John McFarland watched the only woman he’d ever loved vanish from his life. In releasing her, he had made the ultimate sacrifice. It was probably the one completely unselfish act of his lonely life.
Ten
The sound was what astonished Judy most. Street noise: buses, taxis, traffic, shouts, raised voices, laughter, televisions, radios. The clamor was less irritating than it was distracting. The island had taught her to appreciate the wonders of silence.
But this was Manhattan, not St. Steven’s Island, Judy had to repeatedly remind herself. The first few days after her arrival home, she’d felt as though she’d returned to another planet. The life that had once been familiar and comfortable felt strangely out of sync—and appallingly loud. In time, she knew she’d adjust, just as she’d adapted to life on the island.
“It’s McFarland, isn’t it?” her father asked her over breakfast the first week she was home.
“John?”
Charles Lovin’s features were tight with anxiety. The months apart had taken their toll on him. It showed in the way his eyes followed her, his gaze sad and troubled. “McFarland treated you abominably, didn’t he?”
“Of course not,” Judy answered, dismissing her father’s fears with a generous smile. “John McFarland was the perfect gentleman.”
“From the beginning?”
Judy lowered her eyes to her plate as a twinge of loneliness brought tears to her eyes. “In his own way, yes. He’s an unusual person.”
“You think I don’t know that? I died a thousand deaths worrying about you alone with that…that beast.”
“I wasn’t alone with John and, Father, really, he isn’t a beast.”
Charles Lovin’s instant denial faded in Judy’s ears. She pretended to be listening while her father listed John’s many faults in a loud, haranguing voice. Her thoughts were a thousand miles away on a Caribbean island where orchids grew in abundance and children laughed and a man ruled his own kingdom.
“Judy, are you listening to me? Judy?”
“I’m sorry,” she said contritely, looking at her father. “What were you saying?”
Father and son exchanged meaningful glances.
“I’m sure you can appreciate that Dad and I were concerned about you,” David said, studying his sister.
“Naturally. I would’ve been worried myself had the circumstances been reversed,” Judy murmured, feeling wretched. She wanted to defend John, but both her father and her brother were filled with bitterness toward him.
“He never spoke to us personally,” David continued. “I can’t begin to tell you how frustrated Dad and I were. We must’ve contacted McFarland a hundred times and never got past that assistant of his. By the way, what’s this Anderson fellow like?”
“Avery?”
“Yes. I tell you, he’s an expert at sidestepping questions. No matter how much Dad and I hounded him, we never got a straight answer.”
At the memory of Avery Anderson, Judy brightened and spent the next five minutes describing John’s assistant. “He really is a funny little man. So polite and—”
“Polite!” Her father nearly choked on his coffee. “The next thing I know, you’ll be telling me McFarland’s a saint.”
Judy blushed at the memory of the times he could have made love to her, and hadn’t. “In some ways he was a saint.”
Her announcement was followed by a stunned silence.
“Any man who pulls the kind of stunts John McFarland does will burn in hell,” Charles Lovin stated emphatically.
“Father!”
“I mean it. That man is a demon.”
Judy pushed her plate aside and managed not to defend John. “And just what did he do that was so terrible?”
“Why, he…he nearly destroyed our business.”
“It’s thriving now. You told me so yourself.”
“Now!” Charles Lovin spat. “But McFarland drove us to the brink of disaster, then took delight in toying with us.”
“He told me once that he held you in high regard,” Judy informed him.
“Then Lord help us if he ever wants to be my friend!”
With great difficulty, Judy kept her own counsel. Neither her father nor her brother understood John the way she did. In their position, she’d probably feel differently, but that didn’t change her opinion of him, her love for him.
“Does he do this sort of thing often?” David asked, as he sliced his ham.
Judy blinked, not understanding.
“Were there other women on the island?” he elaborated.
“A few. But I was the only one he…” She paused and searched for the right word.
“You were the only woman he blackmailed into coming?” her father finished for her.
“The only one he sent for,” Judy corrected calmly.
“That man is a menace to society,” Charles muttered angrily as he sipped his coffee.
Judy couldn’t tolerate their insults any longer. She sighed and shook her head. “I hate to disappoint you both, but John McFarland is kind and good. He treated me with respect the entire time I was on the island.”
“He held you like a prisoner of war.”
“He released me when I asked,” she told them, stretching the truth only a bit.
“He did?”
“Of course.” She dabbed the corner of her mouth with her napkin, ignoring the way both men were staring at her.
“He held you for three months, Judy,” David said, watching her keenly. “You mean to say in all that time you never asked to leave?”
“That’s right.”
Again father and son exchanged looks.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” she told them lamely. “The island is a tropical paradise. I didn’t think of asking to leave until…until the end.”
The dining room grew silent.
Her father hugged Judy before she left. “It’s good to have you home, Beauty.”
“It’s good to be home, Dad.”
In her bedroom, Judy ran her fingers over the brocade-covered headboard and experienced none of the homecoming sensations she’d expected. She loved this room; it was part of her youth, part of her existence before she’d met John McFarland.
