Nicki looks sick and covers her mouth. “Oh, God.”
“I’ll spare you the details.”
“Thanks, but do you think Remy’s going to keep at it until she can be with your dad?”
“That’s what I’m thinking.”
“Would a judge uphold the will if your mom was fighting it?”
“I think so. I stayed up late and read about a lot of similar cases online. If there’s a will, the hospitals have to honor it or pay a kick-ass settlement when they get sued.”
“Wow. This is a lot to process!” Nicki sits up and faces me on the couch. “Let’s move on to something a bit cheerier, shall we? What’s the deal with you and Luke?”
I look at her with her eyebrows raised expectantly. “There’s no deal, he’s helping me with Remy.”
“Uh, that’s not the feeling I got last night.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when he drove me home he asked how long you and Ryan have been going out. He tried to make it sound like he was just making conversation, but it’s so obvious the guy is hot for you, and I was just wondering if it’s mutual.”
My cheeks redden. “He doesn’t, and it isn’t. But …”
“But?”
I sigh. I so didn’t want to go here, not after all of the complaining I’ve done about Samantha. “Okay, if I’m being completely honest, I have been kinda thinking about him a lot. I keep telling myself it was just because he’s helping me with Remy, but …”
“But?”
“But he sends shivers up my spine every time he touches me.” I bury my face in my hands. “I’m really, really confused.”
Nicki laughs and I look up. She gives me a sly smile and an I-knew-it look. “The really confusing thing is why your boyfriend hangs around with a girl who’s made it abundantly clear she’s in love with him. If Ryan is serious about you, he should’ve cut Samantha loose a long time ago. As it is, he’s leading her on, and frankly, it’s kinda cruel.”
“Actually, Samantha hooked up with a Land of Enchantment exchange student from France yesterday.” The squirmy feeling I got when Ryan tried to shoot down Samantha’s budding romance with Christophe returns.
Nicki scoffs. “That doesn’t change the fact that Ryan’s been a complete dickhead about the whole thing.”
I nod. “You’re right, and I hate to admit it, but it was pretty obvious he wasn’t happy about her hooking up.” My shoulders slump. “Seriously, you should’ve seen him—he kept trying to talk her out of it and warning her about the evils of France.”
Nicki’s lip curls up. “See, this is what I’m talking about! It’s beyond ridiculous to put up with that crap.”
“To be fair, I don’t think he truly gets why it’s a problem, and he tried really hard to make things up to me the other night. He brought over movies and Chinese, and yesterday he told me he got us dinner reservations at the White Mountain Hotel to celebrate our one-month anniversary tonight. I know he cares, and I care about him too. It’s just that, no matter what, Samantha is hovering all the time.”
“And there’s Luke.”
I hang my head.
“Look,” Nicki continues. “I’m not saying Ryan doesn’t care; obviously he chose you over Samantha. But do you really need a guy who comes with his own groupie? Why get all angsty about it if there’s someone else who sends shivers down your spine?”
“But how do I know what I’m feeling for Luke isn’t just a result of the empath stuff?”
Nicki hunches her shoulders. “Huh?”
“His family, they’re empaths—you know, they can take away your pain, make you feel better just with a touch.”
Nicki smiles and holds out her hand. “Well, ghost boy held this hand last night, and there were no shivers running up and down my spine. Don’t get me wrong—he’s totally cute, and I definitely felt more relaxed every time he touched me, but there were no shivers, not even a tiny goose bump. Well, maybe there were some goose bumps after Remy appeared, but they had nothing to do with Luke.”
I sink back into the couch cushions and stare at the ceiling. “Yeah, well, Luke has a groupie too—Ari. She’s totally in love with him, and there’s no way I could go out with him even if I wanted to—which I’m not saying I do—because I can’t go against the girlfriend code.”
Nicki blows a raspberry. “You’ve known Ari all of a week; the code does not apply.”
