“Cassie, hey. How are you? I haven’t seen you in a couple of days.”
“I’m fine, thank you, Paul.”
His face looked concerned for a moment. “You don’t look it.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “You look, I don’t know…troubled.”
“No wonder you’re a police officer.” I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit. He could obviously sense something was not quite right about me this morning.
“Well, we are trained to be observant.” He beamed and nudged me a little. “I know this isn’t the time or the place, but I want you to know that you can come to me with anything. You know how I feel, but I can be your friend…if that’s what you want.”
“Of course.” I smiled at him.
Paul must have seen the glint in my eye as he smiled. He placed his hand on my arm and squeezed it a little just before he turned to leave.
Once out of sight, I walked up the remaining steps towards my office. I walked in to find that Ruth wasn’t there and the phone was now ringing. I ran as fast as I could to answer.
“Cassie?” Simon’s voice was dubious.
“Yes, sir. I’m here.”
“And Ruth isn’t, I take it?”
“No, not that I can see.”
Simon sighed heavily. “Okay, I’m sorry you’re put in this position again. As you can see, I’m not in today. I’m going over to my parent’s house and we’re going to try and see Molly. I don’t think she’ll want to see me still, but if she will speak to our mum and dad, that might be a start.”
“Baby steps.” I wanted to offer as much reassurance as I could.
“Yes, of course. I, for one, am feeling rather lighter than air this morning.”
“Really?” I found myself grinning for him.
“Yes. After some gentle persuasion, my wife took the test. She’s pregnant, but you already knew that, didn’t you?”
“Yes, of course. I’m really happy for you both.”
“This is one piece of great news that has come out of a bad situation. We’re both ecstatic, of course, but I think my wife is worried that this is going to complicate things for me now—what, with my sister and everything. She constantly worries, but I couldn’t be happier. It’s what we’ve both wanted for quite some time now.”
“I know. Things are tough, but it’ll get better. Your sister can’t be mad at you forever.”
“We shall see what today brings.” He paused briefly, sighing into the phone. “Sharice still can’t believe I knew about her craving.”
I had to giggle thinking about it. I could see her eating tons of it during her pregnancy. I could also feel Simon’s complete adoration for her. I could feel him thinking he would buy her a crater full if it made her happy. “I bet she loved you when you brought her the rock candy.”
“Yes. Let’s just say we celebrated our news.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped me.
“I was told about Mark Richards late last night.”
“Oh, yes?” I was eager to hear more.
“They went in and found that not only was he growing Marijuana in is his basement, he had two hundred kilos of Cocaine. It was a great result for us. I’m sure they’ve probably found more since, but we certainly have enough to go on. Hopefully, now we can convince that boy’s parent’s to do the decent thing and give us evidence. Can you imagine knowing someone ran over your son deliberately, but you do nothing about it?”
“I know. It’s a shame when an addiction takes over your life so much that you’re willing put your loved ones in danger like that.”
“Well, it’s the Mark Richards’ of this world that make that happen. They thrive on people with addictions. It’s how they make their money. He was probably very nice to them at the start. Speaking of which, I heard you had a run-in with him yesterday.”
I shuddered at the thought of it again. “Yes. He was very insistent that I go for a drink with him.”
“Well, then, it was lucky Michael came by when he did. I did hear about it. Michael was right in what he did. I would never condone putting anyone in harm’s way just for the sake of an investigation. He’s obviously not a very nice man. Besides, we got the end result we were all hoping for, and it’s all because of you.”
“I didn’t do anything, really.”
Simon sighed heavily. “Don’t be modest, Cassie. We didn’t even know about this address until you brought it up. We thought he just lived in Shepherds Bush. Strange, really, as he spends most of his time here. We should have looked into that more closely.”
“Maybe he doesn’t like working on his own doorstep.”
“Probably. I do feel a little guilty, though.”
“Why?” I frowned, settling back in my chair a little.
“Because we’re getting all the credit when it was you who gave me the information.”
Little did he know that was exactly how I wanted it. “I really don’t want to take credit, sir. I would much rather be a silent partner in any police matters, if that’s okay? I don’t mind helping, but I can’t let it be known. Can you imagine the fall-back on that?”
“Yes, I completely understand. It doesn’t help me feel any better because of it. I’m getting my information from a source and reaping all the benefits, so to speak.”
“Yes, but you deserve it, Simon. You’re a good man. I know that.”
His laughter suddenly radiated through the phone. “So now I’m Simon?”
I gritted my teeth together, cringing at my slip up. “Yes, sorry.”
“Don’t be. I much prefer it to sir, any day.” He paused a moment. “Well, I better be off. Hopefully, I will get to see you at some point.”
“No worries. You take your time.”
“Thank you, Cassie. For everything. I know I keep saying it, but I really mean it. I want to set up an interview with you as soon as possible. It’s only a formality. I know I said give it a week, but I’d be a fool to say I didn’t already know what I wanted. Are you happy with that?”
