Dressed smartly in a blouse and skirt, I left the house twenty minutes later to drive to the council offices where the foster-carer training I was delivering was being held. Although the training wasn’t due to start until ten o’clock I wanted to arrive early to set up the PowerPoint presentation and generally organize myself with the handouts. Zeena texted confirming she’d arrived safely at school and I was pleased she’d remembered to let me know.
Carers began arriving at 9.45 a.m. and I greeted each of them as they entered, ticking their names off the registration sheet. When I’d fostered for Homefinders I’d been with them for so long that I knew most of the carers, but since changing to the local authority there were many I didn’t know. Not all carers attended every training session as the groups were limited in size, and sessions were repeated so that carers could choose a date that suited them and met their training needs. Ongoing training is now part of fostering and compulsory in the UK.
The carers, like students in a classroom, filled the chairs at the back of the room first, and began chatting to those they knew. A middle-aged Asian lady dressed attractively in a sari came in and I smiled at her, introduced myself and then ticked her name off the list. She sat alone at one of the front tables and watched me as I sorted through my paperwork. I smiled at her again and then she beckoned me over as though wanting to say something. I leaned forward so I was within earshot, and she said quietly, ‘Are you fostering Zeena?’
I drew back slightly and tried to hide my shock, but my mouth had gone dry and my heart was drumming loudly. ‘Pardon?’ I said, pretending I hadn’t heard.
‘Are you fostering Zeena P—?’ she said again. ‘She’s fourteen and has run away from home. Her parents are sick with worry. She needs to contact them and go home.’
‘No, sorry. I can’t help you,’ I said, forcing a small smile.
I picked up my notes and pretended to read them again as I fought to regain my composure. How on earth did she know Zeena was with me? And what was that about Zeena running away and not being in touch? Zeena had seen her mother on Friday and she’d been aggressive and rude to her. Yet clearly we were talking about the same child.
The last of the carers came in and I closed the door and tried to rein in my thoughts. Picking up my notes, I began by welcoming everyone to the training, and then went through what’s referred to as ‘housekeeping’, which includes where the fire exits are, a reminder to turn off mobiles, confidentiality and a timetable for the day. As I spoke I avoided meeting the woman’s gaze, although I felt her eyes on me. My heart was still racing and my hands felt clammy, but once I began the PowerPoint presentation and everyone was concentrating on the screen it became a little easier. I stood to the side of the room and allowed my gaze to wander as I talked. Who was the woman and how did she know Zeena? Was she a relative, a member of her extended family and part of the Asian network Zeena had spoken of? I had no idea, but I needed to find out. This could be a huge threat to Zeena’s security.
Somehow I got through the next two hours and then at noon I broke the training for lunch. I reminded everyone that they needed to return by one o’clock for the afternoon session, and slipping the registration list into my bag I left the room. I went upstairs to where the social workers had their desks. It was a large open-plan office and I looked around for Edith, my supervising social worker (sometimes called a link worker), but I couldn’t see her. I saw another social worker I knew and she looked over and smiled. I went to her desk. ‘I’m looking for Edith or Tara,’ I said.
‘Edith has gone on leave, but Tara should be around somewhere,’ she said.
She, too, scanned the room and at that moment the double doors swung open and Tara came in, carrying a stack of folders.
‘Thank you,’ I said, and went over.
‘Hi. What are you doing here?’ Tara said, greeting me with a smile.
‘I’m running some training today,’ I said. ‘But I need to ask you something.’ I took the registration list from my bag. ‘This lady, Mrs Parvin –’ I said, pointing to her name on the sheet. ‘Could she know I’m looking after Zeena?’
‘She certainly shouldn’t,’ Tara said, shocked.
I explained what had happened.
‘I’ll see her supervising social worker straight away and find out what’s going on,’ Tara said. ‘Everyone here who’s working on Zeena’s case knows her whereabouts are to be kept secret. Is Zeena at school?’
‘Yes.’
‘Norma telephoned me this morning and said Zeena wasn’t able to tell her anything on Friday,’ Tara said.
‘That’s right. Norma said she’d been scared into not telling, and she hasn’t said anything to me either.’
Tara nodded. ‘How was Zeena over the weekend?’
‘She felt safer staying in, but we had a pleasant weekend.’ I gave her a brief résumé of our weekend.
‘And Zeena doesn’t need anything?’
‘No. I’ve asked her.’
‘OK. Let me find out what’s going on with Mrs Parvin and I’ll get back to you.’
‘Thank you.’
I left the office and went up to the canteen on the top floor. I bought a sandwich and a drink and joined some of the other carers at a table. We chatted as we ate. Mrs Parvin wasn’t in the canteen, but not all the carers were; some preferred to go out for lunch – to one of the local cafés. Once I’d finished eating I returned to the training room to prepare for the afternoon session, which was going to include role-playing situations that involved challenging behaviour. I pushed the tables and chairs to the edge of the room to make space in the middle. The carers returned and Mrs Parvin sat with two others. I began the session and it went well; role playing is a fun way of getting a message across. As we discussed the situations that we’d acted out involving challenging behaviour I was able to meet Mrs Parvin’s gaze, but there was nothing to be read there. At 3.45 p.m. I began winding up the session by going over what we’d covered, and then I distributed the handouts. As I did I saw Tara appear outside the glass-panelled door. She motioned that she’d wait and speak to me at the end. I concluded by thanking everyone for coming and said their certificates would be posted to them, then I opened the door for Tara to come in.
