Canderick was just confirming a one a.m. Sunday morning pussy-munching reservation with a Samantha Peterson when a man who resembled Richard Roundtree’s character Shaft barged into his office, wearing a black suit and producing a gold badge.
“I’m detective Clifford Bruckheimer,” he announced. “I have a few questions for you, Mr. Mann.”
“Sure, detective,” Canderick said, waving to one of the two chairs in front of his desk. “Have a seat. How might I be of service?”
“I’ll get straight to the point. I’m investigating a series of home invasions.”
“I’m a little confused, detective. What does that have to do with me?”
“The victims all have one thing in common,” he said before dropping the bomb. “They all have mortgage loans with this bank, even the latest victim, one Mrs. Sasha Twissle.”
“Well, Detective, if I can be of any assistance in a possible arrest, please let me know.”
“Mr. Mann, I’ll be in touch.” The detective stood and left.
Canderick made sure the detective was gone before making a cell phone call.
“Spanky,” he whispered into his headset with his eyes glued to the door. “Did y’all get rid of the shit yet?”
“Boss, why didn’t you tell us that bitch had pitbulls? They almost chewed Buckwheat’s balls off.”
“How was I supposed to know Sasha had dogs? Anyway, we have trouble. A detective just left here snooping around. Now, I lined up one more job with this chick, Samantha Peterson, and then we lay low.”
“Canderick, I’m not complaining about the money you puttin’ in a nigga’s pocket, but what the hell are you doing this for? It’s not like you need the money. You’re an executive of the collections department—”
“Not just collections, but senior executive of operations,” Canderick corrected Spanky.
“Whatever. The point is, you making plenty of bread there. I know we don’t get into each other’s personal lives. Is it the rush that drives you? They got a name for people like you—kleptomaniac. A klepto that’s over collections—”
“Senior executive of operations.”
“Whatever. Buckwheat and I got a new name for you. Your new handle is Klepto-Collecto. Get it? It’s a play on your kleptomaniac tendencies and you being a supervisor over the collections department.”
“That’s senior executive of operations,” Canderick reminded him. In some kinky kind of way he liked how the new name sounded. Yeah, that was him: Klepto-Collecto.
He’d gotten a picture-text of Samantha before the detective’s intrusion. On his BlackBerry, Canderick pulled up the picture-text of her rocking a string bikini. She was a forty-something-year-old housewife who looked late-twenties, with the body of a video vixen. Usually, Canderick would have his secretary draw up the mortgage modification papers, but this time he wanted to work them personally. He set to work, fantasizing about eating from Samantha’s honeypot while still trying to sniff Sasha’s scent in his mustache.
• • •
Samantha Peterson had negotiated her own terms: It was to be an oral-only affair with a two-hour time limit. Letting one of his MWPs dictate terms was a first for Canderick. He couldn’t give a good got-damn about her terms and conditions because Samantha looked too pussy-licous for him to waste the precious little time she’d allocated him by sticking dick to her. This was some pussy he was gonna enjoy sucking on.
It was one o’clock Sunday morning and Canderick wasn’t wasting any time. When he’d arrived at Samantha’s crib she tried to give him some old melancholy musical about her husband losing all their savings in a Ponzi scheme. But Canderick wasn’t Oprah; he wasn’t there for a boo-hoo session. Canderick was there to eat pussy. And he was doing just that, with his head between her voluptuous thighs, lapping at her pudding like tomorrow wasn’t his to physically call home.
To be forty, Samantha was in shape. Not one stretch mark in sight. Her six-pack abs almost mirrored his. Samantha’s skin was the color of toffee. Her toenails were polished to perfection, and they were now raised as high as she could get them. Canderick was tongue-fucking her like his dick had traded places with his tongue. When they’d first started, Canderick noticed that Samantha was trying hard to fight it. She wasn’t super-religious, but she kept on chanting about burning in hell for dealing with the devil. And now here she was, hot, sweaty, moaning, and playing with her nipples as Canderick sucked hard enough to dislocate her clitoris.
