After a few calming deep breaths, I came away from the bathroom knowing what had to be done. No matter how hard I found it, I just couldn’t be near him in that way.
When I got back, Michael was right where I left him on the floor. He looked troubled, but smiled at me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, thank you, Michael. I just think it may be best if we try not to get too close from now on. Quite frankly, it’s killing me. God, I feel like a child saying that.” Closing my eyes, I sat down beside him.
He grabbed my hand, causing me to look up at him. “It’s going to be hard, but maybe
it will be for the best. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, and I hate the fact that I may be killing you. That was never my intention. I don’t know what to do to make it better. I don’t know what the best thing to do is.”
I gripped his hand. I could tell he was finding this extremely difficult and I didn’t want to make him feel pressured. “Don’t worry about it, Michael. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the weekend together, okay?”
He nodded and we started talking about other things. It was a welcome distraction from thinking about him on top of me, doing things I know he can’t do—or, shall I say, won’t do.
**********
The rest of the weekend was lovely, but hard. To say it was fraught with sexual tension would be an understatement. I would try to keep away, but every time he touched my hand or stroked my cheek, I would feel the sparks flying. A couple of times, I forgot and kissed him.
Big mistake!
It just left me as frustrated and alone as ever. In a sense, I was kind of glad I was going home on Sunday. I would miss Michael, but I wanted to be away from the pain of it all.
I was more than a little surprised to see Stephen at my door, with a couple of bags in tow, when we got back to Fulham.
“Twinkles!” He smiled the only way he knew how, and it made my legs jelly.
Great, now it was round two of torture. I didn’t realise exactly why he was here until we were in my flat.
“I missed you on Friday night.” His expression was a little sad, even with his grin.
“I know. Things got a little crazy.”
“So,” he began, turning to Michael, “we’ve been staying with Mr. Sour-Puss here all weekend?”
I nodded, but blushed a little under his scrutiny. To change the subject, I offered them both a cup of tea. They said yes, so I excused myself to the kitchen, happy to have a few moments to myself.
As I was getting everything ready, I could hear whispered arguing. I came out with the tea and biscuits to a mixture of silence and heated stares between the two. They looked like they would have started fighting if I hadn’t come in when I did. I could tell they were trying to hide the fact, but it was obvious. You could practically smell the tension between them.
“I suppose Michael told you about what happened?”
I nodded. “Yes, although I feel bad that I put you in that position. It was dangerous and you could have been caught.”
“I know, Twinkles. But it was better that than the alternative.”
I shuddered a little, remembering the vision. Daniel was a really bad man. I couldn’t fathom how he became a police officer if he did what I saw. I supposed that even the ones who are supposed to serve and protect could be monsters deep down.
“You know we’re both here for you.” Michael said, breaking my trance. “That’s why Stephen is here. He’s going to stay with you.”
I open my eyes wide. “Hold up a sec. You do realise this is a studio apartment?”
I looked at both of them in shock, but what surprised me even further was Stephen’s cheeky smirk.
Michael grunted slightly, then smiled at me. “He’s going to stay here with you, but he will sleep on the floor. Won’t you, Stephen?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Of course. I have all the things I need with me. I’ll be the perfect gentleman.”
I was more than a little frustrated. “This is utter madness. I’ve been perfectly fine here all this time and as soon as you two find me, I become a prisoner in my own home.”
It was bad enough spending all that time with Michael, but now I had to spend the week with Stephen? That was what was winding me up more than anything. I didn’t want to let myself get carried away. I had already done that too many times this weekend. I couldn’t deny it any longer now that Stephen was here. I was attracted to both of them.
“Cassie,” Michael whispered, “we’re only doing what is best for you. You have this instinct to hide yourself away, and you have that for a reason. What the reason is, we don’t know, but it just goes to show that even you feel it’s not entirely safe. We want to keep you safe. That is what we are here for. That is what our—.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it—your mission.”
I could tell Michael knew I wasn’t happy about it and I could tell he knew why. What was the point of having something that I can’t have—if that made any sense? I tried telling him over the weekend. What’s the point of belonging together if we couldn’t be just that? The whole thing was just so bizarre.
“Listen, I better go. I want you to know that whatever you feel, we are here for you.”
Nodding, I followed Michael to the door. Once outside, he turned to me and smiled. I instantly felt guilty. “Michael, I’m sorry about what I said. I just get so frustrated at times.”
“It’s okay.” Grabbing my hand, he stroked my palm. “Just enjoy the rest of the week and I’ll see you when I get back. I’ll miss you.”
I felt a lump form in my throat, but I tried hard to swallow it down. I didn’t want him to see me upset when he was about to leave for the week.
“I’ll miss you, too.”
Eventually, our hands part and I watched as he got on his bike and rode off. It was hard watching him ride away but, oddly enough, I was glad I had some company. At least I wouldn’t wallow in my own self-pity all day. I’m sure Stephen wouldn’t let me anyway.
