At first, I’d been nervous when he’d picked me up the next time for work. I was afraid things would be awkward. Maybe unbearably so or that he’d ask more about Edi and me. While I wasn’t ashamed of her and obviously he knew now, I realized that, as long as I didn’t discuss my relationship with her with anyone else, it didn’t seem real—I wasn’t actually gay. I was just loving Edi the way she wanted me to love her. As horrible as it sounded, I could justify it because I really did love her. It shouldn’t matter that it wasn’t the same way she loved me. It was still love.
My nerves had been all for nothing. Aaron didn’t act any differently from before I told him. He was still just as sweet and professional as always. At first, there had been a slight change. I noticed the times he came out of his office to chat with me decreased. I cursed myself for secretly wishing each time I heard his office door open that he would come over.
But as the days went by, he was back to coming out as often as he did in the past. The week before our trip to Milwaukee I felt a slight shift in our friendship. Because it was just a few days before the presentation at the trade show, he came out more often than normal to coach me and go over some key points. But he did this even in front of Bea and Eileen. At one point, he even asked them to sit and be part of the audience as I practiced doing the presentation for them.
There was nothing strange or improper about it, except that, while I didn’t work the whole week, the days I did, I worked later than Bea and Eileen, and each night he ordered food in for us. He did this before either Bea or Eileen left, so it wasn’t as if he were ordering food for just him and me. Though each time Bea or Eileen—or both if they’d happen to be working the same day—would excuse themselves the moment they’d put in their hours. With them gone, Aaron and I were left eating alone, and the conversations would inevitably go from business to personal. But I took it all in stride and figured it was the same as when Bea and Eileen were around and the subject would turn to something non-business-related.
I was back to feeling comfortable around him though the craziness in my stomach was still happening and more often now. But we’d since steered clear of discussing anything about our personal relationships.
One morning I got a text from him, and, as usual, my insides went wild just seeing his name on my screen. It was a short text informing me he was stuck at work and Bea would be picking me up in an hour but that he’d see me there later.
I let Edi, who was waiting for someone the landlord was sending over to replace our smoke detectors, know that she could leave. I could wait for the guy since my ride wouldn’t be there for another hour. The guy arrived just as I was having another cup of coffee and doing some required reading for school with the TV on in the front room. He introduced himself as Benji and said he’d only be a few minutes.
“I didn’t know there was anything wrong with our smoke detectors,” I said to the big burly guy from the counter where I was sitting watching him as he opened a box with new detectors.
“There isn’t,” he said without looking up. “New state law takes effect end of the month. Most detectors have either ionization or photoelectric sensors. Used to be either would do. New law says all rental properties need to be equipped with dual sensor alarms now. Owner of this place can be fined some big bucks if these new ones aren’t in by the first.”
I glanced up at the detector as I got up, circled the counter, and placed my mug in the sink. As was the case lately, my mind was instantly on Aaron and the EPG. But mostly just Aaron.
Within minutes, the guy had the new detector on, and I was still half watching him finish, half thinking of Aaron and the conversation we’d had last.
It wasn’t until I realized Benji was talking to me that I noticed I’d zoned out. I glanced at him and saw he was staring at the television.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, turning to see what he was staring at and feeling a little rude that I hadn’t heard a thing he’d said.
“I said I’d bet the farm that apartment didn’t have any working smoke detectors.”
The anchor woman on site was standing in front of a still smoking building that apparently had just been put out. I tried to catch up by listening because I still had no idea what he was talking about. The only thing I took away was that it was in the next county. Once again, I felt the strangest mix of relief, guilt, and excitement all at once. Relief that because the fire wasn’t in Ingham County there was no chance Aaron could’ve been there. Guilt that I’d care so much because I knew it was far more than just understandable concern for my boss. And excitement because just thinking about it reminded me I’d be seeing him again soon.
I frowned, giving up trying to figure out what the heck Benji could mean by what’d he’d said. So I said the only thing that made sense. “But it’s the law. They have to have working smoke detectors.”
“Yeah, but that witness they interviewed said the apartment had been raided before.” He shook his head, picking up the small step ladder he’d brought in with him. “That area down there is full of tweakers and potheads. Betcha anything they had some kind of meth lab in that apartment. First thing they do when they’re getting ready to set up something like that is rip out the smoke detectors. Even if it was just a pothead in the apartment, they don’t want that alarm going off every time they’re lightin’ one up.”
I was still thinking about what Benji said even after he left. How it sucked for the innocent tenants that might’ve lived next door to those thoughtless pothead and tweakers. It reminded me of Aaron’s issue with the EPG in apartment complexes. Despite the smoke detectors being mandated by law, the tweakers ripping the detectors off the ceiling rendered the rest of the smoke detectors in the building pretty much useless.
In the middle of brushing my teeth, an idea hit me and I froze. Within minutes, I was on my laptop, and the more I researched, the more excited I got. I could hardly wait to see Aaron now, and it wasn’t just for the usual reasons this time. I actually considered calling him, which I’d never done before, but decided against it.