She waited until the room had emptied before she spoke. ‘I’ve raised the issue with Mrs Parvin’s supervising social worker. She’s going to speak to her now about the seriousness of breaking confidentiality, and also find out what she knows about Zeena. I’ve updated Norma and she’s ready to move Zeena out of the area to a safe house if necessary. She offered Zeena that option at the start, but Zeena said she wanted to stay in the area so she could be close to her brothers and sisters and see her friends at school. Could you ask Zeena if she knows Mrs Parvin?’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘We don’t know for certain that Mrs Parvin does know Zeena is with you,’ Tara continued. ‘She may just be fishing or it may be coincidence, although it’s a big one if it is.’
I nodded.
‘I’ll let you know the outcome, but obviously if you have any concerns about Zeena’s safety phone Norma or dial police emergency on 999.’
‘I will,’ I said.
Tara thanked me and asked how the training had gone, then we said goodbye and she left the room. Deep in thought and very worried, I packed away my training material, left the building and then drove home. As I approached my house I was even more vigilant and checked the street before parking on the drive and going in. I was expecting Zeena to arrive home at about half past four. When she didn’t appear I immediately started to worry. I called her mobile but it went through to her voicemail. I left a message asking her to text or phone to say she was OK.
Five minutes later she texted: Im OK. On the bus. Then a couple of minutes later she phoned. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t mean to worry you. I went home first.’
‘Zeena, that’s not a good idea,’ I said. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes. I just wanted to see
my brothers and sisters, but Mum wouldn’t open the door.’
‘So you didn’t see them?’
‘No.’
‘I’m sorry, but I really think you should wait for Tara to arrange contact.’
‘I know,’ she said sadly. ‘If my mother lets her. I don’t think she will.’
‘How much longer have you got on the bus?’
‘About ten minutes,’ she said.
‘All right. I’ll see you soon. Come straight home.’
Ten minutes later Zeena arrived home and I waited until she’d had a drink before I asked her if she knew Mrs S— Parvin.
‘Parvin is a common Bangladeshi name,’ Zeena said. ‘Although not in my family.’
‘So you don’t know her?’
‘I don’t think so. Why?’
We were now sitting in the living room and I looked at her seriously. ‘I don’t want you to be alarmed, but while I was at the council offices today a foster carer with that name asked if you were staying with me.’
Zeena looked puzzled but not shocked.
‘Could you have been followed home here?’ I asked, trying to hide my concern.
‘No, I’m constantly checking behind me,’ she said.
‘Have you told anyone you’re staying with me?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she said.
‘Not even your friends at school?’
‘I haven’t told anyone,’ Zeena said, and then hesitated.
‘Yes, go on,’ I encouraged. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘I can guess what has happened,’ she said evenly.
I now expected to hear the worst: that she’d accidentally let slip she was coming to live with me and this had somehow been passed on. However, what she told me was far more incredible.
‘When I told my best friend at school I was going to ask to come into care she was very worried. She said my family would be furious and they’d track me down through the Asian network and find me, which I knew was true. That’s why I asked for a white carer.’
‘Yes, I remember you saying something similar when you first arrived. Did you tell your friend you were here?’
‘No. I told her I was going to ask for a white carer. I had to; she was so worried about me. But I haven’t told her your name or where you live. It wasn’t fair on her to tell her, because her parents were sure to ask her if she knew where I was. They know my family. They all know each other. It would have been difficult for her to lie to her parents. I couldn’t ask her to do that.’
‘Yes?’ I prompted.
‘Well, her aunty lives next door to a foster carer who is Asian,’ Zeena continued. ‘I remember her aunty telling us about her when we visited her once, ages ago. I don’t know the neighbour’s name, but I bet it’s Parvin. She won’t know I’m here, but she’ll have been asked to find out which carer has me and to pass the information back to my family. That’s how it works with us.’
I stared at her with a mixture of awe and astonishment. ‘But how did your best friend’s aunty know you were in care?’
Zeena gave a small shrug. ‘Easy, really. My friend will have told her mother when she asked her, and she would have mentioned it to her sister (my friend’s aunty), who would have asked her neighbour. Because it was put out by my parents that I’d run away and was in danger, they’d all think they were doing right in helping to find me. Girls don’t run away in our community. It brings shame and dishonour, not only on the family but on the whole community. If they do run away they don’t stay lost for long.’
A chill ran down my spine. I could see now how it had happened and I was really worried – far more than Zeena appeared to be. ‘Norma suggested you go to a safe house out of the area,’ I said. ‘Don’t you think that’s a good idea?’
‘I’d rather stay here and be with my friends,’ Zeena said sadly. ‘I’ve lost my family; I don’t want to lose my friends as well. If I go to a safe house I’ll be all alone. What sort of life would I have?’
I could see her point, although I was no less worried.
