To, Angie, for giving me inspiration in Redemption.
You’ll know what I mean once you’ve read it, Sis.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or events is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2015 Jaimie Roberts
All rights reserved.
ISBN-10: 1511519908
ISBN-13: 978-1511519908
REDEMPTION (Deviant, #2)
By
Jaimie Roberts
Prologue
I always thought that as long as I could go through life with my head above water, I’d be okay. And that’s exactly what my life entailed…up until this point. So what has happened now? Now I was drowning, flailing in a sea threatening to swallow me whole and never spit me out again.
But, man, what a sea to drown in. What a blissfully ignorant wave I was riding on. And why? Well, it all stemmed from a boy I met when I was six-years-old. You remembered him, didn’t you? The boy with the cheeky grin, the black spiky hair, and the most amazing piercing blue eyes? Yes, that’s the one. The love of my life, the man of my dreams…the fucking painful thorn in my side. I could never say the kind of relationship Dean and I had was conventional.
No.
We were the two most fucked up people I’d ever seen. He swept me off my feet when I was six, sucked me into a world where only he existed, then disappeared from my life. It bruised me in a way from which I knew I would never recover. I hid it well from others, but I was painfully in love with this boy who vanished from my life.
Then he returned, and he wasn’t my Dean anymore. He wasn’t the boy who used to climb into my window when I was a child. He wasn’t the boy who would whisper in my ear, make me permanently blush, and cause my stomach to flutter with a million butterflies.
No.
He was a man consumed by rage, hate, and revenge. A man who would stop at nothing until I was broken. Well, he succeeded. I was wrecked. I was not the woman I used to be. I had shattered into a million pieces. My resolve was weakened, my heart was crushed, and I was turned into something I thought I would never become…weak.
I was forced into accepting help from my parents—something which I vowed never to do. I was also forced into cashing in my trust fund a little earlier than anticipated. Thanks to my parents and a clause in my trust fund that if I marry or become pregnant before my thirtieth birthday, I was to inherit two million pounds, I had money…lots of it. It made me feel sick every day to know that I couldn’t stand on my own two feet. That I couldn’t be the one to decide my fate. And why? Because I had to run. I had to run far away from the man I used to run towards. A man I would have given anything to run to. And it was all because of one person.
Ian.
My so-called best friend. The boy I used to play with when I was small. The boy I used to spend my summer holidays with, get drunk with, have spaghetti bolognese nights with. I was at school with him, went to university with him… Hell, I even worked with him. He was always there. Always my constant. Always, it seems, scheming behind my back. I loved him like a best friend should, but he was waiting in the shadows for the right time to strike the whole time.
I could safely say that my life had changed dramatically in the last few years. I was never one to be ordinary. Hell, I used to let a stranger come into my flat and wickedly tease me on a regular basis. That could hardly be considered ordinary. But why did I let it happen? Did I subconsciously know it was Dean the whole time? Quite possibly. In fact, I kept telling myself that just so I didn’t think I was going crazy. I was wrong to let it go on but, truth be told, it was the best thing that ever happened. At least I could have closure. At least I now knew what became of Dean. I could finally be free and start my life anew.
Or so I thought.
After I left and never looked back, things were fine for over four years. I was keeping my head above water. I was managing to live my life normally, beginning my dream of becoming a kindergarten teacher. I was managing to get by, focusing solely on one important person in my life. He was my reason for getting up every morning and carrying on. He was my lifeline. He was the person I could cuddle up to at night when I felt lonely and scared of what my life might become. He was my everything, and all my energy went into making the best out of the situation I got myself into.
I was careful not to be found. My family and I had come to an arrangement on how I could contact them. I could never call the house, never contact them by mobile phone. I had to go through a lawyer friend, who would pass on messages to them. It worked for a while. I knew Dean would never give up and I knew that, despite everything he had done to me, I would never be able to hold myself back from falling into his abyss again. I was always there, and I had kidded myself into thinking I could crawl back out of it. I just wanted to be as far away from him as possible so he couldn’t suck me under.
It worked. I was coping. Then something made my world turn upside down.
In that one moment, everything changed.
Chapter 1
Clara O’Shea
“Derren, what time are we having lunch today? I have a hair appointment at twelve, and I think I’ll be about an hour.” I listened out for his voice to see if he had heard me. When he appeared from the hallway and walked into the kitchen, I smiled and let out a little sigh. Derren never failed to amaze me at just how handsome he looked. He seemed to get better with age. His hazel eyes danced over my body, making my stomach clench. Even after all these years, he certainly still had it in him to make me weak in the knees. All the ladies loved him, even his interns, who were twenty years his junior. He never looked at them, though. He was mine. All mine.
He walked over, planted a gentle kiss on my cheek, and smiled his devilish grin. “Reservations are at one-thirty.” He leaned over, kissed me again, and breathed out a contented sigh. “Have I told you that you look beautiful today?”
