“So I take it you’re still in college?” Jace asked.
“Yeah, up at Columbia College in Chicago.”
“How do you like it?”
Ben shrugged. “It’s all right.”
“I couldn’t wait to get out,” Jace said. “The only good thing about college was having four extra years to figure out what I wanted to do.”
“I didn’t know flight attendants went to college,” Ben said, considering too late how it might sound, but Jace didn’t appear offended.
“It’s not a requirement. It’s just that-- Well, what do you want to be when you grow up? What’s your major?”
“I have no idea,” Ben chuckled. “It changes on a daily basis.”
“There you go. Paying tuition is just an expensive way of buying time.”
“So I take it you didn’t always want to be a stewardess?” Ben taunted.
Jace smiled. “I originally wanted to be a nurse.”
“That’s cool. What changed your mind?”
“I started to doubt that I’d be able to handle the job emotionally. In the long term it either depresses you or you become numb. I didn’t like the idea of either happening.”
“Hm.” Ben eyed the plates of the other diners, impatient for his own to arrive. “Can I ask you a very direct question without you getting mad at me?”
Jace cocked an eyebrow. “Sure.”
“How come flight attendants always act so pissy?”
“Was I so terrible to you?” Jace laughed. “No, I know what you mean. The reason we act a little, uh, irritable sometimes is because people misunderstand our job. Everyone thinks that we’re the waiters and waitresses of the sky, when we’re not.”
“You’re not?”
“Not at all. Our primary duty is to ensure the well-being of the passengers. There are a number of safety checks and procedures that we are responsible for, and I don’t just mean the emergency demonstration that everyone ignores. Ensuring the health and safety of every passenger is a flight attendant’s primary function. It’s much more than just food service, and there are a great number of unsung heroes who have saved lives because of the skills required for the position.”
“Wow.” Ben had to respect Jace’s passion for his job. “I didn’t know that.”
“The first-ever stewardess was a nurse,” Jace continued. “Ellen Church. Before her there were only stewards, and they really were just errand boys. Ellen Church realized that a nurse had a number of skills useful in an emergency, and the rest is history. Reading her story is what made me want to be a flight attendant. That, and the travel.”
Plates appeared on the table, barely noticed through the conversation. Jace spoke more about his job and the long miles involved before asking about Ben’s life and discussing the different possible options for his future. Ben had never dated someone as old as Jace, and he was finding the stability of his life comforting. Guys around his own age were just as confused as he was about the future. Jace had figured out what to do with his life, something Ben admired greatly.
They talked for hours, even after the food had disappeared, until Ben announced that he had to make his way home. Jace paid, citing that it was a crime to expect a college student to afford anything, and drove Ben back to his parents’ car. They stood beside the vehicle, making small talk as they both wondered how the goodbye would work.
“This is no place for a first kiss,” Jace said, gesturing to the grey landscape of the parking lot. “You could come home with me, meet the cat.”
“Not on the first date,” Ben smiled.
“Nothing has to happen,” Jace said easily.
“Trust me,” Ben grinned, “if I get you somewhere private, something will happen.”
“Well, well! I guess that means I get to see you again?”
“How about Thursday?” Ben offered. Sooner would have been fine, but he felt it best to play a little hard to get.
“It’s a deal,” Jace agreed. “Look, I’m kissing you tonight, but I refuse to do it here. Just follow me in your car for a minute and I promise I’ll let you go home afterwards.”
“Okay.”
Jace led him out of the parking garage and two blocks down the road before pulling over at a park. It wasn’t the sort with trees and charming pathways; rather it was flat and cleared for different sporting events.
“Are you sure about this?” Ben asked as he exited the car.
“No,” Jace responded looking around. “I’m improvising. Over there.”
Jace took him by the hand and led him across the grass to a baseball diamond. Ben thought they were heading for the bleachers, but Jace led him instead to one of the bases.
“First base?” Ben asked. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I assure you,” Jace said dramatically, pulling Ben close, “I’m quite serious.”
Jace kissed him, his warm body chasing away the winter chill as it pressed up against him. His lips were soft but commanding, and Ben’s body responded instantly, catching fire and wanting more.
“Second base is just over there,” Ben suggested.
“Not on the first date,” Jace said with a smile, gently detaching himself and walking Ben back to his car. Ben watched him in the rearview mirror as he pulled away, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to wait three days to see him again.
* * * * *
Jace’s answering machine dutifully took Ben’s call the next afternoon. Afterwards Ben loitered around his parents’ house, waiting for the phone to ring. Why had he played so hard to get? He was only in town a few weeks. He didn’t have time to be coy with Jace.
In the evening Ben left to have dinner with Allison, leaving her number with his parents and asking them to give it to Jace if he called. Ben found his best friend in surprisingly high spirits. He suspected she still had a great amount of sorrow beneath the surface, but was proud of her for putting on a brave face. He filled her in on the date’s details while enjoying Allison’s homemade lasagna.
The phone rang shortly after eleven. Allison answered it, smiled broadly, and handed the receiver to Ben.
“Hope I didn’t call too late,” Jace said, sounding tired.