‘You told that woman, Mrs Parvin, that I wasn’t here,’ Zeena said. ‘So she doesn’t know. I’ll be OK. I’m probably safer here now than I was before. They’ll be looking somewhere else for me.’ Which had a certain logic to it; as long as she wasn’t spotted.
‘I’m still very concerned that someone could see you coming in or leaving the house,’ I said. ‘Or follow you home.’
‘My friends wait with me at the bus stop at the end of school,’ she said. ‘And when I get off in the high street here I make sure I’m not followed. I suppose I could always start wearing a full veil.’ For a moment I thought she was serious, then her expression gave way to a very small smile. ‘That would really draw attention to me!’ she said. ‘I’m only joking.’
I smiled too. Zeena was a lovely child and it was pitiful that she had to be so fearful, and that her life had been so compromised, when at her age she should have been running free. In having this conversation I felt we’d grown a little closer. Would she now feel comfortable enough to share some of her heartache with me? ‘Zeena, love, can you tell me why you fled your family and asked to go into care?’
She looked at me, and then lowered her gaze. ‘No. I don’t want you to think badly of me. If you knew you’d think I was evil and treat me like my family do.’
I was shocked. ‘Of course I wouldn’t,’ I said. ‘Children are never to blame for the abuse they’ve suffered. Although they might have been told they are. Sadly, I’ve looked after many children who have been abused, and nothing shocks me any more.’
There was a small silence before Zeena said: ‘If you knew what happened to me you’d be shocked.’
Her words hung in the air and I had a dreadful feeling she would be right.
Chapter Seven
Desperate
The following day, as Zeena left for school, I reminded her to text me when she arrived, and also to come straight home at the end of school as we had the doctor’s appointment at five o’clock. I saw her to the garden gate and then watched her walk up the street. Before she turned the corner and was out of sight she looked back and gave a little wave. I waved back. In her uniform, with her bag over her shoulder, she could have been any teenager going to school if you didn’t know her inner turmoil. She said she enjoyed school work and wanted to do well.
I returned indoors but I couldn’t settle until Zeena texted to say that she had arrived safely. I woke Adrian with a cup of tea and then switched on the computer in the front room to check my emails. Like most businesses and services, the social services were going digital and expected carers to use email where appropriate. As I worked Adrian came downstairs.
‘Zeena’s phone keeps going off in her room,’ he said, poking his head round the front-room door.
‘That’s odd,’ I said. ‘She’s taken the phone that works with her. I saw it in her hand.’
‘Well, it’s bleeping a lot,’ he said, and then went to the kitchen to make himself breakfast.
I saved the document I was working on and went upstairs. I respected the privacy of the young people I looked after and usually only went into their rooms to put their clean clothes on their beds (for them to put away), unless I had reason to believe they were taking drugs or up to other mischief, in which case I might have a look around. This didn’t apply to Zeena; there was no suggestion she was taking drugs, but I was concerned that perhaps someone was trying to get hold of her urgently and didn’t have her new mobile number. As I went into her room I saw the phone lying on the shelf and I picked it up. It was working. The screen showed dozens of missed calls and text messages, mostly from one mobile number. I returned the phone to the shelf and went downstairs. Clearly someone was trying to get in touch with Zeena urgently and I thought she should know. I took my mobile from my bag and texted: Ur old phone keeps ringing. Is it urgent? Shall I answer?
She texted back immediately: NO! Don’t touch it. Pleeeease!
I thought this was a
bit of an overreaction but I texted back. OK. Don’t worry. I won’t.
Five minutes later – when Zeena had had a chance to think about it – she texted: Sorry. Secret boyfriend. Don’t tell anyone.
Of course that explained it, I thought. Zeena’s parents were so strict that they certainly wouldn’t have allowed her to have a boyfriend at her age, so she used the separate phone just for him. It was quite romantic, really, I thought – a bit like Romeo and Juliet with their clandestine meetings. I supposed she hadn’t liked to tell me in case I disapproved, so she’d made up the excuse of the phone not working. I remember she’d pushed it furtively under her pillow before so I couldn’t see the screen.
That afternoon when Zeena returned home from school she was still very anxious about me seeing the phone. The first thing she said when I opened the door was: ‘You didn’t answer my phone or read my messages, did you?’
‘No, of course not, love,’ I said. ‘Although I think perhaps we should have a little chat about boyfriends in general?’ As her carer I thought this might be wise, as I doubted her parents had had that conversation, given they didn’t know he existed.
‘I’ll get changed quickly,’ Zeena said, and went up to her room to change out of her school uniform to go to the doctor’s.
Five minutes later she reappeared in jeans and a long shirt and we left the house to walk to the surgery, which was about fifteen minutes away. I usually walked to the surgery as it had limited car-parking facilities, reserved mainly for the disabled and the elderly. As Zeena didn’t know where the practice was and it was her first visit, we agreed I’d go with her and would sit in the waiting room while she went in to see the doctor. I’d offered to go in to see the doctor with her, but she said she’d rather go in alone, which at her age was reasonable. But as we walked I could see she was growing increasingly anxious. ‘The doctor is lovely,’ I said. ‘Try not to worry.’