I closed my eyes and breathed in his sweet scent. He always smelled like the sweetest lavender. “You tell me every day, but it never gets old.”
He smiled again, turned to pour himself a coffee, then sat next to me. I watched as he frowned a little before blowing into his coffee mug. That look on him instantly sent a pang to my gut. At that moment, I saw Tyler. Not a day went by when I did not wish I could be there for her. I missed her more than words could say. My heart ached and my teeth clenched every time I thought of Dean and what he did to her. I knew they always loved each other, but I never knew just how fierce that love ran. Dean acted on events completely out of Tyler’s control. She didn’t deserve the retribution he sought. She was an innocent victim in a torrent of lies and deceit that one man brought upon us all. The one man I always trusted. The one man with whom I thought Tyler would end up.
“You always look so sad lately, and I hate seeing you like that.”
Derren’s voice brought me out of my daydream and back into reality. “I just don’t like the thought that she’s all on her own out there. I hate the fact that one man has made her do that.” I knew he was stalking our every move. I also knew he must be tapping our phones. We were always careful, but I hated that we had to do this to keep our daughter safe. To keep her heart safe.
Leaning forward, Derren placed his hand over mine. “She’s safe now. Without Dean in her life, she can carry on as normal. Dean was always going to bring danger with him, and there was no way we were going to let that happen. He has obviously taken his father’s seat, and that’s fine. But at least he won’t be dragging our daughter down with him now.” He saw my eyes glisten a little and he clasped my hand tighter, smiling. “They’re safe now, Clara. They will always be safe as lon
g as everything carries on as normal. I know it’s hard, but Tyler has someone in her life now that can make her happy. Let’s just cling onto that.”
I nodded and dabbed my eyes a little, not wanting my make-up to run. I hated getting my make-up or hair out of place. “You’re right, and I love you.”
Derren leaned over and softly kissed me on the lips. “I love you, too.”
Just as we smiled at each other, the phone rang. I instantly got up and ran to it, thinking it was my intern checking in.
“Hello,” I chirped into the phone.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”
My heart thumped and the dizziness consumed me. “Tyler?” I asked, not knowing why I asked. I knew it was her. I just didn’t think she would ever call here.
In that instance, Derren’s chair scraped across the floor as he raced over to place a hand on my shoulder. I looked into his eyes and what looked back at me was exactly what I was feeling…desperation.
“I know I shouldn’t call, but…but…” Tyler sobbed into the phone and I felt completely and utterly helpless. Panic didn’t even describe what I was feeling. Tyler knew never to call here, so it had to be something bad to make her do it.
“It’s okay. Deep breaths. Please, honey. You’re scaring me. What is it?”
Tyler went silent for a moment and sniffled a little before letting out a breath. “He’s sick, Mum. I’m so, so scared. I can’t go through this all over again.”
I inhaled a deep breath and grabbed Derren’s hand, looking him deep in the eyes as I gripped onto the phone. “We’ll be on the next flight.”
Chapter 2
Dean
Redemption is not perfection.
The redeemed must realize their imperfections.
John Piper
Frustrated didn’t even begin to describe how the last four years of my life had been. Four fucking years and I’d come up with nothing. I must have gone through six different P.I.’s because no one could dig up diddly-fucking-squat. I was tired, but I was also determined. I was never going to give up until I found her again. I had no idea what I would do once I did, but I knew I would start by crawling on my hands and knees, begging her forgiveness. I was wrong and I could admit that. I never truly wanted to break her, but I did. Even if she had betrayed me, I would still be half the man I used to be.
Nothing else seemed to matter anymore. I had built a life around revenge and had enacted it. I didn’t need to carry on this façade anymore. I didn’t need to feed off other people’s mistakes by making them pay by any means necessary. I did what I had to do to keep my businesses above water. I sold a few ventures that could keep me comfortable well into retirement age, passed on more responsibility to Humphrey, and toned down my anger…all so I could concentrate my energies into finding Tyler. I knew the day would come when I would find her, but I just didn’t think that four years could go by with still no sign of her.
After about six months, I went back to using women as a tool for getting myself off, but I would always picture Tyler when I did it. In the end, I gave up. I was a fucking pig. I used and abused women just so I could get my fix, but it never worked. It just made me angrier with myself and the level of self-disgust grew and grew. There was only ever one person for my salvation. Only one person could make me a better man. The day I found out she had never betrayed me like I thought she had all those years ago, my black heart suddenly turned the brightest of red. It took its first beat for her because she was the one and only woman for me.
I simply had to find her. There was no other way, no other option. She was mine and always would be. I had paid thousands upon thousands of pounds to find my Rosey, and I would pay a million more if I knew I could see her again. Losing her was never going to be an option for me. Even when I hunted her, stalked her, played with her emotions all those years, I knew she would never escape me.