I get back into the flat and, sure enough, I spy Stephen sitting on the sofa with his cheeky grin. “So,” he began, rising from his seat. “Now that the miserable fart has gone, maybe we can get down to some partying.” He ventured over to his bag and pulled out a couple of bottles of brandy. “Have you got any coke?”
Laughing hard, I shook my head. “You’re a bad influence, Stephen Faron.”
“I know,” he said, as I headed for the kitchen. “But where would the fun be if I wasn’t?”
I retrieved a bottle of coke from the fridge as Stephen poured some brandy into two glasses.
The whole time, I could feel his presence, sense the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. For some reason, I felt like I could let my hair down with Stephen. I’m not sure if it was a power he possessed or whether it was my own natural personality shining through. Whatever it was, I felt happy around him. That was always a good thing.
“So, tell me,” I began, as we finally sat down. “I know my name means something. What does yours mean?”
He looked down slightly, like he felt ashamed. “I didn’t always have this name. Stephen was a martyr who believed so strongly in something that he was willing to die for it. In the end, he was stoned to death. Faron means ‘wanderer’, as I’m doomed to wander the land alone. As you can tell, I’m kind of the black sheep of the family.”
Hearing this made me feel really bad for him. I knew Stephen wasn’t a bad person, but it felt as though he was being reprimanded for being different.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Stephen.”
“Don’t be.” He smiled and grabbed my hand. “I’m happy now, being here with you. I don’t think that is torture in any way. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”
His cheeky smile immediately resurfaced, making me giggle a little. However, I knew that despite his no-nonsense, hard exterior, he was really a tortured, lonely soul. I believed he missed his family, no matter how much he protested.
“So what was
your name before?”
“Alexander—protector of mankind. Better than being stoned to death.”
“Alexander’s nice, but I like Stephen. I think it holds more meaning to be the person you want to be and not let yourself be ruled by others. You are who you are and no one should try to change you.”
Stephen’s expression was one of shocked amusement. “You know, you are quite something, Cassie Johnson…aka, Twinkles. No one has ever put it like that before.”
We clink glasses and made a toast to being different. That was certainly both of us.
We spent the rest of the evening getting drunk. I tried to make pasta for dinner, but couldn’t stop giggling in the kitchen as Stephen was being silly. I would try stirring the sauce, and Stephen would make a face. I would try adding more ingredients, and Stephen kept trying to tickle me. It was the strangest dinner making session ever, and one that I had never done with four glasses of brandy and coke in my belly.
Stephen, on the other hand, still looked sober. It was almost as though he couldn’t get drunk. I was the one falling about, giggling. He just seemed to take everything in stride.
As we sat down to dinner, I asked, “Tell me about you.” Stephen intrigued me as much as Michael.
“What is it you want to know?”
“What were you like as a child?”
The impish smile was back again. “I was always a little tearaway. I would drive my mother insane with all the things I would get into. I would rebel at almost anything. My parents were frustrated with me because I had such a strong mind, even then. I guess it’s just who I am.”
I felt a little sorry for Stephen. It must tear him apart at times being so far away from everyone he loves. “Do you miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“Home.”
“I suppose I do, in my own unique way. I have family that I haven’t seen for years because I was kind of forced out. I did wander alone from place to place, job to job for a while. In the end, I decided that I should do some good, so I joined the police force. It was there I learned that Michael was in town. I put in for a transfer and here I am.”
“Michael said you knew who I was.”
“Yes.” His smiled almost triumphantly. “He was telling me how frustrated he was that he hadn’t found you yet. He knew how important you were because he was told this before he left. Michael is the…‘golden child’, shall we say. There’s no wrong he can do. The minute I saw you, I knew there was something different about you. I must admit, I was a little infatuated by you. But you’re someone anyone could easily be infatuated by.”
I instantly felt the heat rush to my face, causing him to smile. Stephen always seemed to have a way with words. No matter what his circumstances were—the way his family considers him the “dark one” who had been outcast—he always knew how to explain things from the heart. He wasn’t afraid to show emotion. I liked that about him.
“So when did you guess?” I had to know.
“Honestly, as soon as I saw you and you told me your name. I put two and two together very quickly. I must admit, I did think I should tell Michael, but then the little naughty voice inside my head told me not to. Sometimes I have to listen to that naughty voice. I can’t seem to help it.
“I think Michael suspected something wasn’t quite right when I kept hanging around you. Even though I knew I was being bad keeping you all to myself, I just couldn’t stay away. The night of the CID party, Michael demanded to know what I was doing with you. I told him that I suspected there was something special about you, but he dismissed it. He wasn’t supposed to go there that night, but something obviously made him change his mind. I guess he wanted to see it for himself.
“I must admit, I’m a little pissed off about that. I wished it would have been me instead of him who whisked you away.”
I thought about that for a moment. What if it had been the other way around? I wonder if things would be different now.
“Well, what’s done is done. You did a very brave thing by stopping Daniel. Thank you for that.”
