“You want me to decide?”
“Feel free.” He did everything else, why not this?
“I’d appreciate it if you showed a little more enthusiasm. We’ve been planning this trip for years.”
“We?” That was almost enough to make her laugh. “You were the one who wanted to see the Panama Canal, not me.”
It was as though he hadn’t heard her. “Why do you always leave everything to me?”
It amazed her that he didn’t know. She wondered if her husband had always been obtuse.
“I’m trying to arrange the vacation of our lives,” he muttered impatiently, “and you’re fighting me every step of the way.”
“I’m not fighting you.”
“Then the least you can do is show a little enthusiasm,” he snapped.
She pinched her lips together to keep from arguing. Jerry was right. This cruise meant a great deal to him. He’d talked of little else for weeks—no, months. Ever since it was decided the twins would move back with their father.
“I’d like to spend Christmas with Seth and the children.” The best way to handle discord, Sharon had learned early on in their relationship, was to change the subject. And of late it was the only way they could remain civil with each other, bouncing like a Ping-Pong ball from one subject to the next.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?” she demanded defiantly. He had selfishly insisted on the cruise he wanted. All she cared about was sharing the holidays with her two precious grandchildren. “Clay and Neal won’t be home and—”
“The twins are only now adjusting to life with Seth. I don’t think it’d be a good idea for us to interfere.”
“I’m not going to interfere!” She reached for the brush and jerked it through the long, thick tresses. Tugging at the tangles brought unexpected tears to her eyes. She’d been married to Jerry all these years. Had loved him, borne his children, kept his home. Yet the man she’d married, the man she’d spent the last forty years of her life loving, didn’t know her. Not really.
It hadn’t been easy for her to hand her grandchildren back to their father. Jerry didn’t seem to realize or appreciate what it had cost her to send the twins home with Seth. The emptiness in her life had never been more pronounced.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Jerry insisted.
The hot surge of anger that assaulted her came as a surprise. She fought down the urge to throw the brush and shout. Her fingers tightened around the handle until her hand ached. Sharon wasn’t sure what would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung at precisely that moment.
“I’ll get it.” Grateful for the intrusion, she walked over to the bedstand. “Hello,” she greeted as if her world were in perfect order, when it felt as if the edges had crumpled beyond repair.
“Grandma, it’s Jason.”
“Jason.” Sharon’s heart gladdened instantly. She routinely talked to the twins once a week. She worried about them. Worried that they missed her and would have a difficult time adjusting to their new lives in Seattle. “How are you, sweetheart?”
“I miss you.”
She bit down on her lower lip at the swell of tenderness she experienced for her grandson. “I miss you, too. How’s everything?”
“Okay. You know Mrs. Hampston quit, don’t you?”
Jason asked this with glee, as if he were reporting a good grade on a school project. Sharon had heard that bit of unfortunate news a couple of weeks earlier. She realized the kids weren’t thrilled with Mrs. Hampston, but Seth was fortunate to have found someone dependable. Especially in light of what had happened with the other housekeepers.
“Judd and I didn’t like her.”
“Has your father hired a replacement?” Sharon could hear background noise and suspected Judd was demanding the phone. It was his turn to talk.
The sounds of a scuffle ensued. “Jason! Judd!” It did her little good to shout into the mouthpiece. A couple of minutes passed before Seth came on the line.
“Sharon, are you still there?”
“What’s going on?”
He apparently thought she was asking about the twins. “Sorry, the kids were squabbling—”
“I mean with the housekeeper.”
“Not to worry, I’ve got someone new.”
Sharon was relieved. “That’s good.”
“No need to concern yourself. Everything’s coming along nicely. No more mishaps, this one fits right in.”
“I’m glad to hear it, but do you need—” She stopped herself in time from asking if he needed her. She had decided that when the twins moved back to Seattle, she’d wouldn’t rush to the rescue the minute something went awry.