“It does! Ari’s told me how much she likes him—I can’t pull a Samantha on her.”
“Stop hanging around with Ari and it won’t be an issue! Seriously, the girl’s a head case. You should’ve seen her glaring at me the last chorus practice. If you want to invoke the girlfriend code, then how about you show some loyalty to your best friend—moi—and dump her princess ass!”
“I know you two don’t see eye to eye, but I do like her. She went out of her way to make sure Ryan and I would be working together, and she even got Samantha assigned to her favorite ride in the park—all just because I asked her to. And then there’s the spa date she made for the two of us next week.” I wasn’t planning on mentioning that to Nicki, but I feel like I have to explain why I can’t just dump Ari.
Nicki rolls her eyes. “Well, then we have no choice but to send a letter to the pope and have her nominated for sainthood. I can see it now—Ari Roy, patron saint of amusement parks and French manicures.”
“Ha, ha. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and she’s just trying to be nice. Which is exactly why nothing is ever going to happen with Luke and me.”
“Whatever, it’s your funeral.”
Suddenly a cell phone starts playing, but I don’t recognize the ring tone. I look at Nicki. “Is that you?”
She shakes her head. “It sounds like it’s under us.”
We both jump up, and Fergus scrambles away. I lift a couch cushion and Nicki reaches for the phone. She looks at the call number and rolls her eyes again. “Speak of the devil—Ari’s calling.”
“That must be Luke’s. Don’t answer it; I don’t want her to know he was here!”
Nicki waves a hand dismissively at me and flips open the phone. “Hello?” she says sweetly.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
“This is Nicki, Luke left his phone at my house last night.”
I stare at her bug-eyed.
“But if I see him before you do, I’ll tell him you called, okay?” she chirps. “Later.” She shuts the phone and laughs.
“What did you do that for?”
She shrugs. “Well, since you don’t want to hurt her feelings, I figured it would be better if she thought Luke was at my house instead of yours. She already hates me, so what the hell?”
“Or, you could’ve just not answered it!”
“What fun would that have been?” She waves the phone in front of me. “So it looks like you’ll have to go to Luke’s to return this.”
I snatch it out of her hands. “Yeah, maybe, I guess.”
She starts making kissing noises and I swat her on the arm. “Whether you like it or not, I have a boyfriend, so there won’t be any kissing.”
She narrows her eyes. “But you want to, you know you do.”
I clench my jaw and sigh. “I’m going to my anniversary dinner tonight!”
“A restaurant is the perfect place to break up and avoid a scene.”
“I’m not breaking up with him!”
Nicki shakes her head and looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Not five minutes ago you admitted he was up in arms about Samantha starting to see some guy—what does that tell you?”
“That maybe he was just looking out for Samantha? I can kind of see why he might be worried about her going out with a stranger from another country, and I’m thinking that isn’t grounds to break up with him.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to stay with him either.” She smiles and wiggles her eyebrows up and down. “Anyway, Luke is probably missing his phone by now. Why don’t I get my car and I’ll drive you over to
his house.” She smacks her lips.
I want to say no, but I also want to talk to Luke about what our next step will be. And yes, I also just want to see him. “Fine, but the only kissing I’ll be doing today will be with Ryan!”
“Oh my God! That’s great!” Luke gushes.
I climb the steps of the gazebo in his backyard, wishing my news was great. “Except the will says, ‘irreversible condition with no hope for recovery,’ and my mom hasn’t given up hope, even if the doctors have. I’m pretty sure I can take the will to our lawyer, but if my mom doesn’t change her mind, what do I do, take her to court?”
I lower myself onto the bench seat, and Luke looks at me with such sadness in his eyes. He sits down next to me and our legs touch. I catch my breath and shout One-month anniversary in my head. He holds out his hand and even though I know I shouldn’t, I take it and he laces his fingers through mine.
Shivers.
“I talked to Nona about your mom.”
“And?”
