As they dozed off, Ben’s mind drifted to the distant teenage world he’d once inhabited. All of it seemed so far away. This new Tim, with his money and strange relationship with Eric, didn’t fit into that time and place and was still too new and alien for Ben’s comfort. Jace was reassuringly familiar, a solid part of the last two years that Ben intended to hold onto like flotsam in a storm-ravaged sea.
* * * * *
The cell phone came out of its drawer, but only two days later did Ben consider turning it on. His finger hovered over the power button, as if pressing it would summon a genie from its lamp. Not the big, blue, friendly variety either, but the sort who twisted the meaning of a wish before granting it. Ben hated that Tim was all alone inside his silent mansion, but at least there he didn’t pose a threat to his happily-ever-after with Jace. And so the genie bottle stayed plugged. They were just friends, after all. Friends could go days without speaking, weeks even.
Or about four days as it turned out. After class, Ben made a token appearance at home for Allison’s sake before rushing over to Jace’s apartment, stopping only to pick up their favorite Thai food. He took the steps two at a time and rapped on the door instead of struggling with his keys. The door swung open, but where someone tall and debonair should have stood, was someone brawny and completely unexpected.
“For a pizza boy, you’re pretty hot,” Tim said.
Mouth agape, Ben stared until Jace arrived on the scene. He gave a helpless little shrug from behind Tim before speaking. “Look who dropped by. Says he has a surprise for us.”
“It’s nothing, really,” Tim said, gesturing for Ben to come in as if it were his apartment.
This was getting a little creepy. Had Tim felt this way when Ben played stalker in high school? Surely Ben hadn’t been as transparent. Still, as stalkers went he could do a lot worse. He kissed Jace hello, which felt strangely like cheating, before heading to the living room to tackle his food. Let them do all the talking. He planned to keep his head down and his mouth full until the entire incident was over.
The doorbell rang, causing Tim to jump out of his seat just seconds after he had sat.
“That must be the pizza,” he said.
“Or another ex-boyfriend, who knows,” Jace murmured as he watched him leave the room. “So, that’s the famous Tim?”
Ben nodded, following it up with a sympathetic sigh. “How long has he been here?”
“Half an hour or so,” Jace answered, poking around in the Thai bag for any sign of a fortune cookie. “He’s a little different than I expected. You didn’t tell me that he looked so-- Uh…”
“Abercrombie and Fitch?”
“Exactly.”
“Well, maybe he’s here for a threesome,” Ben said in just the right tone to pass it off as a joke.
“You’re more than enough for me,” Jace replied smoothly. “Anyone else in the bedroom would only be an unwelcome distraction.”
Ben smiled, surprised by his feeling of relief. At least he could count on Jace not to develop any unwanted feelings for Tim.
“Look, Ben--” Whatever else Jace was going to say was cut short by Tim’s reappearance in the room, pizza balanced on one palm.
Ben bartered for a few pizza slices by offering some of his Thai food, and soon they were all eating a mix of both meals. The combination was strange and never meant to come together, but the same could be said about those dining. Ben watched while Tim focused on developing a rapport with Jace. Was he interested in who Ben had chosen to be with or was he sizing up the competition, gaining his trust and collecting data that he could later use?
Once the Italian-Thai meal was finished, Tim finally revealed his purpose in coming.
“I have a friend, well, the friend of a friend really, who is throwing a big birthday party at Splashtown in San Antonio.”
Ben didn’t know San Antonio had a Splashtown, but he assumed it was the same as the one in Houston: a massive water park full of pools and slides.
“He has the whole place booked just for his party,” Tim continued. “He just so happens to owe me a favor, and I asked if I could bring you guys along.”
The pretense for dropping by was weak, but Ben’s interest was piqued. Crowds and lines always limited the fun at theme parks, but there would only be so many guests at a birthday party. As a kid he’d always fantasized about never having to get off the rollercoaster, and this was the next best thing.