Sitting on her bed, Judy felt a poignant sense of loss. She’d changed on the island. Because of John, she’d learned what it was to be a woman and no matter how much she might have wished otherwise, she couldn’t go back to being the frightened girl who’d left New York.
A letdown was only natural, Judy tried to reason with herself. When she’d been on the island, home had seemed ideal. Everything was perfect in New York. There were no problems, no difficulties, no heartache. To her dismay, she’d discovered that reality falls far short of memory….
A polite knock at the door diverted her attention from her troubled thoughts. “Come in.”
Marie Ashley, David’s fiancée, walked into the room. “Are you ready?”
“I’ve been ready for weeks,” Judy said, rising from the bed. She slipped on a pair of comfortable shoes. “I plan to shop till I drop.”
“Me, too,” Marie said, her eyes shining. “David and I need so many things. Oh, Judy, we’re going to be so happy.” She hugged her arms around her middle and sighed with ecstasy. “Did he tell you that I broke into tears when he proposed? I couldn’t even answer him. Poor David, I’m sure he didn’t know what to make of me, blubbering and carrying on like that.”
“I imagine he got the message when you threw your arms around his neck and started kissing him.”
Marie’s hands flew to her hips. “He told you!”
“Ten times the first day I was home,” Judy told her cheerfully. “I don’t know who’s more excited, you or my brother.”
“Me,” Marie said unequivocally.
Laughing, they hurried down the stairs to the sports car Marie had parked out front.
The day was a busy one. True to their word, both women shopped until their feet ached and they couldn’t c
arry another package. They ended up back at the Lovin family home, bringing take-out Chinese food for dinner.
Judy deposited her shopping bags in the polished entryway. “Bently,” she called, “we’re home.”
A quick grin cracked the butler’s stiff facade as he regarded the pair of them. He already treated Marie like a family member. “Several wedding gifts arrived this afternoon,” he informed them primly.
“Here?” Marie asked, surprised.
“I can assure you, Miss Ashley, I did not haul them from your family’s home.”
“Where are they, Bently?” Judy asked, sharing a smile with Marie.
“In the library.”
“Come on,” Marie said eagerly, “let’s go check out the loot.”
Judy followed her soon-to-be sister-in-law into the book-lined room.
“I took the liberty of unwrapping them for you,” Bently said.
Judy and Marie paused in the doorway and gasped at the rich display of paintings and sculptures. Judy’s hand flew to her heart. Each piece was lovingly familiar; they were the things her father had sold in a desperate attempt to save the shipping line. The ones he’d surrendered piece by piece, prolonging the agony.
“All this?” Marie breathed. “Who? Who would possibly give us so much?”
Judy knew the answer even before Bently spoke.
“The card says John McFarland.”
Judy’s eyes drifted shut. John, her John.
“Why, he’s the man—” Marie stopped short. “Judy?” Her voice was low and hesitant. “Are you all right?”
Judy opened her eyes. “Of course. Why shouldn’t I be?”
“You look like you’re about to faint.”
“It’s from lack of nourishment,” Judy explained, her voice shaking. “You dragged me through half the department stores in Manhattan and didn’t feed me lunch. What do you expect?”
“I want you to tell me everything. Now sit down.”
Judy did because she wasn’t convinced she could remain upright for much longer.
“Bently, bring us some coffee, please.”
“Right away, Miss Ashley.”
Despite her misery, Judy smiled, finding a new respect for her brother’s fiancée. “I swear, within a year you’ll be the one running the family business.”
“I’ll have my hands full managing David,” Marie returned matter-of-factly.
The coffee arrived and Marie poured, handing Judy the first cup. “You don’t need to say much,” she began. “It’s obvious to me that you love him.”
Judy dropped her gaze. “I do. Unfortunately, my family hates him. They think he’s some kind of monster.”
“But you know better?”
“I do, Marie. He frightened me in the beginning—he can be terrifying. Believe me, I know he’s arrogant and stubborn, but as the weeks passed, I discovered that underneath he’s a man like every other man. One with hurts and doubts and fears. I learned how kind and generous he can be.”
“But, Judy, he forced you to live on that island.”
“It’s beautiful there. Paradise.”
“David and your father thought he was mistreating you.”
“Never. Not intentionally. Once I had a riding accident—my fault, actually, although John seemed to blame himself and—”
Marie gasped.
“I didn’t let my family know,” Judy said. “They would only have worried and I couldn’t see any point in increasing their anxiety.”
“What happened?”
“I fell—it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that John was so wonderful to me. I’ve never seen anyone more concerned. He spent hours taking care of me. I think he slept in my room for at least two nights. Every time I woke up, he was there. I…I didn’t know any man could be so gentle.”
Marie smiled faintly. “What are you planning to do now?”
Judy held the coffee cup with both hands. “I…don’t know.”
“Do you want to go back to the island?”