Samantha clenched, pulling the back of Canderick’s head deeper into her na na as a tsunami of an orgasm washed her away. But Canderick kept on sucking until his time was up.
• • •
It wasn’t until Tuesday that Canderick got a phone call at the office bringing horrific news.
“Boss,” Spanky said in a voice filled with panic. “I think Buckwheat killed that bitch Samantha.”
Canderick just sat there, not saying a word.
“We were up inside her crib when Buckwheat knocked over a glass shelf. Samantha got out of bed to investigate and Buckwheat panicked. He cracked her over the head with the pistol—fucking blood was everywhere. We dragged her to the closet and stuck her in.”
“Is she dead?” Canderick asked, holding his breath.
“Don’t know, but you better get lost. The police picked up Buckwheat and—”
The phone dropped the call.
At that moment, Claudette led Detective Bruckheimer into Canderick’s office with two beefy uniformed officers in tow.
“Canderick Mann, get up. You are under arrest in connection with the murder of Samantha Peterson,” the detective announced.
“I didn’t kill anybody,” Canderick boldly protested while one of the officers handcuffed him.
The detective went on to say, “We just picked up Butch McCoy. I suggest the next time you pick your crew make sure they’re not stupid like Butch McCoy, aka Buckwheat, and Calvin Reed, aka Spanky. Your two geniuses left their prints all over the closet door where they stuffed Samantha Peterson’s body. Butch McCoy gave you up, Klepto-Collecto. Gentleman, take this bad boy away.”
Claudette waved as they led Canderick away.
“I told you that I would have my happy ending.” Claudette was only too happy to gloat.
With no emotion, hands behind his back, Canderick walked, trying to sniff Samantha’s scent from his mustache. He wore a stupid little grin on his face. Kleptomania had robbed him of a promising career and was about to steal his freedom. Canderick knew he was headed to prison, where the musty odors of inmate ass and feet were the only scents that would settle inside his mustache for a long time.
The Ultimate Affair
Rae
Tandy walked into the bathroom. She watched Darryl as he stood in front of the sink, splashing water on his face. She made her way over to Darryl, then dropped down to her knees. She spread Darryl’s cheeks apart and blew into his asshole. Darryl moaned as his knees buckled. Tandy began flicking her tongue back and forth over Darryl’s anus. Tandy had never done this before, not even for her husband, Omar, who was Darryl’s brother.
Darryl grabbed the bathroom counter as his legs began to shake. It felt good to have Tandy’s head buried between his ass cheeks, lapping his anus. It felt like Tandy knew he was the one for her.
She was one of those prissy women. She was a light-skinned black woman with pineapple-colored skin. She had a cute face with tiny features, except for her big, round chestnut-colored eyes. The way she pranced around made a nigga think he could only have her missionary style.
Darryl listened to Omar brag about how good Tandy was in bed. How she could make him—who had fucked damn near every women in Richmond, Virginia, and had been sucked off by some of the best—cum in a few seconds whenever she slurped on his dick. He bragged about how they had porn-style sex. When Darryl first saw Tandy, he thought his brother had been lying about how she got down in bed but later found out everything he had said was true. Hell, Omar even left out some details.
/> Darryl enjoyed the wetness between his cheeks but he was still tired from the three times that he and Tandy had romped between the sheets earlier. He knew Tandy was bucking for round four and he didn’t have the energy to deliver. He reached down to grab Tandy’s hands and pull her to her feet but, before he could blink, Tandy slid her tongue down to his genitals and began sucking on them. Darryl became aroused by the sound of Tandy greedily sucking his scrotum.
“Damn, you sucking the hell out my nuts. You nasty-ass bitch.”
Darryl’s words made juices ooze from Tandy’s snapper. After the first time Tandy and Darryl had sex, Tandy told him how she liked to be called derogatory names during sex. At first Darryl was uncomfortable about calling Tandy names but after he had done it a few times and seen how hyped up Tandy became when he did it, he was thrilled with the idea. Darryl understood the only place where it was acceptable was in the bedroom, unlike Omar, who felt obligated to tell Tandy how much of a dick-sucking bitch she was whenever they were out in public.