“Nona told her she’s seen Remy before—she described her for your mom. She said your mom didn’t seem too surprised.”
I nod. “My mom confessed she thought she’d heard Remy, and that a part of her has always known Remy was still around. But now that things are getting out in the open, why won’t she take the next step?”
“Because she loves him,” Luke says. “She just needs to realize that letting him go doesn’t change that.”
“What happened to your parents?” I ask, and immediately feel like I’ve overstepped my boundaries. I look at him and see his brow furrow. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”
“It’s okay. They died when Kayla and I were little— kayaking accident on the river.”
That damn river. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t remember a lot about them.”
“I don’t remember a lot about my dad either—just bits and pieces of things. I go and visit him all the time, but I’ve realized it’s like visiting anyone at the nursing home—he’s just another patient for me to bring Fergus to.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe I just said that, but I think it’s true. Maybe that’s why it’s easier for me to imagine letting him go?” I bite my lip. “God, what’s wrong with me?”
I turn to Luke to see if he’ll think I’m a monster, but his eyes are soft and sympathetic. “Maybe seeing all of the other people in the home has given you perspective—you can tell the living from the dead.”
“Maybe.”
“Does your boyfriend know about Remy?”
His question catches me off guard. “I—I tried to tell him, but … no.”
I breathe in the lilac-scented air. I feel the pressure of Luke’s hand in mine, and I feel more confused than ever. “Ari called your phone this morning,” I say, changing the subject. “Nicki answered it; she told Ari you left it at her house.”
Luke groans. “I guess that’s better than her knowing it was at yours.”
“Why?”
“She apparently drove by my house that morning you came over and saw you. She said she asked you about it. I tried to be as vague as possible about the whole thing, because I didn’t know what you told her, but it was obvious she was upset.”
“I lied and told her I was here to ask Nona about my future with Ryan.” Yes, think about a future with Ryan, I tell myself—instead of thinking about kissing Luke, who’s lacing and unlacing his fingers with mine. I have absolutely no business sitting this close to him and holding his hand, but I can’t make myself let go.
“Do you have a future with him?”
My stomach flips. “What do you mean?” I chance a sideways look at him and just about die seeing his dark blue eyes locked on mine.
“I mean, I’d kind of like it if you didn’t.”
“I don’t know,” I spit out as my heart pounds madly.
“Does he know you like I do?” he whispers.
He leans in and I feel his breath on my cheek. I turn to face him.
“And what do you know?” I whisper, my heart about to burst.
“Everything.”
Our lips touch, and I feel like I’m floating. I know I should pull away, but God help me, I kiss him back instead.
FOURTEEN
I stand in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom. Ryan will be here any minute. I turn in a circle and decide I’ll keep the strapless blue dress on even if it’s still a little too chilly for it.
Not that dressing up for Ryan makes up for the fact that Luke Amador kissed me earlier today—and that I kissed him back.
I scowl at my reflection. “You are a skanky ho.”
I picture an announcer on one of those white-trash talk shows saying, “Megan Sones is here today to tell her boyfriend she cheated on him with her psychic love toy.”
But it was just one kiss—one wonderful kiss—followed by many mentions of said boyfriend.
I plop down on my bed and wish I could be stronger, because liking two guys at the same time is just asking for an appearance on one of those shows, no doubt with Samantha and Ari waiting in the wings, ready to take me on in a bra-baring catfight.
I shake my head and try to concentrate on the fact that Ryan is taking me, not Samantha, to a swanky restaurant. Try to be happy and forget about the kiss.
I reach up and touch my lips.
That one electric kiss.
The doorbell rings, and Fergus barks.
“I’ll get it,” Mom calls out.
I rush over to my mirror again, looking for signs of guilt showing on my face. Remy appears beside me, her head hanging down.
“It’s too late,” she says sorrowfully.
“Yeah, you can’t take back kisses,” I reply, knowing full well Remy isn’t talking about Luke.
