Page 36 of Where We Belong


  “That’s an interesting question. . . . I suppose it must have.”

  “Or could there be another explanation? Perhaps we love because we are made in the image of a God who loves. How would it change your thinking if you knew that what you felt for Rebecca is just a tiny taste of what the God who created the universe feels for you?”

  Soren looked up. Was it possible that God loved him as much as Soren loved Gunnar? That was a lot! He would die for his brother. And according to the minister at church, that was exactly what Jesus had done.

  “I’ve seen too much suffering,” the professor said, “including what you’re currently enduring, to ever believe in a loving God.”

  “We’ve talked about the issue of suffering before. I’ve explained how the evil in this world was man’s choice, not God’s. How His Son suffered and died to set us free from that evil.”

  “Then why aren’t we free? Why does the darkness continue?”

  “I won’t pretend to know all the answers, but I believe that one of the reasons God delays in judging evil is because He’s waiting for everyone the world over to have a chance to know Him. Every tribe and nation and tongue and language. As for my suffering, the Bible says ‘the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.’ What you see isn’t all there is.”

  “You believe in heaven, then? Without any scientific proof?”

  “Yes. I find it quite easy to believe in heaven because I’ve seen little glimpses of it here on earth. Holding my wife in my arms, laughing together—that’s a tiny piece of heaven. Looking at the beautiful world God created just for us, the millions of stars in the universe, the variety of flowers and animals. God created earth as our home, and it was the perfect place for us to live until evil was introduced.”

  “You believe in a devil with horns and a pitchfork?”

  “You fought in the War Between the States, Timothy. You saw firsthand what man is capable of doing to his fellowman and the inhumane way the slaves were treated. That’s evil. You can’t deny it exists.”

  “We don’t seem to have learned too many lessons from history, have we?”

  “Jesus died to redeem us from evil. He rose again from the dead, and so I know that I will, too. We’ll live forever on a brand-new earth. In the meantime, God gives each of us a task to do to help reclaim His kingdom, one life at a time. ”

  Professor Dyk didn’t reply. Was he convinced by what Mr. Edmund had said? Was Soren? As he waited for the men to speak again, it occurred to him that Mr. Edmund had been speaking a lot without pausing to cough.

  “You always give me much to think about, Edmund,” the professor finally said. “I didn’t mean to stay this long and tire you out. I’ll stop in again another day.”

  “How’s your arithmetic coming along?” Mr. Edmund asked after Professor Dyk was gone. Soren handed him the completed page of problems. Mr. Edmund looked it over, then smiled. “You’re a very smart young man, Petersen. Keep studying.”

  Soren looked at the untouched glass of water on his nightstand, the tray of uneaten food, then back at Mr. Edmund, whose skin looked as pale as the piece of paper in his hand. “Is there anything you need?” he asked. “Can I get something for you?”

  “No, please sit down, Petersen. I want to ask you something.” Soren perched on the edge of the chair where the professor had just sat, ready to spring up at a moment’s notice. “I may be going to heaven before too much longer,” Mr. Edmund said, “and I want to ask you to do something for me. . . . Will you help take good care of my wife and her sister for me? They are very special ladies, and they’re both very fond of you. If I don’t get well, I need you to watch out for them after I die. They have each other and their faith, so they’ll keep going. But it might take a little while until they’re back on their feet again.”

  Soren wanted to refuse. He needed to tell Mr. Edmund that he was no good at taking care of people. He had promised to take care of Hilde and Greta, and they’d died. He’d promised Papa that he would take care of Mama, and she’d died. He’d promised Gunnar that he would always take care of him, and he’d failed. Now his job was to take care of Mr. Edmund, and he was dying, too. Soren cleared his throat. He had to say something. Mr. Edmund was waiting.

  “I promise,” he said at last.

  “Good. That’s good. Thank you, Soren. I know I can trust you.” He reached out and took Soren’s hand, holding it between his own.

