I think about that for quite a while. I always knew my curse was a curse. I just never thought it could potentially bring about the end of the world. I wipe away a stray tear.
“What if I wasn’t like this… what if I wasn’t human anymore?” I ask softly.
“Of course that would be ideal, but it’s not an option, is it?” Demetri replies.
His words are like a slap across my face. It would be better if I wasn’t me anymore. If I were more like Lucky.
The very thought hurts. To think that I… me… would disappear. My memories. My identity. My hopes and dreams. My connection to Tatiana and Kieron and Corrine, and now to these two lives growing inside of me. To think that could all just be erased as if I never happened… And to know that the world would be a better place for it.
I can’t even think it.
But what are the alternatives? Stay here in an enchanted house like a sitting duck? Continually put others’ lives at risk? Or worse, get captured and be the key that unlocks the destruction of the entire world?
“I need some time to myself,” I whisper, standing up.
Vincent rises with me. “Where are you going?”
I let out a choked laugh. “Nowhere, right? I mean I’m trapped here.” I frown at his pained expression. I know he’s only trying to help.
“I just need to be alone for a while… do some thinking. Is that okay? I’ll just be out there.” I wave my hand in the direction of the cliffs. “Just for a while.”
Vincent studies me a moment and nods. “From what I can tell the protection spell is very, very strong, so you should be fine. But if it’s all the same, I’m going to keep an eye on you, just in case. I just want to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“You mean you don’t want me to unleash Armageddon.”
He reaches out to hold my trembling hands, and looks into my eyes. For a brief moment, the world stops spinning. “No,” he says, his voice low. “I don’t want anything happening to you. Okay? And as long as I’m here, nothing will. Got it?”
I give him a weak nod. How is it possible that I’ve known this guy all of an hour, and yet I feel like I can trust him with my life? What’s left of it, at least.
“I’m not going far. I just need to be alone. Hear myself think. Go ahead and make yourselves at home. If you’re hungry, whatever…” I glance at Demetri, and he nods. I turn to Vincent. “Thank you. Thank you for being here and for wanting to help.”
He briefly lowers his head. As I walk through the sliding glass door, I hear him say,
“I will always be here for you, Liora.”
********
Even before I sit down on the edge of the cliff I know I’ve made up my mind. It will be me. It has to be. She’ll never do it. There really is no choice. I will tell Anastasia to do whatever hocus-pocus she needs to in order to obliterate my existence. I can’t live out the rest of my life as a hostage, or worse, a pawn in the war against good and evil. No thank you. And how would it ever end? How would I ever be safe? Unless all the Light-angels are wiped out or they suddenly have a change of heart, I’ll always be a target. I’ll never be safe. Not really. I’ll only have the pretense of safety, the illusion. Like now. I’m not safe under the witch’s enchantment, or with someone who can teleport me away. That’s not being safe. That’s simply hiding. And I’m sick of it.
I’m not supposed to exist anyways. Not this version of me. There was only supposed to be one rose on this stem, not two. I’m a fluke, a freak, an accident. A loophole. Something to be used and taken advantage of. Something that spells destruction for my family and loved ones and our way of life.
Unless I do what I know needs to be done.
It has to be me. She’ll never do it. Only I have the power to save us from certain destruction and undo the burden I’m placing on everyone. It has to be me. I have to be the one to let go of this life and my memories and identity. The human in me must die.
There is no other way.
Chapter 17. Lucky
It’s a bit disorienting at first, waking up outside, sitting cross-legged on the grass on a spot overlooking the ocean. It takes me a moment to figure out where I am, and as I glance around I realize I’m behind the guesthouse near a cliff.
A familiar figure approaches, and my pulse quickens at the unexpected, but not unpleasant, surprise.
“Hi, Vincent.” I stand up and wipe off my jeans. My legs give a slight wobble from being crossed for so long, and he immediately shoots out his hand to steady me.
“Hey, Lucky.” He grins, and in the shadows I admire the strong cut of his jaw. He seems less tightly wound than last night, although his eyes still burn with intensity.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing here?”
“Demetri and I came over to get intel from Liora on the Light-angels and to keep an eye on things while Kieron is in repose.
“Right. How’d it go?”
Vincent only just now seems to notice he’s still holding my elbow and gently releases his grip.
“As well as can be expected, I suppose. It’s important that Liora know she’s a critical pawn in a potentially catastrophic war, and be fully aware of the risks involved. But at the same time we wanted to try to put her mind at ease and help her feel safe.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You tell a girl that she’s a target for powerful supernatural beings who want to destroy her world, and you expect her mind to be at ease? Geez, what do you tell people when you really want to freak them out?”
“There was no other way. She needs to know the truth, and she needs to know that we’ll protect her.”
“How’d she take it?”
He shrugs and looks off in the distance. “I’m not sure. She said she wanted to be alone to think. She sat out here for about three hours before the sun finally set. I respected her wishes, so I just watched from afar. But then I saw her slump over, and then you came to. So here I am.”
Yes… here you are…
“And Kieron is already asleep?”
Vincent nods.