Judy hung her head and whispered, “Yes. Nothing’s the same without John. I loved St. Steven’s, but more importantly I love John.”
“Oh, Judy, your father…”
“I know.” She managed to keep her voice steady. “I think he’d rather die than see me go back to the island. John will always be the beast in his eyes.”
“Give him time,” Marie suggested. “Look what happened with David and me.”
Judy wasn’t sure she understood. “I know David hasn’t seen anyone but you for a couple of years.”
“Five years, Judy. I waited five long years for that man.”
Judy had no idea the romance between them had been going on all that time.
“Because of the financial problems with the business, David told me it could be years before he’d be in a position to marry me or anyone. He said it was useless for me to wait.”
“How painful for you.”
“Oh, it gets worse. He broke off our relationship and suggested I marry someone else. When I refused, he insisted I start seeing other men. He made a point of introducing me to his friends and when that didn’t work…” Her eyes were dull with pain.
“What happened?”
“I wouldn’t give up on him. I loved him too much. If he didn’t want to marry me, then I wasn’t getting married. There’s never been anyone else for me. Only David.”
“What did he do?”
Marie’s smile revealed a great sadness. “He said some cruel things in an effort to keep me from what he called wasting my life.”
Judy recalled her last night on the island and the horrible things John had said to her. He loved her; she was sure of it. But he’d never asked her to stay, never told her he loved her. Still, she knew he did….
“Of course, all his insults didn’t work,” Marie continued. “I knew what he was doing. But he couldn’t have gotten rid of me to save his soul.”
“I take it he tried.”
Marie’s mouth quivered. “Oh, yes, for months. Inventive schemes, too, I might add, but I’m more stubborn than he took into account.”
Judy gripped her friend’s hand. “I hope he knows how lucky he is.”
“Are you kidding? I plan to remind him every day for the next fifty years. Now,” she said, taking a huge breath, “it’s your turn, Judy Lovin, to prove to a man that you mean business.”
Judy’s gaze rested on their clasped hands. “The night before I left the island, I found John…drinking. He told me he was glad to see me go.”
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Right. He didn’t mean it.”
“I know. He was hurting.”
Marie smiled. “The guilt’s probably driving him crazy about now.”
Judy studied her brother’s fiancée. “What makes you say that?”
Marie gestured toward the array of wedding gifts that filled the library. “Look around you.”
“But—”
“No buts, girl,” Marie interrupted. “You’re going back to the island. And when you do he’ll be so happy to see you there won’t be a single doubt.”
Judy went pale.
“It’s what you want, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but Father and David.
“Just who are you planning to spend the rest of your life with, anyway? Do you really believe they’ll appreciate your sacrifice? Do you think my family was overjoyed with me hanging around year after year?” Marie asked. “Good grief, no! They were convinced that unless I married David, I was going to become a permanent fixture at the old homestead.”
Judy laughed, despite her misery.
“My dad was practically bringing home strangers off the street to introduce to me. I’m telling you, between David and my father, I turned down two neurosurgeons, a dentist, three attorneys and a construction tycoon.”
The thought was so ridiculous that Judy couldn’t stop laughing. Soon Marie joi
ned her and they kept it up until their sides hurt and tears rolled down their faces.
That one talk with her future sister-in-law gave Judy all the fortitude she needed to face an army of Charles Lovins. She chose her moment well—the reception following David and Marie’s wedding.
“Father,” she said, standing beside him in the receiving line. “I have something to tell you.”
He shook hands with a family friend before turning to his daughter. “Yes, Beauty?”
“I love John McFarland.”
She expected a bellow of outrage, anger…something other than his acceptance and love. “I suspected as much. Are you going back to him?”
Tears brimmed in Judy’s eyes. “Yes.”
“When?” His own voice sounded choked.
“Soon.”
“He’ll marry you?”
Judy chuckled and winked at her sister-in-law. “He’d better.”
Charles Lovin arched his eyebrows. “Why’s that?”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. Marie and I have a bet on which one of us is going to present you with your first grandchild.”
The older man’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “Then what are you doing sticking around here?” He hugged her fiercely. “Be very, very happy.”
“I know I will. You’ll come visit?”
“If he’ll allow it.”
Her arms tightened around him. “He will, I promise.”
The launch slowed to a crawl as it approached the dock of St. Steven’s Island. Two formidable security guards were waiting to intercept the unannounced intruders.
“Ms. Lovin?”
“Hello, Wilson,” Judy said, handing him her luggage. “Is Mr. McFarland available?”
The guard looked uncertain. “I believe he is. Does he know you’re coming?”
“No.”
He winced at that, but didn’t hesitate to help her climb out of the boat.
“Will you see to it that my things are delivered to my room?” Judy asked.
“Right away.”
“Thank you, Wilson.”
By the time Judy arrived at the house, there was a small army of McFarland employees following her, all talking excitedly.
Sam arrived, breathless from the stables. “Hot dog,” he cried and slapped his knee. “It’s about time you got here.”