“It’s no problem. He’ll have a bit of a headache for a couple of days, but that’s as far as it will go for him.”
I was grateful for what he had done, but it hadn’t really changed anything. “He has to be stopped.”
“I agree. We need to put our heads together at some point and come up with a plan. For now, I want to enjoy your company.”
He picked up a lock of my hair and started playing with it. The feeling sent a shiver all over. I needed to get away from this situation, and fast.
Picking up my plate, I took it to the kitchen. I could tell he knew there was something up, but he didn’t question it.
“So, what is the plan?” I asked as I sat back down. “You’re going to stay with me the rest of the week?”
“That’s about that gist of it.” His mouth curved into a grin.
“You’re not planning on having me drunk the whole time, are you?”
“No.” His laughter radiated around the room. “But that does sound quite tempting. You’re rather adorable when you’re drunk.”
“I’m not drunk!” I was protesting a little too much.
“Well, then, you’re just plain old adorable. What can I say?”
I wished he would stop. It was making things so much harder when he talked to me like that. He knew I was attracted to him and I should imagine he knew that he could push it if he wanted to but, for some reason, he wasn’t. I’m not sure why I felt disappointed when I thought about that, though.
**********
I used the rest of the night to wash up and sort my stuff for work tomorrow. Stephen was doing the late shift Monday and Tuesday so he could sleep in.
I briefly spoke to Kali on the phone, and called my uncle just in case he called when I wasn’t here over the weekend. I didn’t tell them anything. I was with Stephen and didn’t want them asking awkward questions. It was hard, though, as Kali wanted to know what the hell had happened to me on Friday night. I told her I felt really ill and Michael took me home. I explained that I hadn’t felt well the whole weekend. I knew it was a lie, but she didn’t seem so angry with me after that.
Eventually, we settled down for bed. I felt really bad about Stephen sleeping on the floor, but the alternative would be a big mistake. I knew the temptation would be too strong and I also knew what would happen if it presented itself. I couldn’t be rejected like that twice in a row. I didn’t even know why I was thinking about it.
My goodness, I seem to be getting worse!
Chapter 9
I was in that heavenly place again, so peaceful and bright. I was floating on an endless cloud that encased me with nothing but love. I could feel it on every pore of my skin, and it felt exquisite.
Soon, Michael was there and he wrapped his big, strong arms around me. I felt cherished and adored—a feeling I didn’t want to end. He kissed me tenderly and told me he would be there for me, and that he’d never let me go. It was everything I wished to hear.
He caressed my cheek and kissed my neck. I threw my head back. I didn’t want this feeling to end. He touched me and kissed me in places which made me feel like I was going to explode. I was so on fire with want that it’s making my head spin.
“Cassie?” I heard in the distance. I felt like someone was trying to pull me away, but I didn’t want to leave.
“Cassie,” the voice called again. My body gave into it straight away. I wake, but feel a loss—the loss of his beautiful touch. Grabbing him, I brought him to my lips. I wanted to feel them on mine. I wanted to feel him close to me. I wanted that dream to be real.
He tried to pull away, but I gripped onto him so forcefully that he seemed to comply with my demands. I pulled him so violently that it made him moan into my mouth.
He’s on top of me now and I could feel how hard he was. And his lips—I always thought his lips tasted like heaven, but this was different. It was almost like he was giving into me, almost as though he
wanted this as much as I did. It made the throbbing that much harder to bear.
I didn’t know what I wanted, but my body was doing the talking for me. It seemed to know exactly what to do next and my mind was just giving in.
I want him inside me! my body screams. It was a power like no other I had ever felt.
His kisses were so sweet, so delicious, and so tender that it made my heart beat louder than ever before. Instead of just kissing me, he did something even more this time. He trailed those sweet kisses down my throat and across my neck, making me moan. As if I couldn’t ask for more, he surprised me further by running his hand up my tank top and squeezing my nipple.
I cried out again. I didn’t know what had gotten into him, but I was completely lost in anything and everything he was doing. I was open, I was willing. I lifted up his t-shirt and, to my amazement, he let me. What surprised me more is that he did the same to me. My breasts were heaving against his magnificent chest.
He obviously wanted me just as much as I did him and the thought sent me into overdrive. I was desperate for him, so desperate that I thought I might explode.
He carried on kissing me down my neck, then he descended lower towards my nipple. He placed one in his mouth and started playing with the other. I cried out again. It was the most glorious feeling I had ever felt. Did it always feel like this? Because if it did, how do women ever get anything done during the day?
He was going to give me what I wanted. I could feel it. He wanted to take me and I wanted to be taken. Moving his head over to my other nipple, I ran my fingers through his hair. “Oh, god!” I cry, unable to hold my feelings in check anymore. I was on fire and I needed him to know it.
“I don’t think God’s got anything to do with this,” he answered, his breathing harsh against my mouth.
The sound of his voice halted me. “Stephen?” I squeaked out.