“Yeah, she was all over me when I went to pee.”
“Really?” Ben asked, visualizing the girl being swept away by the tides while he pointed and laughed. “What happened?”
“Nothing much.” Tim smiled coyly. “She shoved her tongue down my throat and started groping me, but I really had to piss. I barely managed to push her away so I could.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, I felt her up. She had a pretty nice body.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t go down on you then and there,” Ben commented, hoping that Tim wouldn’t say that she did.
“I bet she would have, yeah. But whatever.”
“You don’t sound very enthusiastic about the idea.”
“I don’t know, man.” Tim turned his back to the water and leaned against the rail. “She was hot and all, but-- After everything that went down in Kansas because my ex-girlfriend said I raped her, I don’t want something like that to happen again. The whole school turned against me. It’s just not worth it. I promised myself to only sleep with people who mean something to me.”
This statement blew away Ben’s foul mood. He meant something to Tim. Or maybe he wasn’t worried about a gay guy running around school saying he’d been raped. Such a claim wouldn’t be taken very seriously. Regardless, Ben chose to take this as a compliment.
Tim had a CD he wanted to listen to on the way home, giving Ben time to think while it blared from the speakers. What happened on the beach tonight had really opened his eyes. Girls found Tim just as irresistible as he did, which came as no surprise. Right now Tim was with Krista, who had a number of hang-ups, but it was only a matter of time before a girl came along who wasn’t put off by the European standard. One who would be more than happy to fulfill Tim’s sexual desires once she had gained his trust. When that happened, Ben would be thrown out with the weekly garbage.
If Tim was gay, or even bisexual, Ben had only a limited time to make him realize it before a different girl moved in on his territory. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part, but Tim was so affectionate, so giving when they had sex. It was totally different than the other guys. But what if he was wrong? What if Tim really was straight, and pushing the issue only ended up destroying what they had right now?
They pulled into Tim’s driveway just before midnight. He didn’t seem concerned about the hour. Obviously his parents kept him on a long leash as well.
“You really don’t mind walking home?” Tim asked him. “I’m sure I can manage driving there and back.”
“No. I’ll be fine.”
“All right.” They stood there awkwardly for a moment. Isn’t this where the goodnight kiss was supposed to take place?
“Enséñame a volar, mi mariposa hermosa,” Tim said suddenly. “It’s from a poem I-- Well, it’s from a poem.”
“What’s it mean?”
“‘Teach me how to fly, my beautiful butterfly.’” He reached out and ruffled Ben’s hair, his version of a parting kiss. “See you around.”
Ben watched Tim enter the house before making his way down the street, no longer uncertain. He would help Tim realize who he really was. He would teach him how to fly.
Chapter Ten
Little changed over the next six weeks, despite Ben’s determination. At times he hardly saw Tim at all. There was an unspoken agreement that they wouldn’t interact at school, although they would occasionally see each other in the hall, making only small gestures in acknowledgement. Often Ben would initiate these “chance” meetings during the times when Tim was more aloof than usual.
Then there were days when Tim was as hungry and affectionate as the first time they slept together. He stayed the night sometimes at Ben’s house, his parents generously not making a fuss over him having a guy over. Karen argued, to no avail, that it would be like a boy staying with her. Luckily his sister had no clue who Tim was or of his status with the popular kids. To a senior, anyone younger was a scrub.
The sleepovers were usually spent doing the normal sort of things: movies, video games, and takeout pizza. Once the house was quiet it inevitably became intimate between them. Sex was now more exploratory, their prior urgency relaxed into desire. Tim was even comfortable enough to return Ben’s oral favors, although the topic of sexuality was still completely taboo. Ben didn’t mind too much. How could he complain when he was waking up next to the hottest guy in school?
There was, however, one problem that he couldn’t ignore: Krista Norman. Tim was still dating her. Ben no longer inquired about sex between them, but it was clear from a few negative comments that it wasn’t going well. Ben couldn’t figure out why Tim stayed with her and it became a point of contempt. Even mentioning her name was enough to spark an argument.