  Miss Flora and Miss Rebecca were praying so hard for Mr. Edmund to get well, and so many doctors were coming and going with their medicines, that Soren didn’t want to ask when he’d be able to see Gunnar again. For now, he had the photograph Miss Rebecca had taken of the two of them, and she had sent one to Gunnar, too, so his brother wouldn’t forget him. In the meantime, Soren took his task of looking after the sisters very seriously. Whenever they volunteered at the Sunday school, Soren went with them. He was standing in the back of the room listening to Miss Rebecca tell how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and wishing that Jesus would heal Mr. Edmund, too, when he saw her—the thieving little redheaded girl named Kate. She wore a straw hat this time to cover up her hair, but he recognized her just the same. He watched as she edged into the room, and he positioned himself near the door as he waited to catch her in the act. Miss Flora approached her and spoke with her, but the girl shook her head. Had Miss Flora recognized her? Probably not, because she returned to the other children.

  Soren never took his eyes off Kate as she drifted closer to Miss Flora’s purse. The moment she put her hands on it, Soren sprang across the room and grabbed her. “Stop! Thief!” he shouted as he wrenched the purse from her hands. He had his other arm around Kate’s waist, gripping her tightly as she squirmed to free herself.

  “Let me go!” she yelled, punching and kicking Soren. He was taller and much stronger and didn’t mind the blows.

  “This is the same girl who stole from you before,” he said, yanking off her hat. “I’ll hold on to her while you send for the police.”

  The children had abandoned their schoolwork to gather around and stare wide-eyed at the drama. But instead of calling for the police, Miss Flora said, “Let’s go into the church sanctuary while we deal with this so the children can continue their studies.” Soren dragged the girl through the doorway and into the church with Miss Flora and Miss Rebecca following. Once Kate was inside, the hushed stillness seemed to calm her. She stopped struggling and gazed up at the stained-glass windows, sparkling like jewels, and at the wooden cross hanging in the front of the sanctuary.

  “What’s your name, dear?” Miss Flora asked.

  “Kate Rafferty.”

  “I would hate to see a lovely young lady like you go to jail. Why don’t you tell me what you need money for?”

  “To live,” she said with a defiant look. She didn’t seem the least bit remorseful or ashamed that she’d been caught.

  “Are you having trouble finding a job?”

  “I had a job in a factory, but I hated it.”

  “Becky and I understand,” Miss Flora said. “We tried working in a garment factory, and the conditions were so horrendous we only lasted one day.” Kate relaxed in Soren’s arms, but he knew it was a trick. The moment he eased his grip, she would take off. She kept glancing over her shoulder at the door, as if looking for someone. Soren wondered if she had an accomplice. He gripped her tighter.

  “Do you live nearby? Do you have a family?” Miss Rebecca asked.

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “Well, in a way it is our business,” Miss Rebecca said, “for two reasons. One is that you chose to rob us—twice, if I’m not mistaken—so we’re connected by your crime. And second, your welfare is our business because the Bible says we must help the poor and the homeless who come our way. I’m asking for information because I’m trying to determine the best way to help you.”

  “I don’t live anywhere,” Kate said. “I need money to eat.


  “How old are you?” Miss Flora asked. “Perhaps you can live at the orphan’s home that we—”

  “I’m not an orphan. I’m eighteen and old enough to take care of myself.”

  “Stealing from people is hardly a proper means of taking care of yourself,” Miss Rebecca said. “Listen, I don’t suppose you can repay the money you already stole from us, can you?”

  “’Course not. I came back for more, didn’t I?”

  “Here’s the thing,” she continued. “The Bible says that if a thief can’t pay for what she’s stolen, she must work to pay off the debt, plus an additional fine. Have you ever worked as a servant, Kate?”

  “Ha! Who would have me?” she asked gesturing to her ragged clothing. She was no longer wearing only a man’s shirt over her petticoat, but her well-worn blouse and skirt looked as though they belonged to a much larger woman.

  “We’d be willing to take you to our home in Evanston,” Miss Flora said, “and give you food and a warm place to live. But in return, you would have to work to repay the money you stole.”