When Bea drove up, I practically ran down the stairs then calmed myself before getting in her car. This was exciting, yes, but maybe I was just a little too excited. Bea had never expressed anything but boredom when it came to Aaron’s business. I was afraid she might find my over enthusiasm about this a bit suspicious, so I decided I’d wait until I was alone with Aaron.
It felt like an eternity waiting for Aaron to get there. I was so antsy I actually agreed to take a walk with Bea when she said she was going out for a smoke. On our way back, I had to refrain from smiling too hugely when I saw his car in the driveway.
“I still have some cigarette left, and I don’t wanna hear it from Aaron,” she said.
That was more than perfect. I could catch him alone while Bea finished her smoke.
“I’ve got to use the restroom,” I lied. “So I’ll meet you inside.”
I practically skipped and giggled under my breath, knowing if Bea noticed my rush she’d think I’d waited too long to go. I took a deep breath and calmed myself before entering the house.
Chapter 10
Aaron
When we’d arrived at my house, I’d been more than relieved to see Bea and Henrietta weren’t there. Since Bea’s car was out front, I figured Henrietta must’ve gone with her on one of her walks. It wasn’t as if Henrietta working for me was a secret or that Mia had never met her. Since I’d brought Henrietta on, Mia had dropped by exactly two times. As far as I knew, she didn’t have an issue with Henrietta, my sister’s friend, working for me.
Mia knew me well enough to know I’d never cheat on her. I’d never given her reason to be insecure about Henrietta or any other girl in the entire ten years we’d been together, but she’d since made a few telling comments about Henrietta: “She’s very pretty” or “She must be single or her boyfriend would be picking her up instead of you having to drive her to and from work so often.” Each time I responded with an indifferent “I g
uess” or a disinterested shrug. I could’ve told her I knew she wasn’t single—that she was actually in a relationship with another girl. I know it would’ve relieved Mia from any doubts she might be having about my spending time around my young pretty employee. But I had to respect Henrietta’s request that I not share with anyone about her personal life. So I hadn’t.
Technically, I had nothing to hide. I’d done nothing wrong. It just made me nervous to have her around Henrietta too much. Mia was too perceptive. So when she called earlier to say she and her cousin Ruth were stopping by my place during business hours, I wasn’t thrilled. But what could I say? I’d jumped the gun before she even explained why she was calling and said I had to go home to get started on work ASAP. My haste to avoid delaying my time with Henrietta further backfired on me. She and Ruth were working on a collage for her cousin’s wedding reception and wanted to stop by and search through some of the old photos I had.
I was now standing behind them at my desk, looking over their shoulders as they opened my box of old photos when Henrietta suddenly rushed in my office with a huge smile. The smile noticeably waned the moment she saw Mia and Ruth.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted, freezing at the door. “I didn’t know you were—”
“That’s okay,” I said before she could apologize further. “Something going on?”
“No.” She shook her head as her face flushed. “I just . . . it’s about the EPG. I had an idea.” She took a step backward. “But I can tell you about it later. I didn’t mean to—”
“No, no,” Mia said quickly before I could. “If it’s about work, by all means, go right ahead. Don’t mind us. We’re just looking through some old photos. Pretend we’re not here. We’ll be quiet,” she added with a whisper.
I would’ve suggested we leave and talk somewhere else, but Mia’s comment was too obvious. She wanted us to stay. Had we left my office, she would’ve wondered why.
“What is it?” I asked a bit curious.
Henrietta had only come to my office a handful of times. None of those times had she rushed in there as she had today, smiling so big. If Mia and Ruth hadn’t been there, I likely would’ve been smiling just as big.
“I, uh . . .” she started a bit apprehensively. “I was watching the news this morning. There was a fire at an apartment building in Lansing . . .”
She explained about the guy replacing her smoke detectors and what he’d said about being sure the apartment likely had no working smoke detectors and why. It had reminded her of my dilemma.
“I remembered you saying one of the biggest selling points of the EPG to big companies is the tax breaks they get and the discounts they get on their insurance,” she added as that smile she’d walked in with resurfaced. “It got me thinking. If smoke detectors being ripped out in these apartment buildings is a big enough issue for the property owners, since the EPG can be installed in undetected areas of the building and most tenants wouldn’t even be aware what they are or that they’re even there . . .”
Most of what she was saying about making the tax and insurance breaks selling points were things I’d already begun to look into. Though I hadn’t thought as broadly as she was thinking: the value to a property owner of the anonymity of the EPG versus a smoke detector. Replacing a smoke detector was relatively cheap but not for real estate investors who owned hundreds of buildings around the country that could add up to tens of thousands a year. She’d actually started to research other things I hadn’t looked into, such as how to get on counties’ and states’ lists of approved products that would satisfy certain mandated safety measures in commercial buildings.
It was fucking brilliant, and I knew now why she’d been smiling so big when she first walked in, but mostly I couldn’t get over how excited this made her too. Seeing her beautiful eyes shine so bright actually made me feel giddy. Giddy.