Darryl groaned, “Damn, girl, I swear your mouth gets just as wet as your pussy.” Tandy began to play with her nipples as she sucked rapidly on Darryl’s scrotum. “Oh, shit,” Darryl squealed. “I’m about to cum.”
Tandy didn’t bother to position herself in front of him before putting her mouth on his tool. She grabbed his dick and sucked it from the back. She stopped sucking when she felt it pulsate and slapped it up against her juicy lips until he ejaculated. Darryl grunted as he covered Tandy’s lips with cum and his tool became limp. He looked down at Tandy as she licked his semen off her lips and he became aroused again. As much as he wanted to fuck Tandy breathless, he couldn’t. He was on the verge of exhaustion. He turned around, grabbed Tandy’s hands, and pulled her to her feet before she could put her mouth on his tool again. He picked Tandy up by her waist and sat her on the counter.
“Look, baby, I don’t have enough energy to go another round,” Darryl said with a smile on his face. “You sucked it all out of me. Besides, I have a few runs to make.”
Darryl looked closely at Tandy and noticed that her thighs, hips, and her waist were thicker than usual. “Damn, ma, you getting thick.”
“You think I’m putting on weight?”
“I know you’re putting on weight,” Darryl said.
Tandy sucked her teeth.
Darryl leaned over and planted a kiss on Tandy’s lips. “You still look good, though.”
Tandy sat on the counter and watched as Darryl got dressed. Darryl put his shirt on, then looked over at Tandy again and shook his head.
“What’s wrong?” Tandy asked.
“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
“It’s been a little over a year and you’re tired of fucking me already,” Tandy joked.
“I’m not joking,” Darryl said. “I can’t keep holding back my feelings for you, pretending we’re just fucking, when I’m in love with you.”
“So what are you getting at?”
“What I’m getting at is, I’m tired of keeping this a secret,” Darryl said. “But you know my family gonna carry on like we on some Jerry Springer shit.”
Tears welled up in Tandy’s eyes. Creases formed on her face like it was a balled-up picture. Tandy looked away from Darryl. “So what you saying?”
Darryl didn’t answer. He gathered his long black hair together and put it in a ponytail.
“If you don’t want to be with me anymore, just say so,” Tandy said as her voice began to crack.
Tandy knew Darryl was still messing with Shay, his babies’ mother, whose mind was so screwed up she thought they had a monogamous relationship. But Darryl had led her on by moving in with her, by occasionally sleeping with her, and by getting her pregnant twice.
Tandy never forgot the night Shay got hold of Darryl’s phone and read the text messages they’d sent each other. Some of the messages were friendly, Tandy commenting on how beautiful Darryl’s children were. Some of the messages were about Omar, how he had came home high again and she didn’t know if she could deal with it anymore. Some of the messages were about how they couldn’t wait to make love to each other again. Shay called Tandy’s cell phone at two o’clock in the morning. When Tandy answered, she could hear Shay cussing Darryl out.
“Hello,” Tandy answered.
“I knew something was up with y’all,” Shay yapped into the phone. “I read y’all text messages. You a nasty bitch; how you fuck ya husband’s brother?”
Tandy sighed and looked over at Omar, who lay in the bed beside her, asleep. Waking him was like trying to wake the dead. Tandy screamed into the phone. “The same way I’m fucking ya man, bitch. Now shut ya damn mouth and let him get some sleep so he can fuck me tomorrow.” Tandy powered down her cell phone and went back to sleep. But when Darryl fell asleep, Shay called Darryl’s mother and told her Tandy was having an affair with Darryl.
Early the next morning, Tandy heard a knock on the door. She got out of bed, walked into the front room, and glanced through the peephole in the front door. She saw Darryl and Omar’s mother, Reverend Moore, standing there holding a Bible in her hand; with her were her daughters, Benita and Melissa.
Damn, I don’t feel like being bothered with them today, Tandy thought. She slowly backed away from the door until she passed the kitchen, then walked into the bedroom to wake up Omar.
