As the graveside service broke up, Sadie saw her friend Matt, standing across the crowd. He’d been crying, as she had, and somehow that moved her.
“Hey, Matt,” she said softly as he came toward her.
He reached down and gave her a hug, something he’d never done before. She suddenly felt close to him, bound by a common thread.
“You going to the prayer service the youth are giving?” she asked when he let her go.
He glanced in the direction most of the students were heading, into the church next to the cemetery. “Am I too old?”
“Of course not. It’s for anyone who wants to come.”
“Okay, I guess I will.”
He walked with her into the big room where the youth held their Bible studies, and they took seats near the back. As the kids quietly filed in, talking in low voices, Matt leaned his elbows on his knees and closed his eyes, shaking his head. “This is horrible. Her death is so senseless. I can’t even believe it. What could he have been thinking?”
“Who?” she asked.
“The one who did this. She was just a kid. She never hurt anybody.”
She saw the tears in his eyes behind his glasses, and she touched his back. Slowly, he sat back up, took her hand, and held it in his. He looked down at it, as if contemplating it. “Sorry. I’m just having a hard time with this.”
“Me too.”
He drew in a deep, ragged breath and let her hand go. Taking off his glasses, he rubbed his eyes. “I’m so angry I don’t know what to do.”
“At who?”
He shrugged, shoved the glasses back on. “God, maybe. He should have protected her. Watched over her.”
Sadie didn’t know what to say to that, but his honesty and openness made her feel closer to him than ever before. She almost wished she didn’t have a date after the service. Maybe she would have been able to hang out with him and talk the anger through.
The prayer service started with the Mercy Me song “I Can Only Imagine,” sung by the guitar-playing youth minister. The kids around her closed their eyes in tearful worship. Sadie did the same.
After the song, the microphone was open, and one by one, Emily’s friends came up to share personal stories about the girl whose personality had never shone more brightly. With each successive story, the sadness lifted, and tears turned to laughter. It was good to see teens who didn’t know Christ being touched by Emily’s life as well as her death. It helped, knowing God might, indeed, have a purpose for it and a plan to reap a harvest from the sleep of one of his beloved children.
As Sadie left the church after the service, the burden of Emily’s death became lighter. Matt still seemed down, but his tears had dried. He followed her out into the church’s foyer.
“Hey, you want to go somewhere and talk?”
She looked up at him. “I wish I could. I really do. But I’m meeting somebody.”
“Oh.” He nodded, looking almost embarrassed. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”
“Maybe tomorrow? I do want to talk to you.”
He softened then, and met her eyes. His were a soft brown behind those glasses. A slow smile worked itself into them. “Okay. I have class and have to work at the florist, but I’ll call you if I can get some time free. Will Morgan and Jonathan let you talk to me?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t they?”
“I’ve just heard they’re pretty strict. And me being a college guy … That’s kind of why I haven’t suggested it before now.”
“I think it’ll be okay.”
She followed him out of the church and watched him walk to the parking lot. Scott Crown was already waiting for her in his little Toyota, idling on the street out front. She hoped this was worth it.
The radio was playing a rap song too loudly for her mood, but thankfully, he turned it down as she got in.
“Hey.”
He studied her face. “You okay?”
“Yeah. The service was actually nice. I’m glad I went.”
“Good. I thought we’d go get a hamburger. Hungry?”
“Yeah, I am. That’ll be great.”
As he drove, she realized he looked like a teenager who’d just walked out of algebra class, instead of a full-fledged police officer.
He wore that teasing grin that he’d worn in high school when he strolled down the corridor, keenly aware that he could have dated any of the dreamy-eyed girls who spoke to him. And he’d dated quite a few.
He took her to Beach Bums, a hamburger joint on the water, where the beachcombers hung out and where a lot of the high school kids usually congregated in the parking lot each night. Since most of the kids had been at the service, the place was relatively empty. Scott chose a table by the window with an ocean view, and though the sun wasn’t visible as it set in the west, its hues filled the sky in a watercolor pallet, lending an air of romance to the night.
Scott smiled at her. “I’m glad you came out with me. I was afraid you might not, since I’m out of school and all. Did your mom give you any trouble?”
“No, but the age thing did come up, until I reminded them that you’re only a year older.”
“Hard to believe you have another whole year of school left,” he said as he bit into his burger. “You ever feel like quitting? Since you have a job and all?”
“All the time.” Sadie picked at her french fries. “But then I realize I need to finish. Maybe even go to college and study journalism.”
“Why? So you can spend four years learning to do what you’re already doing, then come back here and work the same job?”
She smiled. “How do you know I want to stay here? Maybe I want to go to New York or Washington and work for one of the major papers.”
“Is that what you’re gonna do?”
“I’d want the option, even if I didn’t take it. Didn’t you ever think of going to college?”
“Yeah, I thought about it. But my family couldn’t afford it.”