The issue came to a head in late October, just a few days before Ben’s birthday. He hadn’t seen Tim the weekend before because he and Krista had been out on a double date with Bryce and his girlfriend. Ben intentionally decided not to call him afterwards, and for the next three days hadn’t heard from him. While doing some early birthday shopping at the mall with his mom, Ben spotted them both. Krista, as usual, had Tim’s arm in a death grip, as if he would come to his senses at any moment and try to escape.
Ben tried to steer his mom into a shop before they neared, but she had her own mind about where they were going and soon saw the couple. She started to say hello to Tim when Ben hissed for her to keep quiet. She did, mostly out of puzzlement. Tim gave a little nod as they passed by, his girlfriend oblivious as she gawked at a nearby jewelry store. As soon as Krista dragged Tim away to see it, Ben’s mother badgered him with a series of questions.
“I thought you two were together?” she insisted.
“No, he’s straight,” Ben answered through gritted teeth.
“Oh, come on!” she protested. “I’m not deaf, you know. I’ve heard what you two get up to at night.”
Ben shrugged and turned away. “I’m working on it,” he replied.
The next evening Ben was taking out the trash when the thumping of jogging feet attracted his attention.
“Hey,” Tim said as he slowed to a stop in front of Ben, panting happily.
“Ankle still doing all right?” Ben asked without smiling.
“Yeah. Still a little sore but as good as can be expected.” He beamed at Ben, who still failed to respond. “You look like you wouldn’t mind spraining it again.”
“Not really,” Ben answered evenly. “I’m just not in a good mood.”
“Well, maybe I can cheer you up,” Tim offered. “Let’s go up to your room.”
His intent was clear as he stood with his hands on each hip, still breathing heavily from running and flashing his winner’s smile. He smelled of sweat and freshly cut grass. Ben wanted nothing more than to strip off those damp clothes, but his frustration prevailed.
“Why don’t you call Krista if you’re so horny?” he spat.
“Not this again,” Tim groaned. “Jesus Christ! What does it matter?”
“It matters to me! Why are you even with her? You never have anything nice to say about her. She doesn’t put out; she’s not even the prettiest girl in school.”
“Yeah, Bryce already has that one.”
Ben scowled at this and considered walking away, but before he did he gave it one last shot. He dropped the anger from his voice, and asked sincerely, “Who do you like more, Krista or me?”
“You,” Tim shrugged. “I like you more. When you’re not pissed at me at least.”
“Who do you sleep with? It’s not Krista, is it?”
“No.” Tim made sure the street was empty. “I sleep with you.”
“So why do you need her when you have me?”
Tim looked off into the distance, shaking his head slowly, a frown forming on his face. He brushed the sweat out of his eyes and looked back at Ben, considering him for a moment before he turned away.
“I’ll see you around,” Tim said as he resumed jogging down the street.
/> Ben waited for him to change his mind, to come back and apologize. When he didn’t, Ben swore and laid into the trashcans, knocking them over and spilling their contents into the street. He kept kicking them until his anger was purged and he was exhausted. Then he began to cry.
* * * * *
Ben’s birthday fell on the twenty-seventh, just a few days before Halloween. Ben wasn’t robbed of any extra presents, like those poor unfortunate souls who had birthdays close to Christmas, but there were a few parties in his childhood where everyone dressed in their costumes early. He also tended to receive more horror-themed presents due to the unique shopping opportunities of the season.
This year his big day was on a Sunday, meaning his relatives were all free to turn an otherwise private celebration into a circus. Ben was glad for it this time. Not only did it mean more gifts, but it helped keep his mood high. He hadn’t talked to Tim since their argument, which tore at his heart, but lately he was feeling better. Much of this was due to Allison, who had temporarily thwarted the ban against their friendship and was able to attend his party.
