He sucked in a breath as he listened to the raucous chatter of his teammates in the locker room. He couldn't even focus on their talking, and fortunately it wasn't directed at him anyway. But he was going to have to get his head straight before game time.
He didn't have this much of a feeling of dread last year when he was a rookie, probably because he knew he wouldn't be playing. Oh sure, he got playing time during the preseason. Everyone did. But otherwise he knew he'd spend the entire season warming the bench on the sidelines. So . . . zero stress.
Unlike today, when all eyes would be on him. The fans and all the media would be watching him to see if he was half the quarterback his father had been. The coaches would be checking him out, too.
He'd likely only play the first quarter, since the starters didn't play much early in the preseason. Coaches had a roster to cut down and they had to evaluate all the players, which meant his playing time would be limited. He wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.
If he did great in the first quarter, then he'd be happy. If he sucked, then everyone would judge him based on that limited amount of playing time.
Fuck. Even more to stress about.
Jamal came and sat next to him.
"You stressed?" Jamal asked.
"Like crazy." The only person Nathan would say that to was his best friend.
"Relax, man. You're the best I've ever seen at quarterback, besides your dad. You got this. You just have to believe in yourself."
He knew Jamal was right. He wouldn't be in this position right now if the team and the coaches didn't believe he could do the job. He just had to believe he could do it.
He looked over and nodded. "Thanks."
Jamal nudged him with his shoulder. "Always gonna have your back, buddy."
"How about you?" he asked Jamal. "You ready for this?"
Jamal gave him his signature grin. "I'm easy. Ready to rock and roll this thing."
That's what he liked about Jamal. He was always low-key and no tension.
Nathan nodded. "All right, then."
"Now let's go kick Detroit's ass."
Coach met them in the locker room and the entire team huddled around him.
"I know we've made some changes in several key positions this year," coach said. "Most notably in our QB position. I want you all to give your support to Riley here, because he's given all he's got to this team and I know he's the leader to take the Sabers right to the playoffs this season."
Nathan winced. No pressure there, Coach.
"So let's rally behind him and all our new players and rookies and let's get this done."
They all put their hands in the center of the circle, then shouted, "Go Sabers!"
Then it was time to take the field.
Nathan wanted to believe this giant boulder in his stomach would go away and be replaced by exhilaration. After all, this was his debut as the starting quarterback for the Sabers.
But as they took the field and the sold-out home stadium crowd got to their feet with a roar and applause, that boulder suddenly felt like he'd ingested an entire mountain.
"Use the crowd to energize you," Jamal said as they moved to the sidelines.
Nathan nodded and tried to remember all these people wanted him to succeed. He'd gotten an early morning text from Mia, who had wished him luck and told him she'd be at the game today. So she was somewhere in this crowd. He had no idea where but he looked around the entire stadium, letting the sounds and the cheers fill him with adrenaline instead of scare the shit out of him.
Detroit won the coin toss and they elected to receive the ball, which meant Nathan would have to wait it out while the Sabers' defense took the field first. Pent up with nervous energy, Nathan couldn't sit. He wandered the sidelines and watched the defense as they stuffed Detroit on first down for no gain.
On second down, Detroit's quarterback threw a short pass for five yards.
It was third down. The quarterback dropped back, intending to pass. Flynn skirted past the offensive lineman and the quarterback barely got past him, and with no receivers open, had to throw the ball away.
Oh, hell yeah. Flynn had been a beast on that play.
Nathan fought a smile, not knowing when he'd be on camera. And now it was the offense's turn. So while Detroit punted, he took his last-minute instructions from the offensive coordinator and put on his helmet.
Then it was time to take the field. He hoped to God he didn't pass out on his way out there.
But the funny thing was, as soon as he stepped out onto the field with his offense, that boulder disappeared, and all that tension was gone. He was focused, his vision was clear and he knew exactly what he was supposed to do.
Until he took the first snap from center, threw a pass and it was an incompletion. Because he'd overthrown the receiver. Like by about ten fucking yards.
Shit. That didn't go well. He went back to the huddle and reorganized his thoughts for the next play, which he managed to get off without screwing it up, mainly because it was a run. Their running back gained six yards, which meant they were at third and four.
Since it was short yardage, the offensive coordinator called for a run on third down. Nathan handed the ball off to Anthony Weston, their running back, who took the ball seven yards for a first down.
He breathed a sigh of relief as he listened to the crowd's cheers. At least they were still on the field.
The next play was a pass play, and he had to get it right. He huddled up with the offense and gave them the play.
But he threw another incompletion, overthrowing the receiver again.
Sonofabitch. It was like he'd forgotten how to throw an accurate pass. What the hell was wrong with him anyway?
His gut tightened as the next play called was another pass. Why would they do that? Couldn't they see he didn't know what he was doing? He hoped like hell they were warming up his backup.
As they broke the huddle, Jamal took a second to walk with him.
"You know what you're doing. Breathe, brother."
Nathan nodded and took his position under center.
Yeah, he knew what he was doing. This was second nature to him. Every game, no matter where it was played, was the same. As he worked his count, he remembered he'd done this hundreds of times before.