I was a grown ass man. I’d never even used the damn word in my life much less felt it. And so profoundly. I had no business feeling giddy!
When she said she could show me some of what she’d found online, I excused myself from my office immediately. I didn’t miss the way Mia and Ruth exchanged glances, but there was no way she could turn this into anything more than what it was—one hundred percent business. Never mind that I’d never been so tempted to hug and kiss someone in my life.
Henrietta spoke excitedly as she typed and clicked on different pages and quoted articles regarding safety regulations in different counties in Michigan alone.
“This is just the tip of the iceberg,” she said as she clicked on a spreadsheet with different data from all the different counties and states.
She stopped when she noticed I was staring at her. It was the strangest thing. “You did all this?”
The excitable smile she’d been wearing all this time flattened into more of a timid or embarrassed smile and she nodded. “I could hardly wait for you to get here, so I had to keep myself busy somehow. I figured it’d be easier to show you if I had it all in one place.”
Then something happened, the same thing that had been happening all too often lately. I was instantly distracted at the sight of her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. My eyes dropped to her soft wet lips and stayed there too long, but I couldn’t look away. When I finally did, it was only then that I realized how close I was now sitting next to her. So close I could smell the fragrance of whatever shampoo she wore—her skin. My hand was next to hers on the desk. Without even thinking, I grazed her finger with mine. The touch was so miniscule, so insignificant, yet I could see it in her eyes—eyes that tried as desperately as I mine did to hide something.
And then the words spilled out of my lips before I could give it another thought.
“I could hardly wait for you to get here too.”
My sister, walking out from the bathroom in the hallway, snapped me out of my trance. If it hadn’t been for that, even with Mia in the house, I might not have been able to fight the temptation to cradle her face in my hands and kiss her.
The door to my office opened, and Mia’s and Ruth’s voices further pulled me out of my trance, and I gulped in a big chunk of air. I turned to Mia and Ruth as they entered the back room.
“We got the ones we need.”
Mia waved a stack of photos at me even as her eyes bounced back and forth from me to Henrietta. The reminder of just how close I’d been sitting to her had me scooting away slightly.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get these back to you as soon as I make copies,” she said.
I stood up, pushing the seat I was sitting in back to the other desk where it belonged.
“You don’t have to,” I said, glancing up at her. “You can keep them.”
She gave me a strange look, glanced at Henrietta one last time, and then turned back to me with a lift of a brow. “Walk me out?”
I nodded and followed her out. We weren’t even out of the house when she turned to me with a purpose.
“She cheered you right up.”
That confused me. “What?”
“I’ve never seen you switch gears so fast,” she hissed in a lowered voice as we hurried out the front door as if maybe she didn’t want Ruth to hear her. She stopped out on the front porch and glowered at me. “It was disgusting. My stomach literally turned watching you two.”
“Cheered me up? Switched gears?” I asked, doing my best to sound as clueless as I could because not only was my heart still racing, my stomach was turning now too. “Who said I was in a bad mood before she got here?”
“Well, you haven’t been that happy to see me in years.”
And there you had it. Mia was officially on to me. Fuck! “What? Stop.” I put on my best soured expression, shaking my head, and reached for her hand, pulling her to me as she tried to walk away. “Mia, don’t, okay?”
“Don’t what?” she asked even more annoyed.
“Don’t do this. She’s my little sister’s friend.”
“Do you think I’m blind?” she asked, and I
pulled her even closer to me even as she tried to squirm away. “Do you know how humiliating that was for me?”
“What was?” I asked, pulling back.
Had she seen my exchange with Henri? But before she could answer because I was almost afraid to hear it, I tried to explain.
“She had a good idea. A damn good one. You know how I feel about this business, Mia. You know anything that’ll move it forward excites me. Her idea excited me, babe. Not her.”
She stared at me for a moment without saying anything then pulled away. “I’ll see you tonight. Unless”—she turned back to contemplate me then toward the front door—“you’re working late again.”
“I’ll pick you up early,” I countered.
Without another word, she got in the car with Ruth, and I watched them drive away. The inevitable was happening already. After what happened inside between Henrietta and me and with Mia being upfront and honest as usual about her feelings, two things were clear. Whatever it was that I was feeling for Henrietta—happening between us—it wasn’t going away. If anything, it was intensifying in a way I no longer had any control over it.
In answer to Mia’s question earlier, she wasn’t blind and that meant one thing. I’d have a big decision to make a lot sooner than I anticipated before things really got out of control.
~*~
Henri
As much as I wanted to—and a part of me still did—I could no longer deny the obvious. Something was happening. Exactly what, I had no idea. But whatever was happening, it was as exciting as it was terrifying. While my brain kept reminding me that nothing but disaster could come of this, my heart could not contain the exhilaration it felt every time he gazed at me in that special way.
Our way now.
I knew I was in denial that this didn’t have the potential to end badly. Very badly. But despite the spike my heart rate took every time we had another moment, I knew one thing with all certainty. I would not cheat on Edi. Ever. It was my biggest argument with the voice in my head that I still had some control over this.