“What about scholarships, grants? Jonathan says no one should have to skip college because of finances, with all the financial aid available. I mean, you might not get to go to the college that’s your first choice, but you could go somewhere and get your degree.”
He bit again and chewed, thinking. “Well, to be perfectly honest, my grades weren’t good enough in school to get academic scholarships. I wasn’t a good enough athlete to get an athletic scholarship. And when it all came right down to it, and I started thinking about loans and grants and all that, I realized I’d rather get on with my life now. Now I have a steady income and a place of my own and I don’t have to live in some dorm room waiting for real life to begin.”
“Real life? You don’t think college is real life?”
He chuckled. “No, I don’t. When else can you take four years to party and hang out, live in a place all expenses paid, with no one to answer to?”
“You answer to the professors.”
“Not much. If you can pass their tests, they’re satisfied. But they don’t care when you come in at night or how much you drink. Even the studying isn’t real life. Think about it. How often in life are you going to use calculus?”
“I don’t know. But don’t you think it’s good for your brain to learn? It makes you sharper. More disciplined.”
He rolled his eyes. “Most people come out of college with their brains fried, not sharper. I have friends who’ve gone to college and wound up just as messed up as those who dropped out in high school. I figure, who needs it?”
“You sound like you’ve given this a lot of thought.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I have. I decided that being a cop was the way to get what I want. People respect cops. They admire them. Bad guys fear them.”
Sadie grinned. “And you like being feared?”
“There are worse things.”
Sadie thought about the impressions she’d had of cops in the past. They’d arrested her mother, dragged her off in handcuffs…. But they’d also rescued Sadie whe
n she was alone and broken. “I don’t fear cops. I respect them. I owe my life to Cade. Ten college degrees wouldn’t make you more important than one police badge, in my book.”
His smile told her he appreciated that.
“And look what you did, discovering Emily’s body. You’re practically a hero.”
“Just doing my job.”
Sadie wasn’t sure of his sincerity—since he had every reason to be proud—but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Have you always wanted to be a cop?”
“Since I was a kid. But I also like working with computers. Maybe I’ll move into something with cybercrimes. Maybe for the FBI or something.”
“Ever thought of being a detective, like your uncle?”
“Maybe. But I wouldn’t settle for what he’s settled for. Small town crimes that would put you to sleep—”
“Hey, Joe’s helped solve some major cases. Cade says he’s one of the best.”
“Yeah, but I want more. I’m starting young enough to make my mark.”
“And you’re being trained by the best. Cade’s top-notch.”
“Yeah, he’s great. A real role model.”
Was that a note of sarcasm in his voice?
He gazed out the window, then his face changed. “Hey, if it isn’t the old gang. Let’s go out and see them.”
Sadie followed his gaze to the group of her schoolmates that had gathered in the parking lot. They’d been at the church, and like her, they seemed to need some levity after the sadness of the last few days. She didn’t want to join them, but Scott was already sliding out of the booth. Reluctantly, she followed him outside.
“Hey, it’s Scott!”
At Don Sandifer’s exclamation, everyone turned to look. Sadie wanted to shrink back, but Scott headed into the midst of the crowd.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?”
“Are you really the one who found Emily the other night?” Annie Malone’s voice gushed with adoration.
“Yeah, that was me, but I can’t talk about an ongoing police investigation, guys.”
“Do you have your gun with you?”
Scott shot Bret Ames a look that suggested he was an idiot. “No, Bozo, I’m not carrying a piece, and even if I were, I wouldn’t let you see it. It’s not a toy.”
Sadie watched Scott bask in the admiration of his former classmates. He deserved it … but it was the last way she wanted to spend their date.
As if he sensed her feelings, Scott reached back and took her hand. “You guys know my date, Sadie, don’t you?”
The gesture surprised her. The gossip would be all over the island within an hour. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
Then, through the crowd, she saw someone watching her. Matt stood there, his hands in his pockets, looking at her holding Scott’s hand.
She let his hand go and crossed her arms. Why had she done that? Was it worry for his feelings, when she didn’t even know for sure how he felt? Or was it because she didn’t want him to think she and Scott were an item?
She honestly didn’t know.
Matt didn’t come closer. Instead, he walked away and was gone before she could stop him.
She considered running after him, but what would she say? If he was interested in her, why hadn’t he ever made a move?
Scott Crown had done so, and he was proud to be with her, even if she was a high school student.
And there was something to be said for that.
CHAPTER 15
The sun melted into the horizontal clouds that seemed to hang over Hanover House, and Amelia Roarke realized it would be dark soon. The sight of that peaceful sky—like a banner that promised nothing bad could ever happen here—should have relaxed her. Instead, she couldn’t breathe.
She needed a paper sack to blow into, to signal to her lungs that they didn’t have to coil up like tightly balled fists. “I can’t do this. Keep driving.”
Her best friend Jamie clutched the steering wheel. “Come on, Amelia. We came all the way here. We’ve driven by that house four times. We’re going to stop and knock on that door.”