“This is supposed to be a date with Ronnie, so I expect you to put out,” she teased him upon her arrival.
They needed this day together. The talent show had recently been pushed back until the end of the school year. The reasoning behind this was that freshmen might feel excluded from entering since it was too early in the year for them to have adjusted. Mrs. Hammond was distraught, but Ben and Allison were relieved because they still hadn’t chosen a song. The downside was the loss of their private time in the auditorium.
Presents took top priority in the Bentley family, even preceding the traditional cake and candles. So far Ben had received clothes from his parents, a wad of cash from his grandmother, a new Discman and CDs to go with it, a journal he could write in that he would probably never use because it wasn’t electronic, and a couple of PlayStation games from his sister. He didn’t have a PlayStation yet, but he could tell from his mom’s sly look that he was only two months away from getting one.
Allison bought him a suit jacket they had discovered at a secondhand store earlier in the year. The jacket had been too expensive for him at the time and was missing most of its buttons. Not only had she sprung for it as gift, but she bought some suave new buttons and put those home ec skills to use by sewing them on. The end result was retro-chic and delightfully unique. He couldn’t wait to wear it when the weather became cooler.
Ben’s mother was about to light the candles on the cake when the doorbell rang. Thinking a relative had arrived late, Ben ran to answer it, happy to leave all the fuss behind for a moment. His heart lurched when the door opened to reveal Tim. Of course he had been invited, but that was before they had fought. Even before their falling out, he hadn’t expected Tim to actually show up.
“Hey!” Ben said, not masking his surprise. “Uh, come on in!”
“That’s okay. I just wanted to bring this by.”
Ben looked down to see a thin present about three feet tall. Unless it was the largest book in the world, Ben guessed it might be art or a framed poster.
“Oh, hi!” came Mrs. Bentley’s voice from behind. “I was wondering when you’d show up! Come in and grab some cake.”
“No really, I--”
“Come on, don’t let Wilford get out the door or we’ll never see him again.”
Tim stepped inside, his posture shy and stooped. Ben’s mother shut the door behind him to finalize the deal, winking at Ben on her way back to the kitchen.
“Time to meet the family,” Ben chuckled. “The extended version, too.”
“Great,” Tim said, trying a sheepish smile.
They stood there, considering each other before Ben was called back into the dining room. Tim followed and was soon assaulted by a slew of greetings, handshakes, and even hugs from some of the older ladies. Introducing Tim to Allison was surreal, since they were the two people closest to Ben and yet their paths had never crossed. Tim seemed unsure how to behave around her, but her knowing smile said that she already knew all of Ben’s secrets.
“Wait, everyone!” Mrs. Bentley declared. “We have one more present before we light candles.”
“No, you can open it later,” Tim said. “Really,” he added desperately when Ben took it from him.
“That’s all right, we’re in no hurry,” grandma crowed.
“It’s just something I--” Tim began as Ben started ripping the paper away. Whatever he had planned on saying was lost in his throat.
The wrapping paper fell away to reveal streaks of red, orange, yellow, and pink. The painting was abstract, a war of hot colors interlocking and swarming together. In their midst was something that looked very much like a heart. Two hearts, actually, overlapping so close that they appeared as one. Ben thought it was beautiful.
“Isn’t that gorgeous?” Ben’s mother praised while clapping her hands together. “Did you paint that yourself?”
Tim opened his mouth to answer, but Ben’s sister spoke first.
“It looks like someone barfed up paint on a canvas.”
“We should have cut your tongue out at birth,” Mr. Bentley scolded.
“It’s just something I found somewhere,” Tim said dismissively. “You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want.”
“I love it!” Ben said.
Mrs. Bentley took the pressure off Tim by lighting the candles and coercing everyone into singing Happy Birthday. Ben smiled, content to let others sing for a change. Allison finished off with an extra verse sung diva-style, which sent everyone into fits of applause when finished. Deciding what to wish for was easy. Ben knew exactly what he wanted as he blew out the candles.
