had ordinary-looking panties and both had bras over
what looked to me like quite underdeveloped breasts.
How could two such fragile-looking girls have gotten
in the sort of trouble that would send them to a place
like. this? I wondered,
Because the door of the barn was still wideopen. neither Robin nor I risked speaking to them.
They didn't seem to care anyway. They still showed
absolutely no interest in us. We watched them with
fascination, however, as they both got under their
blankets and lowered their heads to their pillows. I felt like someone in a desert watching
someone drinking a glass of cold, sparkling freshwater. Those bunks looked so comfortable. How rich they were to have an actual pillow, a soft mattress. When I glanced at Robin_. I saw a similar
covetous expression on her face.
MLady Two stood in the doorway.
"Lights out, girls," she announced, and although
I didn't see her throw any switch, the lights snapped
off. It took a few moments to get used to the darkness.
The starlight coming in through the four windows
helped.
"Hey!" I chanced, calling to what I thought now
were lucky girls. "Who are you? How long have you
been here? Is this the only place for us to sleep?" Neither responded.
"I'm Robin and that's Phoebe," Rabin added.
"What are your names?"
Silence remained.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked. No one's
here. Can't you talk?"
"We're not going to bite you." Robin said. They
didn't budge. "You believe this?" she asked me. "No. They're just being brats. What's your
damn name?" I asked sharply, raising my voice a bit
too loudly.
Suddenly, the door of the barn swung open and
the lights went on.
M'Lady One was standing there.
"Who's talking?" she demanded. "Well, who is
it? Confess or I'll hold you all accountable."
The smaller girl sat up and pointed at me. "She talked," she accused.
My mouth dropped. How could she do that,
squeal on me?
"Sure. It just had to be my girl." M'Lady One
muttered unhappily. "and after I thought she was
beginning to do well." She entered the barn and
approached me.
I turned away and looked down, but she kept
coming.
"When lights are out. you go to sleep." she said,
hovering right over me. I kept my head dawn. "Are
you just stupid? Or are you just a hard case? What do
you need to convince you we're serious about the
rules here? Well, which is it, stupid or defiant?
Answer immediately when you are asked a question,"
she bellowed.
I turned slowly. I was tired. I ached and I was
afraid. but I couldn't help myself. I looked up and into
her face as bravely as I could manage.
"I'm not stupid. This place is stupid."
She raised her eyebrows and then smiled.
"Really? What do you find stupid? Surely, not your
buddies," she said, and M'Lady Two entered the barn.
She walked up beside M'Lady One and put her hands
on her hips.
"What's the problem now?" she asked. "My little sister here says this is all stupid. I'm
trying to find out what exactly is stupid."
I looked at Robin, who immediately looked
down at the floor when they turned to her as well. M'Lady Three entered. "What's going on? I'd
think everyone would be quite tired by now." "We're about to hear a critique on Dr.
Foreman's School." M'Lady Two told her.
"Well. Phoebe bird, what's your answer? What
exactly do you find stupid?" my buddy repeated. "The whole thing," I said. "Making us sleep on
a hard wooden cot and making us earn food and water
and wear these, these stupid sacks with diapers." She doesn't like her clothes." M'Lady One told
M'Lady Two as if that were an amazing thing to hear
me say.
"Well then," M'Lady Two said. "she shouldn't
have to wear them."
"Exactly my thoughts." my buddy replied. Before I could respond or move away, they
seized my wrists. M'Lady Three stepped up. I
screamed and struggled, but they were so strong. They
got me down on the wooden bunk and M'Lady Three
took hold of my sack and drew it up and over my
head. In moments they had it off me and I was naked,
but for the diaper, socks, and shoes. I knew how
ridiculous I looked. I cried and screamed and they
released me and stepped back. Immediately, I covered
my breasts with my arms and sat up.
"Now, are you happier?" my buddy asked. "No. Give it back to me," I cried,
"This... what did you call it.., stupid sack? We
don't want you to feel stupid."
She turned and the three started out.
"Wait!" I cried. "I'm sorry. Please. Give it back.
I can't lie here like this."
They paused and looked at each other. "Think she's sorry?" my buddy asked the other
two.
"It's hard to tell. She looks sorry, but she looked
sorry from the moment I set eyes on her," M'Lady
Two said.
"Okay, let's see how sorry she is. Step outside."
my buddy said.
I looked at Robin. She wore an expression of
abject terror and avoided looking back at me. The
other two girls remarkably were as they had been,
their eyes closed, still on their backs. They hadn't
turned or budged to witness any of it.
"Why?" I asked.
"Yours is not to question why," my buddy said. "Yours is but to do and die," the other two
recited.
I walked slowly behind them out of the barn.
The first thing I saw was Teal lying on her side on her
bunk. She must have tried to run off or something
because I saw her feet were shackled to the cat. She
was folded in a fetal position, her eyes closed, but her
body shaking. It wasn't warm anymore. In fact, it was
cold.
I shuddered as well.