Amelia thought she might throw up as they rolled toward the driveway. “No, I can’t! Please, don’t turn in there. We’ll do it tomorrow.”
She’d never figured herself for a coward, yet here she was, shivering like her life depended on the person behind that door, the woman who had given birth to her nineteen years earlier.
The mother she’d never met.
The truth was, she was scared of how she’d feel when that door opened. What if her mother answered the door and mistook her for an encyclopedia salesman? What if she slammed the door in her face?
Or worse, what if she invited her in and listened as Amelia told her that she was the child she’d given up for adoption? She could get angry and rail about sealed records and ruined lives. She could throw her out without even a smile.
Anything could happen.
Her parents had warned her—her real parents, who had loved her and raised her, stayed up with her when she was sick, and wept when she went off to college. Still, no matter how much they loved her, they just didn’t get it. They’d been hurt, as if her search was a personal assault on them.
But the questions ate at Amelia, and she often woke up thinking about this mystery woman who gave her up. What did her mother look like? Did she have any other kids? Who was Amelia’s father? Was he alive?
She’d had to do the search behind her parents’ backs, using the computer and the resources she’d learned about on a Listserv for adoptees. It took more than a year to find out her mother’s name and another year to locate her.
When Amelia learned she lived in a place called Cape Refuge, she thought the name sounded like shelter, peace, a place where you were a part of things without even trying.
She didn’t expect such terror at the prospect of finding what she’d searched for all this time.
“You’ll have to do it sometime, Amelia.” Jamie’s look was pointed. “We don’t have enough money to stay longer than a couple of days.”
Jamie was a good friend. She’d come along for moral support—knowing that Amelia’s nerves would get the best of her and she’d need a hand to hold. Amelia hated letting her down.
“I know, and I will. Tomorrow, I promise.” She twisted her long blonde hair around her finger until it almost cut off the circulation; she was like a little girl at vacation Bible school, clinging to her mother’s knees and begging her not to make her go in.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was supposed to have more courage. She’d been relentless in tracking her birth mother down, more fearless with each phone call that got her closer to her goal.
Was she going to let it slip through her fingers because of a case of nerves? If she did, she’d never forgive herself. “What if she doesn’t want to see me?”
“We’ve been through all this.” Jamie came to a stop sign and gave her a long look. “You said you were ready. You’ve been building up to this for a whole year.”
It was true. Jamie had been with her every step of the way, rooting her on and offering ideas. The day Amelia got a copy of her original birth certificate and learned her mother’s name, Jamie was there, just as excited as she.
Now Jamie sighed. “I’m gonna be totally bummed if we did this all for nothing.”
Amelia knew that for all Jamie’s encouragement, she was running out of patience. As they sat at the stop sign, Jamie pulled her bottle-blonde hair up from her neck to cool it off, since her air conditioner wasn’t working that great.
“I’ll be bummed too. I promise, I’m going to do it tomorrow. I just need to get my head straight first. Plan what I’ll say. I thought we’d get here and have a little more trouble finding where she was, you know? I didn’t expect that lady to tell us right off the bat. It threw my rhythm off.”
Jamie shot her an amused look. “Your rhythm? Don’t go dramatic on me, Amelia. You don’t need a rhythm to knock on someone’s d
oor.”
“Okay, so it sounds crazy. But I don’t know yet what I want to do after I meet her. Like, if she does accept me, what relationship do I want to have? Will I want to be friends? Will I need to call her Mom? Will I spend holidays with her, visit her in the summers? When I get married someday, will she sit on the row with my parents, or will she sit somewhere else like anybody else who comes? I have to work through these things.”
“Now you’re acting mental. Normal people don’t have to have the outcome for every possible scenario before they take the first step.”
“So you’re calling me crazy?”
“Yes. Certifiable.” Jamie looked at her with those impatient eyes, and suddenly Amelia started to laugh. Jamie broke into a smile too and started to drive again.
“Okay, so we go back to the room, get a good night’s sleep, you write about a hundred angst-ridden pages in your journal, and tomorrow—”
“Tomorrow we go and knock on her door. I’ll be ready then.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay, then. We’ll go back to the room.” Jamie flicked her hair back over her shoulder and glanced at Amelia. “Now that’s something to be afraid of.”
CHAPTER 16
Cade gave the information about Marcus Gibson to the GBI, letting them know his department was available to help in any way they needed. They’d planned to put Gibson under twenty-four-hour surveillance, but they hadn’t been able to locate him yet.
Cade took advantage of the lull to go to the jewelry store and pick up the ring he’d had made for Blair.
The Colonel from Crickets—Cade’s favorite diner—was there, standing at one of the display counters, studying some necklaces. Zaheer, who had taken out several things to show the man, clapped his hands when Cade came in.
“Ah, Chief Cade. I have been expecting you today.”
The Colonel turned around and grinned. “Well, well. If it ain’t ol’ Romeo hisself.”
Cade grinned and shook the man’s hand. “You didn’t see me here, okay, Colonel?”