“Everything’s fine, you don’t need to worry. Mrs. Miracle stepped in as if she’d been with me from the beginning.”
“Mrs. Miracle?”
“Her name’s actually Merkle, but the kids call her Mrs. Miracle.”
“Does she know about Jason’s—” Again she stopped herself from speaking. She wasn’t the one responsible for the twins any longer. Matters were well in hand with Seth, and he’d see to it that the children’s needs were met. Then she cast a glance toward Jerry and sat up a bit straighter. It irritated her that he would tell her she couldn’t see the children over Christmas. “Have you made any plans for the holidays, Seth?”
“Not yet. If you’re thinking of paying a visit, the kids and I would love it.”
“You’re sure?” The relief was evident in her voice. She noticed Jerry glancing her way, but she ignored him.
“Positive. Judd and Jason would be thrilled. They’re involved in the church Christmas pageant and would love it if you and Jerry could be there to see them. I won’t say anything to the kids, of course, not until your plans are definite, but we’d love to have you.”
Even from where she was standing, Sharon could see her husband’s shoulders tense.
Hearing Seth’s enthusiasm, Sharon felt the faint stirring of her own. It wouldn’t be Christmas without Judd and Jason. Despite Jerry’s protests, she fully intended to spend the holidays with her grandchildren. Their sons, Clay and Neal, had both made other plans and wouldn’t be home. Sharon could see no reason to spend the day alone. Christmas was an empty holiday without children; she and Jerry hadn’t celebrated the season alone in years. Only when the boys or the grandchildren were with them had they bought each other presents or done much of anything. The thought of remaining in California when she could be with her precious grandchildren was intolerable.
“I’ll make the arrangements, then, as soon as I can,” she said into the phone.
“Wonderful.”
They must have talked ten minutes more before she replaced the telephone receiver. She released a soft sigh of satisfaction, but not because she’d decided to ignore her husband’s wishes. If the truth be known, she’d rather not defy Jerry. But it would take a lot more than her husband to stand between her and her grandchildren, no matter how many years they’d been married.
“I wish you hadn’t said anything about Christmas,” Jerry said, his words stiff and tight with anger.
“Why? It’s time to make the flight arrangements. Past time, really.”
“I told you that I didn’t think it was a good idea to visit the kids.”
“And I disagree. I miss them. They’re as much a part of me as my own children.” She stopped short of reminding him that Judd and Jason felt as much like her own children as the ones she’d borne herself. Surely he could understand that.
“I want you to call Seth back and tell him—”
“I most certainly will not!” Sharon cried, too outraged even to let him finish. With her housecoat flowing behind her like the train of a wedding dress, she swept out of the bedroom.
She stood in the kitchen and looked around her, eyes narrowing at the sight. Jerry had cooked his own breakfast all right, and he’d used every frying pan in the house to do it. Her spotlessly clean kitchen resembl
ed a construction site. The travel brochures for the Panama cruise littered the round oak table.
Jerry followed her, his face red and his eyes hot. She rarely went against her husband, but she was standing her ground now. He walked toward the phone.
“Who are you phoning?”
“Seth.” He lifted the receiver from the hook.
“If you call Seth, I’ll refuse to take that ridiculous cruise with you.”
Jerry’s eyes widened with shock. “Ridiculous cruise?”
“It was never my idea to sail through the Panama Canal. I wanted to go to Hong Kong, remember?”
He cringed as though the very idea were repugnant to him. They glared at each other, each waiting for the other to capitulate. Slowly Jerry hung up the phone. “Maybe I should take that cruise by myself, then,” he muttered.
She stiffened. “Maybe you should.”
His gaze narrowed as he filled his coffee cup and stalked out of the kitchen. At first Sharon was tempted to call after him, explain how much it meant for her to visit the grandchildren; but she said nothing. Jerry didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t understand. Or care to.