Tandy gently shook Omar. “Omar, ya mother and sisters are at the door.” Omar didn’t answer, so Tandy continued to shake him. “Omar, ya mother and sisters are here to see—”
Omar grabbed Tandy’s arm and squeezed it. “What I tell you about bothering me when I’m ’sleep?”
“I know, but ya mother—”
“I heard you the first time,” Omar said, as he squeezed Tandy’s arm tighter. “Don’t make me slap the shit out you. Just tell them I ain’t here.”
Tandy walked back into the front room.
Reverend Moore began to pound on the door. “Tandy, open this door! I saw your car parked outside so I know you’re in there!” she shouted. “Shay told me you’re having an affair with Darryl and I need to find out what’s going on!”
Oh, shit, Tandy thought. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to ease her nervousness.
“Come on and open this door!” Reverend Moore’s voice sounded from the other side. “I just want to talk to you!”
Tandy rested her hand on her chest. Her heart thumped fiercely, causing her head to ache. How the hell am I going to get out of this shit?
Darryl pulled up in his gold Escalade and walked to the door. Ten minutes earlier, Darryl had looked at his cell phone and realized he had missed a call from his mother. He’d listened to the message his mother had left him, telling him that Shay called and said he was cheating on her with Tandy and how she was on her way to see Tandy to get her side of the story. As soon as Darryl finished listening to the message, he’d gotten in his car and sped over to Tandy’s house.
“What are you doing here?” his mother asked.
“I came to see Omar and apologize to him and Tandy for the stunt Shay pulled this morning.” Darryl knocked on the door. “Hey, y’all up in there? It’s Darryl.”
Tandy exhaled, relieved to hear Darryl’s voice. She made her way over to the door and opened it.
Once everyone was inside, Darryl made up some story about how Shay misinterpreted a message that Omar sent him and went ballistic. As soon as Darryl cleared things up, he left with his family as if he was on his way home. Five minutes later, Darryl was back at the door. Tandy let him in and pecked him on the lips.
“Thank you for getting us out of that mess with your mother.”
“Anytime,” Darryl said. He ran his hand over Tandy’s breast. He could feel his blood race to his dick as it stood at attention. “Where’s Omar?”
“He’s in the room asleep.”
Darryl thought about the possibility of his brother waking up and catching him having sex with his wife, but the desire to drive his tool de
ep into Tandy and be gripped by her warm supple walls outweighed his concern. He began to unbutton Tandy’s shirt. “Let’s get you out these clothes so you can show me how thankful you are.”
They quickly undressed each other as they took turns kissing and licking each other’s lips. Tandy thanked God that she was finally able to enjoy Darryl’s flesh and cure the hunger that had been building in her all night as she lay beside Omar and fantasized about Darryl. She traced Darryl’s lips with her index finger, admiring the smoothness and fullness of his lips. Darryl took her manicured finger into his mouth and began to suck it. Tandy let out a moan; the sensation she got from her finger being in Darryl’s mouth had awakened her clit and it was begging to be devoured by his lips. Tandy slid her finger out of Darryl’s mouth. She sucked his earlobe as she caressed his hips. Darryl quivered with anticipation.
“Aah … don’t tease me like that,” Darryl groaned.
Tandy planted a kiss on Darryl’s lips. “You want it now?”
“Aah, yes, give it to papi.”
Tandy slid the finger Darryl lubricated with his saliva into his anus and Darryl shuddered with pleasure.
“Aah, shit. That’s right, baby, fuck me. Fuck papi.”
They kissed each other fervently. Darryl began to suck Tandy’s tongue. The faster Tandy stroked his anus, the harder he sucked her tongue.
Darryl’s stiff phallus pressed against Tandy’s stomach, smearing secretions onto her navel. Tandy eased her finger out of Darryl’s anus and began stroking his shaft.
Darryl let drool fall from his mouth onto his shaft as Tandy stroked it. He pinched Tandy’s nipple as he whispered in her ear, “You ready for this dick?”
“Yes, papi,” she cooed, rubbing her hands over her pussy.