Pull it together, Riley. And just fucking play football.
He took the snap, dropped back and searched out Jamal fifteen yards down the left side. He launched the ball in the air, watching it as it landed right in Jamal's hands for a perfect catch.
Fuck yes, that felt good.
The crowd roared its approval.
After making that first successful throw, he got into a groove. They moved down the field, alternating running and passing plays. It was working.
When they found themselves in the red zone, that pressure feeling returned, but Nathan used it to his advantage. And when he hit Jamal right in the numbers in the end zone, he raised his arms in triumph and ran to meet him.
"You were right there every time I threw to you," he said to Jamal.
Jamal handed him the ball as they jogged back to the sidelines. "Your first pro touchdown, bro. So damn proud of you."
That's right. It had been his first touchdown. Sonofabitch, it had felt good. He grinned. "Thanks."
Hopefully, this feeling of euphoria would never go away.
MIA SAT IN THE STANDS WITH AMELIA. MOSTLY, THEY stood, because the Sabers were kicking ass in this game. They were either driving their way down the field and scoring, or pushing Detroit back with outstanding defense.
Both her brother and Nathan had done well. They'd both played first quarter only, and had come out of the game after that. But it had still been an outstanding game.
"I don't know how the coaches decide who to cut," Amelia said as they sat in the stands about fifteen rows up. Flynn had offered to get them seats in one of the private clubs, but they had told him the weather was supposed to be nice, so they got great seats close
to the action.
"At least we're not drunk today," Amelia said, referring to one of the games they'd come to and ended up toasted by the end of it.
Mia grinned. "I remember nothing about that game. Other than the amazing wine we consumed."
"Flynn said we sang in the car on the way home."
Mia gave her a look. "We sang?"
"Yes. And talked about our periods."
Mia threw her head back and laughed. "That is awesome."
After the game, they headed down to the player entrance since they had passes. They had to wait out media interviews, so they chatted up player family members while they waited.
"I remember seeing you here a while back," Tiffany La Salle, one of the players' wives, said to Mia. "You're here for your brother Flynn, right?"
Mia nodded right away. "Yes. How are you, Tiffany? And congratulations." Tiffany was sporting a healthy looking baby belly.
She rubbed her stomach and grinned. "Thank you. It's our second baby and pretty soon I'll have a three-year-old and an infant. Lord help me."
Amelia laughed. "I can't even imagine. But you're smart and capable and I know you're going to wrangle Randy to help you."
"You know it. He was great with Tyrone, our first. I know he's going to be just as good with this one. It's a girl. I can't wait to see how she wraps her daddy around her tiny baby finger."
"Aww, that's so wonderful," Mia said. "I'll bet you're so excited."
"We are."
The doors opened and the reporters poured out. Soon enough, the players followed. Flynn came over and wrapped his arms around Amelia.
"It was such a good game," Amelia said. "You were amazing."
"You really were, Flynn," Mia said. "Defense looks solid."
Flynn turned to her, keeping his arm around Amelia. "Thanks. It's just preseason so positions aren't fully set yet, but I liked the way the defense felt in that game against a damn good opponent."
Amelia laid her hand on his chest and looked up at him. "Building blocks, right?"
He smiled down at her. "Right, babe."
Nathan came out then, and Mia made sure to keep her distance as he stopped to chat. Since journalists were still wandering around, she didn't want to give them any gossip fodder, plus she was still on the lookout for that photographer who'd been stalking them. She didn't see him here, though.
"Hey, great game, Nathan," she said.
He smiled. "Thanks."
"You looked amazing out there, Nathan," Amelia said.
"I appreciate that."
"Don't go giving him a swelled head," Flynn said. "He was just okay."
Nathan laughed. "That's Flynn, always keeping my feet solidly on the ground."
Flynn slapped him on the back. "That's what I'm here for, man."
Jamal came out and stood next to Nathan. "Hey, Mia. How's it going?"
"Good. Is Wendy here?"
He shook his head. "She was disappointed she couldn't make it, but she had to take an early flight out today. She has a client meeting in New York first thing in the morning."
"Next home game, then."
Jamal nodded. "For sure. Which is in two weeks since we fly to Tampa next."
"Oh, that's right. You and Barrett get to beat up on each other in the preseason," Mia asked.
Flynn grinned. "Yup. That's always fun. We'll plan on plenty of trash talk."
"I guess I'll have to get in the middle of that since I'm the one who'll be scoring on Barrett," Nathan said.
Flynn arched a brow. "Score one touchdown and suddenly you're a superstar, huh?"
Nathan laughed. "So you don't want me to score against Tampa?"
Flynn frowned. "Careful, kid, or you might find yourself crammed into one of the lockers at the stadium."
"Yeah, I'll mention that to my offensive linemen."
Jamal laughed hard. "He got you, Cassidy."
Mia grinned at Flynn. "I don't think you're going to win this one."
"I don't know. I think me and my defense can take the kid and his offense."
"Bring it, Flynn," Nathan said.
Flynn shook his head. "Kid. You're cocky. I kind of like this new side to you. But don't push it."
Nathan laughed.
