“I don’t know,” he said quietly, “I thought maybe it would be a mixture of colors.” He leaned toward me and lowered his voice even more. “Between you and me, I find it odd that Lucas didn’t find you before we got there.” What was he talking about?
I remembered the conversation he’d had with his father that first night. Was he thinking Lucas…was the wolf? That was just insane!
Was this conversation really happening? Obviously, I’d suffered some oxygen deprivation while I’d been under the water.
“I think if Lucas was running fast and I was under water—which I was for a while—he could have lost sight of me.”
“Maybe,” Mason muttered. “There’s just something odd about this whole thing.”
“Whatever. I’m tired.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t really bring you over here to give you the third degree. I was just curious. A lot of unexplained things happen in this forest.”
“People play tricks on campers all the time, trying to freak them out. Like telling ghost stories around the campfire.”
“I guess.” He smiled at me. “I’m glad you’re okay. I was actually a little jealous thinking of Lucas coming to your rescue. I’m really glad he pulled that idiot move and went too far. Means he’s not perfect.”
I touched his arm. “No need to be jealous.”
“Maybe we’ll have that date tomorrow night.”
“Maybe.”
He leaned forward like he was going to kiss me. Then stopped. Probably because he felt the same thing I did. Without even turning around, I knew Lucas was watching.
I saw the determination light up Mason’s eyes, and I knew he was going to kiss me. He wanted to do it to get even with Lucas for something. But I wasn’t playing that game. Before he could turn his attention back to me, I said, “Goodnight”—and walked away.
This camp is on testosterone overload.
I was almost to my tent when Lucas said, “Hey, Kayla, can you join us for a sec?”
The words formed a question; his tone didn’t. It was a command. I was physically and mentally exhausted. Still, I shored up my reserves and trudged over to where he and the other sherpas were gathered. I wondered what was up with their secretive expressions. I had the feeling that whatever they’d been discussing, they didn’t want the Keane group to know.
“How are you doing?” Lucas asked. True concern was reflected in his voice. I blinked back the tears that wanted to reveal my weakness. I was still trying to prove myself, not only to Lucas but also to the other guides. Lindsey gave me a reassuring smile.
“I’m doing okay. I owe that wolf my life. You heard about that, right? With the bear?”
“Yeah, Rafe told me. Sorry I wasn’t around to be more help.”
“You never struck me as someone who would panic and keep running without looking back.” Even as I said the words, realizing I probably shouldn’t have said them with the other sherpas standing around listening, I knew they were true. Lucas didn’t panic. Ever. He didn’t make stupid mistakes.
“The water was going so fast that I thought you were farther down. I didn’t think to slow down and make sure.”
I nodded, even though the words didn’t ring true.
“I’d leave the wolf a steak if I could,” I said.
“I’m sure he’d appreciate it. Anyway, I called you over because we wanted to know if you saw anything—noticed anything strange on the riverbank before you started to cross over.”
Glancing around at the serious faces of the sherpas, I shook my head. “I had a second to glance back before I went under, but it was just shadows. Why would someone try to sabotage this expedition? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“We’re not sure it’s the expedition,” Rafe said. “We’re thinking it might be someone with a grudge against the sherpas, against us.”
“That’s not exactly true,” Lucas said. “It’s a grudge against me.”
“Why would someone have a grudge against you?” I asked. “I mean, you’re Mr. Congeniality.”
His teeth flashed white as he smiled. “Cute.”
Yeah, I thought, you absolutely are when you grin like that.
“So—seriously. Who would hold a grudge?” I asked.
“Devlin. He was a sherpa here last summer. He did some stuff he shouldn’t have done, took chances, put campers at risk,” Brittany explained.
“Lucas kicked his butt,” Connor said. He sounded so in awe that I was surprised he didn’t give Lucas a fist bump.
“After which, Devlin took a hike.” Apparently Rafe wanted to add to the story.
“But that doesn’t mean he hasn’t returned or that he’s not hanging around,” Lindsey warned.
Reflexively, everyone glanced around. It seemed strange that they were concerned about some slacker sherpa from last summer. Why would he be here now? I was the newbie. I was supposed to be nervous. They weren’t. It gave me a bad feeling about everything.
“We’d know if he were around,” Connor said.
“Not if he stayed far enough back,” Lindsey responded.
“Lindsey has a point,” Lucas said.
“Not to add to the paranoia that’s being stirred up here, but I keep getting a sense that I’m being watched,” I told them.
“That’s right,” Lindsey murmured. “That first night, she was all spooked—”
“I wasn’t spooked. It just felt like someone was watching. And last night, too.”
“What about last night?” Lucas asked.
“When we were drinking the beer, I had a sense that someone was watching. I mean, I saw a wolf later—”
“What color?”
“Mason just asked me the same question about the wolf that attacked the bear. Is there something going on with the wolves in the park that I need to know about? You said they don’t attack people.”
“They don’t, but we’ve had some reports of at least one that warrants watching. So what color was the wolf you saw?”