There was little time to catch up with Tim. Ben was caught in a whirlwind of relatives who wanted to know what he had been up to, offer advice on what he should do with his life, or simply hear him sing. While he was holding court with them, he tried to keep an eye on Tim, who was being cared for by Allison. Already she had heroically steered him away from Karen and their equally boorish cousin. If he wasn’t mistaken, Tim was beginning to relax in her presence.
As the party wound down, Ben suggested to Allison that she call Ronnie and they all head down to Houston to check out some of the haunted houses. He didn’t bother asking Tim what he thought of the idea. It was his birthday after all. As the last of the relatives left, Ronnie showed up and whisked them all away in his beat up old SUV.
Tim clammed up again in Ronnie’s presence, no doubt worrying about their relationship being exposed to yet another person who went to their school. This didn’t last long. Ronnie found a football game on the radio and soon they were talking the indecipherable language of sports. Allison and Ben exchanged glances and rolled their eyes before laughing.
Ronnie and Tim kept the sports talk going as they stood in line at the Horror Hotel, one of Houston’s newer haunted houses that Ben had never visited. Allison and Ben stood behind, arms linked together as they pretended to be dating each other. They hoped by doing this that they would make Tim and Ronnie look like the gay couple. They even attempted to trade knowing looks with a few other people in line.
The haunted house was really good, much better than those in previous years, utilizing just the right amount of scare coupled with humor and creativity. Allison could really scream, too. As the group wound their way through narrow corridors strewn with cobwebs, Ben jumped more in response to her shrill exclamations than from the monsters.
As original as the Horror Hotel was, there were still many of the same staples found in every haunted house, such as the pitch-black maze. These always stirred up claustrophobia in Ben, but his fear dissipated when Tim put a hand over his mouth and pulled him aside. They stumbled along the wall until reaching a dead end, the voices of Allison and Ronnie fading away as they sought their way out. Ben found himself pressed up against a wall, Tim’s voice tickling his ear.
“I broke up with her.”
“With Krista?”
“Yeah. You were right. It’s you I like and it’s you I want.”
Before Ben could respond, Tim’s mouth was on his. They pawed and groped at each other in the dark, their bodies pressing together. The hardness of Tim’s pecs was soon joined by the hardness in his pants. Ben reached down for his zipper when someone bumped into them from behind and screamed.
“Boo!” Tim yelled, causing a chorus of girlish squeals to flee from them. “Let’s get out of here,” he laughed as he took Ben by the hand. He held on to it until the very end when the inevitable chainsaw-wielding cannibal sent them scrambling out the exit.
Allison and Ronnie were waiting for them, one looking clueless, the other wise to what might have delayed them. Stomachs grumbling, they found a steakhouse, the topic of sports once again dominating every conversation. Allison and Ben swore to each other to never double date again.
* * * * *
“I have another present for you,” Tim murmured as the SUV drove away from Ben’s house, taking Allison and Ronnie with it.
“I’m sure I can guess what that is,” Ben said.
“Maybe not,” Tim retorted. He pulled something from his pocket and shook it once, causing a simple necklace of metal beads to unravel, the sort that military dog tags usually hung from. Tim placed it around Ben’s neck.
Ben looked down to see what was hanging from it and found a perfectly common house key. “What’s this?” he asked.
“It’s just in case you ever get the urge to come see me in the middle of the night.”
“A key to your parent’s house?” Ben asked disbelievingly. “So I can sneak in? Sounds dangerous!”
“Sounds exciting,” Tim corrected. “You can try it out tonight. My parents are probably getting in bed right about now. Meet me in half an hour?”
Tim didn’t wait for an answer. He just grinned seductively and headed down the street. Ben went inside and made an appearance for his parents, mentally debating whether or not to tell them he was going out again. He decided against it, just in case they tried to keep him home. Instead he said he was going to bed early and headed up to his room.