An awkward silence falls over us as we stand there, close, in the dark. I don’t know if it’s all in my overly-hormonal head, but I haven’t felt this sort of electricity with another guy since… well… ever. Even with Bones, no matter how much he turned me on and how badly I wanted him, everything was always just so damn complicated. And when I think of him now and how he’s gone forever, I hurt too much to breathe. So I just can’t allow myself to think of him.
But in this moment, in the midst of all this craziness, my feelings for Vincent are the only things that are simple. Primal. I want to throw him down on the grass, straddle his body, run my fingers through his hair, and kiss him hard. I want to rip off his t-shirt and see what’s underneath. I want him to roll me over and press his full weight on me and touch my skin—
“What’re you thinking?”
I blink. “Huh?”
“Do you think she took it okay? Liora, I mean. I don’t want to traumatize her, but—”
I swish my hand and start to walk toward the brightly-lit guesthouse. “Oh yeah, yeah, she’s fine. Liora’s a big girl. She can handle it.”
He quickly catches up to me and walks by my side. “I’ll be taking you to Club Hades tonight. There’s a portal that’ll drop us off directly at the back entrance. It’s the safest way.”
“Okay, whatever,” I say, hoping I sound casual. Nonchalant. “Just let me get changed out of these rags.”
We walk in silence across the grass and toward the guesthouse.
********
An hour later I’m dressed and ready to go. Tonight I’m wearing my favorite power outfit, one of several designed just for me by the fire witches of Rome. Usually I only wear it if I’m expecting to be fighting, but the tight fitting, midriff baring, ass hugging crimson leather attire is the most eye-popping, attention getting outfit I have. No harm in looking sexy, is there? Just because a girl is knocked up doesn’t mean she’s dead.
/>
I pause in front of the mirror to adjust my Boumeaux. I close my eyes and bring it to my lips for a soft kiss. I picture his face. The one I never, ever want to forget. The one I wish so badly I could see again.
“Please give me strength,” I whisper. “I know you are here somewhere. I know you can feel me, just as I feel you. I love you… I miss you.”
I give the stone another kiss and head out to meet the others.
“Wow, wow, wow,” Corrine mutters. “You look like you should be in a movie or something.”
I sling a jacket over my shoulder and join Vincent by the door.
“Don’t wait up.”
********
What is it with demons and their damn motorcycles?
Vincent and Demetri’s shiny silver Harleys are parked side-by-side next to the beach portal.
“Why can’t we just teleport there?” I ask.
Vincent shakes his head. “No can do. Porting in and out of highly enchanted areas is risky, even friendly enchantments. Too much magic floating around. We could teleport close by and then walk, but this portal takes us right there.”
I sigh and look away.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid,” Vincent teases, as he swings his leg over the seat.
I stand there and stare at him, not knowing what to say. Because, actually, I am afraid. I’m afraid of sitting so close behind him and pressing my body to his. I’m afraid of how it will make me feel, and worse, how I’ll feel about myself. Bones just died. Kieron is sleeping not five hundred yards away. How am I even looking at another guy?
I shake my head. This isn’t happening. It’s all in my head. Stress, hormones, depression… plus, he’s a stinkin’ Guardian. They always have that super sexy strong and protective thing going on no matter what they’re doing. That’s all.
Vincent raises his eyebrows, and I give him a dirty look. “I’m not afraid,” I mutter and position myself behind him. The feel of his body beneath my hands and his musky, masculine scent is almost more than I can bear. I’m seriously considering jumping off and riding with Demetri, when suddenly the silver beast roars to life. I hold on tight and press my face to Vincent’s back as the wind rushes past.
The ride is over far too soon, and before I know it we’re slowing down and parking in a small lot behind a run-down building. Vincent kicks down the stand and dismounts. He offers me his hand, but I ignore it.
This time there is no doorman, no velvet ropes, no line of Sapies hoping to be allowed in. Just a small, unmarked door. Demetri opens it and we follow him in.
The VIP Bar is more crowded than it was last night, but there is still plenty of space. We take our seats around a table in the back, and almost instantly a drink is in front of me, compliments of some anonymous waitress. I glance to the bar and see Ruby watching me, and I flash her a grateful smile. She winks and returns to her other patrons.
“Lucky, we have some friends we’d like you to meet,” Demetri says. A tall blonde woman, followed by a hulking black man walk over to us. Well, walk isn’t exactly the correct word. The pale, almost translucent woman sort of floats her way over, as if her feet don’t actually need to touch the ground, and the beautiful, ebony skinned man swaggers close behind with the confidence of a champion gladiator. Even if he were merely a Sapie, he’d still be intimidating.
“Adessia, Lennox, this is Lucky, the demion I was telling you about,” Demetri says, nodding to me.
Lennox regards me coolly while Adessia holds out her hand. “Lucky, it’s nice to meet you. We’ve heard such interesting stories.”
“I’m sure you have,” I mutter.
“Pardon?”
“It’s nice to meet you, too.” I fake a smile and take a drink. I’m just not in the mood for socializing tonight. Making acquaintances with new demons requires a certain mental energy that I just don’t have right now, even though the Source Energy is firing up my insides in all the right ways.