“Last night it was hard to tell. If I had to guess I’d say black, but it could have been just the night shadows. The thing is, Mason was with me last night when I saw the wolf. He said he saw the same wolf—or at least he thinks it was the same wolf—hanging around the night of my birthday party.”
“Mason was out in the woods during the party?” Lindsey asked. “And the wolf?”
“Mason said he couldn’t sleep. But I don’t think he’s what I felt watching me. I think it was the wolf, because I had that same creepy feeling last night.” I gave a small laugh. “Of course, a wolf couldn’t cut a rope, so I don’t know that all this means anything.”
Lucas exchanged a strange look with Rafe.
“What?” I asked.
“Devlin had a pet wolf,” Lucas said. “If it’s around, there’s a good chance that Devlin is, too. Everyone needs to stay alert. We’ll start posting guards at night. Rafe and Brittany, you’re up first.”
A few minutes later, it felt great to crawl into my sleeping bag. I was battered and bruised, but remarkably I hadn’t suffered any major cuts or scrapes. All in all, I’d been incredibly fortunate.
With that realization, my thoughts shifted to the wolf. I wondered if he was off somewhere nursing his wounds. Was there a female wolf waiting for him somewhere? Didn’t wolves mate for life? Were they more loyal than humans?
“Kayla?” Lindsey whispered.
I rolled over without thought, groaning as my muscles and bruised skin protested. Last summer we’d shared a tent and talked late into the night. As much as I liked Brittany, I wasn’t as close to her as I was to Lindsey, and I had a feeling Lindsey wasn’t quite comfortable talking about everything with Brittany in the tent. “Yeah?”
“What do you think of Rafe?”
Of all the things I’d expected her to ask, after everything that had happened today, that question hadn’t even popped up on my radar. “I think he’s nice. Why?”
“I don’t know. He’s been around forever. I’ve grown
up with him. It’s just that he seems—different. More in command than usual. I mean, I’ve been thinking about him a lot—and it’s just weird.”
“You mean you like him?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“What about Connor?”
“I know. I don’t want to hurt him. I really don’t, but I just don’t know if he’s the right one for me.”
“Do you have to decide this summer?”
“It’s sort of a tradition in our families that you figure out by the time you’re seventeen who you’re supposed to be with. My birthday’s coming up.”
“That is so…medieval.”
She released a tight laugh. “Yeah, I know. I just wish Lucas had paired me—instead of Brittany—up with Rafe as guards tonight. It’s not any fun at all to be paired up with Connor. We haven’t been getting along lately.”
I furrowed my brow. “Maybe he’ll pair me up with Connor to guard later on.”
“Yeah, right. Do you not see the way Lucas looks at you? You are definitely sharing guard duty with him.”
Suddenly the inside of my sleeping bag was way too warm. I slipped my leg out and rolled onto my side, half in and half out of my bag. “I don’t know that it means anything. I mean, sometimes I get the impression that he considers me a lot of trouble. Besides, he’s pretty hot. He probably has a girlfriend.”
“I’ve never seen him with anyone more than a couple of times. He’s never gotten serious with a girl. At least, not that I know of.”
“I’m not even sure he likes me. Seriously. He’s always barking at me.”
She laughed lightly. “Literally?”
“What? No. He’s just moody, but then I guess he has a lot of responsibility.”
“Not only that, I’m sure he’s trying to live up to everyone’s expectations. His family is pretty powerful in the area.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Oh yeah. The Wildes pretty much rule things.”
“Have they lived around here long?”
“For sure. Old family. They’ve been here, like, since the Civil War or something.”
“I wonder if they were around when my parents were killed. My therapist says I need to face my past, but it’s a little hard when I don’t have clear memories of it and I don’t know anyone who was there.”
“That must have been hard. Watching your parents die. I can’t even imagine…”
“I didn’t actually see them die. Mom had shoved me back into this”—an image came to me and with it came sounds, smells—“into this little cave or something. There was growling.” Were there wolves? Had the hunters shot at them and hit my parents? Was my mother trying to protect me?
“Do you know exactly where it happened in the park?”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t ask anyone last year. I don’t think I really wanted to face the specifics. It was enough just to come here. But this year…I can’t explain it, Lindsey, but I feel different. I feel like I’m supposed to be here. That I’m on the verge of some discovery.”
“Like what?”
“I’m not sure. But that wolf today…I wasn’t afraid of him. It was like I knew him. How weird is that?”
“Were wolves there when your parents were killed?”
“I didn’t think so. I thought the hunters were just crazy. But I’ve been having these snippets of memory and there are wolves, but they aren’t rabid or anything.”
“Maybe you need to relax with those thoughts. Let them take you wherever.”
“Maybe.” I released a deep breath. “I’m too tired to think about it clearly tonight. I feel like I’m about to crash from the adrenaline rush.”
She reached out and squeezed my hand. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Me, too.” I smiled at her. “Night.”
I rolled back over and tried to go to sleep, but I was thinking about the wolf again. Why had he seemed so familiar? Had my real parents and I discovered a den of wolves? Maybe some cubs? Were my parents trying to protect them from the hunters? I wished I could remember more about that day. How long did wolves live? Why did I feel a connection with this one?