Mia knew they were all joking, so she blew it off, and when Amelia suggested they all go grab a bite to eat, she thought that sounded like a great idea. But she let them walk off ahead of her and said she was going to stop in the restroom first and she'd meet them at the restaurant. Mainly, not to be seen with Nathan. Even though Jamal was with them and it wasn't like they would look coupled up, she was still sensitive about it.
Probably oversensitive, but it was better to be cautious.
So she showed up at the restaurant ten minutes later than everyone else, then sat next to Amelia instead of Nathan. She saw the look Nathan gave her, and she knew he'd ask her about it later.
They decided to stay local and eat closer to the stadium rather than fighting traffic to get back into the city. The Fish Market was crowded with people from the game, which meant that Flynn, Nathan and Jamal were recognized. They smiled and took some pics and signed a few autographs, but then people left them alone.
Mia was glad she'd made sure to arrive separately. And since Nathan was huddled with Jamal and Flynn, it gave her an opportunity to chat with Amelia.
"Does it feel good to have a Sunday off from Ninety-Two?"
"I never mind being at the restaurant. It's relaxing for me to cook. I often do that on my days off anyway."
"True. I hear cookbook sales are going well. Flynn told me they often sell out at the restaurant."
"Which surprises me all the time. I'd originally planned to write the book and maybe self-publish it in digital format just for fun. I had no idea it would end up in print. Or be reprinted. It's amazing. And now to be working on another cookbook is a dream come true."
"I'm so glad you get to do something you love so much."
"Me, too. And now, so do you."
"Thank you. I'm pretty happy about it. At first it was all on paper, but now that it's a reality it's become more than I could have ever imagined. Still a bit scary."
Amelia nodded. "Of course it is. Nothing worth fighting for is ever going to be easy. If it is, then you're doing it wrong."
Their waiter brought the drinks they'd ordered. After they looked at the menu, Mia decided on the linguine with clams. They all decided on oysters for an appetizer.
She hadn't eaten during the game, so she was starving. By the time the oysters arrived, she was more than ready to down several, along with the delicious bread they offered.
Since she'd driven down to the game today, she wasn't having any wine, which was a shame because a nice pinot grigio would have gone well with the oysters, but she was content with a sparkling water and the view of a hot man who continued to give her questioning looks from across the table.
She gave him a smile back and arched her brow.
"Excuse me, I'll be right back." She got up from the table to use the restroom. When she came out, Nathan was waiting.
She leaned against the wall. "I don't know if you noticed, but this is the ladies' room."
"Funny," he said. "How come you didn't leave the stadium with us? And why aren't you sitting next to me?"
She'd expected to have this conversation with him--later--not now, outside the ladies' room.
"Because the media was loitering outside the locker room and I didn't want to give them any reason to think you and I are together. And same reason here."
He rolled his eyes. "Come on, Mia. We are together."
"I know that and you know that, but the press doesn't need to know it."
He palmed the wall, caging her between the hallway and the corner. "The press isn't here right now."
She couldn't deny her reaction to having his body so close to hers. But she pressed her hand against his chest to move him away. "Nathan. You have a lot of fans in this restaurant, so we shouldn't be seen together.
"
"Oh come on. Now you're being paranoid."
"Maybe you should be more paranoid. Your season is just kicking off and the last thing you need is some fan taking a pic of the two of us hanging out in a restaurant hallway together and posting it on social media."
He lingered, his gaze connected to hers. Sure, she wanted to be with him all the time. But the timing on this wouldn't be good--for either of them.
She pushed at his arm and he dropped it.
"This conversation isn't over, Mia."
"Whatever you say."
She went back to the table, feeling irritated and out of sorts. She took her seat and grabbed her glass, taking a long drink of her water.
A few minutes later, Nathan returned to his seat, giving her a pointed stare.
She decided to ignore him.
"What is going on with you two?" Amelia asked in a whisper.
Mia turned to her. "With who? Nathan and me? Nothing."
"Please. The vibes are obvious."
"What kind of vibes?"
"Angry hot ones. Do you have a thing with Nathan?"
Mia noticed Flynn was deep in conversation with Jamal and Nathan had joined in, which was good. "Define thing."
Amelia laughed. "So that's how it is. Nothing serious, then?"
"No." Mia took a sip of her water to cool down her wayward emotions. "We're just friends."
How many times had she said that to someone? How often had she said it to herself? She was lying to her friends and her family about her relationship with Nathan.
Why? Who was she protecting? Was she doing the right thing?
She didn't know the answers to any of those questions anymore and it made her feel even more out of sorts.
It was clear that Nathan wasn't happy about her not sitting next to him. Frankly, she wasn't happy about it, either. And what difference would it have made if they had hung out together? They might be in a relationship, but first and foremost they were fr--
That word again. That word was beginning to annoy her. And it pissed her off that she was becoming annoyed with it.
"Seems to me it's more than friends, Mia," Amelia said.
Mia picked up her water, needing the cool glass surrounding her hands to ward off the heat boiling inside of her.
"Honestly, I don't know what it is anymore. But whatever it is, it's confusing the hell out of me."