"And was the shuttle accident anywhere in this vicinity?"
"No, sir. Actually, it was in New Jersey. She was on vacation, visiting family there. She was flying a private shuttle and it went out of control and crashed into the Atlantic Ocean."
"You'll excuse me if I don't seem properly sympathetic to your, uhm… loss," he said, leaning back in his chair, "but do you have any theories or guesses as to how your late mother managed to get all the way from a watery grave to the Gamma Hydrinae system?"
"I believe," she said promptly, for naturally she had given the matter no small amount of thought, "that she never died in the accident."
"Well, that would certainly follow."
"Her body was never recovered after the crash. They found the shattered remains of her personal transport shuttle, but it was cracked open and there was no sign of her. Since there were no traces of transporter energy or any other intelligent agency that might have rescued or abducted her, we had always assumed that some… some oceanic form of life had simply made off with her body and, uhm…"
"Eaten it?" Si Cwan supplied after she was silent for a moment.
She fired him an icy look. "Yes, thank you," she said, although she didn't sound especially appreciative. "That was the phrase I was searching for."
"You're welcome," replied Si Cwan graciously, sarcasm being totally lost on him.
"It is my belief," continued Lefler, "that she allowed us—my father and me—to believe that she had been killed."
"She could have been kidnapped."
"She had been."
"But I thought you said…"
"She had been, to my knowledge, abducted at least eight times in my lifetime. She was not a stay-at-home kind of mother. Each time she escaped within hours and returned within days. After the accident, my father and I held out hope for a long time. Hope that she would just walk in the front door. In the end, we had no choice but to assume she was dead."
"Were your parents getting along? Happy marriage and all?"
"To the best of my knowledge, yes, sir. Certainly nothing my father said to me indicated otherwise. He, uhm…" She looked down. "He… passed away several years later, shortly after I entered Starfleet. He was never quite the same after she was killed, and it was like he just… just drifted away from life, and was only waiting until my life was on track and settled before he …"
Si Cwan reached over and put a hand upon one of hers. The contrast could not have been greater, for his hands were large and red, while hers were small, pale, and rather delicate. Under other circumstances, the physical contact between her and Si Cwan would have sent a secret little thrill of pleasure through her, but as it was she was simply grateful for the gesture. She squeezed his hand tightly in acknowledgment and he nodded slightly as if to say that he understood.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Lieutenant," Calhoun told her. "But that still leaves us with the question of why she would vanish without a trace ten years ago only to show up in Thallonian space."
"I don't know!" Lefler cried, her voice raised, and she quickly realized that her tone was inappropriate for such a response, particularly considering that she was addressing her commanding officer. She looked at him nervously, but he simply put up a calming hand, indicating that she shouldn't get too concerned over the breach of etiquette. "I don't know," she repeated, far more calmly this time. "I suppose that's why I'm rather eager to find out. When can we leave, sir? Our mission on Zondar is concluded, but we're still in orbit here. We could easily depart immediately for—"
"In case you haven't noticed, Lieutenant, our science officer is still not aboard."
"Yes, of course I noticed, sir," Lefler said. "She's on the Zondarian surface exploring some sort of archaeological dig. Can't that be concluded another time, sir? Or perhaps we could come back for her?"
"Lieutenant, as much as I appreciate your anxiety here, this is simply not an emergency."
"Captain!"
He shook his head, a grim smile of amusement playing across his lips. "If it's really your mother, Lieutenant, and you've believed her dead for the last ten years—and she's been stewing on Momidium for the last five—then a few more days isn't going to cause the total collapse of the galaxy as we know it."
"Then let me go on ahead."
"Negative, Lieutenant. The last time I sent any members of this crew 'on ahead' in a shuttle, it was with the best of intentions with the most cataclysmic results."
"Captain, this is hardly the same situation," Si Cwan said. "I know what you're referring to: When the science vessel Kayven Ryin informed us that my sister was aboard, it turned out to be a trap set for me by an old enemy. But the situations are hardly analogous, Captain. It's not as if the lieutenant has enemies in this sector."
