dating skills were, he was certain the feeling was mutual. Kelly was sending all the right signals as they got back in the car, so Nathaniel made his move.
“You wanna come home with me?”
Kelly stared straight ahead. Then he looked over. “Yes.”
Nathaniel smiled. “Good.” His heart was thudding. He wanted nothing more than to start the car and get them to his place, but he had to be sure. “Listen, I don’t want any mixed signals here. I’m good for a fling. That’s about it.”
Kelly shook his head, as if not understanding. “You think that’s all I’m after?”
“I’m not sure, which is why I want to clear the air. I’m not the relationship type. I’d love to wake up next to you, but it wouldn’t change anything. I’ll make you breakfast—or maybe Zero will finally master scrambled eggs—and then we’ll carry on just like before. Does that make sense?”
Kelly searched his eyes. “I want more.”
More. A relationship and the wonderful honeymoon period where everything ahead of them was full of possibilities and love. But “more” also meant finding out who they really were, getting hurt, and wondering how they had been stupid enough to begin in the first place. Nathaniel couldn’t do that. “Then maybe I should take you home.”
Kelly’s lips quivered, then settled into a firm line. “I guess you should.”
Nathaniel started the car, the interior stuffy. Suffocating, like he couldn’t breathe. Even rolling down the windows didn’t help. He considered turning on music to drown out the silence, but part of him still hoped Kelly would reconsider or maybe find some magical words to change his mind, but neither of them spoke. Not until they were parked in front of Kelly’s house.
“Thanks for the evening,” Kelly said, the passenger door already open. “It was a beautiful fantasy.”
Nathaniel stayed long enough to watch Kelly make his way to the house, his shoulders tense as he unlocked the door. The light inside was warm, and hopefully comforting in some way, because Nathaniel had gotten his wish. He had proven he was no angel. Just not in the way he’d hoped.
* * * * *
Anyone who felt sorry for Kelly was a fool. He had survived a crippling accident and an unhealthy relationship. No wonder then, that despite what had transpired between them, he kept his head held high at work. When Nathaniel approached him in the break room one day, Kelly demanded to know—in front of everyone—why Nathaniel was okay with sleeping with him but nothing more.
In the privacy of his office, Nathaniel tried to explain why. He was a broken man. He was weak. He couldn’t handle getting hurt again. That’s why he hadn’t let anyone get close to him in years, not even as a friend. Nathaniel didn’t have any, but now he was willing to take that one small risk. They could be friends. Not surprisingly, Kelly wasn’t interested. Or at least he said he needed time to think about it, which sounded like a polite way of saying goodbye.
The obvious solution was to shove these feelings aside and focus on work, but Nathaniel found this impossible to do. The fashion world was falling in love with Kelly, which meant photos of him were constantly crossing Nathaniel’s desk, his name popping up in email after email. When not at work, Nathaniel was horny as hell, but jacking off provided little relief. A marathon of Christopher Nolan’s blissfully delirious early films helped, but once the credits rolled and the TV was off, Nathaniel struggled to find sleep.
Such as tonight. The steady patter of rain on the roof had slowed and stopped, the drops on the bedroom window reflecting distant lights. Nathaniel stared at these and wondered when his feverish need would finally break. That’s when he heard the knocks, few but insistent. Nathaniel glanced at the clock. Then he swung out of bed, grabbed his robe, and went to the door. He looked through the peephole, recognizing a face that haunted his fantasies despite it being distorted by the fisheye lens. When he opened the door, he saw raindrops still resting like little diamonds in the dark hair.
“Kelly?” Nathaniel liked how that name felt on his lips. Zero chose that moment to run for the door, Nathaniel stopping him with a well-timed leg and ordering him to stay back. Once he complied, Nathaniel returned his attention to his unexpected guest. “Any idea how late it is?”
“Two in the morning,” Kelly replied, radiating confidence. “I finished thinking. What we talked about, I reached a decision.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” Kelly came closer. Just a few inches, but already Nathaniel felt his body reacting. “Just friends. Nothing more.”
If that were true, he wouldn’t have shown up at this hour. “Strictly platonic?”
“Strictly?” Kelly leaned forward. “I don’t think so. How about no strings attached?”
Close enough. Nathaniel reached out, felt Kelly’s short hair in the palms of his hands, brought his mouth to those thick lips so he could taste them. Their first kiss. If the night was generous, it wouldn’t be the last.
“You’re not going to make me drive home, are you?” Kelly said. “Any idea how late it is?”
“Two in the morning. I should be in bed.”
Kelly’s eyes smoldered. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
Nathaniel stepped aside, clearing the way for Kelly to enter, but he only seemed interested in moving in for another kiss. Nathaniel was happy to reciprocate but couldn’t concentrate, since Zero might try bolting out the door again. “The dog,” he murmured.