Then I heard a lonesome howl, and I somehow knew, knew, it was him calling to me. I felt this stirring deep down in my chest. I wanted to sit up, throw my head back, and howl in return. I wanted to answer his call. My strange reaction to his howl was frightening. It was as though he was calling out to some primal part of me that I hadn’t even realized existed.
Face your fears, Dr. Brandon had said.
It was difficult to do when they constantly changed. Originally, they all centered around my past and what had happened with my parents. These fears brought forth the nightmares. But lately my fears had more to do with my future, with the unknown, with this strange stirring deep inside me. Sometimes I just felt as though I was going through changes that I couldn’t understand. And I didn’t know who to talk with about them, because I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was happening.
But I did know one thing: I wasn’t afraid of that wolf. I slipped out of my bedroll and pulled on my boots. Lindsey didn’t stir. I grabbed my first aid kit and flashlight before creeping outside. Brittany and Rafe were standing on the far side of the camp talking, not really paying attention. And even if they did spot me, they were watching for any danger that might come into the camp. I certainly wasn’t a threat to anyone, and we weren’t forbidden from leaving.
I hesitated a moment and thought about going to get Lucas, but I didn’t plan to walk far. I didn’t think I’d need to. I scurried around to the side of the tent and then strode out into the thicket, using the flashlight to guide me until I reached a spot far enough from camp that my talking voice wouldn’t be heard, but close enough that my scream would be. I switched off my flashlight and waited. It was silly to think, to hope, that the wolf would come.
A crescent moon shone down on me. It was enough to see by. In the city, I had never realized how bright moonlight could be—or maybe it was just that my eyes were getting better at adjusting to the darkness—but my night vision was somehow keener.
Suddenly I heard a gentle padding. It seemed my ears were more alert as well. I shifted my eyes to the side, and there he was.
I dropped down to one knee, wishing I’d brought him something to eat. The moonlight gleamed along his multicolored fur as though drawn into it. “Hey, fella.”
My voice caught with an edge of self-consciousness. I talked to Fargo, my Lhasa at home, all the time. But this was different. This was an animal of the wild, yet he didn’t seem threatening. I didn’t want to make any sudden moves, didn’t want to frighten him. “I wanted to thank you.”
To my amazement, he eased a little closer, close enough that I could pet him. I hesitated, before slowly burying my hand into his thick pelt. On top the fur was stiff, but underneath it was soft and comforting. Working to keep my voice calm and even, I said, “Don’t be afraid. I know you got hurt. I want to see how bad it is.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what I could do to help. Try to clean it, put a little antiseptic on it? I was afraid if I bandaged it, he would be more visible to predators. I knew wolves varied in color so they could hide in their surroundings more easily. I cooed softly as I moved down to his hindquarter—the one that had gotten hurt. I’d never been this close to a wild creature. It was thrilling and unnerving. I knew if he decided to attack me that I wouldn’t stand a chance of surviving, but I also instinctually knew that he wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t know an animal could be so still. I brushed my hand through his fur, expecting to feel matted fur and dried blood. But it felt the same as the fur at his shoulder. I reached for my flashlight and shone it on his backside.
There was no blood. Not a trace. That didn’t make sense. I could have sworn he’d gotten hurt. I thought maybe if he’d gone into a river or pond, the blood might have washed away, but there should have been gouged flesh where the bear had clawed him. Very gently I moved his fur aside, but I could find no wound. My
stified, I sat back on my heels. “I guess it was the bear’s blood.”
It wasn’t as though I’d fully recovered from the ordeal in the river—I could have been mistaken about what had really happened.
I looked at the wolf. His head was twisted around as he watched me. I said, “You’re so beautiful. I’m glad you’re all right, but you can’t hang around here. You might get hurt.” Especially if Dr. Keane or Mason spotted him. “You need to go back to your pack.”
Suddenly he snapped his head forward. He gave a throaty growl.
“What is it, boy?” Then I chastised myself. Did I really think he could understand what I was asking? That he could answer me?
He glanced back at me, before taking off like a speeding bullet. I’d been worried that maybe I’d just been unable to find the wound, but now I knew for certain that he wasn’t hurt at all.
I sat there for a while, staring into the darkness where he’d disappeared. I’d seen TV specials about people who communed with wild animals, but this was my first experience. Part of me thought it should have felt weird, but at the same time, it had seemed almost natural—as though the wolf and I were somehow connected.
It was strange. Ever since I’d returned to the forest, I’d had this odd sense of belonging. I felt a protectiveness toward the wolves especially. It was more than the fact that they were beautiful. It was as though they had human qualities: They were intelligent, monogamous, family-oriented. Maybe it was that sense of family that drew me to the wolf. Having lost my parents, family was so important to me.
“Kayla?”
Startled by Lucas’s unexpected voice, I twisted around. “Hey.”
“What are you doing out here?”
My encounter with the wolf felt very personal and private. I didn’t want to share it. Besides, I thought it was possible that he’d think I was a little psycho.
“Just another night of not being able to sleep.” I pushed myself to my feet.
“I’ve been there—when you’re so exhausted, you think you’ll crash and instead you stay awake.”