One look at Jace brought these fantasies to a screeching halt. The smile on Jace’s face was just the slightest bit too tight.
“We don’t have to go,” Ben told him when Tim slipped away to the restroom.
“But you want to,” Jace said.
“Well, yeah, it would be fun, but we could always go together some other time.”
“Do you plan on staying friends with Tim?” Jace asked. “He’s going to be in your life from now on?”
Ben cast a nervous glance toward the bathroom. He knew the risks, but he didn’t like the idea of abandoning Tim to his lonely life. Surely he had other friends too, but he seemed so happy to be around Ben, so grateful. “I guess so,” he answered.
“Then it’s a good idea for Tim to see us together as a couple.” Jace’s smile was not at all resentful, causing Ben to feel a sudden surge of love for him. Any other guy would be jealous and possessive, but Jace’s solution was to welcome Tim into their lives.
Still, the trip might be awkward. Tim brought out the impulsive teenager in Ben, while being around Jace encouraged him to be smart and responsible. Situations like these always made Ben feel like he had multiple personalities and left him unsure of how to act. If only there was only some way to disperse any tension before it began.
* * * * *
“Double date!” Allison sang as they all piled into the car.
Ben beamed at his secret agent. Allison was the solution to all of his problems. She was to keep whatever guy Ben wasn’t talking to busy. That way he could be himself around either one of them. Already she had outperformed his expectations, calling shotgun and sitting up front with Tim to keep him occupied. This worked for a short time, but soon Tim was craning his neck around to talk to Ben in the backseat as the car swerved dangerously.
At the next gas station they thanked various gods that they were still alive, and decided to switch plans. Allison hopped into the backseat with Ben, leaving Tim and Jace to talk to each other. Every time either of the guys in the front tried to talk to them, Allison and Ben would break into song or pretend to be deep in conversation. Eventually the two men were forced to keep each other company.
After a guard checked their names against a list, they were allowed into Splashtown. The restaurant nearest the gate was set up as birthday headquarters. The birthday boy turned out to be a toadish man of about fifty, whose fingers, wrists, and neck all strained under the weight of jewelry.
“Bling bling,” Ben muttered to Allison as they approached to wish him happy birthday. He couldn’t help but wonder what sort of favor the man owed Tim.
After some small talk they were free to strip down to their swimsuits and roam around the park. Ben did his best not to stare at Tim, but he hadn’t seen him shirtless since high school. His physique was a strange mix of the familiar and the unknown. The curves and lines of his muscles were mostly the same, just bigger, but he now had a scar running down his shoulder. Ben wondered at the story behind it. Where had he been the past five years and would his body feel different to the touch?
Some hurried mental exertion was necessary to keep from getting a boner. Looking away from Tim didn’t help because he ended up looking at Jace. His was a body that Ben knew well, since it had provided him hours of endless pleasure. Seeing Jace nearly nude only put Ben more in the mood. Allison was the only safe person to look at, an ironic truth considering how stunning she looked in her bikini.
Music pumped from the park’s loudspeakers, but otherwise the park appeared abandoned. Occasionally they would pass another group of
birthday guests, but most waterslides were without lines. The lifeguards on duty yawned in the sun, many only perking up when Allison came around. They were at the third set of slides, blue covered tubes that twisted in all directions, when Ben’s secret agent abandoned the war.
“You can’t leave me,” Ben complained. “You’re supposed to be my chaperone!”
“Just look at him!”
Allison nodded in the direction of a lifeguard who was casually flexing his ebony muscles. “And what do you mean, chaperone? I thought I was just running interference.”
“You know what I mean,” Ben said, tearing his eyes away from the lifeguard. “Are you sure you want to hang around here when there’s a whole park to explore?”
“As tempting as the prospect of spending the day with three gay guys is, I think I’ll take my chances with tall, dark, and interested over there.”