I was really happy with that. I liked Simon and I knew that as long as I did my job, he would be a fantastic boss for whom to work. How could I say no?
“More than happy.”
“Great! I shall set that up as soon as the dust settles here a little.”
I could hear the genuine happiness in his voice and it made me smile. “I look forward to it.”
I hung up the phone and settled in for the day. I took my coat off and set my bag by my side, before firing up my computer.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing, but I thought I had better get through the emails just in case there was anything urgent. Luckily, I was given Ruth’s password yesterday so I was able to navigate my way around quite swiftly.
I was in the middle of replying to a couple when Stephen walked in with what looked like a present.
“Hey, Twinkles.” His cheeky grin surfaced as he winked at me.
It seemed like every sense I had was on alert the minute he walked in. I was so aware of Stephen that everything inside me came to life the minute he appeared. “Hi, Stephen. How are you feeling?”
Looking a little sad, Stephen sat at the edge of my desk. “Not good, really.”
The panic started. “What’s the matter?” I could feel my heart thumping.
“I’m thinking of leaving.”
“No!” I shout, surprising myself.
“I think it’s best all round, Cassie. I’ve been thinking long and hard about it, and I know that if I was out of the way, it would be less confusing for you. I won’t be so much of a distraction.”
“But you can’t.” The tears were brimming in my eyes.
“I won’t be far. I’m going to try for a transfer. If not, I’ll leave. I think it will be for the best. You have Michael here. You don’t need anybody else.”
“But I need you,” I said, trying to control my breathing.
“No, you don’t. You have Michael now a
nd he’s all you need. I only confuse you and that’s hurting my brother. I never want to be the one to do that to him. I always felt guilty for my actions, and I never want to put him in that position again.
“I’m sorry I kissed you yesterday. That was wrong of me. It just made my decision to leave that much easier.”
I wanted to sob and run to him. I wanted to claw at him and beg him to stay. I felt like a knife was wedged in my heart. Stephen’s leaving, and I may never see him again. I couldn’t live without him. If I didn’t know that before, I knew it now that he’s telling me he’s going.
“I got you this.”
He handed me the wrapped gift, but I was still stunned. The shock must have been more than evident on my face. I just couldn’t seem to move.
“Please, open this for me. I want to see your face when you open it. I want to take that image away with me and I want it to be a happy one.” He moved his hand and stroked my cheek.
Looking up to his beautiful face, I caught his magnificent smile. I grabbed his hand and kissed it. I couldn’t help myself. I loved him too much.
He sucked in his breath as our agony seemed to bounce off one another. He gripped my hand in his and willed me to open his present.
Glancing down at the wrapped gift, I wondered what on earth he could possibly give me that he hasn’t already.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Once I opened them again, I began unwrapping the gift. I knew I would love it no matter what it was. I would treasure anything he ever gave me.
As I pulled the paper apart, a blue box appeared with stars on it. I quickly realised that it was a music box.
The minute I opened it, a tune filled the room and set my heart alight. It was Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
I watched in awe as the little ballerina danced around in circles. There was a mirror and the face that looked back at me had me in shock again. I looked heartbroken
“Do you like it?”
I could feel the lump forming in my throat. “I love it.”
“You’re my little star, Twinkles, and you always will be. I want you to promise me that every time you get a little sad, you will open this up and play that tune. I want to know that when you do, it will bring a smile to your face. I want you to think of happy memories and to know that you are never alone. You have people that love you very much. I, for one, can vouch for that.”
“Stephen, I—.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know how much I love you before I say goodbye.”
I was desperate for him. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew that I couldn’t let him go. “But I can’t—.”
“Don’t, Twinkles. I’m doing this for me, as well as you. It’s tearing me up inside that I can’t be with you.”
I was about to argue. I was about to demand that he stay, but how could I? I was being selfish and knowing that he was suffering only told me that much. I couldn’t do this to him anymore. I had to let him go, no matter how much it hurt. No matter how much it tore me apart.
Finally coming to that conclusion, I looked down and nodded. I couldn’t even look at him. I was too devastated.
With a gentle tug, Stephen grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug. I savoured everything about him—the way he felt, his smell, his touch, everything. I didn’t want to let him go, but I knew he would break the embrace soon and it would all be over. The thought just shook me to my core. I didn’t know where I was supposed to go from here.
“Twinkles.” Pulling away from our embrace, he looked at me. “I want you to know that I’ll never be that far away. You have my number if you need me, okay? I just think us being apart is what both of us need right now.”
I nodded again as he wiped away a single tear that crept down my face.
“I know you love me, Twinkles. I can see it and feel it, but you have to go to Michael now. You have to tell him that you are his. It’s the one selfless thing I can do. I have to let you go.”
I couldn’t hold on any longer. The tears just seemed to ooze out of me. I tried in vain to keep them in, but it was just no use. I was losing the love of my life.
“I didn’t want to upset you, but I think it’s best if I leave. Michael has his day pretty clogged up with this arrest from last night. I assume you know about it?”