She sagged onto a kitchen chair. It was difficult to know when their relationship had gone wrong. She loved her husband, but she couldn’t imagine spending the rest of her life with him. Not with things the way they currently were. She couldn’t believe this was happening. It would take a miracle to heal her marriage.
Chapter 7
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up.
—Mrs. Miracle
Seth’s hand lingered on the telephone. Something was wrong with Sharon. He knew his mother-in-law, could sense her uneasiness, her unhappiness. He heard it in the telltale inflection in her voice, the hesitation, the weariness. He wished he knew what he could do to help, or if that were even possible. He felt close to his in-laws. Close and grateful, as well he should.
During his most recent visit to California, when he’d driven down to move the twins back with him, he’d noticed something then. Sharon had laughed a little too loudly, sounded a shade too enthusiastic. Not about the twins leaving; that had been difficult on everyone. But about life in general. It wasn’t like her.
His father-in-law, however, had grown quiet, introspective. Noncommunicative. He’d seemed prone to hide his face in a book. There’d been some talk about the Palmers taking a cruise, but since then he hadn’t heard anything more about this long-awaited vacation.
Seth had attributed their odd behavior to the stress of his taking the children. But whatever the reason, it didn’t seem to have gone away. The tension was as thick as tar.
Not until he was puttering around inside the garage while the twins helped Mrs. Merkle with dinner did he realize that he hadn’t spoken to Jerry, and neither had the twins. His father-in-law generally made a practice of speaking briefly with the twins each week. Seth understood that the kids’ grandfather didn’t like talking on a phone, but he got a kick out of chatting with his two grandchildren. Not so this Sunday.
Seth reached for the toaster. It had stopped working a month or so earlier, when Mrs. Hamilton had ruled the roost. He’d promised to take a look at it, but this was the first chance he’d had. Not that he held out much hope of repairing it. It would probably save a lot of time and effort if he were to pop into the car and buy a new one. And he might have, if fixing it hadn’t afforded him the opportunity to piddle around the garage and enjoy the solitude.
In another hour the Seahawk football game would be televised, and the kids would be crawling all over him. The toaster offered him the perfect excuse to spend a few peaceful moments alone.
For a long time, Seth had avoided opportunities to think. Then, just when he’d felt it was no longer necessary to restrain his thoughts from dwelling on his dead wife, the children had returned. Every now and again one of the twins would glance up at him and it was like looking into Pamela’s eyes, seeing his wife smile again. He might as well have been hit from behind. The pain was back, ever-present. Ever reminding him of all that he’d lost.
He sought his own company this afternoon for another reason, however. He’d seen her in church that morning.
Her.
He didn’t know her name. A face. A friendly, pretty face, with wide, hauntingly beautiful eyes that seemed to reach out and touch him. She’d been sitting toward the back of the church, hidden behind a marble column, looking as fresh and lovely as a bouquet of springtime flowers.
He should have walked over and introduced himself then and there and been done with it. Instead he’d steered the kids out of the church as fast as he could without being obvious. Later he’d wanted to kick himself. He’d acted like a schoolboy, and all over a woman. One whose name he’d been too shy to ask.
She worked at the travel agency next to the Safeway store, that much he knew. He should, since he frequently invented excuses to stop off at the grocery on his way home from the office. Just on the off chance he might see her. Naturally he tried not to be obvious about it, but he couldn’t help wondering if she’d noticed him.
He’d been out of the dating scene for so long, he wasn’t sure how to go about meeting a woman. Not without someone introducing him. The last time he’d walked up to a woman cold turkey and struck up a conversation, he’d been in high school.
He hadn’t minded making a fool of himself back then, but it bothered the hell out of him now. The fact he was interested said a lot. Perhaps he was ready to meet someone. All he had to figure out was how to go about it.
Following the near panic attack in church that morning, Seth was no longer sure of anything. He’d become so disgusted with himself that the only clear option was to drop the issue entirely. It encouraged him that he found himself attracted to another woman. It was progress, he supposed, but he wasn’t in the place where he felt comfortable seeking her out.