Down to three now, their little party hit the wave pool next, followed by tubing around the winding river before they headed back to the restaurant for some food. Afterwards they debated whether the “wait thirty minutes after eating” rule was an urban legend or not. In the end they compromised by lounging in the artificial lagoon.
Unlike the rest of the park, the lagoon’s waters were dark, the bottom lined with sand. Half the water was ringed by a beach, the other by a jumble of rocks coursing with waterfalls. Far from resembling any natural landscape, the lagoon was still a pleasant place to cool off.
The three men waded into the water, diving into the usual antics of splashing and dunking. Eventually Jace retreated to the beach to catch some sun while Tim went to explore the rocks. Ben floated on his back, idly watching the clouds drift across the azure sky. He was in danger of dozing off when Tim called out to him.
“Check it out! There’s a cave behind this one.”
Ben chuckled to himself. This was sure to make the evening news. Tim Wyman, budding archeologist, discovered a previously unknown cave in Splashtown today. Ben asked Jace if he was coming too, but his boyfriend didn’t respond, meaning that he was probably sleeping behind those sunglasses. Ben made a mental note to turn him over before he burned.
The central waterfall was the strongest, and it was here that Tim stood, the water coursing over him. He waited until Ben was near before holding an arm out, redirecting the water and creating a makeshift entrance. Ben bowed through, ending up in a small cave with an even smaller pool, the water only reaching his waist.
“You know this is where everyone comes to pee,” Ben said.
“Or to do other things,” Tim grinned, joining him in the water.
“They should put a hot tub in here,” Ben replied, doing his best to ignore the come-on. “That would be way cooler.”
“I liked hearing you sing today,” Tim said. “In the car. It was nice.”
“Thanks.” Ben flushed.
“Sometimes at night, on the very edge of sleep, I swear I could hear you singing.” Tim paused and laughed. “That sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Never in a million years did I think you’d be in my life again, that I really would be able to hear the sound of your voice.”
Ben looked to the ceiling, hoping to find some random detail to turn the conversation toward. This was where he was supposed to recognize Tim’s intentions and shoot him down, heading back out into the open where his boyfriend was waiting. His brain knew this was the best course of action. His body disagreed. His heart was just confused.
“Do you still paint?” Ben managed at last.
Tim remained silent until Ben looked at him. Then he moved in close. Ben started to say something, but Tim shook his head warningly, white tiger eyes locked onto their prey.
Ben remained frozen in place, his heart thudding furiously as Tim closed the gap between them. He stopped, just inches away, close enough that Ben could feel the heat of his skin. Tim reached up and touched a lock of hair above Ben’s right ear. Then his fingers slid to the back of his head, gently taking hold before pulling Ben in for a kiss.
At first Ben didn’t respond. The last part of him that still resisted wouldn’t allow his lips to move. But it was too late. The rules had been broken, trust had been betrayed. All that was left now was to enjoy it. He kissed back, stepping forward so that their bodies were pressed together. Their kissing worked into a frenzy, their hands grasping at each other as their increasingly hard cocks rubbed together through their swimsuits.
Then the breaking of the waterfall’s steady rhythm stopped them both.
“About done?” Jace asked evenly.
Ben shoved Tim away so hard he fell backward in the water. This left his bulge exposed, but it was clear from Jace’s expression that he had seen enough anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Ben apologized as Tim stood back up.
Jace didn’t look away from Ben. Already his look of anger had faded to disappointment.
“Maybe you should wait for us outside, Tim,” Jace suggested.
“I’m so sorry,” Ben sputtered once they were alone. “It just sort of happened. I don’t know--”
“It’s all right.”
Ben couldn’t believe his ears. “What?”
“I said it’s all right,” Jace repeated, sitting on the rocky shelf next to the entrance. “I knew something like this would happen eventually, if it hadn’t already.”
“I didn’t do anything with him before!” Ben said. “Just now, I promise.”
Jace shrugged, seemingly unconcerned.
“Aren’t you angry?”