“Yes.” I was desperately trying to choke back the tears.
“He’ll be busy with a lot of paperwork, but once he’s done, I know he will try and find you. When he does, please tell him. And tell him I wish him all the best in the world. I want you both to be happy.”
I watched as he rose from the desk and headed for the door. He hesitated slightly, but he never looked back.
Once he opened it and closed it behind him, it was like a bomb went off inside my head and my chest. I felt the walls cave in on me. I had lost Stephen, but who could blame him for leaving me? He was just trying to make my choice that much easier.
He was letting me know that he wanted me to be happy—with Michael. I know he was selflessly giving that to me, and I know it was always Michael. But why did it hurt so much? Why could I not accept that he was gone and just let him live his life? Why was it so goddamned hard?
Sitting there for a few moments, I wondered what the hell I was supposed to do next. My gaze fell upon the music box. I wound it up again and watched as she danced. She truly was mesmerising.
My heart couldn’t take much more. I closed the box once I remembered where I was. I can’t let myself get carried away at work. I needed to take a few deep breaths and compose myself.
I buried my head in my hands and did just that. I was so lost in myself that I didn’t even hear the door opening.
“Er, Cassie?”
Looking up, I found Tracey standing there. She looked a little timid and I would imagine she should be after what she said about me.
“I wanted to come in here and apologise for what I said. It was wrong of me and I’m sorry.”
“So why did you say it? Are you just feeling guilty because you got caught?”
I was a little snappy, but I wasn’t in a good mood right now. I was upset and it was probably the worst time Tracey could have picked to come to me and apologise.
She winced slightly and shuffled her feet. I immediately calmed myself a little, then the guilt came. It obviously took a lot for her to come to me.
“You know how it gets around here, Cassie. It was a joke. I know it was at your expense, but I didn’t mean anything by it. Honestly.”
I sighed, shaking my head slightly. “I’m not sure what to think.”
“You look really upset and I don’t want to be the one to do that to you.”
I couldn’t believe this day so far. Maybe I should have stayed in bed. “It was upsetting, Tracey. I was attacked. I didn’t ask for it. I went in there and he followed me. Jesus, you must know what he did to his wife.”
Tracey winced slightly. “Yes, I know. That’s why it was a joke. A very poor one, but one that wasn’t meant to cause you pain.”
“I’m not that type of person, Tracey. I never have been.”
“I know that. I know you’ve never had a relationship here, but I must tell you something. There are rumours.”
Oh, here we go. “What rumours?”
“Some officers have seen both Michael and Stephen going into your flat.”
I could feel the anger burning my stomach. “So?”
“So it seems like you’re going out with both of them at the same time.”
I couldn’t believe this. “Not that it’s any business of yours, but it’s nothing of the sort.”
Who was I kidding? It was everything of the sort.
“Can’t I invite men around to my flat without there being any kind of funny business going on once my door is shut?”
I could see the eagerness in her eyes. “So you’re just friends with them?”
“I don’t have to justify my actions to you.” I didn’t want to have to explain my pr
ivate life to her. It was none of her business. Plus, she made me wary after what she said. There’s no way of telling whether she was going to use whatever I tell her and blab to everyone around the station.
“No, of course not. Sorry. I just wanted to come here, apologise, and warn you about the rumours. It is none of my business or anyone else’s. It just comes with the territory of working in this kind of environment.”
I sighed a little and let out a sarcastic chuckle. I started thinking that it was best to carry on, head up high, and just ignore everyone. If all they could do in their lives was spread rumours about me, they’re lives are distinctly lacking.
“Whatever.” I shrugged my shoulders in resolution. “People can think what they want, Tracey. I don’t give a shit anymore. I have other, more important things to think about than this. I appreciate you coming here and apologising, but I’ll be damned if I bow down to stupid insinuating gossip.”
“Sure, sure.” She smiled timidly. “I’ll be off then.”
I nodded in her direction and watched as she left the office.
It was such a funny situation that I had to laugh out loud. I was being watched without even realising it and the rumour mill began. Little did everyone know that I was still a virgin. Not that it meant anything. The trouble was that the rumours were true. I’m not sleeping with them, but I’m as good as.
In my daze, I immediately sought the phone for solace. I knew just who to call in this situation.
Dialling the extension, I let it ring a couple of times. “I take it that this is the infamous Cassie?” The sound of Kali’s cheerful voice instantly relaxed me.
“You would be correct in your assumption.” I giggled and twirled the phone cord between my fingers.
“How are you feeling?”
I sighed, relaxing back in my chair. “Strange, I must admit. I just had Tracey here apologising for what she said the other day.”
“What did she say?”
I had completely forgotten to tell Kali about this, so I gave her all the details. She sucked in her breath. “What a bitch! Are you okay?”
I smiled, feeling a little better already. It was nice knowing I had a friend who had my back. “Yes, I’m fine. As I said, she came to apologise, then politely told me there were rumours going around.”