"Over here." my buddy ordered, placing me in
the pool of illumination thrown dawn by a pole light. I did as she said.
"Arms at your sides, face forward. Do it!" she
screamed at me, and I did. I felt myself shaking harder
and harder. "Okay, now recite the school prayer. Go
on. Recite it and do it loud enough for them to hear
inside. Do it!"
I started, trying desperately to remember it, but
stumbling over words. Each time I did, one of them
stepped close to me and shouted in my ear. "Wrong!
Start again. Wrong!"
I don't know if I ever got it completely right,
but eventually. I did recite it close enough to satisfy
them. My buddy, M'Lady One, handed me the sack. "Okay, put it back on."
I took it.
"Don't we get a thank you?" M'Ladv Two
asked.
"Thank you," I mumbled.
"We didn't hear you." my buddy said. "Thank you!" I cried. I dressed quickly before
they could change their minds and put me through
something equally terrible,
"Get back inside and go to sleep. Another
infraction of the rules and you'll go to the Ice Room,"
&
nbsp; my buddy added.
I glanced at Teal. She hadn't dared turn to look
at me. She was still shivering, but not as much. Sleep
was overtaking fear and anger. I thought.
As I started toward the door of the barn. I
glanced to my left because I saw something moving in
the shadows. The silhouette became clearer and I realized it was Dr. Foreman. I cringed inside. She had been standing there all the while, watching them torture me. How could she let them do these things to us? A part of me wanted to call out to her, call out to that sweet smile of welcome she had first given us in orientation and ask her what had happened to that. but I was too afraid to do it In a moment her silhouette seemed to merge with the shadows anyway and she
was gone. I wasn't even sure she had really been there. I entered the barn and went quickly to my bunk.
The two girls were still asleep and Robin was on her
side with her back to me. I lay dawn with my back to
her. The lights went out again and the door was
closed. I heard it being locked and it occurred to me
that they had never told us where the bathroom was.
What if we have to get up and go? I wondered. Were
we supposed to just do it in our diaper again? "Robin?" I whispered.
I listened, but heard nothing from her. Perhaps
she had finally fallen asleep out of the same
exhaustion I felt, or perhaps she was simply too
terrified to utter a sound. I couldn't blame her. Suddenly I heard the cry of something wild, a
coyote, I thought. There was another, then another. It
sounded like a whole pack of them out there in the darkness. They sounded like a pack of vampires. I wandered how Teal was doing and shuddered thinking
about it. Sleep would be a hard-won prize tonight. The long journey that had begun with a
disappointment and a betrayal was finally over. I
thought.
I was here.
This was my first night at Dr, Foreman's School
for Girls.
And all I could think was I was right about that
plane ride I took. Surely it must be the way the dead
are taken to their afterlife.
I'm in hell.
What else could it possibly be?
3
Three New Squaws
.
Even if our buddies weren't there to whip us
with their screams in the morning, the blazing sunlight pouring through the unblocked windows lit up the inside of the barn so brightly, it burned through our thick walls of sleep and dreams, melting away any determination and resistance we had to awakening. There was no question either of us wanted to wake up in a place like this. Teal, who I imagined was used to sleeping into the mid-afternoon when she didn't attend school, was probably in utter shock out there.
Almost simultaneous with the glaring light exploding around us came the shouts of the m'ladies to rise. I groaned and looked at Robin. She was awake, but she just lay there staring up. I turned and saw that the other two girls. Gia and Mindy, were already dressed and outside. When did they do that? Did they dress and leave in the dark?
As soon as I sat up, my back felt as if all the muscles in it were tearing away from the bones.
"Stand up!" Mlady Two screamed at Robin.
M'Lady Three lifted her bunk at the foot of it, then dropped it hard to the floor.
Robin cried out with pain. Reluctantly, she rose, groaning like someone in her eighties or nineties.
"What time is it?" she asked, rubbing her lower back.
"Did you speak? Did you say something without permission? I didn't hear anything, did I? Well?" M'Lady Two demanded, her nose so close to Robin's. I thought they would touch.
Rabin shook her head.
"All right then," M'Lady Two said, standing straight. She turned so she was addressing me as well, "This morning you will be introduced to your chores first and then you will be taken to breakfast."
"This first breakfast is a gift since you have done little to earn the food." M'Lady One said. "Consequently, from this time on, whenever you approach a m'lady or any other student at this school, you are to say, 'Excuse me, I'm sorry.' Should you forget to do it, you will be given a demerit on the spot. Is that understood? Is it?" she screamed at me.
"Yes," I said. Robin nodded.
"March out," M'Lady Two ordered, and we did so.
The sunlight made me squint. I covered my eyes and gradually got accustomed to what I was seeing. How could it be so hot so early? I wondered.
I looked for Teal. She was standing by her bunk, wavering as if drunk, her head down. The shackles were off her feet, but still attached to the cot. I looked around. The other two girls were nowhere in sight.