“Not really. Old feelings don’t just disappear overnight. It’s normal that you and Tim still find each other attractive.”
“That’s it?” Maybe it was the hormones still coursing through his system, but Ben was starting to feel angry enough for the both of them. He would have been furious if he had caught Jace making out with someone. Ben wanted Jace to tell him off—he had it coming. Ben had done something wrong and now it was time for him to pay the price. Or were Jace’s feelings for Ben not as strong as his own?
“I wish you were pissed,” Ben blurted. “At least then I could tell that you care.”
Jace looked confused. “I care,” he said, his irritation rising as he stood. “I just thought I’d give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“What’s there to doubt?” Ben demanded. “You saw everything. I did something stupid, and you should hate me for it.”
“I’d never hate you,” Jace said solemnly.
Ben bit back tears. An angry Jace would have been so much easier to deal with. Instead Jace was hurt. Normally when he was unhappy, Ben would hold him and kiss away his pain, a gesture that would now be tacky considering where his lips had just been.
A shadow moved behind the waterfall before Tim pushed through again.
“Hey,” he said to Jace. “It’s my fault. I grabbed him and started kissing him. He wasn’t even kissing back. Really. Please don’t blame him.”
The apology might have been effective if Tim wasn’t grinning while delivering it.
With the lightning fast reflexes of a cobra, Jace decked Tim. The smacking noise was still echoing throughout the cave when Tim fell back into the water. Jace grabbed him after his head submerged and leaned him against a wall until he recovered enough to stand on his own.
“How’s that for angry?” Jace said to Ben. “Come on, we’re going home.”
Ben risked only the smallest glance at Tim as he followed Jace out of the cave. He expected to see shame, humiliation, maybe even anger. Instead Tim’s jaw was set with determination.
* * * * *
Hormones could impair judgment, sometimes even more potently than drugs or alcohol. Ben felt he was living proof of this. One act of impulse that had lasted seconds now threatened to destroy years worth of love with Jace. Who knew that a single kiss could be so expensive?
The rental car they were cruising along in wasn’t free either, but Ben felt lucky to be a passenger in it. Jace had insisted on walking to the dealership alone, which was only down
the road from Splashtown, but as he began his hike Ben honestly thought that would be the last he’d ever see of him. Alone in a near empty parking lot, he had little else to do but replay the mistake he’d made over and over again. When the rental car pulled up he had almost wept with relief.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled for what felt like the thousandth time. For once Jace didn’t respond with his standard “It’s all right.” Maybe he had finally decided that it wasn’t.
Jace shifted in his seat and sighed. “I had a close call once.”
“Close call?”
“About six months ago. On a flight to Boston. We had a real nervous flyer, a younger guy. I’m not sure he was even eighteen, but he was attractive. Very attractive.” Jace glanced over at Ben with no malice in his eyes. “Anyway, he was one of those rare people who have a genuine phobia of flying. He had never flown before and had no idea of his own fear until we were in the air. I had to sit with him the entire flight and talk him through it while holding his hand.”
“That’s not quite the same,” Ben pointed out.
“Let me finish. Once we landed he suggested we have a drink together. I suspected he only wanted someone old enough to buy him alcohol from the bar, but I figured he had earned it and I was off work for the day, so--”
“Did something happen?” Ben asked, wanting to hear the end of the story. The anticipation was torture.
“Almost,” Jace continued. “Sexuality eventually became a topic, and even though I mentioned you during the course of the evening, he still tried to kiss me when we were saying goodbye. He was hot, and I won’t lie and say that I didn’t want to, but I made my choice when I decided to be with you.”
“So you didn’t?”
“No. I didn’t.”
Ben sighed, feeling relieved but now twice as guilty. Even the idea of Jace cheating hurt him. How much pain had his infidelity caused Jace?
“There’s a difference though,” Jace continued. “You were once in love with Tim. You probably still are to some extent. You two have a history, and that complicates matters.”