“Oh, right.” Kelly entered the apartment, stopping halfway down the hallway. Nathaniel shut the door and locked it, then moved past Kelly to the bedroom where an animal was blocking the way. “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” he said.
“You’d better be talking to Zero and not me,” Kelly replied.
Nathaniel looked over at him.
“That depends on how you do.”
“Challenge accepted.”
“Come on, mutt.” Nathaniel bent over and pulled on Zero, who was already resisting. He never slept on the couch. Tonight would be different, unless he wanted to learn about the birds and the bees via a demonstration. Once he got the dog moving and Kelly entered the bedroom, Nathaniel followed. He shut the door and approached Kelly from behind, smelling the skin of his neck before kissing it.
Kelly turned in response, their lips meeting again, but kissing wasn’t enough. Nathaniel brought their bodies together, the fluffy material of the robe not concealing his erection. He felt it throb against Kelly’s warmth, wanted to press it even harder against him, and so he picked Kelly up. The crutches dropped to the ground, Kelly trusting Nathaniel’s strength as he leaned back. He was tempted to topple back completely, falling to the floor just to feel Kelly’s full weight on him. Of course that would hurt, so instead he took a few steps forward, dropping Kelly onto the mattress.
After scooting backward on the bed, Kelly propped himself up on his elbows, looking Nathaniel over with a lustful gaze, his eyes settling on the tenting fabric of his robe. He wanted a show? Seemed only fair considering how much of Kelly’s body Nathaniel had already seen. He grinned, slowly loosening the belt and letting the robe fall open. Then he shrugged it off until it dropped to the floor.
With an expression of awe, Kelly gawked. Not just at his cock, but his entire body, even back up to his face a few times.
Nathaniel couldn’t remember the last time he felt so appreciated. “You’re making me feel like a piece of meat,” he said, crawling onto the mattress and placing a hand to each side of Kelly’s head. “And I mean that in a good way.”
Kelly dodged an attempted kiss so he could reply. “Just as long as you don’t expect me to compete with that thing.”
“It’s not a contest,” Nathaniel said, “but I wouldn’t mind judging.”
Their lips met again, then their chests as Nathaniel lowered himself, feeling fabric against his bare skin, the idea of being naked around someone who was fully dressed oddly erotic. His pecs rubbed against a cotton shirt, his dick against denim. He kept kissing Kelly, but he wanted to feel their skin touch. Nathaniel switched to a sitting position and started working on the buttons of Kelly’s shirt, then decided he didn’t have the patience and tore it open instead, revealing a body smooth and dark.
“I’ll buy you a new one,” Nathaniel murmured, tugging off the remnants of the shirt. Then he let his fingers play along silky skin, tracing the curves of toned muscles. He’d stared at them so many times in photos, had even locked his office door while entertaining wild desires. Now those fantasies were coming true. Nathaniel leaned forward, licking Kelly’s bottom lip and nibbling it gently. Then he slid off the mattress and onto his knees, reaching for the waistline of Kelly’s jeans, wanting to rip them open so the bulge there could flex and grow. He had just worked the belt loose when Kelly grabbed his hand to stop him.
“Wait,” he said.
Nathaniel noticed the insecure expression. “I told you it’s not a competition.”
“It’s not that…”
Not insecure. Vulnerable, the way he had acted before and after the swimming pool shoot. He was worried what Nathaniel would think about his amputated leg. He moved his hands away from the jeans and leaned back. “If I had any doubts about what I wanted, we wouldn’t have made it this far. Your move.”
Kelly stared at him intensely, then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. Nathaniel was more than willing to do the rest, tugging them off. Kelly stopped watching, his head plopping down on the mattress so he wouldn’t witness Nathaniel’s reaction. This was the moment of truth. Claiming he was comfortable with the situation wasn’t the same as dealing with it directly. The jeans slid off. Just above where a knee should be, the leg came to a rounded point and ended. No big deal. Nathaniel considered it briefly before returning his attention to removing the skimpy underwear. He hooked his index fingers around the red cotton near the hip and tugged them down and off. Then he climbed back onto the bed, running a hand up one of Kelly’s thighs, letting his nose brush against the ebony skin of his balls, and tracing his tongue up the long pole before taking the brownish-pink head into his mouth.
Nathaniel wasn’t content with this alone. As he continued to suck, he reached up and across those abs, felt Kelly’s chest, returned south to caress his hips and stroke his legs. Anywhere he could reach, Nathaniel wanted to touch, and so he did, Kelly moaning his approval. Nathaniel’s own body began to ache with need, so he stopped what he was doing and looked up.
Kelly raised his head to see why he’d stopped. “What?”
“I’ve been dreaming about those lips every night. Or at least right before bed.”
Kelly’s eyes became half-lidded. “What did you dream I’d do with these lips?”