“Not at all,” Ben replied, worrying that the other man’s enthusiasm for him had waned.
“I’m afraid I have to cancel our date,” Jace continued. “I was called in to work today.”
“I thought you were on vacation?”
“I was supposed to be. There have been a number of ‘mysterious’ holiday-inspired illnesses, and I have to pick up the slack. I’m calling from Boston right now.”
“That sucks. When are you going to be home again?”
“Friday afternoon. Do you have any plans for New Year’s?”
“Uh, I don’t know.” Ben looked at Allison. He didn’t want to leave her alone on a holiday considering the situation. Then again, would she really feel like partying so soon? “New Year’s?” he repeated, asking both Jace and Allison at the same time.
Allison rolled her eyes, smiled, and waved her consent. Ben knew her well enough to tell that she honestly didn’t mind. He confirmed plans with Jace, and talked to him a while longer before hanging up. He had thought waiting an extra few days was going to be hard. Now it would be even longer.
As it turned out, the time went quickly. He still had a lot of catching up to do with his family and much to take care of with Allison. They retrieved her father’s ashes together and drove down to Corpus Christi, the city where Mr. Cross was raised and had met Allison’s mother. They scattered his ashes out into the Gulf and cried together--Allison because she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her father, Ben because it hurt him to see his friend in so much pain.
“He was a bastard,” Allison said, shocking Ben. “You know I found a box of love letters the other day? A whole shoebox full hidden in his closet. Some of them were from my mother, but most were from him.”
Ben couldn’t imagine Mr. Cross doing something as emotional as writing sappy pr
ose, and the surprise must have shown on his face because Allison responded to it.
“I didn’t know either,” she said. “He must have loved her so much that it broke his heart when she died, but it pisses me off. Mom might have been gone, but I wasn’t, and I could have used that love. Instead he bottled his feelings up inside, but the worst part is that now I understand why. Losing him makes me hurt so bad that I want to do the same.”
Allison began crying again, and Ben put an arm around her.
“You won’t though,” he said. “You’re better than that. What did you always tell me when I broke up with Tim and was so miserable?”
“Lean into it.” Allison managed a laugh.
“That’s right. Lean into those feelings and let them wash through you. As wretched as they might make us feel, they’re a part of us, and we shouldn’t ignore them. It only hurts worse if we do.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Allison said, laying her head on his shoulder.
“Me too.”
Silently, they watched the sea gulls dive and soar on the horizon. The skies were winter gray but the weather was warm enough to be comfortable. Ben couldn’t ignore how much more he felt at home here than in Chicago.
“Don’t go back,” Allison said, sitting upright and hanging her legs over the dock’s edge.
“What?” Ben asked, taken aback.
“I’m tired of you being so far away.” Her best doe eyes were focused on him. “I need you close. Especially now.”
“That’s not fair,” Ben countered, but his heart wasn’t in the argument. As soon as he had stepped out of the airport into mild weather he had once considered cold, he knew he was home again. Chicago felt like a distant dream, but still a part of him was reluctant to return to the world he had grown up in.
“Austin is much more liberal,” Allison said. “It’s nothing but weirdoes. Being gay is about as risqué as white bread there.”
Austin could be okay. Sure it was Texas, but also an unexplored city. Home, yet somewhere new. The idea sounded good, but he intended to show some resistance. That way he would score twice as many brownie points. “Why don’t you go to school in Chicago?”
“And switch schools mid-semester? Only an idiot would do that!”
“Thanks!”
“Well, an idiot or a very committed best friend.” Allison blinked seductively.
“I’ll think about it,” he promised, even though his mind was already made up. The idea of not having to muck through the snow, of not having to worrying about Mason breaking in again was too tempting. As much as Ben enjoyed the idea of living far away from everything he knew, he had tired of homesickness. Not to mention that he’d never had a friend like Allison before or since.
“All right. Done thinking about it,” he said. “We’ll have to get our own place. I’m not moving into your dorm!”
The first authentic grin on Allison’s face since her father’s death was worth the hassle of switching schools. The big hug she gave Ben only sweetened the deal.
Chapter Eighteen
The better part of New Year’s Eve was spent in front of the mirror, where Ben tried on every possible combination of clothing, even dipping into the closet for items he hadn’t worn in years. Jace had invited him to a party, but Ben didn’t know if this was a casual shindig or formal affair. Considering it was New Year’s Eve, everyone there might be decked out in tuxedos. Ben tried to find an outfit suitable for all possible scenarios, but in the end he could only hope his navy blue dress shirt and jeans were passable. Next came an endless battle with his hair, which needed to be cut, followed by cologne that had to be washed off in favor of another scent. Once he felt presentable, Ben drove into downtown Houston and scouted for the address that Jace had given him.
An attractive and transparently drunk woman answered the door, waving him in without even looking at him properly. The party was in full swing, loud music pumping and people swaying to the beat, although instead of dancing, most of them were merely trying to keep their balance. T-shirts mingled with tuxes, assuring Ben that he wasn’t the only one uncertain of the dress code. Ben made his way through the apartment twice, excusing himself more than once for squeezing between conversations and stepping on toes, before he spotted Jace. He was seated on a couch and had his arm around a woman who looked quite a bit like the person who had answered the door. In fact, almost everyone here was of an indeterminate age and thin, with a certain vibe that suggested they were all flight attendants. For a moment Ben felt like he had stepped into some secret underground culture known only to those inside the airline industry.