"I'm not saying she does, Ambassador," replied Calhoun. "The point is, the moment I send any of my people away from the Excalibur, I'm sending them into potential danger. I won't hesitate to do so if I feel it's necessary. In this instance, I don't feel it is."
"But Captain…" began Lefler.
He looked at her levelly. "Lieutenant, are you under the impression that my decision is open for debate?"
She opened her mouth a moment, then closed it and looked down. "No, sir," she said quietly.
"Good. The fact is that Lieutenant Soleta's investigations are potentially very important for our ongoing mission, and I'm not going to put a phaser to her head and tell her to hurry it up. Nor am I going to abandon her on Zondar so we can head off to retrieve your alleged mother."
"Yes, sir," sighed Lefler.
Calhoun tapped his commbadge. "Calhoun to Soleta."
After a moment, the science officer's voice came back. "Soleta here."
"Lieutenant, I'm not trying to rush you, but a matter has come up that may require our attention. Can you give me a rough estimate of when you'll be completing your investigation of Ontear's cave and the surrounding vicinity?"
"Nineteen hours, twenty-seven minutes, Captain."
He blinked in surprise, "Nineteen hours, twenty-seven minutes?"
"Yes, sir."
"I'm surprised you didn't pin it down to the exact number of remaining seconds."
"You did say a rough estimate, Captain," she replied.
"So I did," admitted Calhoun. "All right, thank you, Lieutenant. Calhoun out." He turned to face Lefler and Si Cwan. "Ambassador, I would like you to contact the Momidium government. Let them know that their terms are acceptable if they are indeed as described. I respect the fact that there is a time pressure regarding the illness they are trying to combat, but we won't be able to set out for about a solar day. I assume they can hold on until then."
"I imagine they will have to," said Si Cwan.
"Lieutenant, follow up with Dr. Maxwell. Inform him that we will indeed be needing sickbay's assistance in this matter and that they should have some lab time set aside to accommodate us."
"Yes, sir."
He thumped his palms on the table. "Sounds like a plan," he said briskly and rose. "Unless there's anything else then… ?"
Si Cwan and Lefler looked at each other questioningly. "No, I think that is more or less all, Captain," Lefler said.
"Good." He rose, and then paused and added,
"Lieutenant… for what it's worth, I truly am sorry over the personal difficulties you've had with your parents."
"Thank you, Captain."
He nodded, turned and walked out.
Lefler sat back and sighed. "That didn't go as well as I'd hoped."
"He agreed to make Momidium our next port of call," replied Si Cwan. "Considering the number of worlds that are vying for our attention, that alone is something of an accomplishment."
She sat forward, propping her chin up in her hands. "It's insane, Si Cwan. I feel like Alice."
"Alice?" His brow furrowed. "What is an 'Alice'?"
She sighed. "When I was a little girl, one of my favorite books was Alice in Wonderland. My mother introduced me to it, in fact."
r />
"I can't say I'm familiar with it."
"I wouldn't imagine it made the Thallonian bestseller list," she said, speaking with an amusement she didn't really feel. "It was actually somewhat subversive in its time. It was created to be a satire of Brit— of a particular Earth government. But functioning in and of itself, it's the story of a young girl who falls down a hole burrowed by an animal called a rabbit and discovers herself in a strange and mystical realm in which no one and nothing makes any sense. It has maintained its popularity for centuries."
"I can easily understand why. Entering a realm that makes no sense? My dear Lieutenant, the technical term for that is 'birth.' Or are you under the mistaken impression that life as a whole makes sense?"
"I guess not, but damn it, Si Cwan, you'd think some things would be a given, wouldn't you?"
"A given?" He looked at her quizzically, and then he rose from his chair and slowly circled the room, never taking his eyes off her. They had that piercing quality that she found so attractive in him, but somehow at that moment, she wasn't really paying attention to them. "What things?"