  “Unless you’d rather go to jail,” Miss Rebecca added. “They’ll give you a bed and a hot meal there, too.”

  “But if you work hard, Kate, it could become a paying job for you in the future.”

  Soren couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The sisters didn’t need another servant. How could they even trust a thief like Kate in their home? Then he recalled how they had trusted him and brought him into their home. And he’d done much worse things than simply steal.

  “What do you say?” Miss Flora asked.

  Kate glanced toward the door again. “I got nothing to lose. I’ll do it.” Soren thought the sisters had plenty to lose if Kate betrayed their trust.

  “Do you need to tell your parents or anyone else where you’re going or that you’ll be staying with us?” Miss Flora asked. “We could stop and pick up your belongings—”

  “I got nothing and nobody. And you can let go of me, now,” she told Soren. “You’re hurting my arms.”

  “How do I know you won’t run if I let go?”

  “’Cause I said I won’t.”

  Miss Flora nodded, and Soren released her. But he was braced to grab her again if she bolted. Kate rubbed her skinny arms. “Now what?”

  “Give us a few minutes to finish up here at the church, and we’ll be on our way,” Miss Rebecca said.

  Soren stuck close to Kate’s side once they arrived home, watching her survey the beautiful house and its furnishings with the greedy eyes of a thief. It seemed suspicious to him that Kate would be so eager to begin a completely new life, especially since it meant taking orders and learning manners. He’d had his own reasons for doing it—to find his brother, in the beginning, and later because the sisters had promised to help him visit Gunnar. As time passed, he’d wanted to help the sisters because they’d been good to him. But what were Kate’s motives? He wished he knew. He wouldn’t be able to watch her continually, and it worried him.

  The housekeeper led Kate away to be fed and bathed and dressed in a simple maid’s uniform. Soren turned to the sisters and asked, “How do you know she won’t steal from you again and take off with something?”

  “She might,” Miss Rebecca replied. “But that’s a risk I believe God would have us take.”

  “We need to show her grace, Soren,” Miss Flora added. “Jesus said, ‘Freely ye have received, freely give.’ We must pray for her, too—not that she’ll change into what we want her to be, but that she’ll become all that God intends her to be.”

  “Do you suppose He intends her to be a thief?” Miss Rebecca asked.

  Miss Flora laughed. “You’re outrageous, Becky!”

  Soren thought Kate looked ridiculous in a gray maid’s uniform and white apron—like a stubborn mule wearing a bonnet. Kate always looked disheveled and smudged, and when the sisters tried teaching her to serve at the table, she kept dropping things. The cook refused to allow Kate in the kitchen. “I keep knives in here,” she said, “and that girl can’t control her temper.” The housekeeper lost patience with Kate after she knocked over the scrub bucket three times in one day and tried to start a fire in the parlor fireplace without opening the flue. Miss Flora decided to teach Kate to be a lady’s maid, which Soren guessed meant taking care of Miss Flora the way he took care of Mr. Edmund—laying out her clothes, making sure they were clean and pressed, hanging them up again, freshening Miss Flora’s bonnets and gloves. With Kate’s newest job, Soren bumped into her all the time because Miss Flora and Mr. Edmund shared the same bedroom. Mr. Edmund had his closet and dressing area on one side of it, and Miss Flora had hers on the other.

  Miss Flora was endlessly patient with Kate, even though in Soren’s eyes, she was useless. “I know Kate is a bit of a challenge,” he overheard Miss Flora telling Miss Rebecca, “but it would be cruel to send her back into the streets. And she’s too wild to work for anyone else.” Soren thought she was like a banked fire. All it took was a breath of wind—usually from him—for Kate to erupt into flames.

  Soren hardly noticed it at first, but Mr. Edmund’s health slowly began to improve. He stopped coughing. His color improved. He regained the weight he’d lost. His doctors called it a miracle. By the time winter ended, he was strong enough to get dressed and take his meals downstairs. By spring he was able to attend church, and he talked about returning to work.