"Okay, let's have it." M'Lady One ordered. Robin looked at me. Teal raised her head. None of us knew what she wanted, "The prayer!" she screamed. "Our morning prayer. Are you all as stupid as you are incorrigible? Recite."
We began,
No mumbling, Loud." she commanded.
Teal, who now looked terrified of making any mistakes, did the best. Robin and I spoke a split second behind her, correcting ourselves.
"Not absolutely perfect, but passable," M'Lady One decided, just as M'Lady Three came toward us. She was carrying three shovels over her shoulder,
"Good morning, girls," she sang with exaggerated glee. "Isn't it a beautiful morning'? This is one of your tools." She distributed the three shovels to us. Teal took hers as if the handle were made of steel wool, holding it as softly as possible with just the tips of her fingers.
"From now on, you are responsible for it," M'Lady Three continued. "We will show you where the tool shed is. You will put them away neatly with every other tool. When you open the tool shed door, wait a moment or two since rattlesnakes seem to find it comfortable in there and I know we're low on antirattlesnake venom."
Teal looked up sharply and then at the two of us. I saw Robin was having trouble swallowing. She looked like she would topple any moment. My heart was pounding like a jungle drum, sending warnings to every part of my body. My blood was in a panic, rushing through my veins as if it were looking for a place to hide.
"This morning you will join Natani. He is a Navajo Indian and the farm manager. You are to give him the same respect and obedience you give to any of us. He will explain your work to you and you will work for two hours before we go to breakfast. As you have been told, you haven't done enough to earn it, but you will be given this first meal anyway, However. I assure you, anyone who doesn't do her job adequately will not be given breakfast and will remain out there working until she does."
Robin raised her hand.
"Yes, you may speak," M'Lady Two said. "Can I go to the bathroom first?"
"You all can go to the bathroom one at a time." She turned to her right to point at a narrow shack.
"What's that?" Teal asked. "I mean, permission to speak."
M'Lady Three nodded.
"What's that?"
"That's your outhouse."
"What's an outhouse?"
"It's your bathroom. stupid. Once again. I advise you to hesitate a moment or two after you open the door as rattlesnakes like to curl up and sleep around the toilet at night."
Robin froze, her eyes widening.
"We're not going to wait all day for you to go to the bathroom. girls. If you don't go now. you pee or whatever in your diapers.
Move!" M'Lady Three screamed.
With great hesitation. Robin started far the outhouse and Teal and I followed behind. As we did. I started to look around more at our surroundings. Obviously we were somewhere deep in some desert. I could see cactus and brush, but outside of the immediate property, which was fenced in, there was no grass, just long, rolling, brown, crusty dirt in every direction. The sunlight wavered over it, making it look even hotter and drier. Mountains were way off in the distance
.
To our right we could see dozens of pigs bumping and pushing at each other to get at feed. They slobbered through mud and their own excrement, their heads down, consuming themselves in eating. Farther to the right were four horses nibbling on hay. The gardens were on our left and from the looks of them were bigger than any other garden I had seen. I recognized cornstalks, but nothing else, not being much of a fanner or around farms ever.
Robin opened the outhouse door and jumped back. "Who wants to go first?" she asked Teal and me.
Both of us looked in, Toilet? There was nothing but what looked like a big pipe with a crude wooden seat around it Instead of toilet paper, sheets of what looked like wrapping paper were beside it.
"Let's go. girls," M'Lady Three called, "Every minute you waste here, you have to make up at the garden, and that's how much longer it will be before you have any food."
Teal stepped in timidly. She started to close the door behind her and then screamed and jumped out.
"Something's crawling in there. I saw it!" she cried.
"It's more afraid of you than you are of it, whatever it is," M'Lady Three said, stepping up. "Either pee in your pants or go in and do it now."
"Oh, God!" Teal screamed, her hands pressed to her temples. "I can't stand this. I can't stand it!"
Her whole body started to shake. I looked at the three buddies to see what they would do, but they just stared at her, watching her cry and pound herself. She raged for a few more moments, then sank to the ground, sitting and sobbing with gasps like someone who couldn't catch her breath.
"I want to go home!" she cried. "I'll do anything, say anything, promise anything. Let me go home. Please."
M'Lady Two turned to Robin, "Are you going to the bathroom or not?" she asked as if seeing Teal's tantrum and fit was nothing out of the ordinary for any of them.
Robin nodded and went into the outhouse.
Teal fell on her side and closed her eyes. "I want to go home." she whispered. "I want to go home." She said it louder: "Please, let me go home."
"What happened to the tough rich girl whose father would be angry at us? I have news for you, girl. Listen to this headline. You've got a long way to go before you go home," M'Lady Three told her. "And all you're doing this morning by throwing this stupid tantrum is making that journey longer yet."
The door opened and Robin came out. She looked pale, but said nothing. I stepped in, quivering all aver, and did my business. When I came out. Teal was sitting up and wiping her cheeks.
"It's all right," I told her. "There's nothing in there but some bugs and ants."