"Losing my mom… it was…" She took a deep breath and then said, "Look… this isn't stuff we really have to discuss, okay? I mean, it's kind of personal. And you and I… we don't really know each other all that well, when you get down to it. I mean, we've known each other for a little while, but not enough for me to feel comfortable discussing it with you."
"Are you certain?"
He was behind her then, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. She felt the strength in it then, even more so than when he had rested his hand atop hers earlier. Part of her wanted to embrace him, to just flee from the turmoil going through her mind by disappearing into his large and powerful arms. But she was feeling vulnerable at that moment, more so than she could recall in quite some time. Her gut reaction was to keep her distance from him, and after another moment's thought, that was exactly what she decided to do.
She stood quickly, gently brushing his hand away as she did so. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding more brusque than she would have liked.
"No need to apologize," he said mildly. "This is a very difficult time for you."
"I should be glad," she told him, although it was as if she were speaking more to herself than to him. "Really, I should be glad. I mean… if it's her, if it's really her… I get a second chance. Whatever the reasons, I get a second chance with her, and that's really the important thing, isn't it?"
"Is it?"
"Yes," she said firmly. "Yes, it is, and everything's fine, and we don't have to discuss it anymore. I appreciate your help, but I'm going to be fine, okay?"
"Okay."
"And I shouldn't be looking for things to be wrong with what should be a joyous moment. Lefler's Law Number Thirty-two: If life hands you lemonade, don't try to make lemons out of it. Do you agree?"
"If I knew what lemonade was, probably."
"Good. Good." She seemed about to say something else, but instead she quickly exited the room, leaving a more-than-puzzled Si Cwan wondering if there was something else he should have said.
II
IN SICKBAY, ENSIGN RONNI BETH lay back on a medical table, her wavy hair surrounding her face like a corona of curls. As she did so, Dr. Karen Kurdziel checked the scanner readings and nodded approvingly. Kurdziel was a trim, blue-haired woman with an apparently endless amount of patience and a keen sense of the absurd. Both of those were serving her well at that particular moment.
"I'm gonna kill him," Beth said for what seemed the hundredth time.
"I know you are," said Kurdziel. "You've made that painfully clear." She ran her tricorder over Beth's ankle. "That's healing up nicely. Look, do me a favor and stay off the slopes, okay, Ron? Even holodeck slopes are tricky for novice skiers."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ronni said impatiently. "Can I sit up?"
Kurdziel nodded and Beth sat up, pulling on her boot gingerly. "He was supposed to be with me," she fumed. "Did I tell you this?"
"Yes," Kurdziel said.
As if Kurdziel hadn't spoken, Beth continued,
"Christiano was supposed to meet me on the slopes. He promised me. Then he's running late, and I figure, no problem, so I start a trial run because I figure, you know, how difficult can this be?"
"And you found out." Kurdziel was trying to remain sympathetic, but even her infinite patience was beginning to flag. Beth had been involved with Ensign Christiano, who was in Engineering same as she was. But that relationship had apparently just crashed and burned, as Beth was quick to tell anyone who was stationary for longer than five seconds.
"Yeah, but that was nothing compared to finding out he was with another woman. And after the ring I gave him!"
"Ring?" This was news to Kurdziel. "What ring?"
"Got it off a dealer on space station K-Nineteen. Picked it up just before being assigned here. I was… I dunno… I was saving it for just the right guy. And I thought sure Christiano was him."
"So ask for it back," Kurdziel told her matter-of-factly.
"I'm not going to ask for it back!" Beth said indignantly. "It was a gift."
"If an engagement is broken off, isn't it customary to ask for the ring back?"
"But this wasn't part of an engagement. I just gave it to him because…" She looked down. "Because I really felt like he was the one. So I got ahead of myself and did something stupid. And now I know for next time. Live and learn."
"I'm sorry, Ensign."