Jace jumped to his feet when he saw Ben and wasted no time in kissing him deeply, causing a couple of bystanders to “woooo!” in appreciation.
“Well, hello to you, too!” Ben said with a flush.
“I’m glad you made it!” Jace grinned. “Did you have trouble finding the place?”
“A little bit, but--”
“Who’s this, then?” a woman exclaimed, taking a hold of Jace’s arm and ogling Ben.
Jace made the introductions, the first in a seemingly infinite series. Each time was the same--a courteous amount of interest was given to Ben, then Jace and his friends would talk about people and places Ben had no knowledge of. Jace’s popularity signaled good things about his personality, but Ben’s frustration was rising. He wanted to be alone with Jace and get to know him better, not listen to meaningless gossip. The frequent mention of someone named Sam, who was purportedly very cute, didn’t help either. Was this an ex-boyfriend?
“All right, see you later,” Jace said cordially to the latest visitor, his smile dropping once they were out of sight. “We have to get out of here,” he muttered from the corner of his mouth. “Let’s make a run for it.”
Ben didn’t need encouraging and made a beeline for the door. Jace was further behind, choosing a less direct path to avoid other potentially social situations.
“Sorry about that,” Jace said as they spilled out onto the street. “A party full of nosey coworkers wasn’t the best date idea. Where to now? A bar? Or something to eat?”
“Somewhere private.”
Jace forced back a smile. “There’s only one place that I know of. Are you sure?”
“Don’t read into it too much,” Ben said demurely. “I just need some quiet.”
Jace walked him to his car and Ben waited inside while Jace fetched his own. From there they drove to an increasingly unpleasant area of town. The neighborhood beyond the freshly locked car doors was run-down and poorly lit. Several rough-looking people drank and loitered on the sidewalks, some of them setting off fireworks. Ben hoped that this was some bizarre shortcut, but they parked only a few blocks later.
Jace gave him a funny look when Ben stepped out of the car. “You all right?”
“Yeah,” Ben said, slipping on a poker face.
“Hm. Where did you say you were from again?”
“The Woodlands. Why?”
Jace nodded as if that explained everything. “It might not be the prettiest neighborhood, but I’ve never had any trouble here.”
“It’s fine,” Ben insisted. “You should see my place in Chicago.”
A passage through one of the buildings led to a courtyard. Jace unlocked a door to a stairwell and an old-fashioned caged elevator, the sort that Ben had only seen in movies. It rattled loudly as they rode it to the top floor.
“Home sweet home!” Jace unlocked the only door in the tiny corridor. He flipped on a light switch and stepped aside so Ben could enter first.
Lights flickered into life, illuminating a sprawling studio apartment. The floors were hardwood, the walls raw brick. The décor was a mismatch of old furniture and antiques. Vintage advertisements hung on the wall, stewardesses from days gone by beaming above slogans or art deco airplanes. Ben noticed a pinball machine in one corner and a ladder leading up to a loft bed before a grey streak of fur sped across the room.
“Samson!” Jace declare
d happily as he reached down to pick the cat up. “We have a visitor.”
The cat rubbed its face against Jace’s chin before turning its head to regard Ben with large green eyes.
So this was Sam! That so many people knew of Jace’s cat meant he was one of those crazy cat people who talked about their pets like they were children, but that was preferable to Sam being a hot ex-boyfriend. Ben reached out to pet Samson, but the cat’s head dodged and came back around to smell his hand.
“Security scan initiated,” Jace said in a robotic voice. “Mm-hm. I think you’ve passed. Let’s see about getting you something to eat.”
Samson hopped to the floor and followed Jace to the large kitchen. Ben watched the cat being served a plate of canned food while taking in as many of the other details as possible. There was an inordinate number of paper fortunes lying around, implying that Jace liked Chinese takeout. He also enjoyed cooking, judging from the well-equipped kitchen.
Ben strolled back into the living area and headed for the bookshelf. The selection was almost exclusively biographies without any common theme. Jumbled together were politicians, comedians, historical figures, famous serial killers, and celebrities. The Dalai Lama was neighbors with Hitler, Ben noted with some amusement.
“I love reading about people’s lives,” Jace said from behind. “Do you read?”
“Yeah, but mostly fiction.”
“That’s what some of these are,” Jace said. “If you were writing an autobiography, would you really be able to resist the temptation to doctor the past? Who wants to write about crapping their pants in grade school when it’s more fun to exaggerate success and talk trash on old flames.”
“Good point,” Ben chuckled.
“Biographies are even worse since they are mostly speculation written by adoring fans, spoon fed false information from the celebrity’s agent. Regardless, I can’t help but read them. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine.”
Ben pulled his attention away from the books and noticed that Jace was holding two glasses of champagne. “Oh, wow! I didn’t hear the bottle pop!”