She did intrigue him, however, Seth admitted as he dismantled the bottom of the toaster. Crumbs fell onto his workbench, and he brushed them aside. But there were plenty of attractive women around. If that was what appealed to him, all he had to do was look around the office. There were any number of eligible, good-looking women in search of a meaningful relationship there.
Why her? Why this travel agent?
Why now?
Seth didn’t have the answers to those questions any more than he knew what was wrong with the toaster.
The look in her eyes, he decided. Yes, she was attractive, and even from a distance he could see that her eyes were a pretty shade of blue. Alpine blue, if he were to give the color a name. Deep, dark, intense. It was the intense part that spoke to him. In the fathomless depths he saw her pain. Naturally he could be seeing something that wasn’t there, a reflection off the window, but he didn’t think so. The pain was what he recognized because it was a reflection of his own. Whoever this woman was, whatever had happened in her life, she’d suffered. The same way he’d suffered. He felt her hurt, realized in those brief seconds when their eyes had held that her anguish lay just below the surface the way his did.
Then, too, he could be imagining it all. He wasn’t a psychologist. Nor had he done any counseling. But he’d walked that same rut-filled pathway himself, and he recognized the pitfalls.
So they attended the same church. Great. It was a beginning. It made matters a bit easier. Now all he needed to do was develop a few more of the social graces, like learning to say his name without stuttering or stumbling over his own two feet.
Hey, introducing himself didn’t sound like such a bad idea, if it didn’t take him five years or more. But for now he was content to let matters be. He wasn’t unhappy. His life had meaning. If he wanted to risk his heart again, it wouldn’t be anytime soon.
“Daddy.” Judd stepped inside the garage. “The football game’s going to start.”
“I’ll be inside in just a minute.”
“Okay.” But Judd lingered. Not that it was unusual. His son enjoyed watching him work. Often Seth inv
ented a project that required Judd’s or Jason’s help. Both had already proved themselves to be worthy nail pounders.
“You know what Mrs. Miracle said?”
Seth didn’t have a clue. “What?”
“She said we should take a vacation.”
Seth hesitated. “A vacation?”
“Yup. During spring break. When’s that?”
“March or April.” He’d need to check the school calendar. It was an odd comment for the housekeeper to make, although she’d made a habit of saying some pretty unusual things. Just the other night she’d gotten a chuckle out of him. She’d said something about a woodpecker owing his success to his head and not just his pecker. He chuckled anew.
“Are we going on vacation?”
He had plenty of vacation time due him, and it sounded like a fun thing to do. “I’ll think about it.” He brushed the bread crumbs from his hands and ruffled his son’s hair affectionately. “First let’s go see the Seahawks whop the Broncos.”
“Yeah.” Judd thrust his fist into the air.
Smiling to himself, Seth walked from the garage into the kitchen.
Mrs. Merkle was busy, Jason at her side, helping her prepare dinner—“helping” being the operative word. What he saw set his mouth to watering. The woman cooked like a dream.
“I’m making pie,” Jason proclaimed proudly. “From scratch.”
“Great.” He beamed Mrs. Miracle an appreciative smile. Apple pie was his personal favorite.
The housekeeper skillfully ran the sharp edge of the knife around the Granny Smith apple. The peeling twisted and curled away from the blade like a tight ringlet. “I always said that a good cook starts from scratch and keeps on scratching.”
Seth grinned, acknowledging her wit. “Judd and I are about to watch the football game.”
“Are we going on vacation?” The same question, this time from Jason.
“I’m thinking about it.”
“There’s a travel agency,” the housekeeper commented, her eye on the apple. “Right next to the Safeway store—you know the one I mean, don’t you? There’s that nice young lady who owns it. The same one who was in church this morning with Harriett Foster’s niece. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to help you plan a trip with the children.”