  “You would think Timothy could see how our prayers for you have been answered,” Miss Rebecca said one day on the way to church. “But he gives all the credit to the doctors.”

  “Then we must make sure Timothy hears the truth from them,” Mr. Edmund said. “Dr. Owens says he can’t account for my recovery.”

  “I’m getting nowhere with Timothy,” Miss Rebecca said with a sigh.

  “You’ll never be able to convince him, Rebecca,” Mr. Edmund said. “Only the Holy Spirit can do that.”

  “I know, I know. But the other day he went on and on about not believing in the accuracy of the Scriptures, and it got me thinking. Remember how we talked about going to the Sinai to search for ancient manuscripts? What if we planned a trip this coming summer?”

  “I don’t know,” Miss Flora said. “I’m afraid a trip like that would be too rigorous for Edmund so soon after his illness. Perhaps we should wait—”

  “Nothing doing!” Mr. Edmund interrupted. “I won’t have you postponing your trip again on my account. I know you ladies are perfectly capable of going without me.”

  Soren knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help himself. Something began stirring inside him as they talked about traveling, and he wondered what it would be like to see a different city, a different country. The books Miss Flora had read aloud had given him a taste of a much bigger world filled with new and interesting things. The farthest he’d ever traveled from Chicago had been here to Evanston, twelve miles away. He turned from where he sat beside the driver and said, “I’ll be glad to go along and take care of them for you, Mr. Edmund.”

  Miss Flora’s brow creased with worry. “The Sinai Desert is halfway around the world, Petersen. It’s nothing at all like Chicago. There would be a long voyage across the ocean, first, and then you’d need to ride on a camel and—”

  “Let him come if he wants to,” Miss Rebecca said. “I think it would be wonderful for him to see a bit of the world.”

  “Would you really be willing to go in my place?” Mr. Edmund asked.

  Soren felt a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach as he considered it. He’d visited with Gunnar two more times since Mr. Edmund had been better, and he would miss seeing his brother if he went on a long voyage. But he may never have a chance to take a trip like this again. “Yes, sir,” he finally replied. “I would.”

  “Then it’s settled,” Miss Rebecca said.

  “What about me?” Kate asked. She sat on the driver’s seat, as well, on the other side of Andrew. Miss Flora and Miss Rebecca insisted that she attend churc
h with them every week, even though Kate showed no interest at all and barely paid attention to the service most of the time. At least she hadn’t stolen anything—yet.

  “Would you really like to come with us, Kate?” Miss Flora asked. “I never realized you were interested in traveling.”

  “I’m interested in getting out of this stupid city.”

  Soren closed his eyes, hoping the sisters wouldn’t give in and bring the ornery girl along. He was weary of dealing with her every day and would enjoy getting away from her for a few months.

  “Well,” Miss Flora said, “it would give you a chance to travel a different road for a while than the one you’ve been on.”

  Kate looked over her shoulder the way she always did, as if expecting to see someone following her. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “I want to go.”

  “Very well, then,” Miss Rebecca said. “You may both come along.”

  Part IV

  Kate

  Chapter 28

  THE SINAI DESERT

  1890

  Look! There it is!” Miss Rebecca said as they reached the top of a low hill. “That must be the monastery up ahead.”

  Kate squinted into the distance where Miss Rebecca was pointing and saw square, man-made walls tucked into a rocky cleft on the desert floor. The walls were the same dull, tan color of the surrounding rocks and blended so well into the endless terrain that only their shape gave them away. “You’re joking,” Kate said with a huff. “That’s the place? We rode on stinking camels for days and days through miles of empty desert to get here? It looks like something a child built in the sand.” She felt like spitting.

  It took another half hour to reach the monastery, and the place didn’t look any better to Kate up close. She had hoped it would provide a safe place to hide, far away from the sheikh and his men, but the walls that surrounded the cluster of ancient buildings looked as though they might crumble at the slightest touch. And she was still stuck in the middle of nowhere. She hadn’t expected a city, of course, but this wasn’t even a village! “Who would want to live way out here?” she asked. “And how will we ever get home again?”