"Well, it's a sorry galaxy, I guess."
She was about to say something else along those lines, but then she noticed something. She didn't want to point, because somehow it seemed rude, so instead she just angled her chin in the general direction of where she was indicating and asked, "She's up and around?"
Kurdziel looked where Beth was pointing and, by way of responding to the question, said, "Commander, You're looking fit."
Commander Shelby was striding across sickbay in her familiar confident manner. There was still some faint discoloration on her face from injuries sustained during a fairly battering excursion on the surface of Zondar, but at this point she seemed none the worse for wear from it.
"Feeling ready to get back to work?" Dr. Kurdziel asked.
"You could say that," Shelby said agreeably. She flexed her shoulder. "Still feel a little tightness, but Dr. Maxwell assures me that'll pass."
"If he says so, I'm sure it's true."
"Other than that, I've been judged fit for duty." She smiled, looking somewhat relieved. "I'm not much for sitting around and recuperating. Glad to be back in action."
"The way I heard it, you got back into action a little too… fast…" said Ronni Beth, her voice trailing off, realizing that, woozy from the painkiller she was under, she'd actually spoken aloud. Immediately she tried to figure out if there was some worse way she could have shoved her foot in her mouth. If it weren't for the painkiller…
Shelby, whose back was to her, slowly turned, her smile frozen on her face. "I beg your pardon?" she said with a voice that would have frosted a supernova.
"I'm sorry, I—Oh, look at the time," Beth said quickly, hopping off the table and trying not to hobble. "I'd better get go—"
"I asked you a question, Ensign," Shelby said, taking a half step that put her squarely in Beth's path, making it clear in a fairly unsubtle manner that Beth wasn't going anywhere.
"I…" She looked to Kurdziel for help, but Kurdziel simply shrugged in a way that said, You're on your own. Looking visibly pained, Beth said, "Well, word was that you went back to the bridge during a red alert, that you put us on a collision course with a sun, and that you passed out after seeing…"
"After seeing what?" pressed Shelby, no less icy.
Beth said something very quietly.
"I didn't catch that," prompted Shelby.
"Colors," Beth said more loudly. "Word is that you pointed into midair, said, 'Oh look! Colors!' and fainted dead away."
"And did 'word' also me
ntion," inquired Shelby, "that my maneuver toward the Zondarian sun saved this vessel and all aboard—including, might I point out, yourself?"
"As a matter of fact, yes," Beth admitted.
"Good. Because as long as the crew is having a laugh at my expense," said Shelby, raising her voice a bit so that it carried, catching the attention of others in sickbay, "it would be nice for them to remember that particular respect is to be accorded all senior officers of a starship. Particularly those senior officers who have, through their actions, kept everyone on the Excalibur in one piece. Understood?"
"Understood, Commander."
"Understood?" she said again, this time directing it to the general populace of sickbay, and she got nods from everyone there. With that settled, she squared her shoulders and walked out of sickbay.
* * *
Lefler's quarters were not especially large, but she'd never been much for anything fancy. She was more of a people person, really, and so spent very little time in her quarters. A friend of hers had once speculated that Robin Lefler had only one true fear in the galaxy, and that was of being alone. That her need to be with people was so incessant that solitude was utterly anathema. When informed of her friend's appraisal, Lefler had vehemently denied it while, at the same time, wondering to herself if there wasn't just a little bit of truth to it.
At this particular point in time, however, she wanted nothing but to be alone. Even though she was on duty, even though she should have by rights been heading up to the bridge, she had bolted into her quarters, the door sliding shut behind her. She closed her eyes, leaning against a bulkhead, and slowly shook her head. "It can't be her," she whispered. "She couldn't have done that. It can't possibly be her."
She said that several more times before gathering herself and going to one of her dresser drawers. She pulled it open, rummaged around for a moment, and then removed a holotube. It was a cylinder about six inches tall, and inside was a carefully preserved hologram of her mother, the late Morgan Lefler.