Lennox sits down next to Vincent and Demetri, and they huddle up and start talking amongst themselves. Much to my annoyance, Adessia takes a seat on my other side and focuses her attention on me.
“I heard what happened to Bones. I’m so sorry for your loss,” she says.
Her words catch me off guard. My loss. Like I misplaced him somewhere, or I lost a soccer game or something. I debate whether I should kick her in the face, or use her body as a punching bag.
“Did you know him?” I finally ask. She nods solemnly.
“For many, many years. He was one of my favorites.” She looks down and frowns.
My eyes narrow. “Favorite what?” If this bitch isn’t careful…
She pushes her long, blonde hair back from her ethereal face. “I, too, serve as a Guardian, but in the land of Bakettle. I’ve had the honor of meeting with him on several occasions over the centuries, and it was always a delight. Almost makes a demon wish she were human, just for the pleasure of being able to fall under his seduction!” She lets out a tinkling laugh, but I fail to see the humor. Somehow the thought of some horny demon lusting after my dead best friend doesn’t exactly have me rolling in the aisle.
I stand up. “If you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be—”
But Adessia quickly reaches out and stops me. “Wait, please! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was hoping we could talk more… Maybe even be friends.”
I turn and stare at her. Never can I remember meeting a demon who right off the bat asked if we could be friends. Naturally I’m suspicious, but something about her earnest face makes me want to at least hear what she has to say. After all, I do need allies here.
I sit back down and take another sip of my drink.
“Thanks. Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d still feel upset. I forget that as a demion you can’t shut off your feelings like I can. I was crushed when I heard about Bones, but now look at me!” She gives me a bright smile, and it’s all I can do not to slap it off her pretty face.
“Yeah, you got me beat there,” I mutter. So far I’ve done a pretty decent job of keeping my anguish at losing Bones wrapped up in a tight little ball squashed down in the pit of my stomach. One day, when I’m ready, I’ll take it out and let myself feel the agony. But not yet. Not now. It will kill me, and there are things I need to deal with first.
“Sometimes it’s nice to have another girl to talk to,” Adessia continues. “I’m usually surrounded by guys, and only come into this world on occasion. Although with all that’s going on lately, we seem to be coming in a lot more.”
I frown. “What’s going on?”
She shrugs and twirls a lock of hair around her finger. “Just all the craziness in Thiberoux.”
I glance over to the guys. Demetri and Lennox appear to be engaged in a heated conversation, but I catch Vincent looking at me. He tilts his head in sort of a reassuring nod and returns his attention to the others.
I turn back to Adessia. “Like what?” I ask, suddenly feeling very homesick. Despite the horrors that happened there, Thiberoux is my birthright. It is as much a part of me as my hair and skin.
She shakes her head and frowns. “A lot, and none of it good. There’s been more fighting and skirmishes there in the past two weeks than there’s been in the past two centuries. That’s why Lennox and I came in tonight. We need to counsel with our connections here and pool our resources. The outbreak of fighting amongst the clans is unprecedented, and with no apparent reason. The Legionare is all but spent trying to quell all the skirmishes, but so far they’ve only been escalating. Pretty much for the past week straight all hell’s been breaking loose, and I do mean that quite literally.”
“What about Dryndara?”
She shakes her head again. “I’m not exactly sure, but I think Lennox is filling in Vincent and Demetri now.”
I glance at the guys again, and this time Vincent’s face is drawn tight. His jaw is clenched, and I can practically hear the wheels in his head turning as he listens intently to Lennox. I wis
h I could hear what they’re saying, because judging from Vincent’s body language it isn’t good.
Adessia pulls me back to her. “Hey, let’s go grab a drink at the bar and then dance. I always feel so cooped up when I’m in this body… I need to have some fun!”
I give her an incredulous look. “No way. We should stay here. See what’s going on—”
“Pooh pooh. It’s nothing that can’t wait half an hour.” She waves her hand and smiles. “None of us are going to solve the problems of this world or any other tonight. So we might as well dance and sort it out later.”
I can’t believe I’m considering her proposal, but maybe she’s right. The guys seem to be deep in conversation, and I have to admit the beat of the music has me tapping my feet and strumming my fingers. Or maybe that’s just my nerves. Either way, maybe getting lost in the dance floor is exactly what I need right now. I need to do something to work off this pent up energy building inside of me.
I turn to Adessia.
“Lead the way!”
********
Close to an hour later Adessia and I collapse on one of the strategically placed sofas, laughing and exhausted.
She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a long cigarette. I look at her, curious. “I’ve never met a demon who smokes before. Demion, yeah, but not a demon.”
She gives a coy smile. “This isn’t a normal cigarette. Actually, it helps me to breathe. It regenerates my fire.”
“Your what?”
With a mischievous smirk, Adessia quickly glances around to make sure the coast is clear. We’re off to the side behind some trees, and away from the main action below the stage. There are Sapies mingling around, but none close enough to see exactly what it is we’re doing.
She tilts her head back and opens her mouth. Suddenly, a stream of black and orange fire shoots out several feet into the air.