With a shake of my head, I thought about everything I’d done to her. I even paid thousands on a fucking ex-movie make-up artist just so I could be the master of disguise so she wouldn’t recognize me. It sounded ludicrous, but it was true. I could be Dillon, the boy who stole her virginity; Andrew Walker, her boss; an average man walking on the fucking street. She wouldn’t have noticed. I had paid the best and got the best. She didn’t suspect a thing…for a while anyway.
Taking in a deep breath, I started my rampage on the punching bag. That was one thing I never lost. I always kept fit, always punched my frustration away in the hope I could feel better, even if it was for only a few minutes. I fed off on the endorphins as it was the only high I knew I could trust.
I punched and punched until my muscles cried out in pain. I was rock solid now, stronger than ever before. It was the only comfort I had now that Tyler was out of my life.
As I hit the bag once more, I stopped and looked in the mirror. I wasn’t at my mansion anymore. The mansion was long gone, along with all memories of what used to be. I was in my penthouse. It was my sanctuary, containing pictures and memories of Tyler. A reminder of something good and something pure in my life. She was the only reason I smiled these days. The only time I could ever smile was when I thought of her.
As I stared at myself, I looked at the latest tattoos I’d had done after Tyler left. One was a picture of Tyler when she was eight. I was standing in the park we sometimes played in and I had my arm around her. Even then, she looked in the camera with such intensity, it would take your breath away. Her hair was a mass of blonde waves back then, but it had straightened out over time. Her cheeks were as rosy as ever, and her eyes were, and still are, the most beautiful turquoise green. Whenever I looked into those eyes, it always reminded me of being on a tropical island where the sand was white and the sea was the most beautiful and clear turquoise green you had ever seen. Tyler was my tropical island. The only place I could finally call home and be who I once was.
The other tattoo was a reminder of what I did to her. It tortured me day after day because I needed it in order to see what I did to her. I would never truly heal from that day. I always knew I would carry that guilt for the rest of my life.
And I deserved it. I deserved every single fucking letter engraved into my chest. Something that would stare back at me in the mirror every morning. Something from which I could never escape. That tattoo had one name, and one name only…
Jeremy.
It was something that stood out and would be a constant reminder of what I had done. What a monster I had become…and what I had lost.
I never knew that boy, but I would have liked to. If things had been different, Tyler and I could have raised him. I would have gladly done anything that would make her happy. Back then, I never knew, but now… Hey, hindsight is a fucking wonderful thing. Didn’t you just love that word? Didn’t it just tease you sometimes? Didn’t you wish you could take hindsight, kick it in the bollocks, and shove it up its own ass?
I can’t fault it. I did what I did and I have to pay. I fucked up the only person who could ever make me truly happy. And, in turn, she fucked me up, too. I deserved everything I got. I was the only person to blame in all of this. Ian did what he did and I was glad he’s dead because of it, but there was only one person to blame. And nothing was going to stop me until I made it right. Nothing or no one could stop me from making sure Tyler knew how much I loved her, how much I wanted to make her mine, and just how fucking sorry I was for what I did to her.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and headed for the shower. In a couple hours, I was supposed to be meeting Jimmy for lunch, so I needed to start getting ready. As I got out of the shower, I heard my intercom buzzing. I frowned because I wasn’t expecting anyone. Whoever it was, they were obviously frantic as the ringing just wouldn’t stop.
Grabbing the towel, I wrapped it around my waist, then headed for the intercom. I picked up the phone, Jimmy’s face coming up on the monitor. “Jimmy, what the fuck? Are you so excited to see me that you can’t even wait a couple hours?” I hu
ffed out a laugh, but he didn’t crack a smile.
“I’ve been trying to call you for the past fucking half-hour. Where have you been?”
I shrugged. “Working out. I just got out of the shower. What’s up, chump?”
Jimmy smiled wickedly at the camera. “I think you’ll want to let me in first. This is something I have to tell you face to face.”
I nodded and pressed the button to let him in. It wasn’t long before he emerged from the lift, staring at me with that fucking grin of his.
“What’s made you look so fucking cocky then? By the look on your face before, I thought you wanted to punch me.”
Jimmy shook his head and crossed his arms. “I was only pissed because I couldn’t find you and tell you the news.”
I stood there for a few seconds, waiting, but I knew he wasn’t going to give it up that easily. “What fucking news, Jimmy? Tell me!”
Jimmy chuckled. “You owe me big time for this, buddy. The love of your life called her parents.”
My heart thumped wildly in my chest. I couldn’t believe I finally had something. But then realization kicked in. She would never normally call her parents. There’s something wrong.
“Is she okay? Why did she call them? She never fucking calls them.”
Jimmy’s smile vanished and was replaced by a frown. “I don’t know. All I know is she said he’s sick, and now Tyler’s mum and dad are making arrangements to fly over and see her.”
I nearly punched the wall. “Fuck! I have to find out where they’re going, Jimmy. I need to follow their every move.”
Jimmy smiled again. “Already on it. They’ve booked a flight to Washington Dulles and I’m booked on the same flight. You’re booked on the flight after. I got your back, man.”