“Stay right there and I’ll show you.”
Nathaniel climbed up, placing a knee to either side of Kelly’s head and using one hand to point his dick downward. He rubbed the head of his cock across the closed lips, which opened in invitation. Nathaniel slid inside, the sensation overwhelming. Digital porn and a palm greased with lotion couldn’t compete with this. Kelly’s head was bobbing, but soon Nathaniel’s hips were thrusting, deeper and deeper, but Kelly seemed able to take it, his nose bumping into Nathaniel’s pelvis a few times. He found himself getting close, but he didn’t want to finish yet. Not in this position.
Nathaniel rolled over onto his back. “Come sit on me.”
“Condoms and lube,” Kelly said. Then he added, “And a few more nights like this, because I’m not ready yet.”
“That’s fine,” Nathaniel assured him. “That’s not what I meant anyway. Come here.”
Kelly climbed up and over, that gorgeous bubble butt of his settling down on Nathaniel’s cock. He might not be ready emotionally, but when Nathaniel flexed it a few times, he could tell Kelly’s body was willing.
“I love your face,” Nathaniel said, grabbing Kelly’s hips and grinding against him. “So many expressions.” Then he shifted Kelly downward enough that Nathaniel could sit up. They were facing each other, Kelly in his lap, arms and leg wrapped around Nathaniel as they kissed. Their hands reached for the same area, bumping together before adjusting and pressing their cocks together. Nathaniel’s was still wet from Kelly slobbering on it, but that wasn’t enough for their hands to slide freely. He looked down, took aim, and spit, Kelly doing the same. Then they laughed at the absurdity of this. Their levity didn’t last long. Nathaniel locked eyes with Kelly as they resumed pumping. He paced himself, not wanting it to end, watching every sensation play out on Kelly’s face. More so than ever, especially in the throes of bliss, Kelly was beautiful. If only the camera could capture him now! Nathaniel wouldn’t let that happen. This was for him alone. The handsome face became strained as he struggled to hold back the inevitable. Nathaniel thrust against him a few times, bringing their mouths together but not allowing them to touch. “Come with me,” he whispered.
Kelly chewed his bottom lip and nodded, his expression shifting to need. Nathaniel pumped faster, still waiting for the right moment, but that face was so damn beautiful that he couldn’t hold back. Hot white liquid splashed against the dark skin of Kelly’s chin. Mere seconds later, Nathaniel felt more of the same covering his stomach, Kelly nearly howling in ecstasy. Nathaniel leaned forward to kiss him, mostly to shut him up before the neighbors could complain. They shared the same air, gasping against each other. When their breath slowed to mere panting, Nathaniel grabbed Kelly and fell backward, holding him tight. He didn’t want to let go. Not ever. Eventually he sensed Kelly wasn’t exactly comfortable and loosened his grip.
Kelly rolled off. Nathaniel’s mind summoned up ghostly echoes of words he used to speak after such moments. Promises of love or jokes about what they had done or demands for more. Instead the room was filled with a heavy silence—his fault because he’d forbidden anythin
g more than the act they had just shared. Maybe he had been wrong.
“Kelly—” he said, but his new lover was already sitting up, groping over the edge of the mattress for his clothes. “What are you doing?”
“Just friends,” Kelly said, sounding upbeat. “I’m totally cool with that. Don’t worry. Besides, I sort of stole my mom’s car and should probably get it back.”
Nathaniel weighed this information. Part of him wanted more. Just a little affection, that’s all. This could be the best of both worlds. A friend, and when needed, slightly more. “You’re really okay with this?”
“Yeah!” Kelly said.
“In that case,” Nathaniel reached out and grabbed him, dragging him back into bed, “friends have sleepovers too, you know.”
“I suppose they do.” Kelly’s back was still to him, so Nathaniel couldn’t see his expression, but he didn’t sound despairing. “And I suppose when my mom finds both me and the car missing, she won’t call the cops right away.”
“Exactly.”
“How about a towel? You’re a human geyser!”
Nathaniel grinned. He did tend to make a mess. “Sorry. Be right back.”
He wasn’t sure how clean the towel in the bathroom was, and even though it would get much dirtier, he still wanted to present Kelly with something decent. He went to the hallway instead, Zero slinking along behind him on his way back into the room. Nathaniel pretended not to notice.
“The dog isn’t sleeping with us, is he?” Kelly said with a hint of a smile.
“It’s actually his bed.” Nathaniel tossed him the towel. “Zero got a part-time job to pay for it and everything. If we’re lucky, he’ll let us share it with him. It’s either that or the couch.”
“I suppose we’ll have to make do.” Kelly finished wiping off and threw the towel back, Nathaniel finding one end still dry enough to use. Then he tossed it aside and flopped into bed, patting an empty space next to him out of habit that Zero soon filled.