She looks up at my reflections and smiles. “Blue dress.” She pulls at the hem of her own dress and twirls around.
“Yeah. Love to stay and chat, but I’ve got a date and a lot of sucking up to do, because I was a bad girl today.”
“She tried to use an apple,” Remy says, pausing midtwirl and shaking her head, “but now they just use knives. I guess it works better that way.” She reaches her hand toward mine, but I pull it out of her reach and jump back.
“Oh, no,” I say, holding my hands up over my head. “We’ve already traveled this particular nightmare of a road before, and I really don’t think I need to see any more dead girls or knives, okay?” I say, my voice cracking.
Remy nods. “Apples are nicer.”
I stare at her bug-eyed as I back through my bedroom door. “Yeah, apples. Um, I’m gonna go now, okay?”
I run down the hall, and then look over my shoulder. I’m enormously relieved to see she hasn’t followed me. I take a deep breath at the top of the stairs to compose myself, and then head down.
“Don’t you look nice,” Mom says quietly from the couch. I notice her eyes are red rimmed and she’s looking worn-out. I assume she’s been thinking about Dad and Remy, but I’m not getting any indication of which way she’s leaning.
“Yeah, wow! Very nice,” Ryan adds, looking me up and down. He’s wearing a white button-down and a blue blazer, looking utterly adorable. My stomach flips nervously with guilt.
“Thanks,” I say, feeling like a total creep. I turn to Mom. “Um, we’ll be at the Ledges Dining Room at the White Mountain Hotel.”
“The Ledges? Is this a special occasion?”
Ryan nods. “Yeah, it’s our one-month anniversary today.”
Why did I have to kiss Luke today of all days?
The phone rings and I rush to get it, glad for the interruption. I look at the caller ID and frown. “It’s the nursing home.”
Mom jumps up and holds her hand out to me. “I asked them to call me.” She takes a deep breath and clicks the talk button. She listens for a few seconds with her lips pursed. “I see,” she says. She covers the mouthpiece with her hand. “You two have fun.” She waves us away and heads into the kitchen.
“Ready?” Ryan asks.
I look at Mom standing slumped in the kitchen and try to hear what she’s saying, but then Remy floats down the stairs talking about apples again and I can’t make anything out.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Ryan looks up from his menu with a smile. “By the way, I got a bottle of champagne for later.”
“How did you manage to get that?” I ask, hating how every nice thing he’s done this evening is just making me feel more and more guilty.
First he gave me his jacket for the car ride because I didn’t think to bring a sweater, then he opened the car door for me, held my hand in the parking lot, and pulled my chair out for me.
“Steven got it for us.”
Steven—Samantha’s brother. Why does everything circle back to her? Of course, Samantha’s looking more and more like a saint compared to me. “So Steven doesn’t mind contributing to the delinquency of minors?”
“Apparently not,” he says with a sly smile. “My parents are out tonight, and I thought we could go back to my house and celebrate, if you know what I mean.” He reaches across the table, takes my hand, and gives me a knowing look.
Oh, God. He’s talking about doing it. I’ve been putting him off because I really wasn’t sure I wanted to give it up to someone with—as Nicki put it—a groupie. My big excuse has been that we haven’t been going out that long and it was too soon. Maybe he figures one month is long enough—no wonder he had the date memorized.
I force a smile on my face. “Hmmm, sounds intriguing,” I murmur.
Our waitress, Marie, sidles up to the table and I could kiss her for preventing Ryan from making more detailed plans for later.
“Let me tell you about our specials. We have a roasted pork loin with apple chutney stuffing and garlic smashed potatoes.”
I picture Remy babbling about the stupid apples and think I’ll pass on that one.
“Pan-seared tuna covered with a wasabi-ginger sauce, a teriyaki vegetable medley, and spicy shrimp spring rolls. And finally we have a twin lobsters with crabmeat stuffing plate for two that comes with baked potatoes topped with sour cream and a side of steamers. Do you need a minute?”